"SERENITY NOW!"

…

"INSANITY later."

(--'Seinfeld')

I've been deemed "insane","crazy", "WEIRD" and "RETARDED" by IGNORANT (= "UN-knowing") "tool-bags".

Well, THIS "Traumatically Brain-Injured" "SUFFERER" WAS very/quite "CLEAR-minded" in "SERENITY".
But NOW, I'm a SANE, COMPETENT business-owner/operator who "MANAGES" seven "EMPLOYEES".

_____________________________________________________________________________

I WAS quite HAPPY & CONTENT with my life BEFORE the IN-famous afternoon of July 6th, 2008 (my car-ACCIDENT).

…
"When will 'THEN' be 'NOW'?!"
(To myself:)
"You JUST missed it."
(--'Spaceballs')

_____________________________________________________________________________

I've learned of YET ANOTHER one of my "WEAK-POINTS":
I caN'T "play DUMB".
My mother
(… I refer to her as "MOTHER", when I'm UPSET, and "MOM" when I'm more JOVIAL/"MYSELF".) hired some FOREIGN guy (a "caregiver"--withOUT my consent.

(… DoN'T get me WRONG!
I certainly ADMIRE & RESPECT a FELLOW BI-cultural POLY-glot.  However, the RIDICULOUSLY-frustrating issue is that his "fluidity" with the ENGLISH-language "leaves MUCH to be desired" … & is getting WORSE!


((… ACTUALLY, I MAY have agreed to his HIRING.
But, my FORGETFULNESS, POOR JUDGMENT and (OCCASIONALLY) 'hablando en espan~ol' is NO EXCUSE for NOT "following-THROUGH" with my---AND my mom's--REPEATED SUGGESTIONS/REQUESTS/INSTRUCTIONS/ORDERS to get MORE COMFORTABLE with ENGLISH-speaking, -spelling/-understanding "A.S.A.P."!))

(… SIGH!)


...

"The measure of INTELLIGENCE is the ability to CHANGE."

…
(--Albert Einstein)

________________________________________________________________________

SOMETIMES,
"I CAN" > "IQ".

TODAY I thought I'd "TEST" that THEORY.
I was in "my SECOND home" (… "my MARTIAL ARTS dojo"), where I showed just TWO of MY (DESIGNED) 'Jiujitsu'-techniques--for the KIDS'-class--to the ADULTS' class.

AFTER said techniques, I felt IMPELLED/INSPIRED to "SHOW-OFF" my PROGRESS!
So, I "STOOD UP"out of my wheelchair … ALONE/UN-assisted, and I "gave a 'thumbs-UP'" to my FELLOW 'Karateka'.
After "STANDING" ALONE for ~15 seconds, it became EVIDENT that my EFFORT was "TOO MUCH" for my INTELLIGENCE:
I "grew" OFF-BALANCED and stumbled BACKWARDS & to MY LEFT.
(… THANKFULLY, my caregiver was there to "CATCH"/"SUPPORT" me!)

________________________________________________________________________

"ALL of science is nothing more than the
REFINEMENT of EVERYDAY-THINKING."
(--Albert Einstein)

I am CONSTANTLY "THINKING"!
(… I should probably STOP doing that SOON, out of FEAR I might develop some EARLY face-wrinkles.)
(… Or, is THAT just an "old WIFE/MOTHERS's TALE"?)

________________________________________________________________________

…
(REJECTING a "fortune-cookie":)
"There's only ONE cookie that has the ANSWER to Life's problems … and THAT's an Oreo."
(--Sheldon, 'The Big Bang Theory')

(… Personally, I ALSO feel that "'fortune-cookies' are just MALARKEY"!--Sheldon)

… During that SAME episode of 'The Big Bang Theory', DR. Sheldon Cooper "CHANGES his stance" on his NON-belief in "PSYCHICS", thus "SECURING a LONG-lasting relationship" with his FEMALE-"interest".
(… So, should I ALTER my BLATANT DIS-regard of those who CLAIM to "READ"/PREDICT the FUTURE?!)

…
"Don't be RIDICULOUS:
I have NO 'peers'!"
(--Sheldon)


...

EMBRACE your ECCENTRICITIES/QUIRKS/ODDITIES/IDIOSYNCRASIES!

…

(I'm talking to MYSELF:)

"What makes you 'WEIRD' 

is probably what makes you GREAT!"

(… WOW!  What a TERRIFIC audience!)

(… "Audience" = ME)

(… Is the JOKE still FUNNY, if I have to EXPLAIN it?!)

_____________________________________________________________________________

(PAY ATTENTION, … A.J.!)
Accept YOURSELF … for  the GLORY, WONDER & AMAZEMENT that you ARE.
If people REFUSE to "take you IN", RESPECT & COMMEND you for your "UNBELIEVABLE" (No, that's POOR "diction"/word-choice".  How 'bout "PRAISEWORTHY"?!) feats, then "their LOSS".

_____________________________________________________________________________

We ALL have our RESPECTIVE niche/"strength(S)"/"virtue".
MINE are
-- MENTAL-math
-- (RANDOM) SPORTS-trivia/OBSESSIONS
-- "MARTIAL ARTS"-knowledge & -understanding
-- SOCIAL-comfort, -"flexibility" & -entertainment
-- GENEROSITY
-- LOGIC
-- "WISDOM BEYOND my age"
-- HEALTH-knowledge
--DETERMINATION
-- CINEMATIC-appreciation

____________________________________________________________________________

…
EVERYDAY I seek/TRY to INCREASE my "INDEPENDENCE"!
I YEARN to accomplish MORE activities … on MY OWN.
(… I JUST pushed UP/OFF my chair-legrests to--MANUALLY/UN-assistedly pull-OUT a VERY UNCOMFORTABLE wedgie!)

____________________________________________________________________________

What a FANTASTIC/IDEAL "SPEECH therapy"-session!
(… No, it's NOT just 'cuz I--EASILY--won in/at Scrabble by 23 points.)
I ATE--via MOUTH--ALL of TWO scrambled eggs.  AND, I TALKED/CHATTED … A LOT!
(… After my victory, I commented:
"Everyone has HIS OR HER day."
(… How PLEASANTLY IRONIC that I used PROPER grammar to my "SPEECH therapist"!)

_____________________________________________________________________________

For ANOTHER GREAT workout at "NeuroFit 360", I "demonstrated" my SPECTACULAR application of staff's advice!
I STOOD up--ALONE--from a CUSHIONED "table".  Then, I grabbed a SMALL, stuffed turtle-toy off another table.  With my LEFT arm at my side, I'd grab a "TUR-TLE"(--'Tosh.O') with my RIGHT hand and TRY TO toss said stuffed turtle-toy into a basket ~SIX feet away--on the ground.  Of my THREE trials of TEN turtle-tosses, I made 2 turtles into the bucket the FIRST time.  Then, I went 3 of 10.  Finally, I went 1 for ten.
So, OVERALL, I shot 6 of 30 … or 20%.
(… I was MARGINALLY content with my "performance", … considering my PRE-accident, BOTCHED RIGHT-forearm surgery has left me UNABLE to FULLY-open my RIGHT hand.)

… Ergo, i utilized my COMPETITIVE-nature, my indefatigable-DETERMINATION & my seemingly natural ATHLETIC-prowess to accomplish this PHENOMENAL feat … while "STANDING" … ALONE!

...

QUESTIONABLE "HELP-utensils":

…

Some people--like MYSELF--aren't JUST "missing a SCREW".
…
They're missing the "WHOLE DAMN TOOLBOX!

______________________________________________________________________________

"Just because the PAST didn't turn-out like you wanted it to, doesn't mean that your FUTURE can't be BETTER than you EVER imagined."
(--'The Light Within')

(… You've GOTTA "WORK" NOW in order to "REAP the BENEFITS" LATER!)

______________________________________________________________________________

"We're ALL … SCARED.
We ALL have … FEAR.
Those people who SAY they are fearLESS
are just PRETENDING."
(--Andrea Owen)

(… I'll admit:
I STILL have a NUMBER of FEARS!
(… IS there some-ONE/some-THING under my bed?!
… IS it in my closet?)

… In order to HELP "conquer"/"defeat" your FEARS, you HAFTA surround yourself with a POSITIVE team!

_____________________________________________________________________________

(WARNING)
RARELY, I will go "a FEW" ("three") days withOUT "evacuating my BOWELS".
(… CONTRARY to the ADAMANT "opinion" of my VERY STUPID, MORONIC, SHORT-SIGHTED, EGOCENTRIC Gastro-Intestinal EX-"doctor",
Yet, TODAY, after ~"THREE days" of "inactivity", I "dropped my most SOLID deuce" in ~SIX YEARS!
Yet, that OBVIOUS SHORT-SIGHTED, DUMB-ASSED "doctor" STILL INSISTS that I'm "WAY OVERDUE for a" FUCKIN' "ENEMA!"
(… How 'bout I just BYPASS any/ALL medical-"instruments", and just "SPRAY-FART"/"SHART" on/in said EX-"G.I. doctor"'s FACE?!)

P.S. I made TWO LARGE "FECAL-deposits" TODAY.
So, "EAT IT", "Doc!
(… RELAX!  "Eat it" is just SLANG for "In yo' FACE!")

_____________________________________________________________________________

As is my custom/ritual on Thursday-afternoons, I attended my (KIDS') Karate-class … JUST to WATCH and NOT TEACH.
They're ALL doing VERY WELL!
"BANG-A-RANG, ('Karateka' -- 'Karate-students')!"
(… Excuse me.  I'm watching 'Hook'.)

…
Speaking of THAT cinematic-MASTERPIECE, "I think I just had an APOSTROPHE."(--Smee, 'Hook')
"Smee, … I think

(… I'd say I'm DUE for a "VACATION".
I think I've EARNED some "BREAK-time"!)



...

FURTHER--NOT "FARTHER"--IMPROVEMENT!

…
"FURther" expresses/denotes a "degree of intensity".  While "FARther" expresses/denotes a "distance".
Ergo, my PROGRESS is QUALITATIVELY "SOLID"!
However, I still canNOT complete a
26.2 mile MARATHON-trek.

(… Perhaps I should add "COMPLETE a MARATHON" to my "Bucket-list".)

______________________________________________________________________________

I BEGAN my morning with my "REGULAR"/HABITUAL/CONSISTENT/"ROUTINE" "TREK"
'al banyo porque mi scapa la pipi'.
(… Did I just COMBINE/"SMUSH TOGETHER" Spanish & Italian?  … Is it still UNDERSTANDABLE?!)
Foreign-jargon/-lexicon/-miscommunications ASIDE, I took 64--UN-assisted--"STEPS" during my "WALK" TO my toilet & 66--UN-assisted--"STEPS" BACK to bed.
(… That 65.0 AVERAGE "STEP"-count "backs up" my CLAIM of my slight-IMPROVEMENT.
(… I USUALLY COMPLETE said "TREK" in ~68 "STEPS".)

_____________________________________________________________________________

After my THIRD "meal" of the day, (I "eat" FIVE times on weekdays.  My "feeding-schedule" VARIES as my "activity-schedule" VARIES over the weekendS.) I "WALKED"--from bed--to AGAIN urinate.  ("What goes IN … MUST come OUT.")
My initial "TREK"--FROM bed--needed 62 "STEPS", and my "RETURN-TREK" required 64 "STEPS".

_____________________________________________________________________________

'Unutum.'
(PHONETICALLY -- 'Oo-noo-TOOM.')
(Turkish for 'I forget.')

I got my hair TRIMMED yesterday.
"Kip"--brother of 'Napoleon' Dynamite saw me--PRE-haircut--and MISTOOK me for a GIRL!
He described me thus:

"She's got sandy, brown hair; a real, REAL pretty face.  … I'm just gettin' really 'T.O.ed', 'cuz she (ME) hasN'T sent me a full-body shot yet!"

Also, my "hairdresser" TRIMMED my 'goatee' … which I REALLY NEEDED & APPRECIATED!
Since, I've developed GREAT 'rapport' with him (my haircut-guy) AND his kids in the three different times I've gone there, he did NOT monetarily-CHARGE me for the FACIAL-hair trim!
(So, I "kicked-in" a largeR tip.)

____________________________________________________________________________

At "NeuroFit 360" today, I--PAINLESSLY--weight-shifted as I moved along a cushioned table--ON MY KNEES--APPROXIMATELY (~) 5 feet (~1.55 meters).
YAY!
Also, I "WALKED" on the treadmill for 7 minutes & 12 seconds on "Speed-2" (out of 5), then 4 more  minutes & 47 seconds on "Speed 3", took a SHORT break to sit down then FINISHED the last 8 minutes & 1 second on "Speed 4" for 20:00 STRAIGHT minutes of "WALKING".
YAY for INCREASED endurance!

____________________________________________________________________________

ADDITIONALLY, I "WALKED" 86 "STEPS" from my living-room to 'mi banyo' to "RELEASE my BLADDER-tension--via URINE" into 'mi  toilette'.  I "WALKED" 78 "STEPS" to get back into/onto my wheelchair.
Later, I completed this "WALKING-TREK" AGAIN.  Said "TREK" took 82 "STEPS" followed by 76 "STEPS".

_____________________________________________________________________________

"WALKING"-math:
TO the toilet -- 64 + 62 + 86 + 82 = 294 "STEPS"
FROM the toilet -- 66 + 64 + 78 + 76 = 284 "STEPS"

To "follow" PROPER "MATHEMATICAL-pricedure, I shaN'T take the "AVERAGE" of the FOUR "points", 'cuz the THIRD & FOURTH "points" {86, 78} {82, 76} have DIFFERENT "STARTING-" & "FINISHING-" "points".


...

A day to PONDER about MY bodily-DISagreements:

…
I THOUGHT I was a "MORNING-person".
But, I guess my "brain-to-muscle"-nerve fibers "beg to DIFFER".

At 5:14 am I got "the URGE" …
to "evacuate my BLADDER".
So, I began my--MOSTLY steady but ALWAYS painLESS--"TREK" to 'mi banyo'.

THANK GOODNESS my "caregiver" is "on the ball", 'cuz I had a MAJOR-stumble during my 12th--of 68--COMPLETELY INDEPENDENT "WALKING-steps" to "RELIEVE myself"--via my STANDING … & URINATING INTO my "porcelain THRONE"!
I AGAIN ALMOST "bit the dust" during my 62-step "return-TREK".  On my--ATTEMPTED--eighth "WALKING-step", I STUMBLED--NOT as BAD/SERIOUS as my first "misstep", but it was UN-pleasant nonetheless.

So, there were TWO MIS-calculated "WALKING-steps" out of 130 TOTAL steps.
HHHMMM, that's ~1.54%.
That'd be ~98.46% of my "WALKING-steps" are "HEALTHY"/ACCURATE.
(… Since I WAS in the "Bioengineering"-field, I'm gonna "round that UP" to say my "WALKING" is "98.6 degrees"/percent "HEALTHY"/accurate.)

_______________________________________________________________________________

So, I doN'T have much PLANNED today.
I've JUST got my "UPPER body"-workout.
So, I'll "twiddle my thumbs" and "PONDER my EXISTENCE" … which the "DUMB-ASS government" STILL doubts I POSSESS!
(… Un-FREAKIN'-believable!)
I "THINK"/believe government-officials "suck ASS"/"DRAG society DOWN"!
To quote the GREAT French philosopher (in Latin):
'Cogito ergo sum.'
('I THINK, therefore I AM.')




(… I "misplaced" THIS "blog-post". )
OOPS!


...

ADAPTATION … & "GROWTH"

…

There's NO POINT in STRESSING over something you canNOT change.

Move ON & grow strongER.

"DoN'T 'sweat' the SMALL stuff."

"Grant me the SERENITY to ACCEPT the things I canNOT change,

the COURAGE to change the things I CAN 

and the WISDOM to know the DIFFERENCE."

(--'Serenity Prayer', Reinhold Niebuhr)

_______________________________________________________________________________

"The ONLY THINGs that 'stands' between YOU & what you WANT outta life are the WILL to TRY and the FAITH to BELIEVE it's POSSIBLE."
(--'Fitness World')

(… You/I/We have GOTTA HAVE that "NEVER-say-DIE"-attitude!)

______________________________________________________________________________

My MAIN "LIFE-strategies" during my RECOVERY/REHAB are

"TRIAL & ERROR" and
"LEARN from my MISTAKES".

(… Although my EFFORTS don't ALWAYS produce SUCCESS,
I'm a "QUICK-learner" and a harsh-CRITIC of MYSELF.)

______________________________________________________________________________

(NBA star/MVP Kevin Durant--regarding his offseason:)
"THIS is when we put in the MOST 'work'."

(… I've been on MY "OFFseason" for the past SIX YEARS, THREE MONTHS, FOUR WEEKS & ONE DAY.)
Thus, I ALTERED my "WORK"-"routine" AND -"schedule".)

_____________________________________________________________________________

About a month or SO ago, my "UPPER body"-trainer measured my HEIGHT as
~5' 7.5".
(… I've NEVER been THAT … TALL!)
(… My THEORY is as follows:
"Since I doN'T stand AS MUCH/OFTEN, GRAVITY does NOT "PULL DOWN" on my body/legs AS MUCH/OFTEN."
(… I did NOT state "as STRONG", because I KNOW/UNDERSTAND that "the FORCE of GRAVITY" is a CONSTANT … of 9.81 meters per second per second.)



...

You … I … We … HAFTA have DETERMINATION!

…

It's VERY HARD/TOUGH/DIFFICULT to BEAT a person who NEVER "gives up".


___________________________________________________________________________


I've encountered NUMEROUS/COUNTLESS "OBSTACLES" along my "recovery-" AND "LIFE-path"/-process".
Yet, STILL, I MUST "trudge" ONWARD!


___________________________________________________________________________


…
So, I was LATE getting HOME last night, 'cuz I went OUT with a friend to see the PHENOMENAL film, 'John Wick'.
WOW!
I've NEVER been a FAN of GUNS/FIREARMS.  (As a LONG-TIME mixed martial artist, I'm A BIT biased toward HAND-to-HAND/BARE-fisted COMBAT.) I feel that--STRANGE as this may SEEM--GUNS are a WUSSY/WEAK/SCARED way of handling MAJOR-altercations.
But, "John Wick" (played by actor Keanu Reeves) does an EXEMPLARY job of COMBINING TERRIFIC "HAND-fighting" with an actually ENTERTAINING "shoot-'em-up".


___________________________________________________________________________


(AUDIBLE sigh)
There's NO SUCH THING as "a SIMPLE life".
Nonetheless, I "SUCK … IT … UP", and "DO what I MUST".
(… which--LATELY--seems like … A LOT)


___________________________________________________________________________


What a TREMENDOUS WORKOUT at my LEG-gym, "NeuroFit 360"--today!
I tried this NEW/DIFFERENT exercise today, in which I "straddle" a small, CUSHIONED bench ~TWO FEET above the floor.  I sat--on said "bench"--with my back AGAINST the wall and did 23 SLOW squats.
Then, I TRIE TO push MY OWN back & body COMPLETELY off the wall!
(… I'd SUCCESSFULLY accomplish this "FEAT" on ~one third of my ATTEMPTS.)
On FOUR of my SUCCESSFUL "back-wall REMOVALS", my trainer would REALLY LOWER the pulley I was holding.  I'd THRUST--and MAINTAIN--my HIPS FORWARD--with my back STRAIGHT and eyes UP/STRAIGHT-FORWARD.  My HOLDING/MAINTAINING that "STANDING-ALONE"-position INCREASED in time EACH TRIAL:
~8 seconds --> ~12 seconds --> 17 seconds --> 28 seconds.
(… I LOVE counting/numbers!)


__________________________________________________________________________


ALWAYS have a "NEVER-say-DIE"-attitude!
(… With ME the pun's INTENDED!)


__________________________________________________________________________


UNFORTUNATELY, "COMMON-SENSE" is NOT a GIFT but a PUNISHMENT.
(… You hafta DEAL WITH everyone who doesN'T have IT.)

(… "SPREAD the 'WEALTH'.")



MORAL: YAY!


...

… Yesterday's "DETAILS":

…
So, I went to an evening-viewing of the FANTASTIC Keanu Reeves-film, 'John Wick'!
((… NO, it was NOT a (romantic-)DATE!))

Since the movie-"MAN-… date(?!)" occurred in the evening, AND I was SEATED-UP in my wheelchair EXTRA-LONG, I kinda fell asleep relatively-QUICKLY upon my RETURN to bed.

(… My EARLY "Z"s are VERY UN-orthodox, 'cuz I'm--USUALLY--VERY MUCH a "night-owl"!)


...

No, I did NOT forget to BLOG!

…
I'm just VERY TIRED, after a LONG day of FUN …
at the movies,
driving around
&
with friends.

(…. DETAILS later)

...