...
AFTER consulting with my Editor ('cuz I'm a SOON-to be PUBLISHED WRITER now), I'm gonna BLOG-post the JOURNAL I kept during the WEEK or so my electricity was OUT.
... HERE 'tis:
HURRICANE-Warning/TORNADO-Watch
[SUNDAY]
With NO electrical-power (NO Internet, NO
television, NO DVD-player, NO air conditioning, NO lights, NO lamps), I just-HAFTA
suck it UP, & push-ON.
-- ONWARD
& UPWARD!
-- I released (RECTALLY) SOME of my frustration in my TOILET … TWICE in ~three hours EARLY
this morning … INSTEAD of PERUSING the
Internet.
(… Is THAT
how the COOL-kids are referring to
their GALAVANTING-upon the World Wide Web
… THESE days?)
… THAT’s a GOOD thing, because I received EXTRA feedings late last night
as PREP for the ZERO feedings ALL-day TODAY, ‘cuz of the
IMMINENT inclement-weather.
-- This
storm has REALLY IGNITED my FIRE for
CREATIVITY & WRITING!
… USUALLY,
I’m ENTIRELY LEFT-brained, … a.k.a. MATHEMATICAL & ORDER-seeking.
… NOW, I
hafta-devise various NON-electrical ways to entertain MYSELF. … Then, I WRITE about ‘em.
(…
KINDA-like how a BLOG works)
-- I played
a few card games.
… I played
a NEW game (“Mexican Train”) with my mom & my Caregiver. ‘Tis NOT the most-INTERESTING game. But, THEY humored me.
… WHEW!
… P.S. I won!
(… ‘Cuz it’s ALL numbers & strategy)
… I played
3-person cribbage. My Caregiver was
WINNING for … ~78.4% of the match. …
But, in the LAST TWO hands, I cranked-UP da’ juice … & WON.
-- I ATE
some chicken … & cottage cheese … SEPARATELY … & ORALLY.
… I actually-REQUESTED a mouth-COOLER/-MOISTENER
AFTER the … six bites of chicken,
because they were DRY.
(… I ASKED-for some o’ the ice cream cake my mom
brought-over. … But, I SETTLED-for … nine
bites o’ cottage cheese, as my mom dipped Ritz
crackers in HER half.
(… I called her out—a
la ‘Seinfeld’—for “DOUBLE-dipping the chip”.)
... Yes,
I—ASHAMEDLY—felt like a CHILD … for having-to SHARE his-OWN bowl of food with his-OWN MOTHER!
--
FURTHER-utilizing my CREATIVITY, I used my TWO-armed
BENDING-bar, … ‘til I got tired.
(… which was … a LONG-time)
(… I FORGOT the device’s exact-NAME.)
--
THANKFULLY, my MAIN-Nurse/#2 in command had the
FOREsight—which I LACK
(OBVIOUSLY)—to fill-out my PAYROLL-form
FRIDAY instead of MONDAY.
-- JUST as
something to DO—since I currently have NOTHING, I’ll count-UP the COMMON
football-scores. ((… In OTHER-words,
I’ll count the 3s (field goals) & 7s (touchdowns with extra point).)):
3, 6, 7, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16,
17, 18, 20, 21, 23, 24, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 41, 42, 44,
45, 48, 49, 51, 52, 54, 55, 56, 58, 59, 62, 63, 65, 66, 69, 70, etc.
((… THAT’s
about as HIGH as I’ve ever SEEN! (TEN
touchdowns?! … Come ON, Defense?! … So, I’ll STOP there, … & do CRUNCHES.))
(… I KNOW
it is NOT EVERY multiple of 3. But, it’s pretty-much ALL the scores I’ve
actually-SEEN.)
-- Aaahhh,
EARLY-bedtime … at ~9:45 pm … EST, ‘cuz I’m HOPING my Davie-community … pulls
its head OUTTA its ass … by morning.
ZZZZZZZZZZZ
[MONDAY – 9/11]
(… What an
APPROPRIATE date … for SUCH a CALAMITY!)
(… As an
Unwavering-OPTIMIST, I say: “Make today CELEBRATORY …. For BELOW the belt-reasonS! …
FYI: I’m talkin’ LEGS & WALKING,
… NOT GROIN & CANOODLING.)
(… I WISH!)
-- With NO
electrical-power (STILL?!), I have NO-idea of the time.
(… ‘Twas ~11:30 pm … PST.)
… I AWOKE to WALK-to my toilet to STAND & urinate.
… Despite my EXTREME-fatigue … at
~2:30 a,m. … EST, ‘twas a SURPRISINGLY-GOOD WALK
… of an UNWAVERING, eyes-UP GAZE, STABLE HIPS & a STEADY GAIT.
-- (AUDIBLE-sigh)
If I were to describe the appearance of my pool in CULINARY-terms (‘cuz THAT’s
what I KNOW), it LOOKS-like a CONGLOMERATION
of Cream of BROCCOLI &
[WATERED-down] Split-Pea SOUPS.
-- UUUGGGHHH,
AAARRRRRGGGHHH! This WAITING-game is REALLY cutting-INTO my BOOK-EDITING!
(… ‘Cuz my WORKS
are on Google.docs)
-- Even
though I—only-CURRENTLY—GREATLY-DESPISE her (for IGNORING me & IMPLYING
that she WISHES I were DEAD), I DO-HOPE that my EX-belle … & her family … SURVIVED this storm SAFELY.
(… My
fraternity’s motto is … Be a TRUE
Gentleman.)
… Along
THOSE lines, I WISH I had email to CHECK-on the physical- &
psychological-HEALTH of my friends in the SoFla-area.
-- To avoid
EXTREME-BOREDOM, I’ll list some PRIME
numbers:
… (Is 1 PRIME?
…. I’m goin’ with … no.)
2 (?), 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23,
29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, 91, 97, 101, 103,
109.
… So, the COMPLETE list of prime #s for EACH of the tens’ divisions up-to 110 would be …
four, four, two, two, three, two, two, three, two, two, three.
… I
JUST-noticed that … STARTING-with the 20s,
each tens’ division contains TWO then TWO then THREE primes, …
alternating, … up-to—AND including the 100s.
… So, I
LIKE-to PLAY with NUMBERS in my spare-time.
It’s RELAXING … &
mind-DEVELOPING. Is THAT so-WRONG?!
… PLUS,
‘tis ENCOURAGING, … that my MUCH-MALIGNED
MIND can STILL quantitatively-PROCESS
at a FRACTION of the SPEED & ACCURACY it once-HAD! I still GALLANTLY-TRY for PRECISION, … to
NO-avail.
[TUESDAY – 9/12]
After a HORRIBLE night, (“I’m on
NO-sleep. NO-sleep! … Oh, I’m
‘STRESSED’.”—Jerry, ‘Seinfeld’) ‘cuz my WONDERFUL house LACKS a generator to COOL me.
In lieu of my ZERO-power & ZERO-air
conditioning, I went to my mom’s apartment … at ~2:30 am. THERE, I could FINALLY get-BACK online &
recharge my laptop.
-- I’m TORN: I
WANNA-be COMFORTABLE & WORKING in
MY house. But, I am so, so, SSSOOOOO
Uncomfortable IN my NON-air conditioned
home.
… So, I VENTURED-over to my mom’s place ‘til DAMN-Davie
FIXES my POWER.
(… ‘Twas
WEDNESDAY, & their [collective] HEADS were STILL wedged FIRMLY-UP their
ASSES. But, MY BIG-ballz made me TRY
my abode.)
I PLACATED
my mom by stating:
“I woN’T
DIRECT my ANGER AT anyone
in-PARTICULAR. But, I am VERY UPSET with
my CURRENT situation!” (… Word-PLAY for Internet, electric-power
& legs)
-- Then,
the Internet went-OUT at HER place!
(… F—K the
Davie/Plantation area for being SO STUPID!
… I rih-FUZE to BELIEVE that
I’m the ONLY semi-SANE individual who UNDERSTANDS the CONCEPT of … PREPARATION!)
… So, I
CONTINUED my writing AND tried-to
teach my mom Hearts.
… We ALSO
played Jin Rumi & cribbage.
(… I REEEALLY-NEEEEED the Internet!)
[WEDNESDAY – 9/13]
I slept GREAT last night … for a
CHANGE! After a CASUAL morning of WALKIN’ around to TEST my special-RECOGNITION in the bathroom, PAIN-compensation for my LEFT-heel &
TEACHING my mom the DIFFERENCE between accuracy & precision, I
decided to RE-try the facilities of/at The
Cunning Kaynatma-‘Casa’ of Kickassedry.
(… à MY
house)
…
Alliteration aside. [AUDIBLE-sigh] The
Internet & cable are STILL OUT. (WHY?
‘Cuz Comcast is possibly—no,
PROBABLY—no, DEFINITELY--the WORST company for ANYTHING … in the WORLD … EVER!
… FYI: IF
you work-FOR said-company, then I’ll NEVER respect you.
-- So, I went HOME … to STAY. The power WORKS. (YAY!)
The A/C WORKS. (YAY!) … But, STILL, NO-Internet &
NO-television. ( :
( )
-- MAYBE I’m being
SELFISH.
… Who CARES?!
… A SERIOUSLY-debilitated Traumatic Brain Injury-victim—who’s STILL LIKELY smartER than ~87.42% of the
WORLD’s population … at MATH--NEEDS the Internet to TREAT the planet to his TACTFUL & INSIGHTFUL observations!
(… Yeah, I’m NEGATIVELY-mentioning my T.B.I. But, there’s a GARGANTUAN DIFFERENCE between using my ailment as an EXCUSE & as a
COUNTERPOINT!)
… DUNCE-like city of Davie, Florida,
if I were LIVING in The Sandlot, …
I’d be The Great Hambino &
DISapprovingly-GRUNT at YOU, Davie [Smalls]:
“You’re KILLIN’ me, Smalls!”
… OF The Sandlot-characters,
… I ‘d DEFINITELY-be:
Hamilton Porter for HUMOR,
Scotty Smalls for DEDICATION & INGENUITY,
Benny “the JET” Rodriguez for ATHLETICISM & BRAVERY
& Squints for ENDING with the BABE—Wendy Pfeffercorn.
(HEAVY AUDIBLE-sigh) So, my tech-WIZARD housemate pieced-TOGETHER
HIS Playstation to MY DVD-collection
for OUR viewing of … some old episodes of ‘Scorpion’!
… GOTTA go-for the
greatER-GOOD!
-- With SO-MUCH spare-time now, I notice so (TOO?) MANY oddities.
… E.g. I have mechanical-LIFTS
next-to BOTH my bed AND my bathtub, … NEITHER of which I’ve EVER used.
(… GREAT purchase with MY
money, MOM! … THAT was SARCASM,
ye of LITTLE faith!)
… I’m not sure WHY.
But, POST-accident I’ve LOST my once-STELLAR ability to FOCUS on
ONE item for an EXTENSIVE period.
(… MUST I—voluntarily—attend a CONCENTRATION Camp? … WHEN is
it NOT too-SOON for Holocaust-JOKES?!)
-- I YEARN-for the day, when I may TREAT the CURIOUS public by EXPOSING MYSELF—
specifically my insightful-MIND—to the EVER-so CURIOUS Public.
-- (1^2 x 3)/4 + 5 – 6 = -1/4
(… By the Order of
Operations … for POSITIVE, WHOLE numbers, THAT’s P.E.M.D.A.S.)
-- My MAIN-Nurse came over LATE to check on me. (… BLESS her heart!)
… I THINK that PSYCHOLOGICAL-factors
play an ALMOST-equally MAJOR-role as
MEDICINAL-stimulants in … biological-EXCRETIONS:
… Over the last two days, TECHNICALLY/according-to A.J.’s MEDICAL-pattern, I was DUE
for an Excretory-Explosion. So, one o’ my nurses fed me some bowel-stimulant
during ONE of my eight MEALS I ingested THERE. Yet, I had ENOUGH-difficulty explaining to my CaregiverS HOW to
maneuver the TIGHT-quarters of my MOM’s lavatorial-area
for ME to STAND & URINATE. I was-NOT willing to TRY-to … SIT on a NON-handicapped toilet … for a FECAL-christening.
(… Was THAT just UN-intentionally BLASPHEMIC?!)
… I have a FRAGILE,
arthritic LEFT-hip.
… Well, within ~18 hours of my return to MY Handicap-ACCESSIBLE
quarters, I’d hosted THREE SEPARATE Bowel-BONANZAS!
… ‘Tis better LATE
than NEVER, eh, Medicine?!
… NEUROPSYCHOSIS – 1 …
+ 1 … + 1, BIOCHEMICAL-MEDICATION – 0
[THURSDAY – 9/14]
I awoke … EARLY (at ~3:15 am … EST) … to EXCRETE some EXCESS bodily-WASTE.
… But, with STILL NO-Internet, I … WRITE … & design MORE self
DEFENSE techniques.
… I think ... no, I’ll DEFINITELY … invite MYSELF over to my mom’s place … to STEAL (SSSHHH!) some
Internet-time.
… THANKFULLY, she understands my FRUSTRATION.
(… She’s SYMpathetic … NOT EMpathetic. … ONLY-MATHEMATICALLY, she’s JUST-pathetic.)
(… She & I have a MUTUALLY-symbiotic relationship FULL-of TEACHING, LAUGHING, GOOD-natured RIBBING, RESPECT &
COURTESY.
-- Either TODAY or TOMORROW I’ll schedule an appointment at
my barber.
… NOT for a haircut, but to clean-up/trim my growing BEARD.
As I’ve NEVER sported a BEARD,
I am ADMITTEDLY-UNfamiliar with its PROPER-maintenance.
… ‘Por ejemplo’,
how can I NOT CONSTANTLY-EAT
these HAIRS?!
… I’ve sported a
WELL-kept goatee since COMPLETING high school.
(… FACIAL-hair was FORBIDDEN at my Catholic high school.)
… PERHAPS my T.B.I. SOMEHOW stimulated my HAIR-follicles … to make me more … HIRSUTE, as I’m
NOW … FREQUENTING the barbershop, GROWING a BEARD & … (SSSHHH!) SHAVING
[ONLY] my UPPER-arms.
(… Additionally, my T.B.I. sharpened my appeal for AESTHETICS. … Sooooo, AM I … more FEMININE?!)
… My amygdala’s
SCREAMING—whilst SAGGING his pants,
“Hellz-NAW!”
-- Ha ha HA! A small-VICTORY cometh MY way! … My MAIN-Nurse said that “It’s NOT selfish at-ALL for [ME] to
DESPERATELY-want [my] ONLY form of COMMUNICATION
& ENTERTAINMENT.”
(… So, c’mON, city of Davie! HELP a
brutha OUT!
-- I JUST-designed ANOTHER martial arts-technique.
(… I caN’T turn my
mind OFF!)
-- Upon REFLECTION, I WAS
(PRE-accident) an OVERALL-“DIAMOND in the ROUGH”(--‘Aladdin’).
NOW, my SINGULARITIES are more
FOCUSED in my MENTAL-realms.
… I’m CERTAINLY NOT-LIMITING myself! … I am merely INFORMING y’ALL that … NOW … I
am MOST-GIFTED … MENTALLY.
… This is NOTHING-AGAINST
MY parents! … I’m merely-stating that I
[HYPOTHETICALLY] look-FORWARD to the
day I REALIZE … that MY offspring is (ARE?) smartER than me.
(((… Kid—to me: “Dad, it’s ‘smarter than I!
C’mON! You’re BETTER than that!”
ME: “I KNOW you are.
But, what am I?!”
(OUT-pops my tongue.)
Kid: (SARCASTICALLY) “REAL-mature, Dad. … Dare I say … SOPHOMORIC?!”)))
-- THANK-GOODNESS my mom is so NICE!
… She’s ALLOWING me to come-over
& STEAL HER WiFi … for the afternoon.
(… Just to be NICE, I woN’T kick her dog. … UNLESS … it BITES me … AGAIN.
… My mom—to ME: “’IT’?!
HOW can you call her an ‘IT’?!”
My retort: “I RESPECT its PRIVACY. … IF ‘Oreo’ IS—indeed--a FEMALE—as you claim,
would you PREFER I refer to IT as a BITCH? … ‘Cuz that WOULD make IT a ‘FEMALE-dog’. … Am I wrong?
… Am I WRONG?!”
My mom: “No, son. Your reasoning is NOT-WRONG. … You’re JUST bein’
an ASSHOLE!”
… ME: … “And, … 31!”
… Ya see, WHILE she was so CONCERNED
about IT, I was yet-AGAIN rackin’ UP points
in cribbage.
-- ANYWAY, when I returned to MY HOUSE—FROM my MOM’s nearby apartment—at ~4:45 pm … BEFORE my dinner & shower, my television AND
Internet [FINALLY] WORKED again!
(… YAY!)
… Thus, I COULD … FINALLY &
COMFORTABLY & APPROPRIATELY ... sleep in my-OWN house!
