I've (SOMEWHAT-) recently felt rather UN-appreciated by those (SUPPOSED to-be) "CLOSE-to" me.
Ergo, ...
(SING to the tune of 'One Week' by "Barenaked Ladies".)
(A.J.'s version is entitled
'Wheel-Chair'.)
"It TOOK … one wheel-chair for you to think of ME,
Cocked your head to the side & said, 'DUMB crih-PEE'.
Eight YEARS since you LAUGHED-with ME, SAYIN',
''Quit jokin', STAND-up & kiss ME.''
Five months since the AFTER-thought:
I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't TELL you.
This morning 'twas quite REDEEMING
To have the Karate-class do two techniques of MINE.
'Bite your tongue' now & watch my eye WINK,
As I make you stop, THINK.
You'll think you're lookin' AT Stephen HAWKING.
I don't like to be WRONG. To get in the car I take LONG.
I don't listen to much MUSIC,
'Cuz I can't see a SONG.
I wear glasses, so I got '4 EYEZ'.
I thought 'twas just a PHASE.
But, I've been wrong BEFORE.
I used-to have 'mad-WITS'.
But, NOW, try to beat me with 'smart-HITS',
You try-to STUMP-me, but to no-AVAIL.
Gonna make 'ya ACHE, with a 'lil booty-SHAKE
When it comes to DANCIN', I 'got ALL da MOVES'.
Gotta see my CLASS, you'll slap your ASS
'Cuz my techniques are so SKILLFUL.
I also use HUMOR.
How can I help it if I think just about e'rything's FUN-NEE?!
Tryin' to frown though I'm full of GLEE.
I'm the kind of guy who laughs as he gets 'GROUNDED'.
Observers just say I'm well-ROUNDED.
I tend-to be quite opti-mis-TIC.
I'm pretty, but I won't wear lip-STICK.
It's BEEN … eight years since my acci-DENT.Strangers still shake their heads & ASK
If my thinking's 'bad' & 'BENT'.
Eight years since I pinned a DUDE.
He claimed he fights BETTER, which I thought was RUDE.
It's been … three years since I got it to motor-IZE.
Ironically, this 'T.B.I.' made me even-more WISE.
This year, I'm still quite SAD.
But, I can't help but be proud of my martial arts as 'not-BAD'.
Honk, honk. Watch-out, I'm backin' UP.
I still hate dogs. As I was recently bit by my mom's PUP.
Watchin' 'The Big Lebowski' with GUESTS
We're ''puffin'-OUT our CHESTS".
I hope I doN'T 'piss my PANTS'.
Like Dana Carvey, I'm gettin' FUN-EE.
I'm sweet like HUN-EE.
Like McDonald's ''I'm LOVIN' it.''
Like 'The Proclaimers', I'd walk 500 MILES.
… 'Kay, I can't WALK.
But if I could, I'd run a mara-THON.
Gonna get a better set o' LEGS.
Gonna find ones that don't give me so many 'NEGGS'.
Just so my head isn't droopin'-down like it's on a SWING.
Gotta get in-TUNE with my ex-GIRL
'Cuz she's got the--BOOM--'lines & CURVES'
That make me think the wrong-THING.
How can I help it if I think just about e'rything's FUN-NEE?!
Tryin' to frown though I'm full of GLEE.
I'm the kind of guy who laughs as he gets 'GROUNDED'.
Observers just say I'm well-ROUNDED.
I tend-to be quite opti-mis-TIC.
I'm pretty, but I won't wear lip-STICK.
It's BEEN … four years since you saw me semi-WALK.
Shook your head & MUTTERED:
'That's still shih-TEE.'
Three years since I chuckled & SAID:
'Stick THAT in your pipe & SMOKE-it.'
One year since my new houseMATE
He just chuckles & stands in AWE
Of what I can still DO.
Last week I just 'cracked a JOKE',
'Cuz "'LAUGHTER' is … the best 'MEDICINE'.''
My wheelchair is JUST TEMP-OR-ARIE.
My wheelchair is JUST TEMP-OR-ARIE.
'Walking' will soon be my hah-BEE!"
(ACTUAL song-lyrics to/for 'One Week':)
It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side and said, "I'm angry."
Five days since you laughed at me saying,
"Get back together come back and see me."
Three days since the living room
I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
but it'll still be two days 'til I say I'm sorry
Hold it now and watch the hoodwink
As I make you stop, think
You'll think you're looking at Aquaman
I summon fish to the dish, although I like the Chalet Swiss
I like the sushi
'Cause it's never touched a frying pan
Hot like wasabi when I bust rhymes
Big like LeAnn Rimes
Because I'm all about value
Bert Kaempfert's got the mad hits
You try to match wits, you try to hold me but I bust through
Gonna make a break and take a fake
I'd like a stinking aching shake
I like vanilla, it's the finest of the flavours
Gotta see the show, 'cause then you'll know
That vertigo is gonna grow
'Cause it's so dangerous,
you'll have to sign a waiver
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt
It's been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air
and said, "You're crazy."
Five days since you tackled me
I've still got the rug burns on both my knees
It's been three days since the afternoon
You realized it's not my fault
not a moment too soon
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
And now I sit back and wait 'til you say you're sorry
Chickity China the Chinese chicken
You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'
Watchin' X-Files with no lights on
We're dans la maison
I hope the Smoking Man's in this one
Like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic
Like Sting I'm tantric
Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy
Like Kurosawa I make mad films
Okay, I don't make films
But if I did they'd have a Samurai
Gonna get a set a' better clubs
Gonna find the kind with tiny nubs
Just so my arms aren't always flying off the back-swing
Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon
'Cause that cartoon has got the boom anime babes
That make me think the wrong thing
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
You soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of losing my shirt
It's been one week since you looked at me
Dropped your arms to your sides
and said, "I'm sorry."
Five days since I laughed at you and said,
"You just did just what I thought you were gonna do."
Three days since the living room
We realized we're both to blame,
but what could we do?
Yesterday you just smiled at me
Cause it'll still be two days 'til we say we're sorry
It'll still be two days 'til we say we're sorry
It'll still be two days 'til we say we're sorry
Birchmount Stadium, home of the Robbie
Cocked your head to the side and said, "I'm angry."
Five days since you laughed at me saying,
"Get back together come back and see me."
Three days since the living room
I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
but it'll still be two days 'til I say I'm sorry
Hold it now and watch the hoodwink
As I make you stop, think
You'll think you're looking at Aquaman
I summon fish to the dish, although I like the Chalet Swiss
I like the sushi
'Cause it's never touched a frying pan
Hot like wasabi when I bust rhymes
Big like LeAnn Rimes
Because I'm all about value
Bert Kaempfert's got the mad hits
You try to match wits, you try to hold me but I bust through
Gonna make a break and take a fake
I'd like a stinking aching shake
I like vanilla, it's the finest of the flavours
Gotta see the show, 'cause then you'll know
That vertigo is gonna grow
'Cause it's so dangerous,
you'll have to sign a waiver
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt
It's been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air
and said, "You're crazy."
Five days since you tackled me
I've still got the rug burns on both my knees
It's been three days since the afternoon
You realized it's not my fault
not a moment too soon
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
And now I sit back and wait 'til you say you're sorry
Chickity China the Chinese chicken
You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'
Watchin' X-Files with no lights on
We're dans la maison
I hope the Smoking Man's in this one
Like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic
Like Sting I'm tantric
Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy
Like Kurosawa I make mad films
Okay, I don't make films
But if I did they'd have a Samurai
Gonna get a set a' better clubs
Gonna find the kind with tiny nubs
Just so my arms aren't always flying off the back-swing
Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon
'Cause that cartoon has got the boom anime babes
That make me think the wrong thing
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
You soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of losing my shirt
It's been one week since you looked at me
Dropped your arms to your sides
and said, "I'm sorry."
Five days since I laughed at you and said,
"You just did just what I thought you were gonna do."
Three days since the living room
We realized we're both to blame,
but what could we do?
Yesterday you just smiled at me
Cause it'll still be two days 'til we say we're sorry
It'll still be two days 'til we say we're sorry
It'll still be two days 'til we say we're sorry
Birchmount Stadium, home of the Robbie
________________________________________________
So, TODAY, I actually SLEPT "soundly".
(… "NOICE.")
I arose at 6:24 am … from my "stomach's RUMBLING".
So, FIRST, I "WALKED"-over to my toilet for my "MORNING-urination".
(WARNING) THEN, ~"a quarter of an hour" later, my "stomach started RUMBLING". So, I "hopped into/onto my TOILET-chair" to "Dump a Dirty-Deposit of Defecation". "Alliteration aside."(--'Dodgeball')
(… For SOME-reason, I ALWAYS feel SO RELIEVED, RELAXED & just BETTER AFTER a SUCCESSFUL "POOP".)
(… NO! THAT--ALONE--does NOT make me STRANGE.
… My NUMEROUS OTHER QUIRKS do!)
(… E.g. I do MENTAL-math REALLY-QUICK … for EVERYTHING! I USED-to cook withOUT a recipe … ONLY by TASTE! I MEMORIZE SPORTS-stats … AND movie-QUOTES! ...)
At Karate-class, my BUDDY/'Sempai' demonstrated/reviewed TWO of MY Jujitsu-techniques for the SURPRISINGLY "VERY WELL-behaved" (~20) KIDS.
...
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