Monday, November 10, 2014

"I'm not 'SOME KIND of NERD'."


"I am the KING of NERDS."
(--Leonard, 'The Big Bang Theory')

To review:
-- I did NOT receive/earn a "B"--on a report-card--'til my BOLD "venture" into the "Bioengineering"-major freshman year of undergraduate-COLLEGE at "Ivy League"-University of Pennsylvania.
-- I was VALEDICTORIAN of my graduating class of 2003 from the PRESTIGIOUS high school of Saint Thomas Aquinas in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.
-- I was ~six months IN on an "Accelerated Master's Degree", when my UNFORTUNATE car-accident occurred.
-- I earned a PERFECT "800" on my "MATH-S.A.T."
-- (I COULD go on and on and on … & ON about my "LAUNDRY-LIST" of academic-accolades, but I'll spare thee.
((… Y'ALL: (Sigh of RELIEF) "WHEW!"))

___________________________________________________


Why do I CONSTANTLY feel 'tis NECESSARY to name my PLENTITUDE/PLETHORA/MYRIAD of "ILLUSTRIOUS" (Go ahead: paint a PICTURE … of my scholastic-SUPERLATIVES.  I DARE ya!) recognitions of my REMARKABLE INTELLIGENCE?!

… I'll tell you:
Since I--SUPPOSEDLY--have an INTENSE/SERIOUS brain-injury, NO ONE--upon FIRST meeting me--takes my ASTOUNDING MENTAL-"strength" seriously!  It's TERRIBLY UNFORTUNATE to note … that through MY (PHYSICALLY-)disabled observations over the last ~6.33+ YEARS, I've noticed that FAR TOO MANY people are FAR TOO QUICK to make FALSE,
(EMOTIONALLY-)"HURTFUL", DISMISSIVE assumptions about my MENTAL-fortitude!
((… It's like EVERYONE bought "Milton"'s ''JUMP to Conclusions'-Mat''(--'Office Space'))

Ergo, I CONSTANTLY feel the NEED to CORRECT these INCORRECT "judgments".


P.S. I "telekinetically" made a tumor "APPEAR" on the X-ray of MY brain.
(… For Halloween I dressed as a PRE-balding, wheelchair-bound, mentally-ASTONISHING Professor X from 'X Men'.)

____________________________________________________________________________

"I very rarely think in words at all. A thought comes, and I 

may try to express it in words afterwards." -Albert Einstein

(… I think in NUMBERS.

I encounter a "PREDICAMENT", and I attempt to "SOLVE" 

said "PROBLEM" by QUICKLY determining the 

PROBABILITY of SUCCESS.

… Over a NUMBER of "TRIALS"--IF this action is a 

REPEATED exercise, then I'd then analyze the resulting 

STATISTICS.)


… The DIFFICULT aspect is ACCURATELY DESCRIBING 

said "NUMBERS" to OTHERS.


(… I'd IMAGINE/HOPE that MY way of "PROBLEM-

SOLVING"/"QUANTITATIVE ANALYSIS" may/will be 

EASIER with/in my MATH-tutoring.)


_______________________________________________

...
"If you think about it, it's a GREAT word:

'MA'--which is good … and 'NEWER'--which is GREAT.

Break it down: 'MA', 'NEWER'.

Where's the PROBLEM?"

(--George, 'Seinfeld')

(… Said "GREAT word" is "MANURE"--a NOT-SO 
______________________________________________


Tomorrow morning, I SHALL begin my MATH-tutoring 

service.  

(… HOPEFULLY--Actually, I'm CONFIDENT, I can CONVEY 

my MATHEMATICAL "picture-making"/"problem-

solving"/"IMAGERY" to my "tutEE".)  


______________________________________________


As my "neuropsychologist" BRILLIANTLY concluded, 

"NUMBERS RELAX (me)."

ALAS:

"How many times do I have to get SCREWED, before I learn

my lesson?!"

(--'Scorpion', an episode about a MATHEMATICAL-algorithm 

used to generate award-winning music)










MORAL

CONTRARY to MY CONSTANT quantitative-analysis, 

numbers/math caN'T solve/predict EVERYTHING … just A 

LOT!




...

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