I AM LANCE

...ARMSTRONG--NOT BASS!!!  (MINUS the whole testicular cancer thing)   Today in Physical Therapy, I pedalled on the "FOOT-bike"".  My pedalling maximum was 57 rpm (revolutions per minute).  THAT'S 95% of a COMPLETE wheel-turn EVERY SECOND.  ((] JUST PUSHED UP MY GLASSES.)   THAT'S ALL FOR NOW.  (I'VE GOTTA "FIX" MY GLASSES ON MY FACE!)

NOTICED IMPROVEMENT

I "told" my Occupational Therapist recently that I've (See subject.) in the GREATER PAINLESS MOVEMENT that I have with my left arm.  He concurred. THIS IS HUGE!  ("THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID."--Michael Scott, 'The Office')

"BRAIN INJURY, WHAT?!", Part II

So, the staff weighed me--in my chair--and the scale displayed some WEIRD number.  I, then, pressed a button--for which staff YELLED at me, "WHY'D YOU DO THAT?!" Am I THE ONLY PERSON HERE who knows the "conversion"--2.2 pounds ~ 1 kilogram?

"BRAIN INJURY, WHAT?!"

I JUST beat my assistant Occupational Therapist--a former "Mathematics" major--at Connect 4--TWICE...WITH NO DEFEATS!  He disgustedly remarked, "HOW DO YOU PLAN THAT FAR AHEAD?!" (I JUST finished a sentence with a preposition.  CAN I DO THAT?!) (REGARDLESS!  I was just quoting him!)

When I am healthy enough

...to WALK out of here, I'll quote 'Chapelle's Show': "IT'S A CELEBRATION, BITCHES!"

"I PITY THE FOOL!"

--Mr. T Some patients here complain about rehabilitation, despite their having the ability--NE'ER SAY, the PRIVILEGE--to PAINLESSLY AND INDIVIDUALLY "WALK". Although they may be physically ahead of me, I have the UTMOST CONFIDENCE in stating that I AM THE "NEUROLOGICAL" CHAMPION! (AM I BRAGGING?!) (OH WELL!)

noticed improvement

I HAVE NOTICED greater movement in my left leg AND left arm.  I can tolerate--EVEN PREFER--to roll along my left shoulder.  (THIS allows me to hold onto the bed rail with my stronger right hand.)

ENCOURAGEMENT

Just a few minutes ago, a staff member was doing some kind of "reflex test" on me.  During said test, she exclaimed, "WOW!  You lifted your left leg (my BAD one) up higher than your right!"  (I don't think she realized it, but THAT'S an elliptical clause.) (I JUST SERIOUSLY PUSHED UP MY GLASSES!)