(--Chinese proverb)
(... I am CERTAINLY VERY-FRIENDLY & -SOCIABLE! ... I am thus-IMPLYING that I am a "'WINDMILL'-Constructor/
-Engineer.)
((... The FACTS that I AM an "Engineer" (of Biomedicine) & Physics-expert are BONUSES!))
-- DESPITE my [CURRENT/TEMPORARY] "LESS-than IDEAL" PHYSICAL-condition,
I am "FAR-from being"
CANTANKEROUS
about it.
(... Today's "Word of the Day" is
'cantankerous', ... meaning "quarrelsome/disagreeable/PEEVISH".)
______________________________________________
-- At ~4:30 am, I AWOKE to urinate. ... In lieu of my "NOT 'being ABLE-to fall BACK asleep ... AND the COINCIDENTAL-time, I THOUGHT-to REVISE a song:
"Amish Paradise"
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
I've churned butter once or twice
Living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Living in an Amish paradise
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree, I really look good in black...fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired
There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe
It's as primitive as can be
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice
Living in an Amish paradise
Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Living in an Amish paradise"
_______________________________________________I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
I've churned butter once or twice
Living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Living in an Amish paradise
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree, I really look good in black...fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired
There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe
It's as primitive as can be
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice
Living in an Amish paradise
Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Living in an Amish paradise"
...
''Walker's IDEAL-Place''
"As I WALK-through the house where I entertain FRIENDS,
I look-at my LEGS, sigh, & wonder WHEN this all ENDS.
'No sweat', I thought. I'll just 'give it my BEST'.
... THAT's ONE thing I've got ... is 'buckets of ZEST'.
At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm WALKIN' TALL.
I feel energetic & proud, ... as if I wanna BRAWL. ... FOOL!
And, I've been silently-'WHEELIN' so LONG that
Even my sis--in Turkey--THINKS ... that my MIND is 'GONE'.
I'm a DETERMINED-man. ... I've GOT 'iron-WILL'.
Been OVER eight years, but I TRY everyday STILL!
But, if I SHIFT my hip-weight, so there's a nice-MIX,
Then, EVENTUALLY I'll DANCE ... like it's 2006!
I've been ''CHILLIN'' about four YEARS,
''PUTZ'in'' IN a Walker's IDEAL-PLACE!
I TEND-to need ALOTTA SPACE,
''PUTZ'in'' IN a Walker's IDEAL-PLACE!
I sure-woN'T WIN a SPEED-RACE,
''PUTZ'in'' IN a Walker's IDEAL-PLACE!
I doN'T wanna 'KERSPLAT'-onto my FACE,
''PUTZ'in'' IN a Walker's IDEAL-PLACE!
My LEGS started ACHIN' in my quads last NIGHT.
I just 'shrugged it off' & thought, ''The END's in SIGHT.''
... I really-doN'T fret. In fact, 'tis time pain 'SERVES'
As a 'WAKE-UP call' for my SEEMINGLY 'DEAD-NERVES'.
So, I woN'T EVER hit my HEAD on the ground, even-IF my LEGS just 'STOP'.
... I can STILL shoulder-ROLL. So, my 'DRIVE' woN'T DROP!
I try NOT-to look-DOWN with my PRETTY blue EYES.
My friends ALL-agree: I 'carry myself BIG' for my SIZE ... FOOL!
Since I've been HURT, it's IN-creased my FEARS.
I haveN'T RUN ... at-ALL .. in ABOUT ... NINE-YEARS.
I'm still REALLY-SMART. So, doN'T call me 'RE-TARDED'!
In terms of 'writing my BOOK', I'm just ''gettin' STARTED''!
There's MUSCLE there ... with LOTSA BULK,
But, no 'AK-TIHV'-NERVES.
Like my mom's DRIVING,
My WALKING's got ALOTTA SWERVES.
I've been ''CHILLIN'' about four YEARS,
''PUTZ'in'' IN a Walker's IDEAL-PLACE!
I TEND-to need ALOTTA SPACE,
''PUTZ'in'' IN a Walker's IDEAL-PLACE!
I sure-woN'T WIN a SPEED-RACE,
''PUTZ'in'' IN a Walker's IDEAL-PLACE!
My MATH-GENIUS provides a SOLID-BASE!
''PUTZ'in'' IN a Walker's IDEAL-PLACE!
Usin' my MOMENTUM, steadyin'-UP my HIPS,
... I KNOW my posture's NOT-great. So, I WELCOME some TIPS.
THINK that JUST-'cuz I've got an injured-brain you're smartER than I?!
Well, all I'll do to THAT ... is CHUCKLE ... & SIGH.
... I'm the GENIUS-stud ALL the 'NORMEES' wanna BE-LIKE.
... On my butt, DAY & NIGHT, notin' the MANY rigors of LIFE.
... So, doN'T be VAIN, ... & doN'T be LAZY!
... Or soon, you TWERP, I'll 'kick your ass'. Then, you'll be quite-HAZY.
I've been ''CHILLIN'' about four YEARS,
''PUTZ'in'' IN a Walker's IDEAL-PLACE!
I TEND-to need ALOTTA SPACE,
''PUTZ'in'' IN a Walker's IDEAL-PLACE!
I sure-woN'T WIN a SPEED-RACE,
''PUTZ'in'' IN a Walker's IDEAL-PLACE!
My nerves' NOT-'RE-growing' has SLOWED my PACE!
''PUTZ'in'' IN a Walker's IDEAL-PLACE!"
_______________________________________________
...
-- (LONG, LOUD, AUDIBLE-sigh)
After almost-EVERY "LATE-night"/"EARLY-morning"-"bowel movement", I HAFTA-remind/CORRECT my NIGHT-Caregiver to record "the day's ACTUAL-date" ... & NOT "the shift's START-date"!
... AAARRRGGGHHH! UUUGGGHHH!
"K.I.S.S."!
(... "Keep It Simple, Stupid"! ... EMPHASIS on the LACK-of INTELLIGENCE!)
-- "The ENDS justify the MEANS."
(--Machiavelli)
(... Machiavelli NEVER-said this. What he actually said is, “One must consider the final result,” which isn’t as eloquent but still just kind of common sense.)
-- The frickin' Bible is OFTEN MIS-quoted as stating:
"MONEY is the 'ROOT of ALL-EVIL'."
(... IF THIS-interpretation WERE TRUE, then y'ALL would consider ME ... QUITEE-HEINOUS, -ABOMINABLE & ... -WICKED.)
... 'Tis ACTUALLY "'the LOVE of MONEY' is the ROOT of ALL-EVIL". In THAT-case, I'm FINE, ... 'cuz I often-FORGET ... that I have "OODLES" of cash.
-- The LEGENDARY-Gandhi is FREQUENTLY MIS-quoted as saying:
"BE the CHANGE you wish to SEE in the world."
... His ACTUAL-words were the following:
“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him…We need not wait to see what others do.”
(... Gandhi's ACTUAL-quote seems FAR-more OPTIMISTIC ... & on a SMALLER-scale.)
-- "IF we-ALL did the things we were CAPABLE-of DOING,
we would literally ASTOUND-ourselves."
(--Thomas Alva Edison)
... I PLEASANTLY-/WELCOMINGLY "SURPRISED-MYSELF" the other-day, my LEG-ACHES soon-demonstrated GREAT, STABLE WEIGHT-SHIFTING!
(--Machiavelli)
(... Machiavelli NEVER-said this. What he actually said is, “One must consider the final result,” which isn’t as eloquent but still just kind of common sense.)
-- The frickin' Bible is OFTEN MIS-quoted as stating:
"MONEY is the 'ROOT of ALL-EVIL'."
(... IF THIS-interpretation WERE TRUE, then y'ALL would consider ME ... QUITEE-HEINOUS, -ABOMINABLE & ... -WICKED.)
... 'Tis ACTUALLY "'the LOVE of MONEY' is the ROOT of ALL-EVIL". In THAT-case, I'm FINE, ... 'cuz I often-FORGET ... that I have "OODLES" of cash.
-- The LEGENDARY-Gandhi is FREQUENTLY MIS-quoted as saying:
"BE the CHANGE you wish to SEE in the world."
... His ACTUAL-words were the following:
“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him…We need not wait to see what others do.”
(... Gandhi's ACTUAL-quote seems FAR-more OPTIMISTIC ... & on a SMALLER-scale.)
-- "IF we-ALL did the things we were CAPABLE-of DOING,
we would literally ASTOUND-ourselves."
(--Thomas Alva Edison)
... I PLEASANTLY-/WELCOMINGLY "SURPRISED-MYSELF" the other-day, my LEG-ACHES soon-demonstrated GREAT, STABLE WEIGHT-SHIFTING!
-- To any/ALL observers of my "WALKING":
"Doubt me. Hate me. Rate me. Shake me. Break me. Now watch me."
...
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