...
-- Weird Al ALREADY-parodied 'Star Wars' ... to the tune of 'American Pie':
"The Saga Begins"
"A long, long time ago
In a galaxy far away
Naboo was under an attack
And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn
Could talk the federation into
Maybe cutting them a little slack
But their response, it didn't thrill us
They locked the doors and tried to kill us
We escaped from that gas
Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass
We took a bongo from the scene
And we went to Theed to see the Queen
We all wound up on Tatooine
That's where we found this boy...
Oh my my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
Did you know this junkyard slave
Isn't even old enough to shave
But he can use the Force, they say
Ah, do you see him hitting on the queen
Though he's just nine and she's fourteen
Yeah, he's probably gonna marry her someday
Well, I know he built C-3PO
And I've heard how fast his pod can go
And we were broke, it's true
So we made a wager or two
He was a prepubescent flyin' ace
And the minute Jabba started off that race
Well, I knew who would win first place
Oh yes, it was our boy
We started singin' ...
My my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
Now we finally got to Coruscant
The Jedi Council we knew would want
To see how good the boy could be
So we took him there and we told the tale
How his midi-chlorians were off the scale
And he might fulfill that prophecy
Oh, the Council was impressed, of course
Could he bring balance to the Force?
They interviewed the kid
Oh, training they forbid
Because Yoda sensed in him much fear
And Qui-Gon said "Now listen here"
"Just stick it in your pointy ear"
"I still will teach this boy"
He was singin' ...
My my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
We caught a ride back to Naboo
'Cause Queen Amidala wanted to
I frankly would've liked to stay
We all fought in that epic war
And it wasn't long at all before
Little Hotshot flew his plane and saved the day
And in the end some Gunguns died
Some ships blew up and some pilots fried
A lot of folks were croakin'
The battle droids were broken
And the Jedi I admire most
Met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast
Well, I'm still here and he's a ghost
I guess I'll train this boy
And I was singin' ...
My my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
We were singin' ...
My my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
______________________________________________In a galaxy far away
Naboo was under an attack
And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn
Could talk the federation into
Maybe cutting them a little slack
But their response, it didn't thrill us
They locked the doors and tried to kill us
We escaped from that gas
Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass
We took a bongo from the scene
And we went to Theed to see the Queen
We all wound up on Tatooine
That's where we found this boy...
Oh my my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
Did you know this junkyard slave
Isn't even old enough to shave
But he can use the Force, they say
Ah, do you see him hitting on the queen
Though he's just nine and she's fourteen
Yeah, he's probably gonna marry her someday
Well, I know he built C-3PO
And I've heard how fast his pod can go
And we were broke, it's true
So we made a wager or two
He was a prepubescent flyin' ace
And the minute Jabba started off that race
Well, I knew who would win first place
Oh yes, it was our boy
We started singin' ...
My my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
Now we finally got to Coruscant
The Jedi Council we knew would want
To see how good the boy could be
So we took him there and we told the tale
How his midi-chlorians were off the scale
And he might fulfill that prophecy
Oh, the Council was impressed, of course
Could he bring balance to the Force?
They interviewed the kid
Oh, training they forbid
Because Yoda sensed in him much fear
And Qui-Gon said "Now listen here"
"Just stick it in your pointy ear"
"I still will teach this boy"
He was singin' ...
My my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
We caught a ride back to Naboo
'Cause Queen Amidala wanted to
I frankly would've liked to stay
We all fought in that epic war
And it wasn't long at all before
Little Hotshot flew his plane and saved the day
And in the end some Gunguns died
Some ships blew up and some pilots fried
A lot of folks were croakin'
The battle droids were broken
And the Jedi I admire most
Met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast
Well, I'm still here and he's a ghost
I guess I'll train this boy
And I was singin' ...
My my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
We were singin' ...
My my this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
...
I followed-suit.
'My Rehab-BattleS'
"About EIGHT years 'ah-GO',
I was driving inter-STATE.
My expired-tire? ... It ex-PLODED.
But, I was thinkin' I was 'HOT SHIT',
After I just 'gave ALL their egos a HIT'.
'COLLEGE-Boy'* JUST 'took them ALL to SCHOO'!
But, my drive HOME, it wasN'T that 'COO'.
I panicked & swerved, as my tire BLEW.
OVER seat belt, I was THROWN.
You MIGHT-say I'd 'reaped what I'd SEWN'.
I gained ONE-thing FROM that CRASH.
... I NOW-have seven 'butt-loads' of CASH.
'THANK-full-lee', there wasN'T a SMAAASH.
... Sooo, ... I've still-got ... my MIND.
...
Holy-COW, that really-WAS a big-OOOWWW!
Maybe girl I MISS will 'take my KISS'. ... NNNOOO! She just 'gave me a DISS'.
Ever since she left my HOME, her laugh has been MISSED.
I mumble, 'I yearn-FOR that romantic-BLISS.'
'I yearn-FOR that romantic-BLISS.'
...
Have you heard my 'Karate-TALK',
About my DETERMINED-zest to WALK?!
... I've got ALOTTA 'drive', you'll SEE.
Yes, did you read MY 'WALKING' at the GYM?!
... The owner SAW. I sure-SURPRISED HIM!
Yeah, I'm HOPEFULLY-gonna win a race SOMEDAAAY!
Y'all should GUESS my life is QUITE a MESS.
But, I ONLY do-super & won't settle for LESS.
... JUSTICE 'saw' HOPE, it's TRUE.
So, I made a million or TWO.
I'm a wheelchair-BOUND, quiet business-MAN,
... Who IS a SUCCESS despite my brain's LEG-BAN.
With-OUT my LEGS, I really-USE my RIGHT-HAND.
... But, ... I've STILL-got ... my MIND.
...
I'll just start WALKIN'.
... Oh, MY, ... GUYS! Just watch me RISE!
There'll be SUCCESS that's time-LESS. Now there are JUST lotsa SIGHS.
I'll leave my chair, after I rub & kiss BOTH my THIGHS.
I mumble, 'I yearn-FOR that romantic-BLISS.'
'I yearn-FOR that romantic-BLISS.'
...
Have you heard my 'Karate-TALK',
About my DETERMINED-zest to WALK?!
... I've got ALOTTA 'drive', you'll SEE.
Yes, did you read MY 'WALKING' at the GYM?!
... The owner SAW. I sure-SURPRISED HIM!
Yeah, I'm HOPEFULLY-gonna win a race SOMEDAAAY!
Y'all should GUESS my life is QUITE a MESS.
But, I ONLY do-super & won't settle for LESS.
... JUSTICE 'saw' HOPE, it's TRUE.
So, I made a million or TWO.
I'm a wheelchair-BOUND, quiet business-MAN,
... Who IS a SUCCESS despite my brain's LEG-BAN.
With-OUT my LEGS, I really-USE my RIGHT-HAND.
... But, ... I've STILL-got ... my MIND.
...
I'll just start WALKIN'.
... Oh, MY, ... GUYS! Just watch me RISE!
There'll be SUCCESS that's time-LESS. Now there are JUST lotsa SIGHS.
I'll leave my chair, after I rub & kiss BOTH my THIGHS.
Exclaimin', ''I'm gonna-SCREAM joyous-CRIES!''
''I'm gonna-SCREAM joyous-CRIES!''
...
Soooon, I'll get-to 'STRUT my STUFF'.
The REHAB-process sure-WAS quite-ROUGH.
... But, I've SHOWN I can 'take some PAIN'.
... So, I 'searched my GUT' to try-to REPEAT the FEAT.
I'm gettin' TIRED-of bein' ON my SEAT!
... But, I WILL-show LOTSA-GAIN!
... Well, my BRAIN knows-of my 'PUSH', for-SURE!
HOW can I PROVE my nerves aren't 'PURE'?!
EVERYONE doubts my PAIN.
... CONTRARY to THEM, I AM quite-SANE.
I design great techniques for my Karate-PEERS!
... I TEACH the KIDS to 'OVERCOME FEARS'.
... They listen-INTENTLY with their 'OPEN-EARS'.
I've still-GOT ... my GREAT-MIND.
...
I'll start WALKIN'.
... Oh, MY, ... GUYS! Just watch me RISE!
There'll be SUCCESS that's time-LESS. Now there are JUST lotsa SIGHS.
I'll leave my chair, after I rub & kiss BOTH my THIGHS.
... Oh, MY, ... GUYS! Just watch me RISE!
There'll be SUCCESS that's time-LESS. Now there are JUST lotsa SIGHS.
I'll leave my chair, after I rub & kiss BOTH my THIGHS.
Exclaimin', ''I'm gonna-SCREAM joyous-CRIES!''
''I'm gonna-SCREAM joyous-CRIES!''
...
I'll RID-myself OF my CHAIR,
... 'Cuz I'm TIRED-of SITTIN' THERE.
... Frankly, I doN'T WANNA-STAY!
My REHAB's been a CONSTANT-'WAR'.
I knew-NOT of my STRONG-'PUSH' BEFORE.
My LEG-nerves WILL RE-generate to support-MEEEEE!
... With my IN-creased MOVES, I'll 'look PAST TODAY'!
'Twas as-if my LEGS said, 'Look at me, HEY!'
Too-MANY folks were ... DOUBTIN'!
... There's REALLY ''no-use POUTIN''!
And, the 'BRAIN-powers' I use-MOST
... Are 'SOCIABILITY' & 'being a GOOD-HOST'.
Thank goodness FOR my MIND!
...
Sooo, I'll start WALKIN'.
... Oh, MY, ... GUYS! Just watch me RISE!
There'll be SUCCESS that's time-LESS. Now there are JUST lotsa SIGHS.
I'll leave my chair, after I rub & kiss BOTH my THIGHS.
... Oh, MY, ... GUYS! Just watch me RISE!
There'll be SUCCESS that's time-LESS. Now there are JUST lotsa SIGHS.
I'll leave my chair, after I rub & kiss BOTH my THIGHS.
Exclaimin', ''I'm gonna-SCREAM joyous-CRIES!''
''I'm gonna-SCREAM joyous-CRIES!''
...
I'll be-WALKIN'.
... Oh, MY, ... GUYS! Just watch me RISE!
There'll be SUCCESS that's time-LESS. Now there are JUST lotsa SIGHS.
I'll leave my chair, after I rub & kiss BOTH my THIGHS.
... Oh, MY, ... GUYS! Just watch me RISE!
There'll be SUCCESS that's time-LESS. Now there are JUST lotsa SIGHS.
I'll leave my chair, after I rub & kiss BOTH my THIGHS.
Exclaimin', ''I'm gonna-SCREAM joyous-CRIES!''"
KEY
* = 'Twas a PLAYFUL-nickname--given to ME--by the oldER "Martial Arts"-instructors at my dojo
...
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