…
"I am the KING of NERDS."
(--Leonard, 'The Big Bang Theory')
To review:
-- I did NOT receive/earn a "B"--on a report-card--'til my BOLD "venture" into the "Bioengineering"-major freshman year of undergraduate-COLLEGE at "Ivy League"-University of Pennsylvania.
-- I was VALEDICTORIAN of my graduating class of 2003 from the PRESTIGIOUS high school of Saint Thomas Aquinas in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.
-- I was ~six months IN on an "Accelerated Master's Degree", when my UNFORTUNATE car-accident occurred.
-- I earned a PERFECT "800" on my "MATH-S.A.T."
-- (I COULD go on and on and on … & ON about my "LAUNDRY-LIST" of academic-accolades, but I'll spare thee.
((… Y'ALL: (Sigh of RELIEF) "WHEW!"))
___________________________________________________
…
Why do I CONSTANTLY feel 'tis NECESSARY to name my PLENTITUDE/PLETHORA/MYRIAD of "ILLUSTRIOUS" (Go ahead: paint a PICTURE … of my scholastic-SUPERLATIVES. I DARE ya!) recognitions of my REMARKABLE INTELLIGENCE?!
… I'll tell you:
Since I--SUPPOSEDLY--have an INTENSE/SERIOUS brain-injury, NO ONE--upon FIRST meeting me--takes my ASTOUNDING MENTAL-"strength" seriously! It's TERRIBLY UNFORTUNATE to note … that through MY (PHYSICALLY-)disabled observations over the last ~6.33+ YEARS, I've noticed that FAR TOO MANY people are FAR TOO QUICK to make FALSE,
(EMOTIONALLY-)"HURTFUL", DISMISSIVE assumptions about my MENTAL-fortitude!
((… It's like EVERYONE bought "Milton"'s ''JUMP to Conclusions'-Mat''(--'Office Space'))
Ergo, I CONSTANTLY feel the NEED to CORRECT these INCORRECT "judgments".
P.S. I "telekinetically" made a tumor "APPEAR" on the X-ray of MY brain.
(… For Halloween I dressed as a PRE-balding, wheelchair-bound, mentally-ASTONISHING Professor X from 'X Men'.)
____________________________________________________________________________
"I very rarely think in words at all. A thought comes, and I
may try to express it in words afterwards." -Albert Einstein
(… I think in NUMBERS.
I encounter a "PREDICAMENT", and I attempt to "SOLVE"
said "PROBLEM" by QUICKLY determining the
PROBABILITY of SUCCESS.
… Over a NUMBER of "TRIALS"--IF this action is a
REPEATED exercise, then I'd then analyze the resulting
STATISTICS.)
… The DIFFICULT aspect is ACCURATELY DESCRIBING
said "NUMBERS" to OTHERS.
(… I'd IMAGINE/HOPE that MY way of "PROBLEM-
SOLVING"/"QUANTITATIVE ANALYSIS" may/will be
EASIER with/in my MATH-tutoring.)
_______________________________________________
...…
"If you think about it, it's a GREAT word:
'MA'--which is good … and 'NEWER'--which is GREAT.
Break it down: 'MA', 'NEWER'.
Where's the PROBLEM?"
(--George, 'Seinfeld')
(… Said "GREAT word" is "MANURE"--a NOT-SO
______________________________________________
Tomorrow morning, I SHALL begin my MATH-tutoring
service.
(… HOPEFULLY--Actually, I'm CONFIDENT, I can CONVEY
my MATHEMATICAL "picture-making"/"problem-
solving"/"IMAGERY" to my "tutEE".)
______________________________________________
As my "neuropsychologist" BRILLIANTLY concluded,
"NUMBERS RELAX (me)."
ALAS:
"How many times do I have to get SCREWED, before I learn
my lesson?!"
(--'Scorpion', an episode about a MATHEMATICAL-algorithm
used to generate award-winning music)
MORAL
CONTRARY to MY CONSTANT quantitative-analysis,
numbers/math caN'T solve/predict EVERYTHING … just A
LOT!
...
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