(My IMAGINARY AUTO-biography:) "'The Kaynatma Tales'"

…

(VERY MUCH loosely-based on Geoffrey Chaucer's CLASSIC collection of short-stories, entitled 'The Canterbury Tales' … SPECIFICALLY, ''The Knight's Tale'':)

(… THIS excerpt would LOOSELY be entitled,
'The Kaynatma Chronicles'.)
(… "Alliteration aside."--Peter LaFleur, 'Dodgeball')

(… I ALSO sampled Thomas Hardy's 'Return of the Native'.)
"Here come I, the TURKISH KNIGHT.
I come from a TURKISH land to 'FIGHT' ('Jiujitsu').
I will 'fight' this man (an ATTACKER) with courage BOLD.
If his blood is HOT, I'll make it COLD."
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The NARRATOR of MY (CURRENT/TEMPORARY) LIFE will be "Lou Sbowuls"(--old-time 'S.N.L.')
(… The HUMOROUS narrator-name is in HONOR of my LAVATORY-activity.)
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My most RECENT (now EX-)girlfriend--to ME:
"You're MAD & in-PAIN, because you're ALONE!"
(--'House')
ME: "AMEN to THAT!  I concur!"
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…
An ALTERNATIVE "name for my AUTO-biography":
"'A Cheap-Trick & a Cheesy One-Liner'".
(--Tony Stark, 'Iron Man 3')
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…
AGAIN:
"Where there is LIFE, there is HOPE."
(--Stephen Hawking)

(… Someone PLEASE--THOROUGHLY--explain the LOGIC & REASONING in/of the above statement to the MORONIC American government, … who "gave-UP" "HOPE" in/on ME!
According to THEIR HORRIBLY IGNORANT & BLATANTLY UN-justified (MIS-)calculations, I WAS & kinda STILL AM … DEAD!)
(… Audible SIGH & "ROLLING of my EYES")

(… I watched Hawking's 'The Theory of EVERYTHING' today.)
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…
Okay.  ENOUGH with the (GREAT) cinematic-references!
Let's actually discuss MY day:

-- Well, I awoke at 6:02 am (LOUD "shift"-change … NOTE to SELF: Discuss w/ staff the NECESSITY of being QUIET.  REMIND 'em of MY "SUPER-SENSITIVE hearing".
-- I played ALOTTA "Minesweeper".  (I forgot to tally my STATS.  But, I DID rather WELL.)
-- After my "SECOND-breakfast" (at ~9:45 am), I "WALKED" to brush my teeth.
-- … ~Midway through my "MORNING-trek", I "felt 'that URGE/RUMBLE in my stomach".  So, I CONTINUED my "AMBLING" 'a mi "JUAN"'.
-- (WARNING:) THANKFULLY/WONDERFULLY, I "dropped a medium-sized, quite-SOLID DEUCE".  (… YAY for NON-medicinally "stimulated" "BOWEL-movements/-activities"!)
-- After brushing my teeth & ANOTHER "SOLID" "WALK" to my MOTORIZED-wheelchair in my living room, I rested at my "desk" @ ~11:30 am to watch 'Stripes'.
-- At ~1:00 pm (He was SUPPOSED TO arrive at NOON.), my SUNDAY-"caregiver" came for FURTHER "training".  "LONG-story-SHORT"--he did a MUCH-BETTER job … THIS time around.
-- I "performed" VERY WELL in my "SPEECH-Therapy"!
((… I ate--by MOUTH--EVERY crumb of my ONE scrambled egg.  (… WELL-COOKED by the NEW guy!)  My E-NUN-CIA-TION is CONTINUING to IMPROVE!
-- I had ANOTHER … VERY PRODUCTIVE & ENCOURAGING workout at "NeuroFit 360"!
((… Today I "worked" with the OWNER on my abs & trunk-control for ~3000 seconds (~50 minutes) (~5/6 hours).))
-- … After my shower, as I laid in BED, I contemplated … & APPROVED OF an ALTERATION in my "BLOGGING-FORMAT".
(… To be INTRODUCED/USED … soon)
-- After my FIFTH "WALK"--to my toilet--of the day, I concluded, I GUESS, that MY medical-"NOT SO' know-it-all"s maybe DID understand SOMETHING, when they PRESCRIBED MANY "nutrients" that "PROMOTE" "urinary-activity".  THUS, I MUST "AMBULATE" NUMEROUS times … to "RELIEVE-myself".
-- To MAINTAIN my SANITY, I spent my EVENING & NIGHT watching SPORTS & MOVIES (APPROPRIATELY--'Iron Man 2'), EMAILING & DEVISING/DESIGNING 'Jiujitsu'-techniques.
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…
"… Is it better to 'BURN-OUT' or 'FADE-AWAY'?"
(--'High Fidelity')



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