'Saat kac(with a SMALL vertical line under the "c")?/'(Upside-down question mark) Que hora es?'

…
('What time is it?' in TURKISH & SPANISH)

…
"Is it ''FREEDOM o'clock''?"

(… I wondered THAT, when I was STUCK at that "good-for-NOTHING", "WASTE-of-time" HELLHOLE--"Florida Institute of Neurologic Rehabilitation".)


…
"Do you wanna 'rape' … AMERICA?!"

(--'Harold & Kumar Escape Guantanamo Bay')


(… I'm NOT gonna LIE:
The THOUGHT "crossed my mind"._


...

We've GOTTA HOPE!

…

If we do NOT "HOPE", 

we will NOT "find" what is BEYOND our 

"HOPES". 

(… My feelings about my CURRENT/TEMPORARY "condition" BEGIN with my "HOPE" of "OVERCOMING" my "handicaps".)

...

… "Because I CHOOSE to."

…

--Neo, 'The Matrix Revolutions'

I CHOOSE to see BEAUTIFUL.

'Circles of Inspiration' by Anna Pereira  

"A BEAUTIFUL day through the rain

A BEAUTIFUL opportunity through the challenge

A BEAUTIFUL soul through the pain"

...

… So, I've noted that I can--OCCASIONALLY--be a bit GRUMPY.

…

My "Biomedical Engineering"-analysis of MY "MOODINESS" would be that I "SUFFER" from OCCASIONAL

"People's Malignant Stupidity".
("P.M.S.")

The FIRST employee I HAD TO FIRE caused me MAJOR headaches, UN-necessary grief, CONSTANT worry, TRUANT, appointment-arrivals and BROKEN furniture.
Thanks for NOTHING!

(… 'Tis "MALIGNANT"--NOT "BENIGN", 'cuz this disorder "HURT"/HARMED me.)




P.S. This "affliction" UNFORTUNATELY troubled me WAY MORE OFTEN than JUST "ONCE a MONTH"!
Try THREE days per WEEK!
(… So, I'd NOT be FUN to be around … AT LEAST 12 DAYS per MONTH!)
(… WHEW, glad THAT'S done!)



...

SELF-diagnosis:

…
I have a FORM/VARIATION of
"P.T.S.D.".
("Post Traumatic Stress Disorder")

I SUFFERED a "TRAUMATIC Brain-Injury" that VERY FREQUENTLY renders me QUITE VOLATILE, IMPATIENT and EMOTIONAL.

I am certainly NOT "taking away ANYTHING" from the IMMENSE pressure, stress and mental-ANGUISH that I IMAGINE  our "VETS"/"MILITARY-OFFICERS" experienced!
(… I'm JUST trying to be CLEVER with acronyms.)

(… "P.T.S.D." could ALSO be

"Pedestrian Temporarily Sitting with Disabilities".)


...

I have FAITH in FOOLS,

…
It's called "SELF-confidence".


(In case y'all could NOT "read between the lines", I am IMPLYING that I AM a "FOOL".)

(… MANY of my peers--about ME: "SMARTEST 'IDIOT' I know!")

(… As a business-owner, my "STRONG trust" in people has caused me NUMEROUS headaches (AAARRRGGGHHH!),misunderstandings and house-problems!)



...

Give people "the BENEFIT of the doubt". (ALWAYS!)

…
"DARKNESS can-NOT 'drive out' darkness; only LIGHT can do that.
HATE can-NOT 'drive out' hate; only LOVE can do that."
--Martin Luther King

… Maybe I'm TOO OPTIMISTIC.
(Who cares?!)
But, 'tis FAR BETTER to be "the LIFE of the PARTY" than to be the/a "DOWNER"!


...

(I'm INTERNALLY speaking.)

…
"Are YOU 'The Keymaker'?
For I am 'The Gatekeeper'."
(--'Ghostbusters 2')

I WILL walk again someday.
(SOON?)
…
"I KNOW, because I MUST.
It is my PURPOSE."
(--The Keymaker, 'The Matrix Reloaded')

Sundays are (partially) VERY ENCOURAGING!
On this ONE day of the week (1/7 = ~14/100 = ~14.285714%), I do ALL of my "WALKING"--to PRACTICE in the morning or when "Nature calls"--with-OUT my caregiver even TOUCHING me!  So, I set my hands in APPROPRIATE, COMFORTABLE positions.  I maintain STRAIGHTENED, "SOLID" back-posture.

HOWEVER, I tend to CONSTANTLY look DOWN at my feet.
(Since, I have NO "TACTILE-support", I--CURRENTLY--lack the CONFIDENCE in my LEGS to step ACCURATELY and with adequate  STRENGTH to TRUST 'em.)

(… ALAS--AGAIN, it is NOT a matter of HOPE, so much as it is an issue of TIME.)

Upon witnessing my PHENOMENAL PROGRESS, my PREVIOUS "doctors" (The " " indicate MY laughter at THEIR pessimistic STUPIDITY.) would utter:
"IM-possible!"
My retort: "NOT 'impossible'.  Inevitable."
(--The Architect, 'The Matrix Revolutions')



P.S. Yes, I AM implying that SOME medical-"head honchos" MAY have ALOTTA "BOOK-smarts".  But, they may LACK logic, common sense AND/OR "people-skills" to sufficiently/legitimately CONVEY/COMMUNICATE their UNDERSTANDING and INSTRUCTIONS.

P.P.S I can "communicate" UNDERSTANDABLY, and I can-NOT even CONSISTENTLY, COGENTLY talk.
Ha ha HA!
So, YES.  I am IMPLYING that I--WITH my brain-injury--possess BETTER/MORE "INTERACTIVE-knowledge" than THEY have.
So, in this PARTICULAR area, yes, I AM BETTER/SMARTER.


...

Since my "WALKING" is IMPROVING, (YAY!)

… I say--to MYSELF:
"It is not 'HOPE'.
It's more 'TIME'."
(--Morpheus, 'The Matrix Reloaded')

… Now, I am NOT being cocky.
I am merely growing more and more CONFIDENT--based on my significant, visible, ever-present

PROGRESS!


...

SUNDAY has--for a LONG TIME--been my FAVORITE day of the week.

…

CURRENTLY, Sunday is the ONE day in which I--TECHNICALLY--have a "day-off".

JUST because I do NOT have "therapy", "martial arts"-training, LEG-/ARM-workouts or a "meeting" with my "neuropsychologist" does NOT mean that I don't "push" to "BETTER myself".

I've ALREADY "WALKED" from bed AND/OR my family-room to my toilet to "STAND" and urinate INTO my "john" THREE different times.

Alas, I do what I MUST.

(… "We're ALL here to do what we're all here to do."

--The Oracle, 'The Matrix Reloaded')

...

(It's an--OPTIMISTIC--simile:)

…

"LIFE is like a camera.
FOCUS on what's IMPORTANT, and 'capture' the GOOD times!
'Develop' (and LEARN) from the NEGATIVES.
If things don't turn out (WELL), just 'give it another shot'."
(--'Fitness World')

SELF-belief trumps … ALL!

…


"The 'STRONGEST' factor for(/in) SUCCESS is SELF-ESTEEM:

-- believing you CAN do it
-- believing you DESERVE it
-- believing you WILL get it."

(--'Fitness World')

But, I DON'T WANNA grow up!

…

Many people like the IDEA of ME.
But, they LACK the MATURITY to "HANDLE" the REALITY of ME.

(According to 'The Matrix', I AM "The ONE".)
(… According to my doctors, I AM "an ANOMALY".)  

… I'm a STRANGELY-UNIQUE combination of ACADEMIC-"strength", ATHLETIC-prowess, STEADFAST-determination and WITTY--though SOPHOMORIC--humor.

(TREASURE your "GIFTS".)


...

"Do unto OTHERS as you would have THEM do unto you."

…
Sometimes we expect MORE from OTHERS, because we would BE WILLING to do THAT MUCH for them.

(… UNLESS, you're in MY situation.  THEN, since I'm STRIVING for more INDEPENDENCE, I PREFER to NOT receive assistance, until/UNLESS I ask for help.)


...

NEGATIVITY is like a harmful, crippling "DISEASE"! (EEEWWW!)

…
Unfortunately, negativity/pessimism can be SICKENINGLY "CONTAGIOUS"!

BEAUTIFUL/WONDERFUL/IDEAL things HAPPEN, when you "DISTANCE" yourself from the NEGATIVE.

"You've gotta HARNESS in the GOOD-energy, and BLOCK the BAD.
It's like a carousel.
...
Harness--GOOD.
Block-BAD."
(--'Happy Gilmore')


...

MIND --> BODY --> SOUL

…

"ALL change begins in your mind."

(--Billy Cox, 'Fitness World')

(… I'm a very "VISUAL-learner".)

...

… Emmy-WINNING "Writing for a Variety-Special":

…
'We Are Miracles'--starring comedian Sarah Silverman.

(… Now, not to hog ALL the glory, but I interpret that as
"The ROYAL 'we' … the EDITORIAL.  …"
--'The Big Lebowski')



...

… (I brush back my hair.) "Don't HATE ME, because I'm BEAUTIFUL."

…

"You should 

be HAPPY for what you HAVE

and

NOT ENVY what I DO."

(--Matthew McConaughey JOKINGLY teasing Woody Harrelson at Emmys)

(… Do NOT compare/contrast YOURSELF with "the next guy".

"You're fightin' a LOSING-battle.")

...

… (WARNING) I've Been a Bit BUSY with my Bathroom-Breaks!

…
(Alas, A.J.!  Assemble your Astounding Alliteration, And lay it/them Aside!)

After FINISHING yesterday a "SPOTLESS" 4-for-4 on "'WALKING' urinary-treks", I thought I'd start EARLY this morning with--YET ANOTHER--"pee-break".
(… YAY!)
(… "Spotless" is a a rather POOR "word-choice".  I must account for "SPLASH-back" … on my legs.)
(… GUYS know what I'm talkin' about!)

(… SIGH)


...

In HONOR of the Emmys,

…
I'd like to be
"the PAST-version of my FUTURE-self".


(… That means I'm "living in the NOW".)


(… "L-I-V-I-N, LIVIN'!"--'Dazed & Confused')


"In honor of Larry Kramers, find something(S) you're PASSIONATE about--that you really CARE about … (WALKING, TALKING, EATING, DRINKING)"


"God gives you a PENIS and a BRAIN,
and only enough blood to run ONE-AT-A-TIME."
(Ha ha HA!)
(… Oh, sweet I-rony!)
(--the LATE Robin Williams)


"… How ELSE would I know that I'm 'an UN-funny DOUCHE'?!"


"Life is so worth-WHILE,
if you just … SMILE!  …"



...

… (WARNING) Yet AGAIN a PRODUCTIVE "Performance" of Plentiful Pee!

…
(A.J., STOP with the Amazing And Annoying--Albeit Appropriate--Alliteration!
(… DAMNIT!  Now, I'm doin' it!)
(… Now, I'm singing.  "OOOHHH, I'm hooked on a FEELIN'!")

… So, I'm 2-for-2 today on my "urinary-WALKS".


...

(WARNING) "SOLID"/SUCCESSFUL start!

…
"Alliteration aside."
(--'Dodgeball')

… I like to BEGIN each/EVERY day with a "WALKING-trek" to my 'toillette' to "relieve myself"--via "STANDING" and urinating INTO said "porcelain throne".
THEN, I follow my "act of SEMI-independence" with a CASUAL, "CALM, COOL and COLLECTED" "stroll" back to bed.

'WUNDERBA!'


...

I do what I MUST!

…
My RECENT LONGTIME ex-girlfriend--about ME:
"That's simply what he DOES!
He INSPIRES the UN-inspired."

(… So, YES, she's implying that I'm KINDA like 'Van Wilder'--WHICH I'm watching.)



...

"EXPERIENCE" can be a cruel, CRUEL "teacher"!

…

"It" gives/requires a "TEST",

BEFORE "it" presents the "LESSON".



MORAL
ALWAYS be AWARE/"ON THE BALL"!

(voice of Mr. Rogers:) "WELCOME to my neighborhood. TODAY's 'MAGIC'-letter is the letter 'C'."

…

You must make a "CHOICE"
to take a "CHANCE",
in order to bring about "CHANGE".

Even though EVERYTHING takes me a bit long-ER--which is FRUSTRATING, 'cuz of my PHYSICAL-limitations, throughout ALL that I do, I MUST remain:

-- calm
-- cool
-- collected
-- composed

-- NOT compulsive


...

SUCKS for THEM!

…
UN-fortunately, I do ALL of MY "work"--PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, "SPIRITUALLY"--by MYSELF.

"Bruce Wayne"/Batman--to ME:
"If you're gonna work ALONE, wear a MASK."
…
"It's to PROTECT those you care about."
(--'The Dark Knight Rises')

(… I NEGLECT to "HIDE my TRUE-identity".)


...

When I view videos of MY--CAREFULLY, SMOOTHLY--WALKING, I think:

…

"I do not believe in 'CHANCE'.
...
I don't see 'COINCIDENCE'.
I see 'PROVIDENCE'.
I see 'PURPOSE'."
(--Morpheus, 'The Matrix Reloaded')


...

FREQUENCY reflects "CHARACTER".

…

WE are what we REPEATEDLY DO.

Thus, EXCELLENCE is NOT an "ACT".

It's a "HABIT".

((… I--REGULARLY/ROUTINELY/CONSISTENTLY--display EXEMPLARY efforts in ALL that I do (LEG-workouts, ARM-workouts, squats, martial arts, SPEECH-therapy, etc.).
Ergo, GREATNESS has become rather HABITUAL/INSPIRATIONAL.)


...

"NEVER say DIE"-attitude:

…

"If you REALLY WANT something, you'll 'find a WAY'.

If you DON'T, you'll 'find an EXCUSE'."

(--'Fitness World')

In order to get/receive "GOOD",

…
you/we must BE "GOOD".

…
BAD things occur to/for BAD, IM-patient, heart-LESS, 

RUDE, PESSIMISTIC people. 


(It's called "KARMA"..)



(… Thus, I ALWAYS STRIVE/TRY FOR 

"GREATNESS"/"EXCELLENCE"/"MASTERY"!)



...

"GOOD things come to those who WAIT."

…

"There's no need to RUSH.

If something is 'MEANT TO BE', it WILL happen.

IN the RIGHT TIME,

WITH the RIGHT PERSON,

FOR the BEST REASON!"

(--'Fitness World')

(… Like "new LEGS"?!

Huh, huh, HUH?!)


...

… Cue "The Architect" (My ORIGINAL head-doctor = "The Architect")

…

"Humph. Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness."



(… OBVIOUSLY, ye is NOT "The Architect" of MY--an 

OPTIMIST's--brain & heart.)


ME: "WHY am I here?" 

The Architect: "Your life is the sum of a remainder of an 

unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of

(MODERN neural-studies). You are the eventuality of an 

anomaly, which despite my sincerest efforts I have been 

unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of 

mathematical precision. While it remains a burden 

assiduously avoided, it is not unexpected, 

and thus not beyond a measure of control … which has led 

you, inexorably, here."


...
The Architect: …"Which brings us at last to the moment of 

truth, wherein the fundamental flaw is ultimately expressed, 

and 'the Anomaly' (ME) revealed as both beginning... and 

end." 


(--'The Matrix Reloaded')


ME: "Aaahhh, Doc.  CLEVER metaphor relating 

'BEGINNING' and--EVENTUAL--'END' to my … 

TEMPORARY … disability!

...

(SIGH) 'FAUX'-MUTINY?!

…
(Fine.  "BRING IT!"
I don't NEED/WANT such DIS-respect!)

So, I recently discovered that ANOTHER employee is/was VERY UPSET over/about my recent "TERMINATION" of a different employee.
Upon hearing of HIS discontent, one of my more LOYAL, "TOP-NOTCH", LOGICAL employees informed me of his discontent.  BEGRUDGINGLY, I HAD TO "bite/hold my tongue" the other evening.  LUCKILY/THANKFULLY, a friend visited to help "DISTRACT" me from my FURIOUSNESS at HIS BLATANT DISREGARD of/for AUTHORITY!
(… OBVIOUSLY, I'm STILL MAD!)

It's VERY IRRITATING to OWN and OPERATE a "business", when employees do NOT "ABIDE BY" or "RESPECT" the (FINAL-)decisions of the "HEAD-HONCHO" (ME)!

I'm NOT trying to seem "STILTED"!

But, I've learned that I mustN'T underestimate the "POWER" of WIDESPREAD STUPIDITY!

...

"Life's like locking HONEY from a THORN."

…
(TRANSLATION:)
"There are GOOD times; and
there are BAD times."


(… Alas, we MUST "ROLL with the PUNCHES".)
(… "SHIT happens.")


...

I ALWAYS "give 110%"!

…

(PLUS, I'm a CONSIDERATE HELPER!)

I can NOT promise to solve ALL your problems.

But, I CAN promise you WON'T hafta "fight" them ALONE.

…
(YOUR 100%-effort PLUS MY 110% = 210%-DETERMINED commitment)
(… That's over TWICE the EFFORT!)



...

"I can't feel my legs. … I HAVE NO LEGS!"

…
(RELAX!  I'm JUST watching and quoting the GREAT film, ''Can't Hardly Wait''.)

…
(ACTUALLY, I am HYPER-sensitive to TOUCH--ESPECIALLY in my "LOWER body"-trunks!)


…
"Just so you know, judging from my LITTLE 'experience', I kind of believe in 'FATE'.
It just works in REALLY FUCKED-UP ways sometimes."


…
"'FATE'!  There IS such a thing as 'fate'.  But, it only takes you so far.
THEN, it's up to you to make it happen."


…
"Why y'all gotta WASTE my 'FLAVA'?!  DAMN!"


…
"I'll kick EVERYONE'S ASS in this room!"


...

"Do NOT 'judge' a book by its cover."

…

The American government--STUPIDLY--decreed that, since I was in TWO comas, I do NOT "exist".  Don't I--an American CITIZEN--have certain "INALIENABLE RIGHTS'?!  … Yeah, way to CONTRADICT YOURSELVES, DUMB-ASSED bureaucrats!

(… As a RESULT of this BLATANT STUPIDITY and NON-apology by/from the "government", I'm CONSIDERING taking up "Nihilism"--'The Big Lebowski'.)


...

?!

…

"The question isN'T
'Who is going to LET me'.

It's
''Who is going to STOP me'."

(--Ayn Rand)

II've GOT what "it TAKES"/"is NECESSARY"!

…
“[Being a fighter] comes with instinct and heart and your attitude. Even when you’re losing and you’re tired and you’re hurt, it’s how you handle it. You can’t teach that, and I don’t think everybody has it. Some people have it and some people don’t.”  
(-UFC FEMALE bantamweight Elizabeth Phillips)

((… Since Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) veterans--like MYSELF … to the Nth degree … HAFTA have "HEART", why can't I be a FIGHTER … AND a LOVER?!)


(… DIFFERENT kinds of "HEART"?)

(… Am I being too LITERAL?!)

(… "Ah, fuck it, 'Dude'.  Let's go BOWLING."
--Walter Sobchak, 'The Big Lebowski')


...

I DISlike BRAGGING.

…
I PREFER to let my DEEDS "do my TALKING".

(… "ACTIONS speak LOUDER than WORDS.")

I'd RATHER "UNDER-sell and OVER-produce"(--Denver Broncos' head coach John Fox).


...

… WHY my mood is rather UNPLEASANT:

…

"ANOTHER one 'BITES the DUST'."

So, I HAD TO "FIRE" another employee over the weekend.

He was storing/HIDING ALCOHOL (specifically, BEER) at MY house!

(… W.T.F.?!)

What made it WORSE is that the GUTLESS CULPRIT tried to convince OTHER employees to "be QUIET about it" and "COVER for (him)".

In the past, OTHER employees have found empty beer bottles (SAME frickin' brand!) strewn on the grass in my backyard.

So, how LONG has he been SO IR-responsible?!

AFTER I "terminated his employment", he tried to "BULLSHIT me" about this being "ONE TIME" and "it's NOT (HIS)".

I--CALMLY--replied:

"You JUST contradicted yourself, … DUMBASS."

Now, I am NOT decreeing a LIFE of SOBRIETY!

I CERTAINLY enjoy an IN-frequent sip of alcohol.

But, this is a WORK-place!

(Ever heard of the--POPULAR--concept of "ZERO tolerance"?)

(… As much as I DESPISE the term, I think it's APPROPRIATE--in reference to his 

STUPIDITY, DENIAL and DIS-respect:

What a frickin' "RETARD"!)

...

"CHANGE" is MESSY/UNPLEASANT.

… But, ALAS!
"It is INEVITABLE."
(--'The Matrix Reloaded')

… "'Get DOWN' with DA DIRT."

"Change...or stay the same? Grow...or keep things exactly 

the way they are? Both are uncomfortable and messy, but 

growth and change have glorious outcomes."

(--CreateasFolk.com)





...

'Cogito ergo sum.'

…
(Any Latin-scholars?)
(… EERIE silence)
…
'I THINK, therefore I AM.'
(… OR, more clearly--for the STUPID, MISERABLE, good-for-NOTHING American government:
'I am THINKING, therefore i exist.')

(--Rene' Descartes)

(I am in a BAD mood, 'cuz there's SO MUCH STUPIDITY/"LACK OF logic" "out there" that it's really … EMBARRASSING!)

(… I'm POSITIVE my brother's doing BETTER in 'Turkiye' than I am or he WAS here in the United States.)


...

JEEZ, LOGIC 'nerede' ('NEHR-deh')?

…
(PHONETIC Turkish for 'Where is it')
(… So, I "said"/typed:
'Where is' the LOGIC?)

So, 48 minutes (= 0.8 hours = 2,880 seconds) ago, my EVENING-nurse began to "feed me" my "DINNER".
When my "nutrients"/"vitamins" "trekked" down my NEW "G-/peg-tube" VERY SLOWLY, she--VERY IGNORANTLY--remarked:
"It's going down very slow.  It's BROKEN."

ME (internally): "(HALF-sarcastically) No, GENIUS!  The FRICKIN' tube's a DAY old.  Try following my OTHER nurse's tube-instructions, and wash-out my tube by pouring some WATER down it."

Eventually/FINALLY, she DID pour some "H2O" down my "tube", and it INSTANTLY "cleared up".

ME: "(Audible SIGH)"


...

… (WARNING) I'd HOPE/PRAY/DOUBT (UN-fortunately) I could smell THAT!

…
"Smells like somebody SHIT in their cereal."
(--Holden McNeeley)
…
"BUNG!"
(--Jay)

(… 'Jay & Silent Bob Strike Bob Strike Back')

Now, yesterday I was ANTICIPATING MY nasal-detection of some (METAPHORIC) "DEFECATION" in MY 'Apple-Cinnamon Cheerios'.
But, TODAY my "G/peg-tube"-REPLACEMENT" was so, so, SSSOOO pain-FREE that I actually CONTEMPLATED "turning the tables" on ANYONE who "gave me a HARD time"!

But, ALAS, I am too JOVIAL, HIGH-spirited, JOLLY (No, that has an OBESE-connotation.), MERRY, KIND and FORGIVING to really get UPSET at someone for such an Excellent, Enigmatic, Energetic Example of Excretory-Exactitude!
(… "Alliteration aside."--'Dodgeball')


Bottom Line:
I'm HAPPY, COMFORTABLE, RELAXED and TIRED!


….

PERSONALITY-wise:

…

My brother--to ME:
"The 'Matrix of Leadership' is not FOUND.
It is EARNED."
(--The Primes, 'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen')

ME: "'Matrix of Leadership'?  WOW!  That's an AWKWARD name to call my UNFORTUNATE 'Traumatic Brain-Injury'!"

Brohiem: "PARDON ME!  I meant NO OFFENSE!"
ME: "I KNOW.  I know.  I'm just ''givin you (METAPHORICAL) 'shit'', 'cuz I'm a bit PERTURBED that YOU thought of that 'Transformers'-quote … before I DID!"



...

We MUST have HOPE & well-directed EFFORT!

…
"CAN a man 'change his stahs'?"

"Yes, if he BELIEVES enough, a mahn can do ANYTHING."

(--''A Knight's Tale'')



...

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. … THANK YOU!

…

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that 

comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because 

all things have contributed to your advancement, you should 

include all things in your gratitude.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson


I'd like to express my APPRECIATION to/of ALL the people who've "TOUCHED" me!  ALL the "TOUCHING" was WONDERFUL!
PLUS, I've done a GREAT DEAL of "TOUCHING" … like in my high school valedictory!
(… No, THAT didN'T come out right.)


...

Be "glass is half-FULL"!

…

OPTIMISM is a HAPPINESS-magnet.

If you stay POSITIVE, GOOD things and GOOD people will be "DRAWN" to YOU.

(… So, since "OPPOSITES attract", it is the JOB/RESPONSIBILITY of GOOD people to "BOOST UP" the spirits/morale of those LESS fortunate.)

(… Needless to say, I do what I CAN!)


...

There's NO "HIM" v. HER"!

…
"'DUDE'ism" is a way-of-LIFE.
It's a "state-of-BEING".
There are NO "GENDER-lines".
You've either GOT IT, or you DON'T.

(… "Worse comes to worst",
"Ah, fuck it, 'Dude'.  Let's go BOWLING.")

(… --'The Big Lebowski')

I "begin" anew--YET AGAIN.

…
So, I JUST had my "G-tube" ("Gastric-tube" that connects TO and protrudes FROM my stomach) REPLACED.
My appointment was at 7:00 am.
(My nurse told me I "should be HOME by noon".  YET, I was OUT of the hospital and IN my van by 8:54 am!)

The FEARED replacement-procedure was VIRTUALLY/PRACTICALLY painLESS.
IGNORING the DOCTOR's orders/instructions to NOT look, I STARED at "the HOLE in my stomach" as he--the doctor (one of the VERY FEW medical NON-assholes)--SWIFTLY/QUICKLY pulled/YANKED out SAID tube.  Then, I WATCHED him--again, VERY SPEEDILY--shove in a NEW G-tube.

WHEW!



P.S. My blood-pressure AT the hospital--just BEFORE my "replacement-procedure" was

113/76.
(… Pretty DAMN CLOSE to the IDEAL mark of 120/80!)

Just AFTER the "ordeal", it DROPPED to

108/71.
(… Did the--SUPPOSEDLY "painful" procedure RELAX/SOOTHE me?!)
(… Did "The Force" "kick in"?  Was I able to "CONTROL" the NUMBERS?!  … THAT's just what I DO!)
(… OR, am I just WEIRD/STRANGE/"VERY ABOVE-average"?!)

(… "Sur-VEY says:" Choice C.)



P.P.S. Is that EXTREME HYPO-tension?
(… Should I be WORRIED?!)


...

… FURTHER "Notes to SELF":

…

With WILL/DETERMINATION, CONFIDENCE and RESOLVE/DETERMINATION,
one can do (ALMOST) ANYTHING.


...

LOVE & RESPECT those "CLOSE" to you!

…

"FRIENDSHIP is NOT something you learn in SCHOOL.
But, if you haveN'T learned the (TRUE) meaning of 'FRIENDSHIP',
you really haven't learned ANYTHING."
(--Muhammad Ali)

(… CRUD!  "Friendship"-class would've been--YET ANOTHER--high school class I would've ACED!)

(… NOT ONLY was I valedictorian, but my REMARKABLY-POPULAR combination of ACADEMIC-intelligence, ATHLETIC-prowess, SOCIAL-wit and SARCASTIC-humor made me a bit of a FAN-FAVORITE among students.)


...

… (WARNING) MY day of INDEPENDENT SECRETIONS:

…

So, yesterday I was feeling rather ENERGETIC and DETERMINED.
So, I decided to CONSTANTLY/REPEATEDLY try my "WALKING" … AND my "STANDING" to URINATE … into my toilet.

On/At EIGHT different occasions/times, I "WALKED" (w/ my walker)--EITHER the ~40 steps from my living/family room OR the ~30 steps from my bed--to STAND … while leaning on the handrails … in front of my 'toilette' to urinate into it.

… RELAX!  Out of the EIGHT urinary-ATTEMPTS, I had FOUR "SUCCESSES"!
(Thus, FOUR were "FALSE alarms".  But, "'tis better SAFE than SORRY", right?!
BESIDES, nothin' wrong with MORE/EXTRA "WALKING" and "STANDING", right?!)



P.S. My FINAL "WALK" of the night was--FROM BED--to "release my bowels".
So, I went to sleep feeling QUITE HAPPY, PROUD, RELIEVED, and ACCOMPLISHED!

(  : )  )


P.P.S. I "brought up" this topic, 'cuz I--AGAIN--began my morning (6:08 am) with a SUCCESSFUL "urinary-TREK" from BED to my toilet … to "STAND".


P.P.P.S. I ALMOST forgot!  On my "penultimate" ("second-to-last") "trek"--after THREE "failures", I was LEANING OVER/ABOVE my "JOHN", when a PLETHORA of SALIVA began to ACCUMULATE in my mouth.  So, I manipulated/maneuvered my tongue and SPIT my EXCESS phlegm into the toilet.  Now, GUYS, this wasN'T a HUGE, MONSTROUS loogie about which to BRAG!  (It was a COLLECTION of EIGHT SMALL "wads" of excess-spit.)  But, STILL, I have NOT been ABLE to "EXPECTORATE" in ~SIX YEARS.
So, YAY!


...

ENJOY your job/occupation!

…
It's not really "WORK", when you LIKE what you DO!

((… TECHNICALLY, I "WORK" to devise assorted "COPING MECHANISMS" and "SHORTCUTS" as my nerves and muscles GRADUALLY RE-generate.
TECHNICALLY, I "WORK" as an OCCASIONAL instructor at my 'martial arts school' ('dojo').
TECHNICALLY, I'm GONNA "WORK" as a MATH-tutor.
…))


...

"WORRY" is a total WASTE OF TIME!

…
IT doesN'T change ANYTHING.
All IT does is STEAL your JOY and keep you VERY BUSY doing NOTHING.


...

"That's just, like, YOUR OPINION, man!"

… --'The Big Lebowski'

… Someone--I forgot whoM--told me,

"'Tis better to LOSE an ILLUSION than to GAIN a TRUTH."

(… By "ELIMINATING" a LIE, y'all may "get TWO birds with ONE stone":
DE-creasing the FALSE-ness may IN-crease the TRUE-ness.)

(… It's a "BALANCING-act/beam".)


...

APPARENTLY, 'Outback Steakhouse' was FIRST opened in … VIETNAM!

…
According to Walter Sobchak of 'The Big Lebowski':
"This isn't 'Nam.  There are RULES."

The slogan of the restaurant, 'Outback Steakhouse':
"NO Rules--Just RIGHT".

Ergo, there are/were ZERO "RULES" in "Viet--FUCKIN'--NAM"(--'The Big Lebowski').
(… This would be an IDEAL location to "SPROUT" the 'Steakhouse'-franchise.)



...

(Pointing) "I … WAWNT … that."

… --'Napoleon Dynamite'

I saw a shirt that--on the FRONT--reads:

"CHEF"

(above two CROSSING knives)

And, on the BACK, it says:

"Because ''Freakin' AWESOME Culinary BAD-ASS''

is not an official job-title"

(… I WAS a PHENOMENAL chef!  However, I did NOT use "recipes".  I'd cook by "SAMPLING" my "WORK" as I went.  Although I--TEMPORARILY--LACK my sense of TASTE, I STILL know the general PRINCIPLES of "FOOD-preperation".)


...

DARE to be DIFFERENT.

…

"When Fear says, 
'WAIT',
… then 
BEGIN.
When Pain says,
'QUIT',
… then
CONTINUE.
When Doubt says,
'GIVE UP',
then
PERSIST."
(--Billy Cox)

(...

'Jiujitsu'--'GROUND-fighting'

…
When it's your PASSION, it becomes your LIFE.

…
I've been studying/"training in" martial arts (ON/OFF, 'cuz of my TWO comas) for 22+ years.
In my spare/free time, I VERY MUCH enjoy designing/devising 'Jiujitsu'-techniques!
PLUS, the PRACTICE helps me know/learn the "LIMITS" of just "HOW FAR" my body can "GO".



...

(I REVISED some 'Pulp Fiction'--which I was just watching. I'm makin' it more NON-fiction--for ME.)

…

"You read the Bible much?  There's a passage I got 

memorized. Ezekiel 25:17: 

'The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides 

by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil 

men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and 

good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of 

the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and 

the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon 

thee with great vengeance and furious anger those 

who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And 

you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance 

upon you.'  Now... I been sayin' that shit for years. 

I never gave much thought to what it meant. … See, 

now I'm thinking: maybe it means 

YOU'RE the evil man. (You SO ARE!) And I'm the 

righteous man. And, (MY BRAIN) here... he's the 

shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of 

darkness. Or, it could mean you're the righteous man, 

and I'm the shepherd, and it's the world that's evil 

and selfish. And, I'd like that. But that shit ain't the 

truth. The truth is you're the weak. And, I'm the 

tyranny of evil men. But I'm 

tryin', Doc. I'm tryin' real hard to be the shepherd."


…

Dr. Dodo--about ME: "I do NOT understand his 

WEIRD brain AT ALL!  What's his deal?!"

ME--to Dr. Dodo:
…
"I am an ANOMALY. … Listen: 'If my answers frighten 

you then you should cease asking scary questions.'"


...

Team of ONE

…

"Let NO ONE discourage your AMBITIOUS attitude.
You don't NEED a fan-club to achieve your goals.
Be YOUR OWN motivation."
(--'Fitness-World')


...

(WARNING) PARDON my BLASPHEMY!

…
SUNDAY is SUPPOSED TO be THE/MY "Day of REST"!

HOWEVER, since I've ALWAYS preferred ACTIVITY to LOUNGING, …
AND I'm NOT "God" … I decided to get UP … EARLY.

1) At ~6:12 am--PRIOR to any "MEDICINAL-prompting/stimulating", I decided to "WALK"--WITH my walker--to my "porcelain throne".  THERE, I "relieved myself"--"#1" AND "#2".

2) After my SECOND "feeding" (So, at ~11:21 am), I--AGAIN--"WALKED" to--ONLY secrete--some urinary "WASTE" in the proper "receptacle".
I MADE SURE to STAND & LEAN to urinate INTO my 'toilette'.
(… ZERO dripping/spillage!)

3) Rather than JUST "WALKING" to brush 'mis dinettes'--a la my USUAL Sunday-routine, I decided to ADDITIONALLY "WALK" another 38 steps to my MOTORIZED-wheelchair in my living room.

4) Additionally, I completed a "payroll-sheet" for my "EMPLOYEES".

(… Alas, there's still A LOT MORE to this day!)


...

"If you want SUCCESS, then you've"

… "gotta SMELL it!
You've gotta EAT it,
LIVE it,
BREATHE it,
TASTE it
and BECOME it!"
(--Billy Cox, 'Fitness World')

((… Well, I--CURRENTLY, TEMPORARILY--can NEITER "SMELL" nor "TASTE".
SHUCKS!
Ergo, I'm 3 for 5 (60%) on the PRE-requisites for the COVETED "SUCCESS".))
(… I just must "BECOME IT!")




(… "Easier SAID than DONE.")

(… Actually, since I VERY MUCH STRUGGLE to--CONSISTENTLY, COGENTLY--speak, it MIGHT be EASIER to DO "successful" things than to SAY "SUCCESSFUL STUFF".)


((… SHIT!  What do I KNOW?!  (A LOT) I JUST SAID "SUC-CESS-FUL STUFF" (Employing my  Speech-Therapist's teachings of SEP-ER-AY-TING the word into SYLL-AH-BUHLS)
THREE times!))

(… C'MON, A.J.!  NEVER doubt YOURSELF!  You're BETTER than that!)


...

Take RESPONSIBILITY! Yet, "give the 'A' for EFFORT".

…

“The willingness to forgive is a sign of spiritual and emotional 

maturity. It is one of the great virtues to which we all should 

aspire. Imagine a world filled with individuals willing both to 

apologize and to accept an apology. Is there any problem

 that could not be solved among people who possessed the 

humility and largeness of spirit and soul to do either -- or both 

-- when needed.”

― Gordon B. Hinckley

(… I can/WILL CERTAINLY attest to the FACT that I have

 made QUITE A FEW errors!  But, it's UNFORTUNATE that 

NOT ENOUGH people can ACCEPT culpability for their 

WRONGDOINGS.)

...

TWO-step PROCESS:

…

"LEARNING" is a matter of GATHERING knowledge.
"WISDOM" involves APPLYING said knowledge.

(… I CONSTANTLY/DAILY "LEARN" what MY body CAN and can-NOT do.
Next, I "STORE/SAVE" that kinetic-info in my MENTAL-"file-folders" for FUTURE-USE.
Then, I "REST & REFLECT".
Finally, I "APPLY" said know-HOW to the following day's activities.)


"Rome wasN'T built in a day!"



...

"Doth my ears DECEIVE me?"

… --'Ace Ventura: Pet Detective'

…
While my--LESS THAN responsible--evening-/weekend-NURSE was "feeding me" (via "G-tube"), I HEARD her SPILL three DROPLETS of my "food" on the floor.
When I "finished my 'meal'", I asked said nurse to clean up the drippings.
Upon wiping the area, she remarked:
"It was only three small drops.  No big deal."

My analysis:

1) It IS a "big deal"!  CLEAN UP after yourself!
If I hadN'T told her to CLEAN IT UP, she UNDOUBTEDLY would've "bitched"/COMPLAINED about the slippery spot during my NEXT "meal".
"It's the PRINCIPLE!"
(--ME)

2) "HATS OFF" to/for my INCREDIBLY ASTUTE hearing!
(… I've gained more interest in the CHILDREN's book, 'Horton Hears a Hoo'.)


...

WHEN I WALK … and TALK,

… I SHALL quote

Peter Pan--ROBIN WILLIAMS:

"So, come with ME--where DREAMS are BORN, and TIME is NEVER PLANNED!"
(--'Hook')

"I like the taste of ADRENALINE."

… --Jim Carrey, 'Moviefone-Unscripted'

…
I apologize for being a "THRILL-seeker".


(… Actually, I'm sorry I'm NOT sorry!)

STRANGELY, sometimes my NECK hurts.

…

So, I--INTERNALLY-"talk" to it.

…

"Well, WHOA (neck).  Looks like you're 'caught' between (a) 'ROCK' (my HEAVILY metallic LEFT shoulder) and a 'HARD case' (MY TRAUMATICALLY-injured brain)."

(--'The Rock')

...

My--EVENTUAL--explanation of my "BATTLE" with my "T.B.I.":

…
"We CAME.
We SAW.
We KICKED its ASS!"
(--'Ghostbusters')


…
"The ROYAL 'We'--the EDITORIAL.
…"
(--'The Big Lebowski')


...

"The weekend's (TECHNICALLY) HERE!!"

… "Don't let ANYTHING stop you from 'gettin' WEIRD'."
(--'Workaholics')

((… SATURDAYs are my 'days of practicing and/or teaching 'JiuJitsu' ('GROUND-fighting').  SOMETIMES I host "par-TAYs"THAT evening.
SUNDAYs are my IMMINENT SPORTS-days!  I like to do my GOOFY superstitions--even though I KNOW/UNDERSTAND the concept of JINXING is "POPPYCOCK"!))


...

Summation of "HOPE":

…

GOOD things come to those who BELIEVE.

BETTER things come to those who are PATIENT.

The BEST things come to those who do NOT "give up".


(… I DO have the STEADFAST DETERMINATION to NEVER "throw in the towel".)



...

So TRUE!

…

''Conan''s Andy Richter--about ME:
"Because you're not dead yet, you're just in PAIN.
And, PAIN equals MONEY."


...

BRILLIANT/OPTIMISTIC quote:

…

"If you can DREAM it,
you can DO it."
(--Walt Disney)

(… I "DREAM" of WALKING & TALKING.
Next, I HAFTA make my "DREAMS" REALITIES!)


...

FOCUS!

…

"I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the 

universe that makes things happen; all you have to do is get 

in touch with it. Stop thinking...let things happen...and be…the

 ball."

(--Clark Griswold, 'Caddyshack')

(… ACTUALLY, I'd recommend being PRO-active rather than 

RE-active.)




...

"Come on, SMILE! Yee-YUCK!"

… "WHO'S your favorite OPOSSUM?!"
(--'A Goofy Movie'

(… I just NEEDED some COMEDY … in my rather MOROSE, LONELY and UN-eventful life!)


...

Is it OVER … YET?!

…
That is NOT what SHE said!

"It's hard to beat a person who NEVER gives up."
(--Babe Ruth)

(… "The GREAT Bam-bee-no!"
"WHO?  … Oh, I thought you said, 'The Great BAM-BEE'!"
"That WIMPY DEER?!"
--'The Sandlot')

(… I am "THAT guy"--the one who NEVER gives up.)


...

I NEED a TIGHT-knit GROUP/KLAN/POSSE.

…

"I think if I've learned ANYTHING about 'friendship', it's to hang 

in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you.

Don't walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or 

tired, don't take them for granted. Friends are part of the 

glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff.”

― Jon Katz

(… I THOROUGHLY ENJOY "SOCIAL"-situations!)

(… I'm a "PEOPLE-person".)



...

HONESTLY, I thought THAT:

…
When I was "TRAPPED"/"STUCK" in that "God-FORSAKEN HELLHOLE of a SUCK-YOO-BIS" ("F.I.N.R."), I thought:

"I wanna 'make love' to FREEDOM!"
(--Kumail Nanjiani, on 'Conan')


...

"I CHOOSE to."(--'The Matrix Revolutions')

…

Just 'cuz I LAUGH A LOT
doesN'T mean my life is EASY.
(… Oh, it's NOT.)
(… Ha ha HA!  I just said "SNOT".)

Just 'cuz I "wear" a SMILE everyday,
doesN'T mean that SOMETHING's NOT bothering me.
(… AGAIN with the "SNOT"!)

I just CHOOSE to "move on",
and NOT dwell on ALL the NEGATIVES in my life.
(… One POSITIVE would be … NO MORE "SNOT"!)

EVERY NEW moment gives me the chance to "RENEW ANEW"/"BEGIN AGAIN"!


I CHOOSE TO do/be THAT.


...

"DIFFERENT strokes for DIFFERENT folks":

…


"Working hard for something we doN'T care about is called

'STRESS'.

Working hard for something we LOVE is called

'PASSION'."
(--Fitness World)

(

FOCUS!

…

"EFFORTS and COURAGE are not enough withOUT
PURPOSE and DIRECTION."
(--John F. Kennedy)

(… In order to WALK, I MUST "OVERCOME" my WORRY of FALLING.)


...

"VACATION":

…

The MOST IMPORTANT trip you will EVER take/make in LIFE is meeting someone HALFWAY.

"LIFE" is a TWO-way "street".

(… Find a PARTNER/COMPANION to JOIN/ACCOMPANY you along "the road LESS taken".)



P.S. There's NO ONE on the "street".  The "weather" is sunny & breezy.
So, JOIN ME!
(I'll drive!)

(… Actually, … SHIT!  LEGALLY, I am NOT PERMITTED to "operate an automobile".)


(… Oh, well!  It's just a METAPHORICAL "car"!)


...

Take AIM!

…

An arrow can ONLY be shot by FIRST pulling it BACKWARD.

When LIFE is DRAGGING you BACK with DIFFICULTIES, that means it's going to "LAUNCH you" into something GREAT!

So, just FOCUS, and keep AIMING.

(… I EARNED the "Archery"-merit badge in Boy Scouts.)



P.S. My concentration/"focus"/astuteness is … PHENOMENAL!


...

"You're only given ONE LITTLE 'spark' of 'MADNESS'."

… You mustN'T 'LOSE' it!"

(--Robin Williams)

(… HE didn't.

BLESS HIS SOUL!)

...

BRIEF BIOGRAPHY:

…

About ME --
"The man who'd KNOW himself, yet would NOT TOUCH himself."
(--the LATE Robin Williams on his FIRST EVER 'Tonight Show w/ Johnny Carson)

(… Ha ha HA!  R.I.P. , Comedic-LEGEND!)


...

I am NOT egotistical!

…
But, BASED on my ACADEMIC, ATHLETIC, SOCIAL and OCCUPATIONAL background,
I EXPECT GREATNESS … from MYSELF!

(… That's just "WHAT I DO"/"HOW I ROLL"!)


...

+ > -

…

A "NEGATIVE" mind will NEVER give you a "POSITIVE" life.

(… Ergo, be OPTIMISTIC!)


...

It's what's on the INSIDE that counts/matters.

…

"Be KIND.

EVERYONE you meet is "fighting" a "BATTLE" about which you know NOTHING."
(--Maria Shriver, in MEMORY of the LATE Robin Williams)


(… PLEASE do NOT say to ME:
"OH, I KNOW how you FEEL"!)


...

ALWAYS "give it your ALL/BEST"!

…

"You have to accept whatever comes, and the only important

 thing is that you meet it with the best you have to give." 

--Eleanor Roosevelt



(… I've "accepted" my SIGNIFICANT, TRAUMATIC

injuries/disabilities.  As part of my RECOVERY-process, I 

"give my BEST" in ALL that I do.)


...