(WARNING) So, I awoke this morning.

…
My stomach started "TALKING" to me.  I "received the message".
(("A GENTLEMAN (any of y'all) never ASKS.
A LADY (ME) never TELLS."))

So, I "WALKED"--WITH my walker--eyes UP ~60% of the time--to my "porcelain throne".
FIRST, I STOOD--leaning onto my toilet-guardrails, and urinated into my toilet.  NO/ZERO spillage!  GREAT aim/control!
Next, I "shook" (GUYS understand.), MOTIONED that I needed my "TOILET-chair, stabilized my STANDING-position as I waited for my "chair", turned myself around--with help ONLY from the "arm-rails"--and lowered myself to a sitting-position upon (huddled OVER) my "porcelain THRONE".
Finally, "the FLOODGATES opened"!




CONCLUSION 
WHO knows MY body BETTER than I?
NO ONE!
("PROPS" to my degree in "Biomedical Engineering" … AND my knowledge/understanding of PHYSICS!)


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