This IS America. ... IdN'T it?!

...  
-- "Do you have any-CONCEIVABLE reason for getting-UP in the morning?!"
(--Cosmo Kramer, 'Seinfeld')

... How 'bout "to HOST my "SUPER Bowl Par-TAY"?!

... BEFORE said "FUN-festivity", I was--UN-fortunately--"arrested for 'MOPERY'"*.


... "Sometimes it's the very people whoM no one imagines anything of who do the things no one can imagine."
(--'The Imitation Game')
(... "NEVER 'JUDGE' a 'book' by its 'COVER'."                  Personally, I get QUITE-OFFENDED, when "IGNORANT"/UN-knowing people THINK & just "ASS-ume" they "KNOW how I FEEL".  ...
NO ONE--on EARTH--who can SPEAK--could POSSIBLY "KNOW how (I) FEEL"!)      

... The man I WAS ... YESTERDAY, 
introduced ME to the man I AM ... TODAY; 
which makes me VERY-EXCITED about 'MEETING'
the man I WILL-BECOME ... TOMORROW.
(... Since I WAS so SMART, BIOPHYSICALLY-KNOWEDGABLE, ATHLETIC, FRIENDLY & SOCIAL, I "PREPARED-myself", for when "the 'SHIT'--SURPRISINGLY--hit the FAN" on that TERRIBLE-day of July 6, 2008.)         


-- "S.O.B."
(with The Night Sweats)

"I'm gonna need someone to help me
I'm gonna need somebody's hand
I'm gonna need someone to hold me down
I'm gonna need someone to care
I'm gonna writhe and shake my body
I'll start pulling out my hair
I'm going to cover myself with the ashes of you
And nobody's gonna give a damn

Son of a bitch, give me a drink
One more night escaping me
Son of a bitch
If I can't get clean I'm gonna drink my life away

Now for seventeen years I've been throwing them back
Seventeen more will bury me
Can somebody please just tie me down
Or somebody give me a goddamn drink

Son of a bitch, give me a drink
One more night
This can't be me
Son of a bitch
If I can't get clean I'm gonna drink my life away
Hey, Yeah now

My heart was breaking, hands are shaking
Bugs are crawling all over me
My heart was breaking, hands are shaking
Bugs are crawling all over me
My heart was breaking, hands are shaking
Bugs are crawling all over me
My heart was aching, hands are shaking
Bugs are crawling all over me

Son of a bitch, give me a drink
One more night
This can't be me
Son of a bitch
If I can't get clean I'm gonna drink my life away
Son of a bitch, give me a drink
Son of a bitch
This can't be me
Son of a bitch
If I can't get clean I'm gonna drink my life away
Yeah ah"

(... Now, MY-version, 
entitled 'NERD-in-a-Chair':)

"I'm gonna-NEED my LEGS to STAND-UP!
I'm gonna-NEED some 'self-DRIVE'!
I'm gonna-NEED leg-NERVES to TIMELY 'kick-IN'!
I'm gonna-NEED 'peeps' to no-TIHS
My CONSTANT-efforts & 'squirming-BAH-DEE'!
I'll AUDIBLY-sigh free-quent-LEE!
ALONG-with my SUCCESS, I'll have NUMEROUS-MISSES!
But, (SIGH) NOBODY seems-to CARE!
'NERD in a CHAIR', gimme a SMILE!
ANOTHER 'hurdle' in my 'PATH'!
'NERD-in-a-CHAIR'!
WHEN--not 'IF'--I WALK again, I'll 'do a lil JIG'!

Now, for SEVEN+ YEARS, I've been TRYIN'-to WALK!
Seven years MORE would 'KILL my PRIDE'.
Would my LEG-nerves PLEASE 'ACK-TIH-VATE'?!
C'mon, DUDE!  Gimme a SEMI-fake SMILE!

'NERD in a CHAIR', gimme a SMILE!
NEED those NERVES!
They caN'T be 'DEAD'!
'NERD-in-a-CHAIR'!
WHEN--not 'IF'--I WALK again, I'll 'do a lil JIG'!
Hey, 'Party-ON!'

My heart is 'POUNDING', legs are TWITCHING!
Doubt is 'DYING' with-IN ME!
My heart is 'POUNDING', legs are TWITCHING!
Doubt is 'DYING' with-IN ME!
My heart is 'POUNDING', legs are TWITCHING!
Doubt is 'DYING' with-IN ME!
My heart is 'POUNDING', legs are TWITCHING!
Doubt is 'DYING' with-IN ME!

'NERD in a CHAIR', gimme a SMILE!
NEED those NERVES!
They caN'T be 'DEAD'!
'NERD-in-a-CHAIR'!
WHEN--not 'IF'--I WALK again, I'll 'do a lil JIG'!
'NERD in a CHAIR', gimme a SMILE!
'NERD in a CHAIR'!
NEED those NERVES!
'NERD in a CHAIR'!
WHEN--not 'IF'--I WALK again, I'll 'do a lil JIG'!
BOO-YAH!"
______________________________________________
-- I'm KINDA-like the movie 'The Imitation Game':
1) MY-LIFE is an "ENIGMA".
... People wanna "DUPLICATE"/"REPEAT" my MANY various "MESSAGES"/FEATS.
2) MY-MIND--ESSENTIALLY--"speaks"-in OFTEN MIS-understood yet HEAVILY SOUGHT-after "CODING".
3) I am NOW ('cuz of my injurIES) KINDA socially-AWKWARD.
4) MY-PERSONALITY: "I know it's not ordinary. But who ever loved ordinary?!"
(--Joan Clarke, 'The Imitation Game')
5) ... However, UNLIKE "the FATHER of Modern-COMPUTERS"--the PROTAGONIST of 'The Imitation Game'
--Mr. Alan Turing, I am VERY-MUCH NOT a HOMO-sexual.


-- I am DETERMINED to NOT-be 
"a STAR ... COLLAPSED-in on ITSELF".
Thus, I MUST "give EVERYTHING my-ALL".


-- So, in SOME of my SPARE-time (~16 minutes), I "comprised" MY "mock-"/'FAUX-'batting line-up", IF I were Paul Molitor, ... the manager of my FAVORITE baseball team--the Minnesota Twins**:

1) CF - Byron Buxton
2) 2B - Brian Dozier
3) 1B - Joe Mauer 
4) RF - Miguel Sano 
5) DH - Byung-ho Park 
6) 3B - Trevor Plouffe 
7) LF - Eddie Rosario
8) SS - Eduardo Escobar
9) C - Kurt Suzuki 

And, the STARTING-Rotation MIGHT/would/SHOULD look like THIS:


Ervin Santana, 
Kyle Gibson,
Phil Hughes,
Trevor Milline, 
Tyler Duffey



KEY
* = "MOPERY" = "'EXPOSING-yourself' to a BLIND-person"
(--police officer, 'Revenge of the Nerds')

** = MAINLY, I WANNA-SEE just how-MUCH I can SEPERATE my ALLEGIANCE from my ANALYTICS. 



...