I'm gettin' there.

So, yesterday in my Physical Therapy, I ACTUALLY WALKED around my den--with a "hemi-walker" (I THINK THAT'S the name.) ((IT'S like a HALF-WALKER--hence the name.  (HEMI=HALF))   I had two "spotters" who stood on either side of me in case I had any "trouble".

Again, "MY BAD!"

... Without checking, I THINK it's "DIhydrogen MONoxide". (Your line would be: "A.J., DROP IT!"  "THIS is CHRISTMAS!  The season of perpetual HOPE!"--'Home Alone')

YET ANOTHER ERROR

... If my Latin understanding is correct, IT'S "DIhydrogen MONOxide" (H2O) for water.

... ACTUALLY,

... I was using the direct Latin translation. On the contrary, WATER = hydrogen dioxide. (I took SPANISH in high school NOT Latin.)

ACTUAL progress

I'm back to "reporting" about my progress after some TERRIBLE distractions. UNFORTUNATELY, because of a distraction, I'm "A DAY LATE (and a dollar short)" on wishing my viewers a HAPPY "FESTIVUS"(--'Seinfeld')!  (If you don't know what THAT is, then "NO SOUP FOR YOU!"--Soup Nazi, 'Seinfeld') I've been doing A LOT--physically!  Two days ago, I took some ACTUAL physical steps--ALMOST WALKING--along my parallel bars.  Today, I went in my pool, and the water REALLY assisted my movement!  PLUS, my pool is saltwater, so the NaCl (chemical formula of salt) in the dihydrogen oxide (chemical name for WATER) creates better buoyancy.  So, I could ACTUALLY STAND--for the first time in OVER 3 YEARS! Things are looking better for me ...

RELAX! I'M STILL ALIVE!

... There has just been a delay in my blogging.  Here's why: 1) I'm STILL getting acclimated to my WONDERFUL new house. 2) I've been REALLY PERTURBED about the fact that some JERK of a patient at my last facility--His father SOMEHOW got my e-mail address.  (THANKS A LOT, WASTE-OF-MY-MONEY "NEUROLOGICAL INSTITUTE"!) Yeah, THAT piece of CRAP e-mailed me! 3) I've been BUSY--w/ "therapy", visitors, house-construction, etc.! MORE when I'm in a better mood ...

"THAT'S what SHE said!"

... --Michael Scott (played by actor Steve Corell) of 'The Office Seriously though, my "nurse" ((the lady who "feeds" (pours nutritional liquids down my "G-tube", which is attached to stomach because I have difficulty SAFELY swallowing) me 3 times per day)) JUST remarked that I "absorb the stuff VERY WELL and QUICKLY".  I'm going to "pick up the penalty-flag" for THAT being a possible OBESE joke, because I know my personal FITness.  Apparently, she said that MANY of her other patients have "A LOT of problems" with their respective G-tube(s?).  WHAT CAN I SAY?!  I'm ODD.

PROGRESS

To keep my readers "abreast" (CALM DOWN, PERVERTED READERS!  I'M A NON-OBESE MALE!): I've been using my "walker"--with a hand-grasper--to walk ~ (approximately) 30 feet--WITH TURNS--around my house. I've been ACTUALLY writing some notes and math answers ... ON PAPER! My Speech "Therapist"--"under my" girlfriend's WATCHFUL "eyes"--fed me. ...

I'M STILL "TALKING"!

Although I am home now, I still maintain some e-mail contact with some people at my last facility.  I like to "bother" select people with random trivia questions--usually sports-related.  (After a few questions, one employee told me that she CHEATS by checking Google.  So, I OUTLAWED IT.) (Their recent PATHETIC trivia-record indicates that they're ADHERING to my RULE, AND EVIDENTLY,  MAYBE I'm just THAT knowledgeable ... about RANDOM "CRAP".)

'30 Rock'

(See subject) ACTUALLY just "jogged my memory" that 'kumite' means 'sparring'.  (The television show did not say the meaning.  It JUST said the Japanese word.  HOPEFULLY, I'm correct about the translation!)

ACTUAL memory test

In the show/movie/comic strip 'Transformers', it's a battle between the "Autobots" (GOOD GUYS) and the "Decepticons" (BAD GUYS). The leader of the "Autobots" is "Optimus Prime", and "Megatron" leads the "Decepticons". I HOPE I'M RIGHT! [He is correct. - Grant]

Who sings THIS?!:

...(WARNING: NOT for those who are gastronomically weak:) (PARDON MY "LANGUAGE".) "I KNOW YOU LIKE TO THINK YO' SHIT DON'T STINK. BUT, LEAN A LITTLE BIT CLOSER, AND YOU'LL SEE THAT ROSES REALLY SMELL LIKE, "POO POO POOOO"!"" (I JUST "heard Mother Nature call".  (= I felt the "urge" to poop.) So, I "asked" my g/f to sit me [on the] toilet.  Well, she did.  So, I "excreted fecal matter" ("pooped") in my "porcelain throne"--"toilet". (THIS is a BIG--FIGURATIVE--"STEP" for me.) [edit by Grant]

Meet The DUDE

This blog has served as an outlet for AJ during his time at FINR, but his time at FINR has come to an end. It is appropriate, then, that the blog title "AJ at FINR" be retired and replaced. AJ has selected a new title (which will surprise no one) that honors his philosophy of dedication, his persistence, and his love of movies and humor.


"The DUDE Abides"


AJ is moving on to a brighter and more prosperous future. His blog is moving with him. I hope you, too, will abide.


- Grant

'ADIOS, MUCHACHOS'

So, my mom and my g/f JUST packed up ALL my stuff--in my room-- for my departure from THIS facility. So, 'A REVWA!'  (The spelling may be incorrect, because IT's a foreign language...that I DON'T SOMEWHAT speak.) (F.Y.I.: I comprehend English, Turkish, Spanish, SOME Latin, etc.)

Just to CONFIRM

...my HETEROsexuality: My GIRLfriend: "She's got a real, REAL pretty face!"  (i've considered taking her to get some "GLAMOR-SHOTS".) (THOSE two quotes are from 'Napoleon Dynamite'.) I apologize that I don't have much to report.  But, I HAVE noticed that my leg AND hand movements are improving!  (I've been shifting my legs onto/off the bed after/before transports.) (I brush MY OWN teeth AT LEAST 2 OUT OF 3 TIMES PER DAY) ((THAT'S 66.6 (repeating) %)).

SOME Physical Therapy:

...I did various leg exercises--leg-lifts, kicks, "marching"--WITH  5-pound weight strapped around my left ankle and 15 ponds around my right ankle. I did THESE exercises so quickly that I spent the last ~10 minutes pedaling on the FOOT-bike.

MEMORY

Maybe it's just because I'm so familiar with the highway-area near my PREVIOUS home/abode, but I KNOW the north/south exits in my AREA. GO AHEAD...TEST ME!

CONVERSIONS

((THESE are ALL from "my memory"--which was GREATLY diminished by my accident (UNFORTUNATELY)--so I can't vouch for their accuracy.)) 1 mile ~ 1.8 kilometers 1 kilogram ~ 2.2 pounds 1 meter ~ 39.1 inches 1 inch ~ 2.3 centimeters 1 yard = 3 feet = 36 inches ...

"Baby Steps"

--book written by Dr. Leo Marvin (played by actor, Richard Dreyfuss, in the movie, 'What About Bob?') My Physical Therapy has been going VERY WELL!  I've been using the parallel bars to guide me as I've been--with minimal help from my Therapist--"walking" ~6 feet...~3 times per week.  Also, I've been doing leg-strength exercises.  I've been doing CONTROLLED kicks--with a 5-pound weight strapped around my left ankle and either a 12- or 15-pound weight (I forgot.) around my right...(elliptical clause)

"I'm DOIN' the WORK! I'm NOT a SLACKER! PLEASE!"

(--either 'Groundhog Day' or 'What About Bob?') MENTAL MATH (to stimulate memory): 1(squared) + 2(squared) + 3(squared) + 4(squared) + 5(squared) + 6(squared) + 7(squared) = 1 + 4 + 9 + 16 + 25 + 36 + 49 = 140

APPARENTLY,

...there's a difference between being a "BIOMEDICAL ENGINEER"--which I am--and being an actual doctor.  (THAT'S "NEWS TO ME!") (Staff wouldn't let me switch my "Gastric-tuba" myself.) But, the ACTUAL doctor conducted the procedure very well!  (LADIES, EXCUSE MY IMAGERY!) He just yanked out my tube very quickly.  I LEAKED MORE BLOOD from my lower abdominal-area than I HAD PAIN.  (Gentlemen, I guess that it was like "MENSTRUATING".)

INSPIRING WORDS

"I AM THE GATEKEEPER OF(OR IS IT "FOR"?) MY OWN DESTINY!"--'Nacho Libre' (I wrestled too, like "Nacho".  But, it was "amateur", REAL wrestling.  Also, I'm NOT obese, like  "Nacho".)

Also today,

...I did leg-kicks and knee-raises--WITH a 5 pound weight strapped around my left ankle and a 12 pound weight around my right ankle  I did 4 sets of ten repetitions with each leg--NON-SIMULTANEOUSLY.

[I don't know exactly why AJ emphasizes "non-simultaneously," but here is something worth noting. AJ's left leg used to respond to him better when he tried to move both legs instead of simply the left alone. This has to do with how our muscles communicate. It was easier to compel the weaker leg to work if the stronger one were working alongside it as a model. That AJ is now moving the left leg (so well and with so much weight on it) without also moving the right leg at the same time ("non-simultaneously" as he puts it) is confirmation that a huge amount of progress has been made in that leg. It is also very necessary for walking that each leg be capable of behavior different from the other leg. - Grant]

In Physical Therapy today,

...I did some "sit-to-stand"s: 20 in 2 minutes (THAT'S an average of 1 every 6 seconds.) then, 25 in 90 seconds (THAT'S an average of 1 every 3.6 seconds.) then, 22 in 90 seconds (THAT'S an average of 1 every ~4.09 seconds.) (THIS is how I think--quantitatively.)

brain exercise:

http://health.yahoo.net/experts/drmao/easy-exercises-keep-your-brain-shape  1) I do MENTAL MATH!  ("Brain injury, WHAT?!"--me) (SSSHHH!) 2) My accident SEVERELY INJURED my "left" ("less dominant") hand. (I'll "make do".)

ANOTHER BREAKTHROUGH!

So, (Stop reading, LADIES!) to prepare for my shower, I--from my wheelchair--took my shirt COMPLETELY OFF--WITHOUT ANY ASSISTANCE!

HHHMMM, maybe I DO have a "brain injury"?!

...I forgot to "tell" "y'all" about these PHENOMENAL (LITERAL) STEPS! Yesterday in Physical Therapy, I WALKED--with "MINIMAL" physical support--down the length of the "parallel bars (~12 ft. = 144 inches = 4 yards)! Oh yeah!  I did THAT  TWICE!

MORE LEG STRENGTH/PROGRESS

In Physical Therapy today, I leaned on the "parallel bars" to help me take back-and-forth steps.  Also, I did several "sit-to-stands". Furthermore, I did leg-kicks" and "knee-raises" AND "marching" with BOTH LEGS--NOT SIMULTANEOUSLY.  I did THESE EXERCISES WITH A 5 LB. WEIGHT AROUND MY LEFT ("BAD") (WEAKER) ANKLE AND A 10 LB. WEIGHT AROUND MY RIGHT ANKLE. I can REALLY see IMPROVEMENT in my left-leg (It's REALLY the ENTIRE SIDE.) movement.  So, YAY!

MORE PROGRESS!

Today, during "class"--YEAH, despite having a "brain injury", I "TEACH"--I "told" the co-teacher that I could SMELL the air freshener that she had just sprayed. THIS IS PHENOMENAL, because for the past OVER 3 YEARS, I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO SMELL!

"On a lighter note",

...my weekday evening-staff person encourages me to raise--AND USE--my left arm more.  I oblige/"accept the invitation".  PAINLESS!  ("KNOCK ON WOOD!")

"HEY, they can't ALL be winners!

This morning, a NEW staff-member (The supervisor admitted to me that SHE doesn't even know who she is!)--FOR SOME REASON--dragged me along my left (BAD) (SEVERELY INJURED) shoulder, so I, NATURALLY, was VERY ANGRY.  (WHERE'S Donald Trump to tell her, "You're FIRED!"--'Apprentice'?!) Also, THAT STUPID STAFF MEMBER (I'D BET THAT SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT "ALLITERATION" IS!) SAID THAT SHE'D "WRITE (ME) UP" FOR MISBEHAVING.  HOW WAS I "MISBEHAVING"?!  ...BY KNOWING HOW TO DO HER JOB BETTER THAN SHE DOES?! WHAT HAPPENED TO "PATIENT SAFETY"?! WHAT HAPPENED TO BEING "LITERATE"?!  I KNOW MY MEDICAL FILE "SAYS" THAT I HAVE SOME "GEAR" IN MY LEFT SHOULDER! SO, "RESPECT MY AUTHORITAY!"(--Erik Cartman of 'South Park')

LADIES, AVERT YOUR EYES!

...If you're still reading THIS, then either you LACK 2 X-chromosomes or you CHOSE to IGNORE MY WARNING! Nonetheless, for 3 different nights this week, I've worn "BOXER SHORTS", NOT THIS "MEDICAL BRIEF", from ~ 5 PM to ~ 8 AM. THIS signifies that I'm getting CLOSER to being "SEMI-NORMAL"!  (WHAT'S "NORMAL"?!)

HARK!

Did I "mention" that--yesterday in Occupational Therapy--I practiced buttoning and unbuttoning? WOW!  THIS post has been the EXACT OPPOSITE of me--"KURT".

"MOVIN' ON UP! ..."

I HAD BEEN doing knee-lifts and leg-kicks with UP TO 7 lbs. strapped around my right ankle and UP TO 3 lbs. around my left ankle. But TODAY, I did said leg exercises with a 10-pound weight around my right ankle and a 5-pound weight around my left.  (Was THAT just an "elliptical clause?  JUDGES?)

...CLARIFICATION

[In my last post,] I was "saying" that my girlfriend told me that the doctors SERIOUSLY DOUBTED MY ABILITY TO RECOVER. So, my progress is like a REPEATED (FIGURATIVE) SLAP IN THEIR FACES. [edit by Grant]

I've noticed a reoccurring issue.

When I first got INJURED, the doctors told my family/friends that I'd "never FUNCTION again".  So, they earn my "EAT IT" as I CONSTANTLY "improve".

PHYSICAL THERAPY SUCCESS

NOT ONLY DID I INITIATE ~ 7 "SIT-TO-STANDS" WITHIN THE "PARALLEL BARS", but I also took some back-and-forth steps while I was standing. "Also also," I did 3 sets of 12 "leg-raises" and "leg-kicks"--WITH EACH LEG.  (Did I mention that 2.5 pound-weight was strapped around my LEFT ankle, and a 7.5-pound weight was strapped around my RIGHT?  YEAH, "THAT JUST HAPPENED!(--ME)

"GET OFF ME! CAN'T HOLD ME!"

I'm making GREAT PROGRESS in my Physical Therapy! NOT ONLY have I been taking steps in "the parallel bars", but TODAY, I "upped my ante" in ankle-weights for my leg-exercises.  I WAS at a 2-pound weight for my left leg and a 5-pound weight for my right leg.  (I've had THAT much weight against me for the last few days.) But, TODAY, TODAY, I okayed the increase to a 7-lb. weight around my right ankle and a 3-lb. weight around my left.

My Physical Therapy

I, AGAIN, took ACTUAL PHYSICAL STEPS while leaning on the "parallel bars". Then, I did 4 sets of 10 "sit-to-stand"s. THEN, I did some leg-kicks AND leg-raises with each leg.  (I had a 5-pound weight wrapped around my right ankle and a 2-pound weight around my left.)

"MY BAD!"

In my previous blog, I ERRONEOUSLY labeled a quote as from 'Groundhog Day'.  BUT, it's actually from 'What About Bob?'. (They're BOTH Bill Murray movies.)

"EAT IT", Richard Dreyfuss!

In Physical Therapy today, I INITIATED my standing--BETWEEN THE "PARALLEL BARS"--then took 3 sets of 10 LEFT-FOOTED (my "BAD" leg), BIG steps.  My Physical Therapist said, "WOW!"  (He said that I used to DRAG my foot.  Now, I ACTUALLY LIFT it! (Also, in the movie 'Groundhog Day', Richard Dreyfuss's character writes a book titled "Baby Steps'.  Apparently, I would no longer accurately depict THAT.)

"THAT was INCREDIBLE!"

...U.F.C. announcer Joe Rogan might as well have been in my Physical Therapy, because that's how my P.T. described my SOLO STANDING--AND STEPPING--today. (I TOOK 3 STEPS.)

A STEP CLOSER

...(LITERALLY) In Physical Therapy today, I took some ACTUAL steps--by way of leaning on "the parallel bars". Then, I sat down in my "chair"--WITH SOME ASSISTANCE--and did leg raises AND kicks.

"IT'S A CELEBRATION, BITCHES!"

--Dave Chappellle 1) It's Independence Day!  2) Ergo, my "therapy" ended early.  3) I pedaled on BOTH the "FOOT"-bike AND "HAND"-bike--NOT SIMULTANEOUSLY--today.  THAT'S coordination--AND strength!

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"

...--Michael Scott, 'The Office' My Physical Therapist has been stretching my legs AND been having me do leg MOVEMENT exercises.  She was "VERY IMPRESSED" with my LEFT LEG moving ability! HEY!  I'M TRYIN'!

"It's ALL GOOD!"

My evening staff-person, my Physical Therapist and my Occupational Therapist ALL told me--SEPARATELY--that they've noticed that I'm "improving".  YAY!

"MY BAD!"

I apologize to my "readers"/"viewers" for my SLIGHT hiatus.  I've just been distracted by other "patients"' LACK of effort, and I've wanted to "VENT".  But then, I realize that THIS BLOG is about MY PROGRESS, NOT their LACK THEREOF! I've used my "SPIDER-SENSE"(--Spiderman) to detect that I have a greater degree of PAINLESS LEFT-SHOULDER/ARM MOVEMENT!  (To be continued on whether I can shoot spider-webs from my wrists...)

"BRAIN INJIRY, WHAT?!"

So, I just pedalled on the "FOOT-bike".  For awhile today, my "high" (output) was 57 rpm (57 revolutions-per-minute = 0.95 complete wheel turns per second).  THEN, I "kicked" it up a notch to 63 rpm.  (THAT = 1.05 complete wheel turns per second.) Hand-held calculators require SO MUCH WORK!  So, I just rely on my brain. (Ergo, I did those calculations MENTALLY.)

SELF-ANALYSIS:

Outside of my memory-loss and decreased patience, I feel that my injuries are ALMOST ALL physical.  For example, I have "tone" ("slight lack of control") along my left side.  But other than a previous BOTCHED surgery on my right forearm, my right side works FAIRLY WELL. It seems to think: "COMPENSATE!" (WOW!  DO I HAVE 2 BRAINS?!)

CORRECTION!

I might have made a TYPO in my last blog. "57 rpm =" 0.95 COMPLETE 360 degree turns per second (I didn't want to falsify information for my "audience".)

I AM LANCE

...ARMSTRONG--NOT BASS!!!  (MINUS the whole testicular cancer thing)   Today in Physical Therapy, I pedalled on the "FOOT-bike"".  My pedalling maximum was 57 rpm (revolutions per minute).  THAT'S 95% of a COMPLETE wheel-turn EVERY SECOND.  ((] JUST PUSHED UP MY GLASSES.)   THAT'S ALL FOR NOW.  (I'VE GOTTA "FIX" MY GLASSES ON MY FACE!)

NOTICED IMPROVEMENT

I "told" my Occupational Therapist recently that I've (See subject.) in the GREATER PAINLESS MOVEMENT that I have with my left arm.  He concurred. THIS IS HUGE!  ("THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID."--Michael Scott, 'The Office')

"BRAIN INJURY, WHAT?!", Part II

So, the staff weighed me--in my chair--and the scale displayed some WEIRD number.  I, then, pressed a button--for which staff YELLED at me, "WHY'D YOU DO THAT?!" Am I THE ONLY PERSON HERE who knows the "conversion"--2.2 pounds ~ 1 kilogram?

"BRAIN INJURY, WHAT?!"

I JUST beat my assistant Occupational Therapist--a former "Mathematics" major--at Connect 4--TWICE...WITH NO DEFEATS!  He disgustedly remarked, "HOW DO YOU PLAN THAT FAR AHEAD?!" (I JUST finished a sentence with a preposition.  CAN I DO THAT?!) (REGARDLESS!  I was just quoting him!)

When I am healthy enough

...to WALK out of here, I'll quote 'Chapelle's Show': "IT'S A CELEBRATION, BITCHES!"

"I PITY THE FOOL!"

--Mr. T Some patients here complain about rehabilitation, despite their having the ability--NE'ER SAY, the PRIVILEGE--to PAINLESSLY AND INDIVIDUALLY "WALK". Although they may be physically ahead of me, I have the UTMOST CONFIDENCE in stating that I AM THE "NEUROLOGICAL" CHAMPION! (AM I BRAGGING?!) (OH WELL!)

noticed improvement

I HAVE NOTICED greater movement in my left leg AND left arm.  I can tolerate--EVEN PREFER--to roll along my left shoulder.  (THIS allows me to hold onto the bed rail with my stronger right hand.)

ENCOURAGEMENT

Just a few minutes ago, a staff member was doing some kind of "reflex test" on me.  During said test, she exclaimed, "WOW!  You lifted your left leg (my BAD one) up higher than your right!"  (I don't think she realized it, but THAT'S an elliptical clause.) (I JUST SERIOUSLY PUSHED UP MY GLASSES!)

Is it (SLIGHTLY) "SAD"?!

Movie qotes are a GREAT sign that my accident didn't COMPLETELY ERASE my memory. I.e.   ."CHIM-CHIMINEE-CHIM-CHIM-CHY-ROO, HOO!" THAT'S from 'Ace Ventura: Pet Detective'.   (I DIDN'T LOOK IT UP!)

THIS IS HUGE!

..."THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"--'The Office' Joking aside--THIS is a bit personal--, but I JUST "asked" staff to sit me on my "porcelain throne".  So, while there, I BOTH secreted urine AND excreted fecal matter!

"THAT JUST HAPPENED!"--ME

So, my Occupational Therapist just came to my room and asked me to try putting on a shirt.  So, I put on a tee-shirt--over my current shirt--with VERY LITTLE assistance then took it off.  I repeated this procedure 'sans' undershirt.  (RELAX, LADIES!)

I'm ROLLIN'!

In physical therapy just now, I rolled from the "on-my-back" position to "prone" twice in each direction.  THIS IS HUGE!  ("THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"--Michael Scott, 'The Office') I also lied (NOT laid) on my stomach and played Connect 4.  (I won both games, but THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT!) "I'm talking about FORM!  I'm talking about FUNCTION!  GOD--THE DEVIL--HELL and HEAVEN!"--'One Flew Over the Coocoo's Nest'

MORE PROGRESS

Today, I demonstrated--by "going through the motions"--(to completion) (INCLUDING squeezing the toothpaste--that I can brush my teeth.  Oh yeah!  THIS was my "Occupational Therapy" today.

A STEP BACKWARDS

...UNFORTUNATELY! This morning a new staff girl woke me up and tried to put me in my chair--AROUND 5 A.M.!  I resisted, so she tried rolling me onto my BAD, INJURED shoulder and dragging me in my bed.  IS SHE ILLITERATE?!  My "file" says that my left shoulder is SEVERELY injured.  THAT HURT!

I'M GETTIN' THERE!

In P.T. just now, I practiced INITIATING--AND COMPLETING--my rolling--from my back.  After rolling, I would then maintain my balance--lying on my side--each time for ~ 30 seconds.

I'VE ALREADY BEEN IN 1 CAR ACCIDENT!

The staff here always laughs, because EVERY TIME I "pull up" to an intersection--4-way (HERE), I STOP, LOOK LEFT, RIGHT, THEN LEFT AGAIN, THEN "DRIVE.  (I CONSIDER MY MOTORIZED WHEELCHAIR A "VEHICLE".) So, I'm just abiding by the "RULES OF THE ROAD".  (Was THAT from 'Rocko's Modern Life'?)

PARDON MY TRUANCY!

I STILL MADE IT IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAY! So, I HELP with my scrubbing while I'm in my shower.  (THAT was a TAD personal, but it's a "step in the right direction.) MORE AT A LATER DATE ...

THIS IS KINDA "PRIVATE"!

(LITERALLY)
(I have been doing THIS a lot recently, [but] just tonight I actually did the deed IN MY CHAIR!) I SUCCESSFULLY used--WHILE HOLDING--my urinal.

[edit by Grant]

"Catch-22"

(In other words...) "(Do) you know what really BURNS my cookies?!" (I apologize to the NON-chef readers.) "(Do) you know what REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS?!"--'Family Guy'

Well, it upsets me that STAFF don't seem to understand that steering my NEW wheelchair takes time! Although, I DO LIKE my new chair. (I "named" it, "MISS INDEPENDENT"--like the song.)

MOTIVATION

I ACTUALLY look forward to "working"/rehabbing in "therapy", because A LOT of the other PATIENTS cause 'MUCHOS PROBLEMOS'! This staff doesn't even close my door, so I have to try to sleep to screaming!
UNLIKE MANY others, I have the wherewithal to understand that I am injured, and I NEED TO get better!

COUNTING BLESSINGS

"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us."--Minnesota Twins Hall of Famer Kirby Puckett

NO, I'M NOT DEAD!

I've JUST been experiencing some technical difficulties lately. (Hence, the delay.)
I GET my new MANUAL wheelchair on Friday (6 days). (I asked for staff to still accompany me--IN CASE I have any problems.

MORE LATER...

venting

I don't want to sound acrimonious or anti-social, because THAT just wouldn't be "I" (NOT "me") (It's a predicate nominative.) (Actually, after pausing, it's "me") (Isn't it?!?).
But, I don't like this one particular patient who--about two weeks ago--walked up to MY bed, in MY room--at night--and ANGRILY asked me, "Why the hell are you in my bed?!" I didn't LOWER myself to his mental level by answering him. (POSSIBLE interpretation: anti-social) Staff quickly removed him.
I don't wanna dwell on this, 'cuz it just brings up bad memories. So, I'll describe my progress in greater detail next time.

UNFORTUNATELY, ...

...NO "BOOZEDAY TUESDAY"! (I don't wanna get my license revoked.)
But, FORTUNATELY, I'm SUPPOSED to receive my MANUAL, ELECTRONIC wheelchair next Tuesday. (I've already named it "MISS INDEPENDENT!")

WOE IS ME!!!

I asked my friend for his input regarding my blog posts. He gave me a "PRO-CON-PRO sandwich". NOW, I'M HUNGRY!!! (Even though, TECHNICALLY, I just "ate".)

Minnesota Twins fans are SO SMART!

One fan posted:
""There are only two things that are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein

By the transitive property, since I'm a Twins fan, w-h-a-t w-o-u-l-d b-e a-n e-a-s-y w-a-y t-o d-e-m-o-n-s-t-r-a-t-e t-h-a-t I (generally) u-n-d-e-r-s-t-a-n-d h-o-w t-h-e u-n-i-v-e-r-s-e w-o-r-k-s?!

PAY ATTENTION!

Some time this week my Occupational Therapist is gonna give me a malleable (bendable), long brush so I can--INDIVIDUALLY--scrub my back in the shower.
THIS IS HUGE! "THAT'S what she said!"--Michael Scott, 'The Office'

AIN'T NO THANG!

I JUST checked my night time supervisor's math work. She got 3 wrong out of 25 answers. That's a grand total of--
88%

(I told her.)

NEUROLOGICAL INJURY WHAT?!?
(It's mostly physical.)

I'm talking about MY SAFETY!!!

If I were to grade the staff on how they take care of me: (Names are deliberately omitted to maintain confidentiality.)

A) exemplary; commendable
2) tolerable
C) sub-par
4) REALLY SUCKY

They handle MY SAFETY/WELL-BEING, so I SHOULD be able to "put in my 2 cents!

""E.T. phone "HOME""

No, I'm NOT dead! I haven't blogged in awhile, simply because I haven't had much to (figuratively) write about. (Can I end a sentence with a preposition?) (Well, I JUST did.) (So, EAT IT!!!)
PROPS to the "therapists" here! They, very professionally, deal with not-so courteous patients AND visitors. I COULDN'T HANDLE IT!