…
I JUST hosted a SMALL "par-TAY" with my housemate.
We had ~six guests.
We TALKED. shared STORIES, ordered PIZZA & played assorted GAMES 'til ~1:15 am.
"GOOD times were had by ALL."
I TRIED TO "break-FREE" at ~11:50 pm to "blog-POST", but I decided that SUCH a move would be OVERLY "FROWNED-UPON".
(Ergo, MORE will come.)
...
Sunday, May 10, 2015
Friday, May 8, 2015
BUSY/EVENTFUL day of RECOVERY
…
-- I arose rather EARLY--even earli-ER than USUAL (4:44 am) (… YES, I PLANNED that. I can DO that. … It MAY be my SIXTH … or even my SEVENTH sense: "TIMELY a-RISING from SSSLUMBERS".)
… QUESTION: WHY did I wake-up at such an "UNGODLY-hour"?!
ANSWER: "Nature called … '#1'." So, I buzzed for my caregiver/"SPOTTER" … to TRAIL me, as I "WALKED" to my toilet to "RELIEVE myself" … via urine.
-- DAG-NABBIT!
I--FRUSTRATINGLY--yelled, "GO, Go, Gadget-ARM'--a la 'Inspector Gadget' in a DESPERATE attempt to REACH an ITCH in/on the MIDDLE of the "SMALL-of-my-back".
UN-fortunately, I am not THAT similar to 'Iron Man'.
((… AUDIBLE SIGH) I GUESS I'll just "chalk it up" to YET ANOTHER "trial for my ability to IGNORE".)
… "DAG-NABBIT!", Part II
APPARENTLY, I'm STILL … TIRED!
I--REPEATEDLY--YAWN!
My eyelids feel … VERY "HEAVY"
… NONETHELESS/REGARDLESS, I just "SUCK … it … UP", 'cuz …
THAT's just what I DO!
… I'm NOT gonna LIE:
It certainly "BOOSTED my ENERGY", when my housemate came into my room--PRE-work--to "SHARE some CHUCKLES".
(… "'LAUGHTER' is the BEST 'medicine'." … "HUMOR" serves as an "OPTIMAL-/IDEAL-/EXEMPLARY-energy PRODUCER/BUILDER" … for ME.)
(… It's a "PSYCHOSOMATIC-thing".)
(… Read: "It's 'over MY head.")
-- I check the SPORTS-scores & -stats--as I do EVERY morning, 'cuz I am a "SPORTS-NUT"/-FANATIC"!
(… ME: "ANALYZING statistics" RELAXES me.
"WHY … you WEIRDO?" y'ALL RUDELY ask.
MY reply … AFTER I wipe-away my tears:
"1) I KNOW you ARE, but WHAT am I?
2) It TAKES one to KNOW one.
3) 'To EACH his OWN', … dip-shit."
-- "(PROPER) COMMUNICATION is KEY."
((… THIS would ENSURE a MUTUAL-UNDERSTANDING, … which is even MORE IMPORTANT/NECESSARY to (MY) LIFE.))
… UN-fortunately, I feel as if I am OFTEN MIS-understood, … 'cuz of my NECESSARY "letter-board". Yes, I DO tend to EXAGGERATE my ANGER/FRUSTRATION with some RATHER WILD/FLAILING movements. But, that's ONLY 'cuz "next to NO ONE" seems to be able to "READ & PROCESS".
(SIGH)
… 'Por ejemplo', this morning I needed my T-shirt turned-AROUND, 'cuz my caregiver anded it to me BACKWARDS. So, after ABSENT-MINDEDLY putting-ON the BACKWARDS-shirt, I SIGNALED that I NEEDED some assistance by
pointing to the shirt-tag on my upper-CHEST … NOT BACK.
(… After this pointing did NOT work THREE DIFFERENT times,
I SIGHED & REMOVED the shirt.)
-- By the time my SPEECH-Therapist arrives for my "session" (at ~1:30 pm), I've already "WALKED" 'a mi banyo …'CINCO tiempas'.
(… My INTERNAL-monologue: "When in DOUBT, 'WALK'. 'Tis better to be SAFE, than 'tis to be SORRY.'")
-- 'Twas a VERY ENCOURAGING session of Speech-therapy.
I ATE--via MOUTH--TWO scrambled eggs.
(… I had--PREVIOUSLY--USUALLY eaten ONE egg. But, my SPEECH-Therapist actually APPROVED OF & quietly-CHEERED my "GUTSY"-DECISION to eat TWO eggs.)
-- I had an "ON-again, OFF-again" workout @ "NeuroFit 360".
I EXCELLED at this NEW exercise this "worked"/stressed my "TRUNK-control/-flexibility".
CONVERSELY, I STRUGGLED to "explain"--'SANS' letterboard--that I was having TROUBLE keeping my LEFT ankle from "ROLLING".
(… THIS ankle-rolling was causing PAIN & my "AVOIDANCE of putting my FULL/ENTIRE body-WEIGHT on it.)
-- I was A BIT hesitant to "WASH-UP" after my workout, … SIMPLY because of PHYSICS-caused DREAD.
"I have a 'HIGHER-than-normal' BODY-DENSITY.
If I run too-DEEP a BATH, I DROWN."
(--Sheldon Cooper, 'The Big Bang Theory')
…
THEN, I realized that I take a SHOWER … NOT a BATH.
(… WHEW!)
-- I CONCLUDED my evening by ASSISTING my HOUSEMATE with OUR dinner-PRACTICE/-PREP for our "MOTHER's Day BRUNCH Par-TAY" … for our RESPECTIVE "Moms".
I "beat some eggs", braised some veggies & "oil-coated" the cooking-sheet … as PREP for our BIG "Mother's Day" feast of our
…
QUICHE'!
...
-- I arose rather EARLY--even earli-ER than USUAL (4:44 am) (… YES, I PLANNED that. I can DO that. … It MAY be my SIXTH … or even my SEVENTH sense: "TIMELY a-RISING from SSSLUMBERS".)
… QUESTION: WHY did I wake-up at such an "UNGODLY-hour"?!
ANSWER: "Nature called … '#1'." So, I buzzed for my caregiver/"SPOTTER" … to TRAIL me, as I "WALKED" to my toilet to "RELIEVE myself" … via urine.
-- DAG-NABBIT!
I--FRUSTRATINGLY--yelled, "GO, Go, Gadget-ARM'--a la 'Inspector Gadget' in a DESPERATE attempt to REACH an ITCH in/on the MIDDLE of the "SMALL-of-my-back".
UN-fortunately, I am not THAT similar to 'Iron Man'.
((… AUDIBLE SIGH) I GUESS I'll just "chalk it up" to YET ANOTHER "trial for my ability to IGNORE".)
… "DAG-NABBIT!", Part II
APPARENTLY, I'm STILL … TIRED!
I--REPEATEDLY--YAWN!
My eyelids feel … VERY "HEAVY"
… NONETHELESS/REGARDLESS, I just "SUCK … it … UP", 'cuz …
THAT's just what I DO!
… I'm NOT gonna LIE:
It certainly "BOOSTED my ENERGY", when my housemate came into my room--PRE-work--to "SHARE some CHUCKLES".
(… "'LAUGHTER' is the BEST 'medicine'." … "HUMOR" serves as an "OPTIMAL-/IDEAL-/EXEMPLARY-energy PRODUCER/BUILDER" … for ME.)
(… It's a "PSYCHOSOMATIC-thing".)
(… Read: "It's 'over MY head.")
-- I check the SPORTS-scores & -stats--as I do EVERY morning, 'cuz I am a "SPORTS-NUT"/-FANATIC"!
(… ME: "ANALYZING statistics" RELAXES me.
"WHY … you WEIRDO?" y'ALL RUDELY ask.
MY reply … AFTER I wipe-away my tears:
"1) I KNOW you ARE, but WHAT am I?
2) It TAKES one to KNOW one.
3) 'To EACH his OWN', … dip-shit."
-- "(PROPER) COMMUNICATION is KEY."
((… THIS would ENSURE a MUTUAL-UNDERSTANDING, … which is even MORE IMPORTANT/NECESSARY to (MY) LIFE.))
… UN-fortunately, I feel as if I am OFTEN MIS-understood, … 'cuz of my NECESSARY "letter-board". Yes, I DO tend to EXAGGERATE my ANGER/FRUSTRATION with some RATHER WILD/FLAILING movements. But, that's ONLY 'cuz "next to NO ONE" seems to be able to "READ & PROCESS".
(SIGH)
… 'Por ejemplo', this morning I needed my T-shirt turned-AROUND, 'cuz my caregiver anded it to me BACKWARDS. So, after ABSENT-MINDEDLY putting-ON the BACKWARDS-shirt, I SIGNALED that I NEEDED some assistance by
pointing to the shirt-tag on my upper-CHEST … NOT BACK.
(… After this pointing did NOT work THREE DIFFERENT times,
I SIGHED & REMOVED the shirt.)
-- By the time my SPEECH-Therapist arrives for my "session" (at ~1:30 pm), I've already "WALKED" 'a mi banyo …'CINCO tiempas'.
(… My INTERNAL-monologue: "When in DOUBT, 'WALK'. 'Tis better to be SAFE, than 'tis to be SORRY.'")
-- 'Twas a VERY ENCOURAGING session of Speech-therapy.
I ATE--via MOUTH--TWO scrambled eggs.
(… I had--PREVIOUSLY--USUALLY eaten ONE egg. But, my SPEECH-Therapist actually APPROVED OF & quietly-CHEERED my "GUTSY"-DECISION to eat TWO eggs.)
-- I had an "ON-again, OFF-again" workout @ "NeuroFit 360".
I EXCELLED at this NEW exercise this "worked"/stressed my "TRUNK-control/-flexibility".
CONVERSELY, I STRUGGLED to "explain"--'SANS' letterboard--that I was having TROUBLE keeping my LEFT ankle from "ROLLING".
(… THIS ankle-rolling was causing PAIN & my "AVOIDANCE of putting my FULL/ENTIRE body-WEIGHT on it.)
-- I was A BIT hesitant to "WASH-UP" after my workout, … SIMPLY because of PHYSICS-caused DREAD.
"I have a 'HIGHER-than-normal' BODY-DENSITY.
If I run too-DEEP a BATH, I DROWN."
(--Sheldon Cooper, 'The Big Bang Theory')
…
THEN, I realized that I take a SHOWER … NOT a BATH.
(… WHEW!)
-- I CONCLUDED my evening by ASSISTING my HOUSEMATE with OUR dinner-PRACTICE/-PREP for our "MOTHER's Day BRUNCH Par-TAY" … for our RESPECTIVE "Moms".
I "beat some eggs", braised some veggies & "oil-coated" the cooking-sheet … as PREP for our BIG "Mother's Day" feast of our
…
QUICHE'!
...
Thursday, May 7, 2015
I am--certainly NOT--a PERFECTionist.
…
But, I STRIVE/"AIM" for PERFECTION.
(… A man's GOTTA have GOALS!)
… "'PRACTICE' makes (CLOSE TO) 'PERFECTION'."
But, I STRIVE/"AIM" for PERFECTION.
(… A man's GOTTA have GOALS!)
… "'PRACTICE' makes (CLOSE TO) 'PERFECTION'."
"The 'BIGGEST' enemy to 'GREATNESS' is
'good ENOUGH'."
(--my "martial arts"-Professor)
… By the reception I--CONTINUOUSLY--receive from my fellow-'Karateka' (ADULTS & KIDS), I MUST've done SOMETHING … WELL … during my … 23+ YEARS studying, training, practicing, SPARRING & TEACHING!
____________________________________________________________________________
...
"Anything GREAT … takes TIME & is worth REPETITION."
(--Professor)
Ergo, I LEARN from EACH & EVERY one of my workouts (UPPER & LOWER body)
THEN, I APPLY said RECENTLY-acquired "KNOWLEDGE" to my FUTURE workouts to better-IMPROVE my workout-regimen.
_____________________________________________________________________________
… HOWEVER:
"'Doing the SAME thing OVER and over again & expecting DIFFERENT results' is the DEFINITION of 'INSANITY'."
(--Albert Einstein)
Heretofore, I HAFTA ALWAYS LEARN & APPLY any/ALL ACQUIRED/GAINED "INSIGHT" in order to FURTHER "criticism" of my (OVERWHELMING) INTELLIGENCE!
_____________________________________________________________________________
…
"My dad always taught me, 'DoN'T talk RELIGION, unless you're TRYIN' to 'pick a FIGHT'."
(--'NUMB3RS')
Thus, my VAST KNOWLEDGE of martial arts "PROTECTED me" during my 4-year "STAY" at a CATHOLIC high school … with COUNTLESS "MASS"es!
____________________________________________________________________________
…
ESPECIALLY in my--CURRENT "condition"/"situation", I am DETERMINED to "put my BEST foot FORWARD"!
_____________________________________________________________________________
…
As I watched the YOUNG 'Karateka' "PRACTICING" today, I concluded that I should/MUST "blog" AS MY DAY GOES … & NOT as a THEMED-synopsis.
(… Aaahhh, "live & LEARN".)
...
Ergo, I LEARN from EACH & EVERY one of my workouts (UPPER & LOWER body)
THEN, I APPLY said RECENTLY-acquired "KNOWLEDGE" to my FUTURE workouts to better-IMPROVE my workout-regimen.
_____________________________________________________________________________
… HOWEVER:
"'Doing the SAME thing OVER and over again & expecting DIFFERENT results' is the DEFINITION of 'INSANITY'."
(--Albert Einstein)
Heretofore, I HAFTA ALWAYS LEARN & APPLY any/ALL ACQUIRED/GAINED "INSIGHT" in order to FURTHER "criticism" of my (OVERWHELMING) INTELLIGENCE!
_____________________________________________________________________________
…
"My dad always taught me, 'DoN'T talk RELIGION, unless you're TRYIN' to 'pick a FIGHT'."
(--'NUMB3RS')
Thus, my VAST KNOWLEDGE of martial arts "PROTECTED me" during my 4-year "STAY" at a CATHOLIC high school … with COUNTLESS "MASS"es!
____________________________________________________________________________
…
ESPECIALLY in my--CURRENT "condition"/"situation", I am DETERMINED to "put my BEST foot FORWARD"!
_____________________________________________________________________________
…
As I watched the YOUNG 'Karateka' "PRACTICING" today, I concluded that I should/MUST "blog" AS MY DAY GOES … & NOT as a THEMED-synopsis.
(… Aaahhh, "live & LEARN".)
...
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
I "'Walk HARD'!"
…
(NO, I am NOT trying to emulate "Dewey Cox".)
(… Though, 'Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story' WAS a rather humorous--but FICTIONAL--film!)
(… 'Silencing Doubters -- A Quest to WALK: The A.J. Kaynatma Story' is a COMPLETELY NON-fictional, COMEDIC AUTO-biography.)
I CONSTANTLY TRY to NOT "WALK" "with such HEAVY feet".
But--However--ALAS, my VALIANT efforts CONTINUE TO "go to NO AVAIL".
BUM-MER!
(… SEVERAL) MINOR "DEFEATS"/"LOSSES" shaN'T PREVENT my CONTINUED/REPETITIVE effort. "MIS-fires" merely NECESSITATE RE-"calculations" & adjustments … before the NEXT trialS/attemptS.)
What's the saying/warning?
((… "Walk SOFTLY, and (Or, is it "or"?) carry a BIG stick."))
… Since I do NOT--YET--have the BALANCE, COORDINATION or NERVE-/LEG-"STRENGTH" to "WALK" with-OUT HOLDING onto my walker, 'tis 'MUY DIFICIL' (--'VERY DIFFICULT' for the NON-Spanish speakers) for ME to "HOLD" an ADDITIONAL object.
Also, since I am--STILL--a bit UN-sure about the STRENGTH-CAPABILITIES of my LEFT leg, I tend to be (QUITE) "HEAVY-footed" in my gait/strides.
… THUS, I'm "SCREWED" on/for BOTH accounts.
( : ( )
Oh, YAY!
As I "WALKED" 'a mi banyo' this evening, I was QUITE QUIET.
(… Thank you, 'NeuroFit 360' for your REPEATED/CONTINUOUS "DRILLING" of PROPER weight-shifting!)
… THAT proves that MY 4+ YEARS at "Florida Institute of Neurologic Research" was an UTTER WASTE of MY TIME & MY MONEY … PLUS MY PHYSICAL-, ROMANTIC-, OCCUPATIONAL-, FAMILIAL- & SOCIAL-POTENTIAL!
I've been watching ''Marvel's 'The Avengers' ALL evening, …which reminded me that
(METAPHORICALLY, NON-fictionally)
"I AM 'Iron Man'."
((… The title of MY AUTO-biography ('A Quest to WALK: The A.J. Kaynatma Story')--"Write that down."))
(--ME, during MY valedictory)
(… In writing said EPIC, "GRIPPING" said "biography", I WILL HAFTA ask MY "blog-CREATOR" for ASSISTANCE. He IS … a bit … of a MASTERFUL-writer!)
...
(NO, I am NOT trying to emulate "Dewey Cox".)
(… Though, 'Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story' WAS a rather humorous--but FICTIONAL--film!)
(… 'Silencing Doubters -- A Quest to WALK: The A.J. Kaynatma Story' is a COMPLETELY NON-fictional, COMEDIC AUTO-biography.)
I CONSTANTLY TRY to NOT "WALK" "with such HEAVY feet".
But--However--ALAS, my VALIANT efforts CONTINUE TO "go to NO AVAIL".
BUM-MER!
(… SEVERAL) MINOR "DEFEATS"/"LOSSES" shaN'T PREVENT my CONTINUED/REPETITIVE effort. "MIS-fires" merely NECESSITATE RE-"calculations" & adjustments … before the NEXT trialS/attemptS.)
What's the saying/warning?
((… "Walk SOFTLY, and (Or, is it "or"?) carry a BIG stick."))
… Since I do NOT--YET--have the BALANCE, COORDINATION or NERVE-/LEG-"STRENGTH" to "WALK" with-OUT HOLDING onto my walker, 'tis 'MUY DIFICIL' (--'VERY DIFFICULT' for the NON-Spanish speakers) for ME to "HOLD" an ADDITIONAL object.
Also, since I am--STILL--a bit UN-sure about the STRENGTH-CAPABILITIES of my LEFT leg, I tend to be (QUITE) "HEAVY-footed" in my gait/strides.
… THUS, I'm "SCREWED" on/for BOTH accounts.
( : ( )
Oh, YAY!
As I "WALKED" 'a mi banyo' this evening, I was QUITE QUIET.
(… Thank you, 'NeuroFit 360' for your REPEATED/CONTINUOUS "DRILLING" of PROPER weight-shifting!)
… THAT proves that MY 4+ YEARS at "Florida Institute of Neurologic Research" was an UTTER WASTE of MY TIME & MY MONEY … PLUS MY PHYSICAL-, ROMANTIC-, OCCUPATIONAL-, FAMILIAL- & SOCIAL-POTENTIAL!
I've been watching ''Marvel's 'The Avengers' ALL evening, …which reminded me that
(METAPHORICALLY, NON-fictionally)
"I AM 'Iron Man'."
((… The title of MY AUTO-biography ('A Quest to WALK: The A.J. Kaynatma Story')--"Write that down."))
(--ME, during MY valedictory)
(… In writing said EPIC, "GRIPPING" said "biography", I WILL HAFTA ask MY "blog-CREATOR" for ASSISTANCE. He IS … a bit … of a MASTERFUL-writer!)
...
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
… It MAY SEEM that Life SUCKS! Nonetheless, … "ya GOTTA KEEP ON, keeping' on"!
…
(--Joe Dirt, 'Joe Dirt')
((Is it I (Predicate-nominative), or is the Hispanic-community … of NERDS … TRYING--VALIANTLY--to make "public-INTOXITY" a more PREVALENT … "CELEBRATION"?!))
((… EXPLANATION: 'Cinco de Mayo' DIRECTLY-follows "'Star Wars'-Day".
… Nonetheless, you MUST "use 'the Force'" … of DENIAL … to REFUSE the URGE to DISPLAY & "CAVORT with" your "PUBLIC IN-decency".))
"There are THREE rules when DEALING with a DEADLY (BRAIN-injury).
Rule #1! …
I'm NUMBER 1.
Rule #2:
(Everyone ELSE) is number 2."
(--Joe Dirt, 'Joe Dirt')
(… He can't count, MUCH LIKE my mom … but UN-like … ME)
(… Ha ha HA! I "balance HER checkbook" … ALL MENTALLY.)
((… "I don't know. I just 'SEE' it."
(--Will to Scarlett, about whether he has a photographic-memory))
((… I STILL "give-BACK" to those "LESS fortunate" (monetarily, "MATHEMATICALLY", "MARTIAL artist-ically") than I. Thus, SOMETIMES, I think I'm ENTITLED to be A BIT …
SELFISH.))
(During my--HORRIBLE--accident, I was "CATAPULTED-OUT of"/"EJECTED FROM" my automobile … DESPITE my wearing my seat-belt.)
"(UN-)Luckily, my (LEFT shoulder & HEAD) broke my fall."
(--Joe Dirt, 'Joe Dirt')
( : ( )
…
How INTUITIVE/INSIGHTFUL/WISE/OBSERVANT my neuropsychologist is!
I do NOT agree with EVERYTHING she says, but SOME "notes" are rather HELPFUL.
She remarked that I MAY get "TOO EMOTIONAL in SOME situations", … which I found ODDLY-accurate.
'Tis TRUE that I do NOT --outwardly--DISPLAY/EXPRESS my emotions.
(DAMN "T.B.I."!)
But, I STILL possess/have FEELINGS/'PATHOS'!
(… She--STRANGELY--commented that I tend to express myself MORE, when I'm very AGITATED!)
… "To each his OWN."
… A PAINFUL example: My mother's RUDE friend "crashed" MY 30th birthday PARTY & accused ME of being "crazy".
My EMPHATIC/ECCENTRIC response: "'CRAZY'?! Or, did I just BLOW your mind?!"
(--Cosmo Kramer, 'Seinfeld')
"Things are GONNA HAPPEN for ME; I'm (A.J. Kaynatma)."
(--Joseph DIRTE', 'Joe Dirt')
FINAL THOUGHTS
"Dream BIG.
Work HARD.
Stay POSITIVE.
ENJOY the journey."
(--UFC-great FIGHTER,Uriah Faber)
…
(--Joe Dirt, 'Joe Dirt')
((Is it I (Predicate-nominative), or is the Hispanic-community … of NERDS … TRYING--VALIANTLY--to make "public-INTOXITY" a more PREVALENT … "CELEBRATION"?!))
((… EXPLANATION: 'Cinco de Mayo' DIRECTLY-follows "'Star Wars'-Day".
… Nonetheless, you MUST "use 'the Force'" … of DENIAL … to REFUSE the URGE to DISPLAY & "CAVORT with" your "PUBLIC IN-decency".))
"There are THREE rules when DEALING with a DEADLY (BRAIN-injury).
Rule #1! …
I'm NUMBER 1.
Rule #2:
(Everyone ELSE) is number 2."
(--Joe Dirt, 'Joe Dirt')
(… He can't count, MUCH LIKE my mom … but UN-like … ME)
(… Ha ha HA! I "balance HER checkbook" … ALL MENTALLY.)
((… "I don't know. I just 'SEE' it."
(--Will to Scarlett, about whether he has a photographic-memory))
((… I STILL "give-BACK" to those "LESS fortunate" (monetarily, "MATHEMATICALLY", "MARTIAL artist-ically") than I. Thus, SOMETIMES, I think I'm ENTITLED to be A BIT …
SELFISH.))
(During my--HORRIBLE--accident, I was "CATAPULTED-OUT of"/"EJECTED FROM" my automobile … DESPITE my wearing my seat-belt.)
"(UN-)Luckily, my (LEFT shoulder & HEAD) broke my fall."
(--Joe Dirt, 'Joe Dirt')
( : ( )
…
How INTUITIVE/INSIGHTFUL/WISE/OBSERVANT my neuropsychologist is!
I do NOT agree with EVERYTHING she says, but SOME "notes" are rather HELPFUL.
She remarked that I MAY get "TOO EMOTIONAL in SOME situations", … which I found ODDLY-accurate.
'Tis TRUE that I do NOT --outwardly--DISPLAY/EXPRESS my emotions.
(DAMN "T.B.I."!)
But, I STILL possess/have FEELINGS/'PATHOS'!
(… She--STRANGELY--commented that I tend to express myself MORE, when I'm very AGITATED!)
… "To each his OWN."
… A PAINFUL example: My mother's RUDE friend "crashed" MY 30th birthday PARTY & accused ME of being "crazy".
My EMPHATIC/ECCENTRIC response: "'CRAZY'?! Or, did I just BLOW your mind?!"
(--Cosmo Kramer, 'Seinfeld')
"Things are GONNA HAPPEN for ME; I'm (A.J. Kaynatma)."
(--Joseph DIRTE', 'Joe Dirt')
FINAL THOUGHTS
"Dream BIG.
Work HARD.
Stay POSITIVE.
ENJOY the journey."
(--UFC-great FIGHTER,Uriah Faber)
…
Monday, May 4, 2015
… "I wish you could ALL be 'in my head'. The conversation is 'SPARKLING'!"
…
…
Peter: "Anyone at your work ever say: ''Looks like SOMEONE's got a case of the 'Mondays'!''?"
Lawrence: "NAW, man! You'd get your 'ASS-kicked' for sayin' somethin' like THAT."
(--'Office Space')
Blog-CREATOR to ME: "(A,J) WHAT's … happenin'? (SIGH) We've gotta talk about your 'TPS-reports'."
(--Lumbergh, 'Office Space')
ME: "'TPS-reports'? Like MY 'Traumatic Physical Suffering'-essays
OR
MY 'Total Psychosomatic Silliness'
OR
MY 'Terrible Personal Suicide'
OR
MY 'Traumatic Psychological-Stiffness'?!"
(--WEIRDO Dr. Sheldon Cooper, 'The Big Bang Theory')
…
Peter: "Anyone at your work ever say: ''Looks like SOMEONE's got a case of the 'Mondays'!''?"
Lawrence: "NAW, man! You'd get your 'ASS-kicked' for sayin' somethin' like THAT."
(--'Office Space')
Blog-CREATOR to ME: "(A,J) WHAT's … happenin'? (SIGH) We've gotta talk about your 'TPS-reports'."
(--Lumbergh, 'Office Space')
ME: "'TPS-reports'? Like MY 'Traumatic Physical Suffering'-essays
OR
MY 'Total Psychosomatic Silliness'
OR
MY 'Terrible Personal Suicide'
OR
MY 'Traumatic Psychological-Stiffness'?!"
…
I'll ADMIT:
I'm QUITE the RANDOM, "STEE-RANGE", INSIGHTFUL "SMARTY-pants"!
I--ALWAYS--have "INFINITE" subjects/topics/issues "RUNNING through my mind" … 'cuz THAT's just how I "function"/"operate".
I like/PREFER to "MULTI-task". I NEED as MANY time-SAVING techniques as POSSIBLE!
… My mother CLAIMS that "when MOST people 'MULTI-task', NOTHING gets the MAXIMUM-effort".
Yes, this is true--in THEORY.
But, I'd think that she's known ME for long enough
(10,983 days = 30 years, 3 weeks & 5 days) to REALIZE/KNOW that I am "a BIT" (Read: "A LOT")
(… That was "REVERSE-hyperbole".) of an ANOMALY.
I am QUITE UNIQUE--in a GOOD way (MOSTLY).
… I am UNLIKE "MOST people".
I--STRONGLY--believe/KNOW that NUMBERS can "APPLY to"/explain ANY--LOGICAL--conclusion.
((.. THIS mathematical-/numerical-REASONING MAY help explain WHY/HOW I could "ACE" "Advanced-Placement Calculus BC ("2nd-level Calculus--out of 2") while SIMULTANEOUSLY "ACING" "Advanced-Placement STATISTICS".
BONUS: Said mathematical-"DOUBLE feat" occurred whilst I was MERELY a senior … in HIGH SCHOOL!
BEFORE every task I undertake, I first calculate "the odds of SUCCESS versus the odds of FAILURE … using my current strategy".
(… To a "NORMEE", this ADDITIONAL problem-solving would take ENTIRELY TOO MUCH EXTRA-time to be WORTH the "TROUBLE".)
(… But, PERSONALLY--as a PROVEN "ANOMALY", I WELCOME … & LOVE the--NECESSARY--"number-CRUNCHING".)
… As an AVID/FANATICAL SPORTS-viewer … & -partipant,
'tis "SAD" that MY MOOD is SO AFFECTED by the "PERFORMANCE" of my teams.
However, my attitude LATELY has been SLIGHTLY-BETTER than usual, 'cuz MOST of "MY teams"' "putting-up BETTER #s". (… FOREIGN & DOMESTIC … teams)
(… "Knock on wood.")
… I think that my "(VERY) QUICK NUMERICAL-deductions" played a MINOR-role in my WRESTLING-, SOCCER-, FOOTBALL- & BASKETBALL- SUCCESS/GLORY!
(… In a WRESTLING-match, if I am "on BOTTOM" & TRAILING by TWO at the BEGINNING of the THIRD-period, then I--almost INSTANTANEOUSLY--KNOW that I NEED TO "score an 'ESCAPE' for 1 point", "RELEASE him … to give HIM a point", then--FINALLY--"secure the last 'TAKEDOWN' for the FINAL 2 points"--ALL in the last two REGULATION-minutes to force OVERTIME.)
(… OR, I COULD just "secure a 'REVERSAL' for 2 points"& apply DEFENSIVE-"pressure" for the LAST two minutes to AVOID TWO "STALLING-penalties … the SECOND of which would be a "STALLING-penalty" to give HIM ONE point.)
…
"Back in the day(S)--PRE-accident, I'd--OFTEN/FREQUENTLY--"conduct LENGTHY, SOPHISTICATED, MOTIVATING conversations--with MYSELF:
((… EXAMPLE-opening: "Hey, (A.J.)! How ya DOIN'? … Just REMEMBER:
''I'm GOOD-enough. I'm SMART-enough. And, DOGGONE IT, people LIKE me.''"
(--'Daily Affirmation with Stuart Smalley'on OLD-SCHOOL 'S.N.L.'))
(INTERNAL-soliloquoy:) "Would YOU rather 'travel the WORLD' WITH your 'SIGNIFICANT-other' OR 'STAY--relatively--SITUATED' & open/operate YOUR OWN martial arts dojo?"
…
In honor of TODAY's DATE, (I am NOT ashamed/embarrassed of my "LITHP".)
"May the FO(U)RTH be with you."
(… 'Twas "'Star Wars'-Day" today.)
…
"There is no 'OFF-position' on the 'GENIUS-switch'."
(--David Letterman)
...
I'll ADMIT:
I'm QUITE the RANDOM, "STEE-RANGE", INSIGHTFUL "SMARTY-pants"!
I--ALWAYS--have "INFINITE" subjects/topics/issues "RUNNING through my mind" … 'cuz THAT's just how I "function"/"operate".
I like/PREFER to "MULTI-task". I NEED as MANY time-SAVING techniques as POSSIBLE!
… My mother CLAIMS that "when MOST people 'MULTI-task', NOTHING gets the MAXIMUM-effort".
Yes, this is true--in THEORY.
But, I'd think that she's known ME for long enough
(10,983 days = 30 years, 3 weeks & 5 days) to REALIZE/KNOW that I am "a BIT" (Read: "A LOT")
(… That was "REVERSE-hyperbole".) of an ANOMALY.
I am QUITE UNIQUE--in a GOOD way (MOSTLY).
… I am UNLIKE "MOST people".
I--STRONGLY--believe/KNOW that NUMBERS can "APPLY to"/explain ANY--LOGICAL--conclusion.
((.. THIS mathematical-/numerical-REASONING MAY help explain WHY/HOW I could "ACE" "Advanced-Placement Calculus BC ("2nd-level Calculus--out of 2") while SIMULTANEOUSLY "ACING" "Advanced-Placement STATISTICS".
BONUS: Said mathematical-"DOUBLE feat" occurred whilst I was MERELY a senior … in HIGH SCHOOL!
BEFORE every task I undertake, I first calculate "the odds of SUCCESS versus the odds of FAILURE … using my current strategy".
(… To a "NORMEE", this ADDITIONAL problem-solving would take ENTIRELY TOO MUCH EXTRA-time to be WORTH the "TROUBLE".)
(… But, PERSONALLY--as a PROVEN "ANOMALY", I WELCOME … & LOVE the--NECESSARY--"number-CRUNCHING".)
… As an AVID/FANATICAL SPORTS-viewer … & -partipant,
'tis "SAD" that MY MOOD is SO AFFECTED by the "PERFORMANCE" of my teams.
However, my attitude LATELY has been SLIGHTLY-BETTER than usual, 'cuz MOST of "MY teams"' "putting-up BETTER #s". (… FOREIGN & DOMESTIC … teams)
(… "Knock on wood.")
… I think that my "(VERY) QUICK NUMERICAL-deductions" played a MINOR-role in my WRESTLING-, SOCCER-, FOOTBALL- & BASKETBALL- SUCCESS/GLORY!
(… In a WRESTLING-match, if I am "on BOTTOM" & TRAILING by TWO at the BEGINNING of the THIRD-period, then I--almost INSTANTANEOUSLY--KNOW that I NEED TO "score an 'ESCAPE' for 1 point", "RELEASE him … to give HIM a point", then--FINALLY--"secure the last 'TAKEDOWN' for the FINAL 2 points"--ALL in the last two REGULATION-minutes to force OVERTIME.)
(… OR, I COULD just "secure a 'REVERSAL' for 2 points"& apply DEFENSIVE-"pressure" for the LAST two minutes to AVOID TWO "STALLING-penalties … the SECOND of which would be a "STALLING-penalty" to give HIM ONE point.)
…
"Back in the day(S)--PRE-accident, I'd--OFTEN/FREQUENTLY--"conduct LENGTHY, SOPHISTICATED, MOTIVATING conversations--with MYSELF:
((… EXAMPLE-opening: "Hey, (A.J.)! How ya DOIN'? … Just REMEMBER:
''I'm GOOD-enough. I'm SMART-enough. And, DOGGONE IT, people LIKE me.''"
(--'Daily Affirmation with Stuart Smalley'on OLD-SCHOOL 'S.N.L.'))
(INTERNAL-soliloquoy:) "Would YOU rather 'travel the WORLD' WITH your 'SIGNIFICANT-other' OR 'STAY--relatively--SITUATED' & open/operate YOUR OWN martial arts dojo?"
…
In honor of TODAY's DATE, (I am NOT ashamed/embarrassed of my "LITHP".)
"May the FO(U)RTH be with you."
(… 'Twas "'Star Wars'-Day" today.)
…
"There is no 'OFF-position' on the 'GENIUS-switch'."
(--David Letterman)
...
Sunday, May 3, 2015
Today was my (METAPHORICAL) "OFF-day".
…
"EARLY to BED (SLEEP) & EARLY to RISE …
makes a man HEALTHY, WEALTHY & WISE."
Well, … I "go-to-SLEEP"--at night--LATE.
(… USUALLY, around … MIDNIGHT)
I "aRISE" relatively-EARLY 'en la man(tilde)ana.
(… USUALLY, around 6:00 am)
Thus--Ergo--Therefore--Hence, I fulfill HALF of the LISTED/NAMED "requirements".
Yet, I "produce" TWO of the THREE desired "results".
(… EARLY "day-beginning" + LATE "day-ENDING" =
SUB-par PHYSICAL-condition + ABUNDANT MONETARY-resources + EXTRAORDINARY INTELLECT)
____________________________________________________________________________
...
"Our (RESPECTIVE) Destiny is what we MAKE it."
(--Lincoln Rhyme, 'The Bone Collector')
Thus, EVEN on my "REST-day", I "WORK"/EXERCISE:
-- I STRETCHED my SHOULDERS, FINGERS & GROIN.
-- I MONITORED the TIMES of my employees' SHIFT-CHANGES.
-- I DESIGNED a 'jiujitsu'-technique.
-- I "WALKED" EIGHT DIFFERENT times … of AT LEAST 64 steps.
((… Ergo, I "WALKED" a MINIMUM of (8 x 64 =) 512 STEPS today.))
___________________________________________________________________________
… WAIT a TIC!
IsN'T "SUNDAY" the ALLOTTED "Day of REST", 'cuz "God RESTED on the SEVENTH day"?
Yet, EVERY calendar BEGINS on a SUNDAY--making it the FIRST day … of the week.
CONSEQUENTLY, we MUST INFER that the "calendar-CREATORS" were NOT theologians.
(… That was NOT blasphemous, 'cuz I am MERELY "pointing-out" the recorded-DISCREPANCY. I'm "MAKIN' LIGHT of it".)
___________________________________________________________________________
…
"This is NO 'democracy'. … It is a 'DIC-TA-TOR-ship'!
… I am … the LAW!"
(--Coach Herman Boone, 'Remember the Titans')
(… I MUST ALWAYS be INFORMED of EVERYONE's FULL-schedule, in order to PROPERLY-delegate RESPONSIBILITIES.)
___________________________________________________________________________
I MIGHT go to bed/sleep EARLY, and "catch-up on my BLINKING"(--Stephen Colbert).
(… NAW! I didN'T do enough ACTIVE-"work"/-exercise to regard "extreme-FATIGUE" as a LEGITIMATE excuse.)
"EARLY to BED (SLEEP) & EARLY to RISE …
makes a man HEALTHY, WEALTHY & WISE."
Well, … I "go-to-SLEEP"--at night--LATE.
(… USUALLY, around … MIDNIGHT)
I "aRISE" relatively-EARLY 'en la man(tilde)ana.
(… USUALLY, around 6:00 am)
Thus--Ergo--Therefore--Hence, I fulfill HALF of the LISTED/NAMED "requirements".
Yet, I "produce" TWO of the THREE desired "results".
(… EARLY "day-beginning" + LATE "day-ENDING" =
SUB-par PHYSICAL-condition + ABUNDANT MONETARY-resources + EXTRAORDINARY INTELLECT)
____________________________________________________________________________
...
"Our (RESPECTIVE) Destiny is what we MAKE it."
(--Lincoln Rhyme, 'The Bone Collector')
Thus, EVEN on my "REST-day", I "WORK"/EXERCISE:
-- I STRETCHED my SHOULDERS, FINGERS & GROIN.
-- I MONITORED the TIMES of my employees' SHIFT-CHANGES.
-- I DESIGNED a 'jiujitsu'-technique.
-- I "WALKED" EIGHT DIFFERENT times … of AT LEAST 64 steps.
((… Ergo, I "WALKED" a MINIMUM of (8 x 64 =) 512 STEPS today.))
___________________________________________________________________________
… WAIT a TIC!
IsN'T "SUNDAY" the ALLOTTED "Day of REST", 'cuz "God RESTED on the SEVENTH day"?
Yet, EVERY calendar BEGINS on a SUNDAY--making it the FIRST day … of the week.
CONSEQUENTLY, we MUST INFER that the "calendar-CREATORS" were NOT theologians.
(… That was NOT blasphemous, 'cuz I am MERELY "pointing-out" the recorded-DISCREPANCY. I'm "MAKIN' LIGHT of it".)
___________________________________________________________________________
…
"This is NO 'democracy'. … It is a 'DIC-TA-TOR-ship'!
… I am … the LAW!"
(--Coach Herman Boone, 'Remember the Titans')
(… I MUST ALWAYS be INFORMED of EVERYONE's FULL-schedule, in order to PROPERLY-delegate RESPONSIBILITIES.)
___________________________________________________________________________
I MIGHT go to bed/sleep EARLY, and "catch-up on my BLINKING"(--Stephen Colbert).
(… NAW! I didN'T do enough ACTIVE-"work"/-exercise to regard "extreme-FATIGUE" as a LEGITIMATE excuse.)
Saturday, May 2, 2015
WEEK-in-REVIEW:
…
So, this WEEK was--RELATIVELY--"BUSY".
-- I CONTINUE to "make GREAT/ENCOURAGING 'STRIDES'" (metaphorical/figurative AND literal) in my "WALKING" & OVERALL "REHABILITATION".
EVERY day, evening & night--at HOME, I "WALK" during EACH & EVERY one of my "TREKS" 'a mi banyo'. (… THAT's ~SEVEN trips … per DAY.)
-- (WARNING!)
I FINALLY "put 2 & 2 together" regarding my "EXCRETORY-activity":
I--using VARIOUS "relaxing-techniques"--can--PAINLESSLY--CONTROL
WHEN I "UNLEASH a 'RECTAL-ROCKET'"!
(… I've "gone 'BOMBS over BAGHDAD'" … FOUR different times in the last ~106.5 hours.
ALL were AT LEAST "SEMI-solid" "droppings".)
-- I--STILL--devise MATH problems … AND 'jiujitsu'-techniques in my "FREE-/SPARE-time".
(… 'Cuz I "BREATHE MATH" & just "MOVE in 'JIUJITSU'")
-- I had three "f-AB-ulous" workouts … on/for my IMPROVING "trunk" … at "NeuroFit 360"!
-- I decided--& my SPEECH-Therapist CONCURRED--that I could NOW--ALWAYS--handle EATING--via MOUTH--TWO scrambled eggs!
(… "PRACTICE makes" CLOSE TO "PERFECT.")
-- I've noticed that--STRANGELY--I SPEAK FOREIGN languages MORE COGENTLY/UNDERSTANDABLY than I do ENGLISH--my NATIVE-LANGUAGE!
...
So, this WEEK was--RELATIVELY--"BUSY".
-- I CONTINUE to "make GREAT/ENCOURAGING 'STRIDES'" (metaphorical/figurative AND literal) in my "WALKING" & OVERALL "REHABILITATION".
EVERY day, evening & night--at HOME, I "WALK" during EACH & EVERY one of my "TREKS" 'a mi banyo'. (… THAT's ~SEVEN trips … per DAY.)
-- (WARNING!)
I FINALLY "put 2 & 2 together" regarding my "EXCRETORY-activity":
I--using VARIOUS "relaxing-techniques"--can--PAINLESSLY--CONTROL
WHEN I "UNLEASH a 'RECTAL-ROCKET'"!
(… I've "gone 'BOMBS over BAGHDAD'" … FOUR different times in the last ~106.5 hours.
ALL were AT LEAST "SEMI-solid" "droppings".)
-- I--STILL--devise MATH problems … AND 'jiujitsu'-techniques in my "FREE-/SPARE-time".
(… 'Cuz I "BREATHE MATH" & just "MOVE in 'JIUJITSU'")
-- I had three "f-AB-ulous" workouts … on/for my IMPROVING "trunk" … at "NeuroFit 360"!
-- I decided--& my SPEECH-Therapist CONCURRED--that I could NOW--ALWAYS--handle EATING--via MOUTH--TWO scrambled eggs!
(… "PRACTICE makes" CLOSE TO "PERFECT.")
-- I've noticed that--STRANGELY--I SPEAK FOREIGN languages MORE COGENTLY/UNDERSTANDABLY than I do ENGLISH--my NATIVE-LANGUAGE!
...
"GOOD times had by ALL."
…
I STILL have received "NO WORD" regarding the "URINE-sample" I "supplied" for my (MAIN-) nurse ~ten days ago.
(… Seeing as I haveN'T been "TESTED" in ~ten YEARS, … I was DUE.)
My nurse's SITUATIONAL-analysis:
"NO news is GOOD news."
(… "Knock on wood.")
… THIS "urinary-REPPORT" SUPPORTS my attemptS at GREATER PATIENCE.
(… Ya' see: All too OFTEN, my caregiver will "take his PRECIOUS time in answering my bell to WALK with ME to my toilet.)
My SPORTS-teams played WELL today … AND recently!
Ergo, by being an ATHLETICS-obsessed male, I'm "CHIPPER"!
I had the GLORIOUS opportunity to FURTHER-DISPLAY my "STANDING-progress & FOCUS" … in Karate-class this LATE-morning/EARLY-afternoon.
I practiced--MYSELF--a 'kata' ('set of PRE-arranged FIGHTING-movements') that "focuses ON"/STRESSES breath-control, INTENSITY & 'kime" ('KEE-may' … Japanese for 'FOCUS')
My NEW "WEEKEND-caregiver" worked his FIRST day today.
Granted, for the FIRST (~7/12 of the WEEKEND = ~14 HOURS = 'til ~2:00 pm on SATURDAY) part of his day, he was STILL being SEMI-"trained" by my FAVORITE/BEST caregiver.
"But, it's the PRINCIPLE!"(--ME, in grad-school, circa 2008
… Said caregiver accompanied me to the 5th-birthday PARTY of my BUDDY's niece.
HE helped me STAND … to URINATE into a NON-"handicap-FRIENDLY" toilet AT my buddy's sister's house.
The FESTIVITIES included a barbecue--which reminded me that I REALLY MISS …
EATING … GOOD BBQ-food!
Despite my NOT-EATING a BURGER and/or HOT DOG … AND imbibing a "TASTY-beverage"/BEER, I STILL had a GREAT time--for those ~2.5 hours--with such GREAT & FRIENDLY company!
…
My ex-girlfriend--to/about ME:
"Were you really THAT AMUSED & ENTERTAINED at a CHILD's birthday party?!
Grow UP!"
My IMMEDIATE response: "Alright. I WAS a bit UN-happy there wasN'T a CLOWN … making BALLOON-animals."
(AUDIBLE sigh)
"I REALLY wanted a GIRAFFE!
...
Friday, May 1, 2015
"That's fuckin' INTERESTING, man!"
…
(--'The Dude', 'The Big Lebowski')
…
People who use A LOT of SWEAR-WORDS tend to be more HONEST & TRUSTWORTHY, human behavioral-studies suggest.
...
So, yesterday my NEWEST 'jujitsu'-technique received WIDESPREAD-approval & exclamations of "WOW, that 'kicks ASS'--metaphorically."
((… EVENTUALLY, I succumbed to IRONY. I added a VARIATION, so the Defender actually LITERALLY "KICKED the Attacker's ASS" … PLUS an 'eeza' (--Japanese for 'KNEE-strike') to the lower back.))
…
“Even 'MIRACLES' take a little time.”
— Fairy Godmother, 'Cinderella'
((… It's been … SIX YEARS, NINE MONTHS, FOUR WEEKS & TWO DAYS (and COUNTING …) of my REHAB. But, MY nerves have, ACTUALLY, been "responding" quickER, strongER & just BETTER. Thus, ("Knock on wood.") THAT's ENCOURAGING!))
(… Also, Ms. Godmother, "little time" is VERY opinionated, subjective & circumstantial. PLEASE "DROP your POPPYCOCK", & doN'T lecture ME about YOUR regards for "LITTLE time"!)
… Regarding my PROGRESS, I wish I could give y'ALL more VISUAL-evidence of my IMPROVEMENT(S). But, if I were to BRAG of FALSE-/FAKE-/'FAUX'-/FABLED-accomplishments, I'd only be LYING to … MYSELF.
(… WOW! That was just FOUR synonyms for "MADE-UP" … that ALL began with 'F'!
Altan Epitomizes Astounding, Amazing And Awesome Alliteration!)
… CONDENSED/"Little TIME" would be MY taking EIGHT YEARS of the HIGHEST/"most DIFFICULT" "levels"/courses of MATHEMATICS--ALL in--ESSENTIALLY/TECHNICALLY--MY ~4.167 years of high school!
(Algebra I, Algebra II, Geometry, Trigonometry, Pre-Cal, Calculus AB, Calculus BC, Statistics)
(… So, in EIGHTH grade, I "hopped a PRIVATE-bus" to the local HIGH SCHOOL … EVERY weekday-morning to take a MATH-course.)
(… PLUS, I SKIPPED "Pre-Cal"--per the MATH-department Chairman, 'cuz I'm "just … THAT ... GOOD".)
(… In a RELATED story, my middle school "amped-UP" its MATHEMATICAL-curriculum the NEXT year … because of … ME!)
(… ME--to my two years youngER brother, who graduated from the SAME middle school:
"You're WELCOME!")
… So, I basically "tested-OUT" of my MATH-classes at my "Ivy League"-college (University of Pennsylvania). Regardless, I TOOK mathematical-courses to REMAIN properly-INFORMED.
(… I did NOT want 'em CHANGIN' everything & makin' ME "OLD-SCHOOL … like 'I Love Lucy'"!)
… INTERNALLY, I was singing:
"DON'T GO … CHANGIN'!"
… NOW, I WANNA "change" … my NERVES & LEGS!
((… Ergo, my DESIRES are a "FUNCTION of TIME".
So, MATHEMATICALLY, THAT'd be written as …
DESIRE = f (t) with "t" as the "TIME"-component = (2t + 23) multiplied by (MY # of SUPPORTIVE peers + MY # of WILLING, COMPETENT "helpers"))
(… Equational-EXPLANATION:
"2t" 'cuz almost-ALL tasks seem to take me TWICE as long;
"23" 'cuz THAT was MY AGE at the time of said ACCIDENT;
"# of SUPPORTIVE-peers" 'cuz my "DESIRE" to be even-MORE SOCIAL directly-INCREASES as the ENERGY-/SOCIABILITY-level of my FRIENDS "approaches its MAXIMUM";
"# of COMPETENT 'helpers'" 'cuz--MUCH to my DISMAY--I STILL need SOME help to IN-crease my FUN)
(… PAUSE … for EFFECT.)
(… VERY NERD-esque!)
…
"NOTHING's 'impossible'!
… There's ALWAYS a way.
… I just 'SEE' the coding'" … to MY damaged NERVES & LEGS.
(--Stan, 'Swordfish')
(… THAT's what I REPEATEDLY say to SO MANY of my DOUBTERS!)
…
(--'The Dude', 'The Big Lebowski')
…
People who use A LOT of SWEAR-WORDS tend to be more HONEST & TRUSTWORTHY, human behavioral-studies suggest.
...
So, yesterday my NEWEST 'jujitsu'-technique received WIDESPREAD-approval & exclamations of "WOW, that 'kicks ASS'--metaphorically."
((… EVENTUALLY, I succumbed to IRONY. I added a VARIATION, so the Defender actually LITERALLY "KICKED the Attacker's ASS" … PLUS an 'eeza' (--Japanese for 'KNEE-strike') to the lower back.))
…
“Even 'MIRACLES' take a little time.”
— Fairy Godmother, 'Cinderella'
((… It's been … SIX YEARS, NINE MONTHS, FOUR WEEKS & TWO DAYS (and COUNTING …) of my REHAB. But, MY nerves have, ACTUALLY, been "responding" quickER, strongER & just BETTER. Thus, ("Knock on wood.") THAT's ENCOURAGING!))
(… Also, Ms. Godmother, "little time" is VERY opinionated, subjective & circumstantial. PLEASE "DROP your POPPYCOCK", & doN'T lecture ME about YOUR regards for "LITTLE time"!)
… Regarding my PROGRESS, I wish I could give y'ALL more VISUAL-evidence of my IMPROVEMENT(S). But, if I were to BRAG of FALSE-/FAKE-/'FAUX'-/FABLED-accomplishments, I'd only be LYING to … MYSELF.
(… WOW! That was just FOUR synonyms for "MADE-UP" … that ALL began with 'F'!
Altan Epitomizes Astounding, Amazing And Awesome Alliteration!)
… CONDENSED/"Little TIME" would be MY taking EIGHT YEARS of the HIGHEST/"most DIFFICULT" "levels"/courses of MATHEMATICS--ALL in--ESSENTIALLY/TECHNICALLY--MY ~4.167 years of high school!
(Algebra I, Algebra II, Geometry, Trigonometry, Pre-Cal, Calculus AB, Calculus BC, Statistics)
(… So, in EIGHTH grade, I "hopped a PRIVATE-bus" to the local HIGH SCHOOL … EVERY weekday-morning to take a MATH-course.)
(… PLUS, I SKIPPED "Pre-Cal"--per the MATH-department Chairman, 'cuz I'm "just … THAT ... GOOD".)
(… In a RELATED story, my middle school "amped-UP" its MATHEMATICAL-curriculum the NEXT year … because of … ME!)
(… ME--to my two years youngER brother, who graduated from the SAME middle school:
"You're WELCOME!")
… So, I basically "tested-OUT" of my MATH-classes at my "Ivy League"-college (University of Pennsylvania). Regardless, I TOOK mathematical-courses to REMAIN properly-INFORMED.
(… I did NOT want 'em CHANGIN' everything & makin' ME "OLD-SCHOOL … like 'I Love Lucy'"!)
… INTERNALLY, I was singing:
"DON'T GO … CHANGIN'!"
… NOW, I WANNA "change" … my NERVES & LEGS!
((… Ergo, my DESIRES are a "FUNCTION of TIME".
So, MATHEMATICALLY, THAT'd be written as …
DESIRE = f (t) with "t" as the "TIME"-component = (2t + 23) multiplied by (MY # of SUPPORTIVE peers + MY # of WILLING, COMPETENT "helpers"))
(… Equational-EXPLANATION:
"2t" 'cuz almost-ALL tasks seem to take me TWICE as long;
"23" 'cuz THAT was MY AGE at the time of said ACCIDENT;
"# of SUPPORTIVE-peers" 'cuz my "DESIRE" to be even-MORE SOCIAL directly-INCREASES as the ENERGY-/SOCIABILITY-level of my FRIENDS "approaches its MAXIMUM";
"# of COMPETENT 'helpers'" 'cuz--MUCH to my DISMAY--I STILL need SOME help to IN-crease my FUN)
(… PAUSE … for EFFECT.)
(… VERY NERD-esque!)
…
"NOTHING's 'impossible'!
… There's ALWAYS a way.
… I just 'SEE' the coding'" … to MY damaged NERVES & LEGS.
(--Stan, 'Swordfish')
(… THAT's what I REPEATEDLY say to SO MANY of my DOUBTERS!)
…
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