"On a lighter note",

...my weekday evening-staff person encourages me to raise--AND USE--my left arm more.  I oblige/"accept the invitation".  PAINLESS!  ("KNOCK ON WOOD!")

"HEY, they can't ALL be winners!

This morning, a NEW staff-member (The supervisor admitted to me that SHE doesn't even know who she is!)--FOR SOME REASON--dragged me along my left (BAD) (SEVERELY INJURED) shoulder, so I, NATURALLY, was VERY ANGRY.  (WHERE'S Donald Trump to tell her, "You're FIRED!"--'Apprentice'?!) Also, THAT STUPID STAFF MEMBER (I'D BET THAT SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT "ALLITERATION" IS!) SAID THAT SHE'D "WRITE (ME) UP" FOR MISBEHAVING.  HOW WAS I "MISBEHAVING"?!  ...BY KNOWING HOW TO DO HER JOB BETTER THAN SHE DOES?! WHAT HAPPENED TO "PATIENT SAFETY"?! WHAT HAPPENED TO BEING "LITERATE"?!  I KNOW MY MEDICAL FILE "SAYS" THAT I HAVE SOME "GEAR" IN MY LEFT SHOULDER! SO, "RESPECT MY AUTHORITAY!"(--Erik Cartman of 'South Park')

LADIES, AVERT YOUR EYES!

...If you're still reading THIS, then either you LACK 2 X-chromosomes or you CHOSE to IGNORE MY WARNING! Nonetheless, for 3 different nights this week, I've worn "BOXER SHORTS", NOT THIS "MEDICAL BRIEF", from ~ 5 PM to ~ 8 AM. THIS signifies that I'm getting CLOSER to being "SEMI-NORMAL"!  (WHAT'S "NORMAL"?!)

HARK!

Did I "mention" that--yesterday in Occupational Therapy--I practiced buttoning and unbuttoning? WOW!  THIS post has been the EXACT OPPOSITE of me--"KURT".

"MOVIN' ON UP! ..."

I HAD BEEN doing knee-lifts and leg-kicks with UP TO 7 lbs. strapped around my right ankle and UP TO 3 lbs. around my left ankle. But TODAY, I did said leg exercises with a 10-pound weight around my right ankle and a 5-pound weight around my left.  (Was THAT just an "elliptical clause?  JUDGES?)

...CLARIFICATION

[In my last post,] I was "saying" that my girlfriend told me that the doctors SERIOUSLY DOUBTED MY ABILITY TO RECOVER. So, my progress is like a REPEATED (FIGURATIVE) SLAP IN THEIR FACES. [edit by Grant]

I've noticed a reoccurring issue.

When I first got INJURED, the doctors told my family/friends that I'd "never FUNCTION again".  So, they earn my "EAT IT" as I CONSTANTLY "improve".

PHYSICAL THERAPY SUCCESS

NOT ONLY DID I INITIATE ~ 7 "SIT-TO-STANDS" WITHIN THE "PARALLEL BARS", but I also took some back-and-forth steps while I was standing. "Also also," I did 3 sets of 12 "leg-raises" and "leg-kicks"--WITH EACH LEG.  (Did I mention that 2.5 pound-weight was strapped around my LEFT ankle, and a 7.5-pound weight was strapped around my RIGHT?  YEAH, "THAT JUST HAPPENED!(--ME)

"GET OFF ME! CAN'T HOLD ME!"

I'm making GREAT PROGRESS in my Physical Therapy! NOT ONLY have I been taking steps in "the parallel bars", but TODAY, I "upped my ante" in ankle-weights for my leg-exercises.  I WAS at a 2-pound weight for my left leg and a 5-pound weight for my right leg.  (I've had THAT much weight against me for the last few days.) But, TODAY, TODAY, I okayed the increase to a 7-lb. weight around my right ankle and a 3-lb. weight around my left.

My Physical Therapy

I, AGAIN, took ACTUAL PHYSICAL STEPS while leaning on the "parallel bars". Then, I did 4 sets of 10 "sit-to-stand"s. THEN, I did some leg-kicks AND leg-raises with each leg.  (I had a 5-pound weight wrapped around my right ankle and a 2-pound weight around my left.)

"MY BAD!"

In my previous blog, I ERRONEOUSLY labeled a quote as from 'Groundhog Day'.  BUT, it's actually from 'What About Bob?'. (They're BOTH Bill Murray movies.)

"EAT IT", Richard Dreyfuss!

In Physical Therapy today, I INITIATED my standing--BETWEEN THE "PARALLEL BARS"--then took 3 sets of 10 LEFT-FOOTED (my "BAD" leg), BIG steps.  My Physical Therapist said, "WOW!"  (He said that I used to DRAG my foot.  Now, I ACTUALLY LIFT it! (Also, in the movie 'Groundhog Day', Richard Dreyfuss's character writes a book titled "Baby Steps'.  Apparently, I would no longer accurately depict THAT.)

"THAT was INCREDIBLE!"

...U.F.C. announcer Joe Rogan might as well have been in my Physical Therapy, because that's how my P.T. described my SOLO STANDING--AND STEPPING--today. (I TOOK 3 STEPS.)

A STEP CLOSER

...(LITERALLY) In Physical Therapy today, I took some ACTUAL steps--by way of leaning on "the parallel bars". Then, I sat down in my "chair"--WITH SOME ASSISTANCE--and did leg raises AND kicks.

"IT'S A CELEBRATION, BITCHES!"

--Dave Chappellle 1) It's Independence Day!  2) Ergo, my "therapy" ended early.  3) I pedaled on BOTH the "FOOT"-bike AND "HAND"-bike--NOT SIMULTANEOUSLY--today.  THAT'S coordination--AND strength!