My "life's like a SNOW-GLOBE".

… "It gets SHAKEN UP, and it has to SETTLE, before (I) can figure out what (my) purpose in life is."
(--Vanilla Ice)


...

(Open to interpretation:)

…

Isn't "HERE" just "THERE" without a "T"?


...

UNFORTUNATE foreshadowing

…
CURRENTLY, I'm sitting IN MY WHEELCHAIR.  I'm STRUGGLING to FOCUS my thoughts and NOT BE sleepy!

When I lie in my bed to blog-post, I'm more CLEAR-MINDED, RELAXED and COMFORTABLE.

HOWEVER, when I begin my touring-SERVICE, I can/should definitely NOT "work" from BED!(That would NOT be PROFESSIONAL!)


...

It's all about RAPPORT!

… So, I JUST "conversed" with my NEW evening-nurse.

(… I won't BORE y'all with the details.
But, it was a VERY PLEASANT "back-and-forth"/'repartee'!)


...

(Minesweeper)...

…
  So, I  awoke this morning to begin my (DAILY) morning-ROUTINE.
(I played ALOTTA "EXPERT-level" "Minesweeper".

THESE were my "times":

   424
   384
   380
   379
   430
   442
   426
   412
   361
   413

= 4051 seconds = 67 minutes & 31 seconds = ~67.516… minutes


(… Sooo, EVIDENTLY, my brain's STILL functioning--CONTRARY to the opinions of MOST medical-"experts".)


...

"One day (my head accountant) called and said:

… "We don't have to worry 'bout money no mo''.
And, I said, 'GOOD!  That's one less thing to worry about.'"
(--'Forrest Gump')

((… Like Forrest, I also have (SEVERE) leg-problems--which causes POOR/BAD posture.))

(INSTEAD of playing FOOTBALL in college, I WRESTLED.
However, I--like Forrest--WAS a "ping pong"-EXPERT.)

(…
"My momma always said, ''You've got to put the PAST BEHIND you, before you can move on to the FUTURE.")

Yes, I have a "Traumatic Brain-Injury".  Consequently, MANY people (FALSELY/UN-justly/IGNORANTLY,UN-knowingly) "ASS-u-me" that I'm an IGNORAMUS.
My reply:
"'Stupid' IS as 'stupid' DOES."


(--ALL quotes from 'Forrest Gump')

...

You know what I--USED TO--REALLY like?!

…
"The NECTAR of the gods"
(--commercial for 'Jack Daniels'-ALCOHOLIC drink)

(… NOT excessively/abusively!
It's just a nice "CALMER/SOOTHER/RELAXER of the nerves.)


...

DESPITE my MANY IMMENSE "OBSTACLES" in my "path",

… I MUST remain CONFIDENT, OPTIMISTIC and DETERMINED.
(See the glass as "half-FULL".)


By making THE BEST of ALL things
we make THE MOST of OURSELVES.

(… "The ROYAL 'We'!  The EDITORIAL.  …"
--Walter Sobchak, 'The Big Lebowski')


...

"Is the (our/MY) future truly SET?"

… "Or, can we CHANGE our fate?"
(--Professor Charles Xavier, 'X-Men: Days of Future Past'



DETERMINATION
I WILL "CHANGE mi stahs".
(--''A Knight's Tale'')


...

… Speech-"TRICKS"

… I remembered my IMPROVEMENT by creating the HUMOROUS "letter-memory trick" (I forgot the ACTUAL name.):

"P.P."

(… I am NOT gonna forget the HUMOR of UNTIMELY-URINE!)

… My Speech Therapist complimented me on my IMPROVED

"Precision and Placement" of my tongue-movement.


...

Hey, they can't ALL be WINNERS.

…
JEEZ!
WHAT an UP-N'-DOWN day!

I had a very ENCOURAGING "Speech-Therapy session".
(DETAILS coming later …)

My driver--to take me to my gym ("NeuroFit 360")
made some UNCALLED FOR, MEAN, "UNDER-HIS-BREATH" comments about my PORTLY "caregiver".
(HE'S "ONE TO TALK"!  I''m NOT "pullin' any punches".  He's REALLY FAT … & OLD.)

I had a GREAT leg-workout at "NeuroFit 360"!
I SUCCESSFULLY worked on my weight-shifting and ALMOST INDEPENDENT-standing!
(MORE details later …)

Upon my return home from my FABULOUS workout, the SAME AWFUL driver was listening to a LONG, COMPLIMENTARY (UUGGHH!) radio-analysis of the HORRIBLE RACIST-comments made by L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling.


...

ALWAYS "give your ALL"!

…


You're NOT a LOSER, if you do NOT win.
You BECOME a LOSER, when you STOP TRYING to win.

(… Athletically, ONLY the 1972 Miami Dolphins had a "PERFECT season".)
(… They NEVER stopped "TRYING"~)

(… Thus, I MUST ALWAYS "get an 'A' for effort"!)


...

"To LIVE, to live (WITH STRONG, FUNCTIONING legs) would be the BEST 'adventure'!"

… ((--Peter Pan(ning) (Robin Williams), 'Hook')


...

(WARNING) "Numerical" UPDATE: (NO "approximation necessary!)

…
At 11:53 and 48 seconds AM Eastern Standard Time today (Sunday, April 27th, 2014), I UNLEASHED three days worth of otherwise--temporarily--DORMANT dung into my toilet.
(It was a period of "IN-activity" of 73 hours and 22 minutes.)
(… In following with the indicated "THEME" indicated in the "topic" of this "post", I "went #2" … to the nth degree.)
(… I HAD TO "add" an algebraic term.)
(… I'm sorry I'm NOT sorry!)


...

"To EACH his OWN."

…
"Just because you DON'T like something
doesN'T mean it's BAD!"
(--'Workaholics')


...

Man! PRE-accident, "I was LEGIT!"

… "I was SO LEGIT--that I was almost 'TOO LEGIT'.
So, NOW, I must 'QUIT'."
(--'Hot Rod')


HHHMMM, "quitting"?
Is that ENGLISH?!
(The word seems FOREIGN to ME.
It's NOT in MY … rather EXTENSIVE … vocabulary.)


...

… MORE math-applications … for LIFE:

…
"ALWAYS account for 'variable-change'."
(--'21')

(… BASICALLY, one should CONSTANTLY prepare for a NECESSARY "Plan B"!)

(… TRANSLATION: Be READY for the "HYPOTHETICALS"/"IF"s!)

(… In other words, I'll quote the MOTTO of the Boy Scouts of America:
"Be PREPARED.")



P.S. The word, variable, is Latin for 'alterable' or 'changeable'.
So, the term, "variable-change" seems KINDA redundant.
(… Yes, I--a mat-LOVER--am ACTUALLY questioning a MATHEMATICAL- term!)
(… RELAX!  I'm ALSO a "Grammatical-Gusto".)
(… "Alliteration aside."--'Dodgeball')


...

… Upon experiencing my--POTENTIAL--new car,

… I thought:

"MMM, that's like French-kissing FREEDOM."
(--Steven Colbert, Pistachios-commercial)


...

ADMIT your MISTAKES!

…
"You know what's WORSE than being a LOSER?!
…
A guy who CAN'T ADMIT that he played it wrong."
(--'21')


P,S, I can SEMI-"count cards",
(… SSSHHH!  Don't tell Vegas!)

(… SIGH, CHUCKLE.
"It's all MATH."--'21')


...

MAJOR (POTENTIAL) acquisition

… Today I tested out a VAN (Chrysler-Town & Country) that can transport me, WHILE I sit in my (HEAVY) MOTORIZED-wheelchair!

It was a GREAT, COMFORTABLE, SMOOTH ~30-minute drive/ride around Davie, Florida,
(I EVEN "felt the FLOW" on the highway!

(… As ENCOURAGING/PROMISING as that "trip" was, my uncle paid the salesman a SMALL amount to just "RESERVE the vehicle" for ME.)


(MORE later …)

SCHOLAR/ATHLETE

…

So, I just read an article about the STRONG EMPHASIS that the University of Minnesota-wrestling team puts on being a STEADY (See subject.). 

(… Granted, I'm KINDA biased, 'cuz I attended a summer-"WRESTLING" camp there in high school.)

Combining MENTAL fortitude with PHYSICAL dominance amid the CONSTANT "distractions"/commitments of the collegiate atmosphere is an UNDER-APPRECIATED, "EXTREMELY DIFFICULT" task!

(… I KNOW from experience--COINCIDENTALLY, wrestling.)

...

(It's PHONETIC Turkish:)

…
'PROH-blehm-LEHR VAHR!'
(('There ARE problemS(PLURAL)!'))

...

A WISE person once said:

…
"NEVER let your friends feel LONELY.
Disturb them ALL THE TIME."

(… "DISTURB them" is a phrase that's VERY MUCH "open to interpretation".
Personally, with my IN-ability to CONSISTENTLY, COGENTLY speak, I canNOT just call up a buddy to CHAT.  Also, my IN-ability to WALK and/or DRIVE renders me a bit STATIONARY.
(  : (  )
Ergo, I like/LOVE to HOST parties.
Finally, I DESPISE that TOO MANY people are IGNORANT to/of the MIRACLE of SCIENCE/DETERMINATION that is I (NOT "me", 'cuz it's a "predicate nominative").



P.S. The fact that all the "NORMS" (That's what I'm gonna call those who CAN walk and talk.)
(… No, I am NOT a MIDGET on 'Seinfeld'.)



...

Boy, was she WRONG!

…
"People DON'T 'CHANGE'.  …"
(--some PESSIMISTIC mother--at the BEGINNING of 'Hoosiers')

… So, the high school basketball team of the boy in question goes on to win the state championship--thereby proving her so WRONG!

(… METAPHORICALLY, my "state title" is … WALKING.)


...

My RECOVERY-process:

…
"It's the 'HARD' that makes it GREAT."
((--Jimmy Doogan (Tom Hanks), 'A League of Their Own'))


..,

No one KNOWS he/she will be a "CHAMPION".

… You've GOTTTA "WORK"
to EARN that level of
"GREATNESS".

(… "If it were EASY, then EVERYONE would do it."


...

--The Oracle, 'The Matrix Reloaded'

…
"We're ALL here to do what we're all HERE TO DO."

…
"We CANNOT 'see' the decisions we do NOT make."


(… Thus, EVERYTHING takes me a TAD LONGER to accomplish.
I MUST first "contemplate the weight of the PROS versus the CONS".)



...

I don't know WHY I didN'T "put TWO & TWO together"!

…
I graduated seven years ago from the ESTEEMED University of Pennsylvania
with a degree in "Biomedical Engineering".
(… Well, TECHNICALLY, it's "Bioengineering".)
(… But, the MAJORITY of the studies dealt with medicine for HUMANS.)

…
Well, my aunt--a VERY SKILLED nurse in Minnesota--is visiting for a few days.
It's ABOUT TIME I expressed my interest in her WORK.


...

(Ha ha HA!) I PLANNED that!

…
So, I was BORN on April 8th--DIRECTLY between "April FOOL's Day" (April 1st) and "National High-Five Day" (April 15th).

Also, April 15th is Tax-Day, and I'm always "VOICING my opinion" to CONSTANTLY monitor your FINANCIAL-situation.

Ergo, I "SPRANG FORTH" into this world ONE WEEK after "the FOOL's holiday" yet ONE WEEK before TAXES are DUE.

…
"… How long is that?"
"Seven days."
"Hours?"
"One hundred sixty eight … hours."
"Minutes?"
"Four thousand thirty two … minutes."
"Seconds?"
"Two hundred forty one THOUSAND, nine hundred and twenty … SECONDS."
(--'Rain Man' … AND me)


"HIGH-five" for my METICULOUS nature?!
(… Oh, yeah.  I'm in a WHEELCHAIR.)
… "LOW-five"?!


...

"Use" the PAST to "build" a better FUTURE.

…

CONTRARY to popular belief:

My TUMULTUOUS, HIGH/LOW past has NOT

Defined me,
Destroyed me,
Deterred me or
Defeated me.

…
("Alliteration aside."--'Dodgeball')

It has only STRENGTHENED me.


...

Blog-CREATOR--to me" (CHUCKLE) "I thought only PANZEES (ride in a WHEELCHAIR)."

…

MY retort: (Ha ha HA!) "I thought only ASSHOLES used the word, 'panzee'."

(--'Footloose')

According to SOME BOOK/CHAPTER in the Bible:

"Do NOT judge, lest ye be judged."

...

I'm TRYIN'!

…
"WORK hard.
PLAY hard.
…
SLEEP hard."
(--Jackie Chan--a FELLOW martial artist)


My neighbor's dog has since SHUT UP--THANKFULLY ("Knock on wood.").  Yet, STILL, I seem to ALWAYS have SUMTHIN' "on my mind".

(… THAT reminds me: IF an Attacker executes a LEFT-FOOTED 'mawashi geri' (Japanese for 'roundhouse kick') at my head--while I lie ON MY BACK, ON THE GROUND.  …)

(… I have a KIDS' 'Jujitsu'-class to TEACH tomorrow morning,
SO I should begin "counting Z''s".)

(… PRE-accident, I TAUGHT classes for KIDS.  So, I'm JUST "gettin' back in the flow".



...

When "opportunity knocks",

… be SURE to "ANSER IT".

'Carpe diem.'

"SEIZE the OPPORTUNITY."

If you're gonna GO, go ALL-OUT.

EVERYONE struggles at/in SOME STUFF.
But, AT LEAST strive for the "'A' for effort"!


...

"A day LATE and a dollar SHORT."

…
YESTERDAY was "National High-Five Day".

HEY!  At least I mentioned it.
(… "RANDOM high-five for a MENIAL act"--'Seinfeld')


...

"TIME--as you (the readers) know--is a RELATIVE consideration."

…
I've spent the last five years, nine months, one week and three days in one of TWO COMAS, a wheelchair OR lying SUPINE--'cuz of my "peg-tube".
(It has SEEMED like MOST of my life!
HOWEVER, ~6/~29 = ~0.2333.)
(… Thus, 23.33% < 51% NEEDED to MINIMALLY constitute "MOST".)

...
"I need a NEW BODY."
(--Lincoln Rhyme, 'The Bone Collector')


...

"I've got on my 'BIG-BOY pants'!"

… --'The Other Guys'

UNFORTUNATELY--for him, today I had to FIRE my first employee.
After I explained to this person how I'd given "IT" (I MUST "protect" the anonymity--which INCLUDES gender.) NUMEROUS chances AND warnings, "IT" tried to have a "PITY-PARTY"/"SYMPATHY-SOIREE" by mentioning "IT"'s family.
"IT" tried "playing dumb" and ACTED like "IT" did NOT see this coming.
(It was NOT much of an "ACT".)
(… Translation: "IT"'s "not the SHARPEST tool in the shed"/"not the BRIGHTEST crayon in the box".)

It (The firing) HAD TO (FINALLY) be done!


...

"I've got 'GONORRHEA'."

…
(--Cosmo Kramer on what affliction he's supposed to act out on 'Seinfeld')

(… I just that THAT was VERY funny.)

(… It's ALL in the 'DELIVERY' … of the JOKE/ACTING--not the ACTUAL disease.!)


…

"Do you KNOW what it's like to NOT be able to USE your LEGS?!"

…
"UH, yessir, I do."


…
"I was 'Lieutenant' (A.J. Kaynatma)."
(Blog-Creator): "You STILL are 'Lieutenant' (A.J. Kaynatma)."


...
"We got more money than Davy Crocket."


(--'Forrest Gump')

(PRE-accident, I was a TREMENDOUS ping pong player!)


...

… AGAIN, I've got BOTH!

…
"It ain't ALL MUSCLE.
It's ALL HEART!"
(--Rocky Balboa, 'Rocky V')

… I'm developing some "SERIOUS" "muhs-kihl" via my TERRIFIC workouts at BOTH "NeuroFit 360" (LOWER body) AND home (UPPER body).

… Also, I'm UBER-sensitive/-sympathetic/-empathetic.
(… NO, Latin-scholars, I am NOT BAD-"pathetic"!)
I'm also VERY DETERMINED.

(… Staying with the 'Rocky'-theme, y'all might say that I have the "eye of the TIGER".)


...

"I'm so hungry. I'm SSSTAAAHHHVING!"

…
(--Augustus Bloom, old-school 'Charlie & the Chocolate Factory')

"When you have something TAKEN AWAY from you, it makes you 'HUNGRIER' and makes you want it MORE."
(--Star forward Sam Dekker of the University of Wisconsin basketball team)

I--TEMPORARILY (… I use THAT WORD, 'cuz it's ESSENTIAL to NEVER abandon HOPE!)--"lost" the FULL function of my legs.
Now, I've realized just how IMPORTANT (NOT QUITE "ESSENTIAL", 'cuz I'm still VERY MUCH "functioning" … and I can't even SPEAK … that cogently) and VITAL "waking" IS.


MORAL:
"You don't know HOW MUCH you've got, 'til it's GONE."
(… Wasn't that a song?!)
(… Or, SOMETHING to that effect?)



...

(NOT "working AGAINST gravity" HELPS!)

…
So, I was recently "measured"--by my UPPER body trainer--as ~5'7.5" tall.

Since I've NEVER been that "tall", I'm thinkin' that THAT measurement/approximation MAY HAVE a LOGICAL explanation.

Over the last ~5.76 YEARS, I have spent the MAJORITY of my time either SITTING (in a wheelchair) or LYING DOWN (sleeping OR in a coma).

So, MATHEMATICALLY , (I just pushed up my glasses.  My voice just raised an octave AND became QUITE nasal-like/-esque.) that's 

~9.8 m/s^2

NOT "pressing AGAINST" my "rate of GROWTH".

(IF I had a SECOND "point"--i.e. "my height at a DIFFERENT point of time", I could calculate the "DISPLACEMENT".  Then, I would take its DERIVATIVE to determine the "rate of change"--"velocity".  FINALLY, I'd derive THAT function to get my "ACCELERATION of growth".)

...

IT's "in my blood".

…
I'm half-TURKISH.
I competitively WESTLED for both my high school and college (EIGHT years).

A Turkish wrestler won the GOLD medal RECENTLY at the "European Senior WRESTLING Championships".
He won the 125 kg (275 lb.) division.

At the same tournament, a DIFFERENT Turkish wrestler won the BRONZE medal for the
74 kg (162.8 lb.) division.

A Turkish wrestler earned BRONZE in the
70 kg (154 lb.) division.


(There were SEVERAL other "placers", but I won't BORE you with DETAILS
… for NOW.)


...

Be BOLD & DARING.

…
"Anything you're SCARED OF,
…
you should TRY!"
((--Captain America (Chris Evans))

I consider MYSELF a bit of a "risk-taker".
HOWEVER,  do I STILL get "categorized" (… BOO, "passive voice"!) … as such, EVEN THOUGH--before ANY action--I QUICKLY, MENTALLY "weigh the PROS versus the CONS" of said TASK?!

(… YEAH, in high school, I took "'Advanced Placement'/'College-level' Statistics" … as an ELECTIVE!)
(… Cough cough COUGH.  NERD!)

According to "the LAWS of PHYSICS",
"For EVERY ACTION, there is an EQUAL and OPPOSITE REaction."
(… This principle is the MAIN factor in my CONSTANT "calculations".)


...

SUCK … IT … UP!

…
Although I still have ALOTTA MAJOR "obstacles" "before me"--in my RECOVERY,
I MUST--ALWAYS--abide by the saying:

"Do what is RIGHT,
not
what is EASY."

"If it were EASY, then EVERYONE would do it."


...

Work with what you HAVE.

…
A WISE person once said/quipped:

"A person's most USEFUL asset is NOT
a head full of KNOWLEDGE,
…
but a heart full of LOVE,
an ear ready to LISTEN
and a hand ready to HELP."

(… These words PARTICULARLY "ring true" for/to ME.
Since I depend SO MUCH on the KINDNESS and CARE of OTHERS, I try to display my GRATITUDE:

-- I'm almost TOO kind and compassionate.
-- I have EXTRAORDINARY hearing.
(… WAIT!  SSSHHH!  My cousin--in Turkey--is getting frustrated while trying to get her infant-daughter to stop crying.  So, she SIGHED.)
-- Although I ONLY HAVE ~3/5  (three fifths) (60%) of a biologically-/anatomically-"GOOD" hand, I ALWAYS "put in the EFFORT".


...

I am ALOTTA bit of BOTH.

…
"There are two types of people in this world:
There are 'THINKERS', and there are 'DOERS'."
(--Sam Witwikkie, 'Transformers: Dark of the Moon')

Before EVERYTHING I "DO", I QUICKLY "THINK" about the consequences and repercussions of said action.

OVERALL, I've been relatively CONTENT with MY OWN decisions.

(… NO REGRETS!0

Alas, (SIGH( some things I canNOT control …


...

"I'm NOT drunk."

…
(SSSLIZZURRED words)
"I just have … a SSSPEECH-impedidimehent
(VOMIT)…
and a STOMACH-virus
(I fall out of my chair and onto the floor.)  …
and an INNER EAR infection."

(--'Family Guy')


...

Although I JUST celebrated my 29th birthday

… and I "CRUISE around" in a WHEELCHAIR,
I ALWAYS remember:


"You are NEVER too OLD to set a new GOAL or dream a new DREAM."
(--C.S. Lewis)


...

INSPIRING, APPROPRIATE film!

…
Today I watched the movie, '42'.
Now, I am NOT saying I'm the FIRST African-American player in Major League Baseball in the 1940s.
But, I COMMEND Mr. Jackie Robinson for OVERCOMING ODDS, "OBSTACLES" and (blatant) STUPIDITY!


...

I MUST'VE done SUMTHIN' right!

…
Even when I'm NOT teaching, EVERY time I enter my dojo--just to WATCH/VIEW class, I get treated with A GREAT DEAL of RESPECT and CAMARADERIE!

That's just GOOD teaching!

(… 'KUDOS' to my martial arts PROFESSOR.)


...

WOW! That's FOCUS!

…
So, I JUST beat the "EXPERT"-level of "Minesweeper" in a QUITE COMMENDABLE

344 seconds
(= 5 minutes and 44 seconds)
(= 5 11/15 minutes)
(= ~5.73 minutes)

I accomplished this feat DESPITE this nurse SPILLING my "food" on my arm.
(She--this nurse--almost ALWAYS does!
UGH!)

(… Perhaps my PATIENCE is returning/IMPROVING!)
(… OR, maybe my FOCUS is just THAT GOOD!)

Perhaps I should invest in some kind of LENGTHY seminar that teaches people techniques/tactics to HEIGHTEN their FOCUS.
I'd call it:

"A.J.'s Hardcore Concentration Camp"

The ad would say:
"NOT for the faint of heart … OR weak-minded."



(… WHAT?!  Was the reference to Adolf Hitler's HELLHOLES "OVER the line"?
I was JUST referencing a HILARIOUS 'South Park' episode!

… What?!  TOO SOON?!)


...

"We're HERE. We're (definitely NOT) QUEER. Deal with it."

…
(I mean NO OFFENSE to any homosexuals!
I just want to make it CLEAR that I do NOT "swing THAT way".)

ALAS, there was a TRAGIC, UNFORTUNATE MIS-communication--via email--between my "ride" and me.
Ergo, I will NOT go to VIEW my martial arts class--as I do EVERY Thursday evening.

APPROXIMATELY every OTHER Thursday, I CO-teach a 'jujitsu' ('GROUND-fighting') class.


(…
"The ROYAL 'we' … the EDITORIAL."
--'The Big Lebowski')

Moral:
"Shake it off."
"SHIT happens."


...

MINE is VASTLY, DEFINITELY … IMPROVING!

…

"ENDURANCE is one of the most DIFFICULT disciplines.
But, it is the one who ENDURES … that the FINAL 'VICTORY' comes."
(--Buddha)

PERSISTENCE
+
LONGEVITY
+
STAMINA
=
POSITIVE RESULTS

(My motto for my rehab/recovery:
ENDURE the TOUGH times
to REAP the BENEFITS of the LONGTERM results!)

...

'Carpe diem.' (AGAIN)

…
"Everybody gets ONE CHANCE to do something GREAT.
This is (MY) chance."

"Remember: HEROES get remembered.
But, LEGENDS never die."

(--'The Sandlot')
(… I'm watchin' the movie.)


(… That line about HEROES versus LEGENDS is a GREAT analysis of my fraternity-days in college.)

(… Also, it's a GREAT motivational-speech representing my ONGOING "recovery".)



...

… I HAFTA BEAT … myself!

…
(In a COMPETITION!)
(… SICKOS)


"If you continuously compete with … OTHERS, you become bItter.
But, if you continuously compete with YOURSELF, you become bEtter."
(--Charlie Murphy)



...

(I NEVER let it be a BAD/RUDE/DELETERIOUS quality!

…

AH, "deleterious"--GOOD WORD!

(("Write that down."--Michael Scott (Steve Carell), 'The Office'))

Even PRIOR to my accident, I was/am a VERY COMPETITIVE person.

(… Maybe it's from my "SICK"/"CRAZY" OBSESSION with NUMBERS!)

However, I just have the self-control and COMMON SENSE to NOT "rub (the results) in PEOPLE'S FACES"!


...

… Is it anatomically-POSSIBLE to grow "eyes in the BACK OF MY HEAD"?!

…
I've GOTTA be MORE careful of what I say/POST!

...
"ICAN'T GO to JAIL!
Do you know WHAT HAPPENS to a GOOD-LOOKING guy like ME in JAIL?!
…
It rhymes with 'GRAPE'!"
(--'21 Jump Street')


...

I'm "shakin' things up".

…
"I need a new NUMBER 2.
My IDEAL choice: Jack Bauer.
But, he's UNAVAILABLE, FICTIONAL and OVERQUALIFIED."
(--Dwight "FART" Schrute, 'The Office')

Seriously, SOME of my "EMPLOYEES"--UNFORTUNATELY--do NOT seem to take my brother--my CURRENT "second-in-command"--TOO SERIOUSLY.

(… If you wanna be LITERAL, then, YES, he IS rather humorous.
But, if you understand my METAPHORICAL "straight-face", then y'all will think,

"BOO!")


...

… In honor of this (4/8/14) HISTORIC occasion,

… 'CARPE DIEM!'

(… I MAY or may NOT be a a member of the "'Dead Poet's Society'".)
(… GREAT film!)




P.S. That's Latin for 'Seize the day.'


...

So, I am REALLY startin' to SEE some of the (POSITIVE) results of my DAILY exercise.

…
I'm considering COMMEMORATING a TRIBUTE to my DAILY routine by starting a law-firm:

"'Squats & Lunges'"  .
*--'The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon')


...

(SIGH) #29

…
So, today's my BIRFDAY.
If ANYONE says to me:
"You look OLDER",
I can "READ … between the lines" that that person is REALLY implying something else.

That person would MEAN:
"A.J., you look like (metaphorical) CRAP."

My reply/RETORT:
"That's not even a 'BACKHANDED-COMPLIMENT'.
So, APPARENTLY, I resemble AGED DUNG."


From a more POSITIVE outlook, I've ALREADY accomplished a GREAT DEAL.
Yet, there are still PLENTY MORE "obstacles" for ME to still "OVERCOME"!


...

… I can REALLY relate to this movie!

…
I'm CURRENTLY watching 'The Bone Collector'.

(I--like "Lincoln Rhyme"--was CATASTROPHICALLY disabled/handicapped/bed-ridden as a result of some UNFORTUNATE accident.
We BOTH are VERY INTELLIGENT.
We BOTH are VERY FINANCIALLY-SECURE.
We BOTH are QUITE CLEVER/RESOURCEFUL in utilizing our--respective--devices/resources.

(… However, HE still possesses the ability to CONSISTENTLY, COGENTLY speak.)
(… ALL in due time.)

(I'm wearing my VERY FUNNY "Pirate Obituaries" shirt.)

((… "If (I'm) gonna be CRUISIN' (on my motorized wheelchair),
(I) might as well be AMUSIN'.")
(--aforementioned film)



...

… I was REALLY BRASH, EXHAUSTED, FRUSTRATED and NOT thinking CLEARLY,

… when I stated my UTTER/COMPLETE HATRED of my neighbor's LACK OF control over his/her dog.

On SECOND THOUGHT:

"We WON'T use GUNS
but a lot of WORD-BULLETS."
(--'Workaholics')

(…
"The ROYAL 'We'.  The EDITORIAL …"
--'The Big Lebowski')


...

"CCCEEEEEELEBRATE good times. COME ON!"

…
Either YESTERDAY or TODAY is/was

"National Student-Athlete Day".


I was an EXCELLENT student!
(High school VALEDICTORIAN, Ivy League college ALUM, etc.)

I was/am an EXTRAORDINARY athlete!
(21+ years of MARTIAL ARTS training, eight years of COMPETITIVE WRESTLING, youth-years of competitive BASKETBALL and SOCCER, etc.)


...

"I am NOT an 'ANIMAL'. I AM a HUMAN BEING."

…
(--'Elephant Man')


…
"Just call me ''Frankenstein's monster''."
(--Magneto, 'X-Men: First Class')


...

UGH! AAARRRGGGHHH!

…
FINE, You WANNA "play it like THAT"?!

…
THREE DIFFERENT times I've had "my people" ask my neighbors to BETTER control their dog, and get it to STOP barking so LOUDLY and FREQUENTLY!
Yet the CACOPHONY of CANINE-BELLOWS continue!
EVEN at NIGHT, the LOUD animal-"SCREAMS" HAUNT my thoughts and PREVENT my SLEEPING!

(… The dog probably LACKS a Y-chromosome, 'cuz it's a BITCH!)
(… FEMALE canine = "bitch")

LUCKY for THEM, I do NOT own a firearm, 'cuz I would NOT hesitate to "put that 'living NIGHTMARE' "out of its (MY) MISERY"!

IF my "'hood" were an "old-school" comedic television-series, it'd be ''Who's the Boss?''
(… ANSWER: It'd DEFINITELY NOT be THAT … HUMAN!)
(… That's TRULY … PATHETIC.)



...

IT is what I DO.

…
"There is GENIUS in DEFYING EXPECTATIONS."
(--'Finding Forrester')


...

(SHIFTING/ALTERING my personality)

…
JEEZ!  Could my neighbors be any MORE ANNOYING/INCONSIDERATE"ASSHOLE-LIKE"?!

They "BLAST" music--QUITE LOUDLY--on their stereo at ALL HOURS of the day … AND NIGHT!
(… I have NOT been sleeping very well lately, thanks to them/that.)

Initially, the music was almost all Latin "tunes", so I thought they were just VERY PROUD OF their culture.  Nothin' wrong with that.
But lately, the CACOPHONY of noisy "CRAP" is more of a "grab-bag" of musical "SHIT"!

(… I hope their butts like the "taste" of LOWER-body appendages/extremities, 'cuz I WANNA SAY to them:
"I'm gonna SHOVE my FOOT up your ASS!"
--Red Foreman, 'That 70s Show')

I really do NOT care, if someone tells them I'm a JERK!
In fact, THREATS and VERBAL "pain" are A LOT BETTER--for them--than the PHYSICAL "damage" I would--ONLY THREATEN to--inflict … should their INSOLENCE continue.

(… I KNOW they've ALREADY been WARNED about their EXCESSIVELY/RIDICULOUSLY LOUD, OBNOXIOUS, ANNOYING, DEAFENING music!)



...

She's just TRYIN' to be ME.

…

(Actually, it's a "predicate nominative", so the CORRECT pronoun-usage would be

"tryin' to be I".)

UFC (WOMEN'S) bantamweight Ronda Rousey CLAIMS that she "doesn't FEEL pain".
She says:
"It's just my nerve-receptors tellin' me to switch it up.  But, there's not any actual PAIN."


PRIOR to my accident, I was SOMEWHAT training in MMA ("Mixed Martial Arts").
(PLUS, at the time, I had OVER 15 YEARS of martial arts-training, -studying and -teaching "under my belt".)
(PAUSE to applaud the "FITTING" pun.  … AGAIN!)

SINCE my accident, I'm nowhere "NEAR" being in the OUTSTANDING physical/athletic shape/condition I WAS in around the turn of the century.


ALSO, I have (I'm feelin' around to CHECK … YEP!) EX-ternal genitalia, a Y-chromosome AND an adam's apple.  Thus--Therefore--Hence--Consequently--Ergo, I would NOT "qualify" to compete in the WOMEN'S bracket.


FURTHERMORE, the UFC (WOMEN'S) "bantamweight" division is for (FEMALE) fighters between the weights of
126 and 135 pounds.
In other words, I'd have to be my wrestling-weight … IN HIGH SCHOOL.
((During my FOUR YEARS wrestling PRE-college, I wrestled at

freshman --119 lb
sophomore -- 119 lb
junior -- 125 lb
senior -- 135 lb (I discovered alcohol.  SSSHHH!))

Since I'm ~142 pounds NOW, I'd need to "CUT some weight" … via EXERCISE--not SURGERY!
(… STOP being so LITERAL!)
(… My blog-CREATOR: "Ha ha HA!  Do NOT be LITERAL?!  'That's the pot calling the kettle black.'"
My retort: "'I know you are, but what am I?
… Also, SHUT UP, and go play with your dinosaurs."


...

Peer-INFLUENCE

… DAMNIT!

After yet another GREAT WORKOUT at my gym, one of my employees UPSET ME!
As a result of my UN-happy TIRADE, I've--UNFORTUNATELY--been "SNAPPING" at those "CLOSER" (metaphorically) to me.

(… "CAUSE and EFFECT")


...

''C'est la vie.''

… (French for 'Such is life.')

…
"EVERY man is RESPONSIBLE for (HIS) OWN DESTINY."
(--'Mortal Kombat')

Consequently, I have NO ONE to blame for my TRAGIC, CATASTROPHIC car-accident but MYSELF.
I'm NOT gonna "pass the buck".

If I'm REALLY "The ONE",  then I SHOULD'VE … "sensed" my "BAD tire" and dealt with it accordingly.


...