Keep my body guessing.

Today I had my second of three WEEKLY "workouts". My trainer said that he's "DEFINITELY seeing a greater range of motion and strength in" (my) "left side".   YAY! So, my trainer recommended I try a new exercise on my "OFF-days": I park my wheelchair alongside/"parallel to" my parallel-bars.   My "assistant" will help me lift my LEFT arm up, so I can grab and hold a bar with my LEFT hand.    THEN, I--ALONE--drag my LEFT, INJURED hand ALONG a metal bar.   I push my LEFT arm as far forward as I can.  Then, I pull it as far BACK as I can.   THIS EXERCISE will--over time--increase my range-of-motion.   (I REALLY LIKE THIS NEW EXERCISE!)

MORE for the DOUBTERS"

... To ALL the NAYSAYERS who--INITIALLY--declared me a MEDICAL "lost cause", I mock you by quoting the KILLER in the movie, 'The Bone Collector': ""What kind of "vegetable" do you want to be? A carrot?!  ... No? How 'bout a zucchini?!"   ...  "LIFE's a game of chess. I ALWAYS win!"

Take THAT, doubters!

... (WARNING!  Do NOT read this, if you just ate:) I JUST sat over my toilet and excreted a plethora of fecal "WASTE"  ... INTO my toilet.   What makes my bowel-movement so EXCEPTIONAL was that I COULD SMELL IT!  (Granted, I couldn't tell EXACTLY "what the smell was"/"what I ate".  I could just tell that it REEKED!)   ... (The subject was my RETORT to the medical staff INITIALLY after my accident who said that I'd NEVER regain ANY of my senses and just be a "vegetable".)   PARDON ME ... for being a medical ANOMALY!  (Actually, I'm sorry I'm NOT sorry!)

INDEPENDENCE!

So, over the last few days, I've decided to "push it".  (By "it" I mean my "capability-level".)  So,  I'm laying (EXCUSE ME!  The "Grammar-Police" just corrected me and gave me a citation.  It's " ... LYING".)--LYING--in bed, and I've dropped too close to the end of my bed.  So, picture my feet practically sticking off the end of my bed.  Without any assistance, I use my little controller to RAISE the LOWER half of my bed, and make the UPPER half.  (THIS PROCESS allows GRAVITY to assist me in resolving said predicament.)  It's ALL angles!  ((Yeah, I took Trigonometry (study of angles) class my sophomore year of high school.))    Also, when I'm exiting a car, I PREFER to prepare to do my car-exit MYSELF.   First, I'll place my glasses and wipe-towel on the dashboard.  NEXT, I'll unbuckle my seatbelt with my better, stronger, UN-injured RIGHT hand.  THEN, I'll REALLY lean to my LEFT as I swing my legs/feet UP/OVER and OUT of the RIGHT side of the car.  (To my FELLOW Physics-NERDS, that would be "angular momentum".)  FINALLY, I patiently wait for my "escort" to put my wheelchair together.

INSPIRATIONAL words

"Momma always said that miracles happen everyday. A lot of people don't think so. But, they DO!" (--'Forrest Gump')   ...  "That's all I have to say about THAT."(--'Forrest Gump')

Consecutive Catastrophies

... "Alliteration aside." (ACTUALLY, it's the EXACT OPPOSITE of two straight unfortunate Physical Therapy sessions.  I just wanted to use that 'Dodgeball' quote.) I've "walked"--WITH my walker--at least SIX times (EACH TRIP included a U-turn.) in my lengthy living room.  ((I "walked" VERY WELL 12 (six times two + SIX U-turns) times across--lengthwise--my living room last time and 16 (eight times two + EIGHT U-turns) times this time.))  ... So, I demonstrated IMPROVEMENT. YAY!

"ONLY time will tell."

... Today's Physical Therapy session was VERY ENCOURAGING! I did some GREAT "walking"--WITH my walker--PAIN-FREE!   THAT gives me 'A New Hope' ('Star Wars' reference) that I'll ONE DAY walk again! Moral: YAY!

RELAX! I'm no longer GREEN.

... My Physical Therapist called off my session this morning and rescheduled for LATE this afternoon.  However, he was STILL ~34 minutes and 26.58 seconds (I approximated so much, because "People today have attention-spans that can only be measured in NANOseconds!"--'Baseketball') LATE!   Nonetheless, I was NOT happy about his truancy!  However, I used my unhappiness/disappointment as "FUEL" for my EVENTUAL Physical Therapy.  My Physical Therapist said: "THAT might have been THE BEST walking" he'd "seen" me do.   (The subject concerns "The Incredible Hulk".  He turns GREEN and BULKS UP when he gets VERY ANGRY.)  (Ladies, in my case, substitute an "N" in for the "L".) (Ergo, I'm the "Incredible HuNk".)

GREAT "Speech Therapy" session!

... I beat my "care-giver", 10-6 AND 10-1, in Connect Four, WHILE I spoon-fed MYSELF!

OVER-compensation BE DAMNED!

Almost every day, I do 20 squats along my shower-rail, before I shower.  (RELAX!  I'm CLOTHED during tis workout/activity!  T.M.I.?)  But, TODAY, "I took matters into my own hands."   I, consciously, deliberately, leaned MORE on my WEAKER, INJURED left leg during all 20 squats in an attempt to "combat" my INVOLUNTARY muscle-favoritism.   The exercise FELT helpful.  But, "only TIME will tell" if the leaning works.

"If--at first--you don't succeed, TRY, try again."

After some rather SUB-par attempts at "walking"--WITH my walker--last week, I "responded" by "sucking it up" and "walking" A LOT better today.  ALL of my "walking"-trials--six--included a U-turn.  (One "trial" even had TWO U-turns--which I had NEVER done before.    (Scorekeeper? A.J.--1 Injury--0)

"Break it down."

... ((OOPS!  Grammatically, it is frowned upon to conclude a sentence with a preposition, and I just did ("down"))   By adhering to the subject, I VERBALLY, AUDIBLY said the word, "particular". ((I said (spelled PHONETICALLY), "PAR-tick-YOU-lahr".)) So, if my audience is PATIENT, I'm getting more cogent.   YAY!

""What's the opposite of "SUCK"?""

... ""DE-suck"?  "UN-suck"?""(--''Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations'') While y'all ponder THAT QUESTION, enjoy THIS:  I've been doing SO WELL in my workouts that my personal trainer HAPPILY agreed to INCREASE my exercise-sessions from two to THREE times per week.   (Granted, THIS SCHEDULE-CHANGE will come into effect POST-Thanksgiving-week.)

"differentiation"

... No, I'm NOT using the subject-term in a mathematical sense (Although, I COULD.).   When I brush my teeth, I've noticed that I'm able to--SUBCONSCIOUSLY--separate my EXCESS saliva from my toothpaste.  THANKFULLY!  The fact that I don't even have to "THINK ABOUT"/"CONCENTRATE ON" this process is quite the relief!  I have ENOUGH "ISSUES" about which to worry!   Plus, I HAVE A BRAIN-INJURY!    ((NOW, I have to get back to "deriving some Calculus problems" ("differentiation").))