I am "FAR-from PERFECT"!

... 
-- Late last night, a GOOD-buddy--from high school--came-over to watch the NBA-playoffs.  ... When the GAME quickly "turned-SOUR", we started watching the (EXCELLENT) movie we'd seen at my friend's "Bachelor-party"--'Mad Max: Fury Road'.  
(... FANTASTIC film!  ... But. I--VERBALLY--told my pals that I'd, since, "SEEN this movie 12 times.".  ... My friends LAUGHED.  ... I continued--VERBALLY: "Okay, OKAY.  NO exaggerations: ONLY-nine times.")
... When the MAIN-character commented that she hadN'T been HOME in "7000 days".  ............ 
... At 11:09 pm EST, I remarked, "I'd like-to watch 'SNL' in 'the square-root of 441'* minutes.  ... Seven thousand days is ABOUT 19.67 years."  ... Next "LULL in the ACTION" (So, after ~10 minutes), I ASHAMEDLY-stated, "EXCUUUSE me!  It IS about 19.178 years."   ... Thus, my housemate remarked, "It's NOT-ABOUT YOU, you MATHEMATICAL-DICK!"(--'Good Will Hunting')
TWO-to-ONE, I "LOST".
(... Was THAT "empathy"?)


-- I "SENSED" that my WEEKEND-Nurse came REALLY-EARLY this morning.
... She exclaimed: "HOW d'you know I was here?!  I THOUGHT you were ASLEEP!"
My-response: "JUST 'cuz I was ASLEEP doesN'T mean I didN'T KNOW you were here."
(--'Ninja Assassin')
((... I LIKE-to THINK/SAY that I possess A BIT of 
'mono no aware'.  (pronounced 'mAH-no NO ah-WAH-ray') --> 'pathos of things'/''sensitivity-to ephemera'/'awareness-of impermanence')


-- My housemate acquired--FOR MY CLASS-- a handheld-RECORDER for my CLASS on TUESDAY. 
(... I VERY-MUCH APPRECIATE the gesture!)


-- I AM going-OUT to my housemate's parents' house ... WITH SAID-buddy & my MOM ... for a "Mother's Day"-meal we'll make.  
... ADDITIONALLY, I wrote-up a "Mother's Day"-ODE/-THANKS/-GRACE: 
(... SUMMARY--from MEMORY:)
"To MOMS, [My housemate] & I are VERY SMART.  Even though we did-NOT learn everything FROM you two, we DID gain this intelligence BECAUSE of you. ... So, THANKS."
(... I made-SURE to type SAID-"grace" on my DynaVox, so it could be VERBALLY-RECITED.)


-- The one who falls and gets up is much stronger than the one who never fell.


-- I CONTINUED my school-HOMEWORK by watching & "taking notes"-ON the SECOND-lecture for my "Accounting"-class.  ... One-MORE lecture TOMORROW-night ...


-- "STRENGTH" ... is looking back and seeing what you have been through and knowing you were strong enough to make it through.
_______________________________________________
(SONG: "These are my CONFESSIONS!)

-- As a NON-religious person, I have NO-"BEEF" with stating my NON-blasphemic observation that "CONFESSIONAL" is KINDA-like a "COLON-CLEANSE ... for your SOUL".


-- SOMETIMES, I "TAKE a penny".  ... But, I've NEVER "LEFT a penny".


-- I have VIOLENT-thoughts, ... when people use the terms "sic-FI" & "FANTASY" ... interchangeably.


-- I NEVER "pitch-IN" for GROUP-pizza.  ... But, I ALWAYS "take the LAST-slice".**


-- I TELL people that my-FISTS are named "SLAYER" & "DOMINATOR".  ... But, they're REALLY/ACTUALLY "Ross" & "Rachel" ... APPROPRIATELY-from 'Friends'.


-- When I'm at OTHER-people's houses, ... I LOOK-through their medicine-cabinets.


-- EVERY-time I caught a fish--PRE-accident, ... I'd RELEASE it, AFTER I'd STARE it in the eyeS & say, "You OWE me."


-- I'll TELL people I'm watching, 'Making a MURDERER'.  ... But, I'll ACTUALLY be-watching, ''Making of 'Murder She Wrote''.


-- I "ROCK-out" to that Kelly Clarkson-song, ''Since You've Been GONE''!


-- If I FORGET someone's NAME, ... I just call him, "CHIEF".


-- I have a FAIR-amount of GAY-friends.  ... But, I wonder if I need more gay-ENEMIES.


-- I doN'T UNDERSTAND why it's NOT-called a "PANTS-SUIT", when a MAN wears it.  ... Are we NOT-SUPPOSED-to wear the PANTS?!


-- I have this BAD-feeling that, once when I got-DRUNK, I got a TATTOO in a place I can-NOT SEE.


-- When I'm at KARAOKE, & someone starts singin', ''DoN'T Stop BELIEVIN'', ... I STOP believing.


-- When I go to a Jazz-club, ... I just-APPLAUD at RANDOM-intervals ... to make it SEEM-like I APPRECIATED something NOBODY-ELSE got.


-- One time at a store, I used the "Employees-ONLY"-Bathroom by telling an ACTUAL-employee that I was a "Regional Manager".


-- I take "'Salad Bar'-'SNEEZE-Guard'"s as a personal-CHALLENGE.


-- Society says, "If you LOVE something, set it FREE.  ... But, I doN'T KNOW if I can TRUST the people in my SHED.


-- When I FIRST-hear someone's birthday, I--IMMEDIATELY--determine its CLOSEST holiday ... to "GUESS-timate" IF SAID-person MIGHT-ever be "CHEATED-on" GIFTS.
(... I.e. PERSONALLY, A.J. MIGHT-ONLY get fewER EGGS for Easter.)




KEY
* = Square-root of 441 --> ... 21

** = I chose hyperbolic-HUMOR over FACTUAL-consideration.


...