-- "Here's to those who wish us WELL,
and those who don't can go to HELL."
(--'Seinfeld')
... "There's too-MUCH 'URINARY-FREEDOM' in our society. ... I'm PROUD-to 'HOLD-it'.
... "If I don't go when I feel like I have to...I could get UROMYSITISIS and die!"
(--Jerry, 'Seinfeld')
(... As a Biomedical-Engineer, I feel OBLIGATED to ALWAYS-determine an "ESCAPE-route" upon ENTERING a room. ... I've GOT-to "CALCULATE a 'path of LEAST-resistence'" for my "urinary-OUTPUT".)
((... I am, thus, CONSTANTLY "BURDENED-with" this "HEAVY-load of MATHEMATICAL-/LOGICAL-/PHYSICS-KNOWLEDGE. (... AUDIBLE-sigh) Would I RATHER "SUFFER" in KINDA my-OWN type of SEMI-SILENT "OMNISCIENCE"? ... HHHMMM.))
... Speaking of "MY SILENT-FRUSTRATION" regarding MY "urinary-URGENCY", this MORNING--at 5:48 am, I AWOKE-to my "penile-ALARM of IMPENDING urinary-SECRETION". (... In OTHER-words, I HAD-to PISS!)
... Yet, (AUDIBLE-sigh ... AGAIN) my most-IGNORANT Caregiver--whom I WAS really/actually beginning-to TOLERATE--just does-NOT understand the concept of "MULTI-tasking". He ACTUALLY-SAID to me:
(... like an "EEE-DIOT!) (COUGH cough) (... I had a "TICKLE in my throat".)
"I THOUGHT I HAD-to WAIT for you [ME] to LOWER the bed, ... BEFORE I could put-ON your [MY] shoes."
My INTERNAL-response: "UUUNNNGGGHHH!"
-- How "FITTING"/APPROPRIATE that there was ... yet-ANOTHER ... "SEVEN-hour 'MARATHON'" (9:00 am to 4:00 pm) of MY FAVORITE/ONLY (MATH-based) television show 'NUMB3RS'.
... I HAD-to "BREAK"-for SPEECH-Therapy then GYM-time.
-- "'BIRTHDAYS' are merely-'SYMBOLIC' of how ANOTHER-year has gone-by & how LITTLE we've 'GROWN'."
(--Jerry, 'Seinfeld')
... MY RECOVERY/REHAB is a SERIES of GRADUAL-IMPROVEMENTS ... that are USUALLY only DETECTABLE by "'the TRAINED-eye' of one who does-NOT witness my EVERYDAY-activities" ...
OR ME.
-- "As you get oldER, you will UNDERSTAND more & MORE that it's NOT about what you LOOK-like OR what you OWN, it's ALL-about the PERSON you've 'BECOME'."
(--UNKNOWN)
(... I've recognized all-too-WELL , that "SOCIETY" is "FAR-too QUICK" to "'JUDGE' a 'BOOK' by its 'COVER'". ... Nevertheless, I'm "becoming" MORE- & MORE-COMFORTABLE with my EXTERNAL-APPEARANCE ... in my WHEELCHAIR ... with my DynaVox.
-- We cannot choose our "BEGINNINGS". We cannot choose our "END". But, the moments in-BETWEEN we choose who we are.
... I did-NOT "CHOOSE" the TIME/DAY/DATE of MY "'NATAL-escape' from my mother's 'PRISON-esque WOMB'". ... My REMARKABLE NEURAL-determination would-NOT let my "BREATHING-days" END during/after my CALAMITOUS-accident.
... 'Tis during the AFTERMATH of SAID-"CATASTROPHE", that I've REALLY-LEARNED "what makes me TICK".
... Live "INSPIRED".
(... In OTHER-words, "CONSTANTLY-read MY NIGHTLY-blog."
... I'll DO what I CAN.)
-- I'm yet-ANOTHER YEAR oldER.
"So, I made a 'BUCKET-list'.
…
THEN, I changed the 'B' to an 'F', and now I'm SET."
(--Jerry Seinfeld on 'Late Show with David Letterman')
… Since I AM an OPTIMIST, I woN'T COMPLETELY-"exnay" SOME of my "GOALS"--like "run a marathon" or "SWIM everyday". I'll merely TWEEK or ADJUST 'em. E.g. They'll be "'COMPLETE' a marathon" & "Swim 'OFTEN'".
... HOWEVER, when "dealing with 'TIME'", ... I'm KINDA ... "UP SHIT-Creek with-OUT a paddle".
E.g. I PLANNED-on "being HAPPILY-MARRIED BY my 30th birthday. ( : ( )
So, I'll REVISE that by DELETING the AGE-stipulation:
A GOAL of MINE is to ... ONE/SOME day ... BE 'HAPPILY-MARRIED'."
-- "What is 'AGE' but a 'state of MIND'?!"
(--'Bowfinger')
... I doN'T FEEL any oldER. ... So,the 31st-birthday is NOT a "PHYSICAL"-issue ... even in MY-case.
... "With 'AGE' ... comes 'WISDOM'."
... "'EXPERIENCE' & 'OPENNESS' breed 'lessons-LEARNED',"
(--the GREAT Altan Kaynatma)
-- "'Knowing YOURSELF' is the BEGINNING of ALL WISDOM."
(--Aristotle)
... "Altan Javit Kaynatma" is a SHMORGASBORD of ANOMALIES, IDIOSYNCRASIES/QUIRKS, VIRTUES & SEEMING-CONTRADICTIONS.
... "To the UN-trained eye", A.J. is a WEIRDO.
... But, I RECOGNIZE his "UNIQUENESS", "COURAGE ... to be-DIFFERENT" & "DISCIPLINE to 'HARNESS' it".
-- "You're only as old as you FEEL."
OFTEN I FEEL-like ... a CENTENARIAN, MAINLY 'cuz of my PHYSICAL IN-ability to perform NUMEROUS SEEMINGLY-"basic" EVERYDAY-tasks.
... On a LIGHTER-note, I'm POSITIVE that "[I'm] WISE BEYOND [my] years."
... I.e. (Mom, I apologize for "bringing this up" ... AGAIN.) My IQ-score has been highER than that of my VERY-SMART mother for ... AWHILE.
... In CONTRAST, my SPEECH-Therapist "took me to SCHOOL"*--ONLY-TODAY--in Scrabble. The "WINNING" is really a "TOSS-UP", as we're--USUALLY--fairly "EVENLY-matched".
-- I have been LAUDABLY-"BATTLING" my "T.B.I" for ...
2,833 (EMOTIONALLY-) "PAINFUL"/"DEBILITATING" days.
((... 2833 days in REHAB/11323 days in EXISTENCE ... EXCLUDING the ~2,099 DAYS (= ~5.75 YEARS) that the IGNORANT-government FAILED-to RECOGNIZE.ACKNOWLEDGE my EXISTENCE ... = ~25.02% of my CURRENT-life))
... SAID-"life-percentage" will-ONLY DE-crease, as I AGE**.
... "'TIME' is the only true unit of measure. It gives proof to
the existence of matter. With-OUT time, we don't exist.
(--Lucy, 'Lucy')
... "For primitive beings like us, life seems to have only one single purpose: gaining time. And it is going through time that seems to be also the only real purpose of each of the cells in our bodies. To achieve that aim, the mass of the cells that make up earthworms and human beings has only two solutions. Be immortal, or to reproduce. If its habitat is not sufficiently favorable or nurturing, the cell will choose immortality. In other words, self-sufficiency and self-management. On the other hand, if the habitat is favorable, they will choose to reproduce. That way, when they die, they hand down essential information and knowledge to the next cell. Which hands it down to the next cell and so on. Thus knowledge and learning are handed down through time."
(--Professor Norman, 'Lucy')
... By THIS-reasoning, MY BODY-cells SSSEEM-to
"SELECT" "IMMORTALITY", ... 'cuz MY PHYSICAL-body is
NOT "SELF-sufficient". ... MENTALLY,
LOGICALLY/LOGISTICALLY/COGNITIVELY,
MATHEMATICALLY--I'm "WAY-ABOVE 'normal'". ...
PSYCHOLOGICALLY & EMOTIONALLY--I'm
"QUESTIONABLE ... at BEST".
-- Regarding my UN-planned "entrepreneurship" of "SELF-
care":
"This is NOT a 'democracy'. It IS a DICTATORSHIP!
... I AM the LAW!"
(--Coach Boone, 'Remember the Titans')
(... I AM ... a "TITAN" ... of "MENTAL-/PSYCHOLOGICAL-
'POWER'"!)
________________________________________________
-- As I--IM-patiently--await a SIGNIFICANT-/NOTEWORTHY-
"health-IMPROVEMENT", I TEND-to THINK-of ... the TITLE
of this SONG ... 'cuz I do-NOT KNOW the lyrics***:
"Time After Time"
(Cyndi Lauper)
"Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,
And think of you
Caught up in circles confusion -
Is nothing new
Flashback - warm nights -
Almost left behind
Suitcases of memories,
Time after -
Sometimes you picture me -
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me, I can't hear
What you've said -
Then you say - go slow -
I fall behind -
The second hand unwinds
[Chorus:]
If you're lost you can look - and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you - I'll be waiting
Time after time
After my picture fades and darkness has
Turned to gray
Watching through windows - you're wondering
If I'm OK
Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time -
[Chorus:]
If you're lost...
You said go slow -
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds -
[Chorus:]
If you're lost...
...Time after time
Time after time
Time after time
Time after time
____________________________________________________________________________
entitled,
'Awaiting the Time'
"'WALKING' at my gym, I see my LEGS STALL.
I quick-SHUT my EYES,
Searchin'-FOR that neural-bahLEHNS.
... WHERE did it GO?
'HURT-nerves' ... 'Sound-MIND'.
Almost TOO hope-LESS.
... WHERE's the 'muscle-MEH-MOHR-EE'?!
Ah-WAITING the ...
SOMETIMES I envision MY
... WHERE did it GO?
'HURT-nerves' ... 'Sound-MIND'.
Almost TOO hope-LESS.
... WHERE's the 'muscle-MEH-MOHR-EE'?!
Ah-WAITING the ...
SOMETIMES I envision MY
'WALKING' quite-care-FULL-EE.
I'm SHIFTING my weight , hip-to-HIP.
I'm try-ING!
My BRAIN says ONE-THING.
My LEGS 'ig-NORE'.
'BACK-to the drawing-BOARD'.
[CHORUS:]
When I'm 'LOST', I 'strive-ON', ... for 'in-SIDE' I'm JUST
Ah-WAITING the TIME.
When I err, I MUST-be PAY-shent-lee WAITING,
Ah-WAITING the TIME!
I may-NOT LOOK-like MUCH
With my wheel-CHAIR.
Using my 'DynaVox', you're PONDERING
IF I'm 'let-JIT'.
My 'STOH-REED past' from great eh-VENTS
'Tells' that I woN'T 'give-UP'.
[CHORUS]
Be PAY-shent, DUDE!
... I quickly-TIRE.
LITTLE rehab occurs NOW.
[CHORUS]
... Ah-WAITING the TIME.
Ah-WAITING the TIME.
Ah-WAITING the TIME.
Ah-WAITING the TIIIME!"
_____________________________________________________________________________
... EVER THINK-about THAT?!
... (PAUSE for effect)
... No. ... You ONLY-think about YOURSELF.
(... I'm sticking-OUT my TONGUE.)
-- YAY for VISITORS.GUESTS ... who are ALWAYS-WELCOME!
... My mom & housemate are "HONORING me" with a pleasant-DINNER ... to "CELEBRATE"/"COMMEMORATE" my 31st "BIRFDAY".
... Ergo, at ~6:20 pm EST, I should put-ON my FACE".
... Whoa, THAT was SMALL, SIMPLE ... & KICK-ASS!
'Twas JUST the THREE of us. I ENJOYED a NARROW-VICTORY over my mom in three-person CRIBBAGE. ... PLUS, I liked how "SMOOTH" & UN-eventful my EATING of coconut cream pie went! (... I only-ATE THREE bites of the CRUST ... per my MAIN-Nurse's instructions.)
... NOW, get-PREPPED for TOMORROW's FESTIVITIES!
-- "I’ve made it my mission in life to find the poetry in everything. That idea has been the basis of a lot of things for me. It’s what structures this blog. It is what gets me through my workouts – my days."
(--FORMER UFC Women's Bantamweight Champion Ronda Rousey)
-- EMOTIONALLY & PSYCHOLOGICALLY--ONLY, I'm a "soggy SHIT-sandwich". Nevertheless, I "march ONWARD".
... "Out-here," (IN MY "WAY out-there" mind) "EVERYTHING 'hurts'." (... EMOTIONALLY)
(--Imperiosa, 'Mad Max: Fury Road')
-- EMOTIONALLY & PSYCHOLOGICALLY--ONLY, I'm a "soggy SHIT-sandwich". Nevertheless, I "march ONWARD".
... "Out-here," (IN MY "WAY out-there" mind) "EVERYTHING 'hurts'." (... EMOTIONALLY)
(--Imperiosa, 'Mad Max: Fury Road')
-- I'm "in the PROCESS" of becoming the BEST-version of MYSELF.
--> Conclusion = "To be DETERMINED"
KEY
* = METAPHORICALLY
(... I--LITERALLY--RETURN-to graduate "SCHOOL" on May 10th.)
** = Per the "Law of Diminishing Returns"
(... It's a BUSINESS-application of a MATHEMATICAL-principle.)
*** = I JUST-knew the TITLE, ... which INTRIGUED me.
...
* = METAPHORICALLY
(... I--LITERALLY--RETURN-to graduate "SCHOOL" on May 10th.)
** = Per the "Law of Diminishing Returns"
(... It's a BUSINESS-application of a MATHEMATICAL-principle.)
*** = I JUST-knew the TITLE, ... which INTRIGUED me.
...
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