I'm KINDA like "Jacob Silj".

…
(A Will Ferrel character--on 'Saturday Night Live'--who suffers from "Voice Imodulation-Syndrome")
(… Will/Silj/ME: (MONOTONE) "I AM UNABLE TO CONTROL THE VOLUME OR PITCH OF MY VOICE.  … 
WE'RE LOUD.  WE'RE PROUD.  GET USED-TO IT.  … YOU, SPEECH-NAZI.")
(… YouTube: "Jacob Silj")

… 'Por ejemplo', this morning my buzzer--for SOME-reason--was NOT working.  So, I HAD-to YELL to get my Caregiver's attention … to bring my "TOILET-chair", so I could urinate.
(… Due to my SPORADICALLY-aching LEFT hip, I am NOT-ALLOWED to--YET--"WALK")
… EVENTUALLY, said "Caregiver" cometh, & I "RELEASED my FRUSTRATION--via URINE".
(… I MAY or may-NOT have screamed during SAID "kidney-releasw/secretion of URIC ACID".)
(… CALM DOWN!  SAID "screaming" was NOT due-to PAIN, as in a "U.T.I."  I JUST like to JOKE.)


… So, I went-into the … HOSPITAL 
((… I DESPISE these medical- (SUPPOSED)"organizationS" (Ha ha HA!  … PUH--LEEZE!))
today for X-rays on my SORE/ACHING LEFT-hip.
The staff there were SURPRISINGLY helpful & understanding!
(… I see a HIP-specialist on Wednesday … for, HOPEFULLY, … BETTER-news!)

… MY HEALTH-outlook seems "mighty-BLEAK".  
(… GROAN)
But, "NO ONE's FUTURE …is SET."
(--oldER Professor X, 'X-Men: Days of Future Past')

...
If I were an automotive-vehicle, I'd be--POST-accident--a Hyundai-Acura.
(… Sales-AD: 
"When you STOP treating 'em as DUMMIES, something AMAZING happens."

… 
I "REALLY WANT"/"MUST HAVE" the that HIGH-TECH wheelchair on 'Seinfeld'.
(… "It's SO-GOOD, … it'll make you WISH you wereN'T handicapped.")

…
UUUGGGHHH!  My NEW Caregiver REALLY SUCKS … at LIFE … -helping for a "CRIP"!
(… I've GOTTA search-for a REPLACEMENT!)


…
'Tis time for an ALL-NEW episode of my FAVORITE television-show, 'Scorpion'!
(… Big-SURPRISE!  'Tis about SMARTEES!)

… (RELATED:)
ATTENTION, ANYONE in particular!
I AM "SUPER-FUN Guy"!



P.S. "U.T.I." = "Urinary Tract Infection" … NOT to-be CONFUSED-with the POORLY-named "Universal Technical Institute".


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