COUNTDOWN to 'Back to School':

... 

'One Week'
(by BareNaked Ladies)

It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side and said, "I'm angry."
Five days since you laughed at me saying,
"Get back together come back and see me."
Three days since the living room
I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
but it'll still be two days 'til I say I'm sorry

Hold it now and watch the hoodwink
As I make you stop, think
You'll think you're looking at Aquaman
I summon fish to the dish, although I like the Chalet Swiss
I like the sushi
'Cause it's never touched a frying pan
Hot like wasabi when I bust rhymes
Big like LeAnn Rimes
Because I'm all about value
Bert Kaempfert's got the mad hits
You try to match wits, you try to hold me but I bust through
Gonna make a break and take a fake
I'd like a stinking aching shake
I like vanilla, it's the finest of the flavours
Gotta see the show, 'cause then you'll know
That vertigo is gonna grow
'Cause it's so dangerous,
you'll have to sign a waiver

How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt

It's been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air
and said, "You're crazy."
Five days since you tackled me
I've still got the rug burns on both my knees
It's been three days since the afternoon
You realized it's not my fault
not a moment too soon
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
And now I sit back and wait 'til you say you're sorry

Chickity China the Chinese chicken
You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'
Watchin' X-Files with no lights on
We're dans la maison
I hope the Smoking Man's in this one
Like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic
Like Sting I'm tantric
Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy

Like Kurosawa I make mad films
Okay, I don't make films
But if I did they'd have a Samurai
Gonna get a set a' better clubs
Gonna find the kind with tiny nubs
Just so my arms aren't always flying off the back-swing
Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon
'Cause that cartoon has got the boom anime babes
That make me think the wrong thing

How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
You soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of losing my shirt

It's been one week since you looked at me
Dropped your arms to your sides
and said, "I'm sorry."
Five days since I laughed at you and said,
"You just did just what I thought you were gonna do."
Three days since the living room
We realized we're both to blame,
but what could we do?
Yesterday you just smiled at me
Cause it'll still be two days 'til we say we're sorry

It'll still be two days 'til we say we're sorry
It'll still be two days 'til we say we're sorry
Birchmount Stadium, home of the Robbie

________________________________________________

... 
(MY version/revision/edition, 

entitled 'One Class':

"I've got ONE-CLASS to get psyched-ABOUT,

Studied-HARD from my bed then said, ''I'm READY.''

Five days 'til MY 'free-day', I'm SAYIN',

'There's so-MUCH numerical-'EHK-STAH-SEE'!

Three days 'til my LEG-WORKOUT,

I'll repeatedly TRY-to WALK, ... but dare-NOT POUT.

Tomorrow, a big-NERD I'll BE.

But, it'll STILL be two YEARS, 'til I earn my deGREE.

Take a BREAK, & watch a moo-VEE,

As it HELPS me to 'SEE'.

I think I'm lookin' AT 'Iron-MAN'.

I close my EYES with deep-SIGHS, because I have a 'T.B.I.'

I really-like LEGS.

But, they're 'working' as if they're on a 'BAN'.

Strong like 'Big ARNOLD' when I lift WEIGHTS.

I YEARN-for team-MATES,

'Cuz I YEARN-for 'yoo-nih-TEE'!

Though Altan K. often SITS,

Y'all try-to match-WITS, you try-to STUMP-me, but I AM RIGHT. 

Hafta TALK & WALK with-OUT a MOCK.
... I'd like a stylish, longer-SOCK.
... I like m' legs, 'cuz I WILL 'BEAT' my 'T.B.I.'!
... Gotta see me WALK, 'cuz then you'll TALK.
I scratch my-SOCK, but please doN'T MOCK,
'Cuz I'm so SEN-SIH-TIV,
You'd BETTER know how-to FIGHT.

Can I HELP-it, if my frustration LOOKS-like I'm MAD?
Tryin'-HARD to apply-SMARTS, so I doN'T score-BAD.
I'm the kind of guy who likes-to quad-tih-FIY.
... Think m' numbers are WRONG?!
... Well, I doN'T LIE.
I have a TEN-DEN-SEE to CAL-CUE-LATE in my HEAD.
I have a history of 'rolling BOTH my EYES.

I've got ONE-CLASS to get psyched-ABOUT,
'Crunched num-bers' IN my HEAD
& said, ''Tis EE-ZEE.''
FIVE days since Karate-CLASS,
... I'm still creating MORE-TECHNIQUES.
It's been THREE days since morning-CLASS,
ALL the kids JUMPED & SPARRED,
As I sat-on my ASS.
YESTERDAY, I just 'SHOT the SHIT',
And now I'll just lie-BACK, & ENJOY one of my 'days-OFF'.

Snippety-Snapper, is THAT a LOCUST?!
You punch my shoulder, but I remain-FOCUSED.
Countin' my steps on my 'WAH-KUR',
... I'm NOT a 'TAH-KUR'.
I hope a PRETTY-girl sits near ME.
Like Steven Hawking, I'm slowly-WHEELING.
Like Vegas I'm DEALING.
Like Jordan, GUARANTEED-to SCORE!

Like Sir Newton, I have 'THEE-REEZ'!
'Kay, I've got NO 'THEE-REEZ'.
... But, if I DID, they'd be ''o'er your HEAD''.
Gonna 'grow' a BETTER-set o' NERVES.
Gonna find a CHICK with some NICE-'CURVES'.
... Just, so my MIND isN'T ALWAYS-thinking of mih-zer-EE.
Gotta make y'all TALK 'bout my-WALK,
'Cuz my RIGHT-leg is like a ROCK.  'Tis SOLID,
As if to carry ANYTHING.

Can I HELP-it, if my frustration LOOKS-like I'm MAD?
Tryin'-HARD to apply-SMARTS, so I doN'T score-BAD.
I'm the kind of guy who likes-to quad-tih-FIY.
... Think m' numbers are WRONG?!
... Well, I doN'T LIE.
I have a TEN-DEN-SEE to CAL-CUE-LATE in my HEAD.
I have a history of 'rolling BOTH my EYES.

I've got ONE-class to 'RE-gain my THOUGHTS',
Shut the LIDS on my EYES 
& said, ''I'm THINKING.''
Six days 'til I DAZZLE peers & SAY,
'I can recite PI to MORE-'spots' than YOU can DO.'
Four days 'til the week-END,
I'm searching-FOR a NEW pair o' LEGS.
... But, WHERE would they BE?!

Tomorrow, a big-NERD I'll BE.

But, it'll STILL be two YEARS, 'til I earn my deGREE.

But, it'll STILL be two YEARS, 'til I earn my deGREE.
But, it'll STILL be two YEARS, 'til I earn my deGREE.
... 'SOCIAL-RESPECT' would-be 'ECSTASY!'

...