"'BABY-steps!'" "Rome wasN'T built … in A DAY."

…
"I feel GOOD.  … I feel GREAT.  … I feel WONDERFUL.
"I feel GOOD.  … I feel GREAT.  … I feel WONDERFUL.
"I feel GOOD.  … I feel GREAT.  … I feel WONDERFUL.
(--Bob Wiley, 'What About Bob?')

… I AM Bob Wiley.
'Tis YET ANOTHER one of my ALIASES.
(… Bob Wiley IS--to those UN-familiar with/to the CLASSIC, HILARIOUS film, 'What About Bob?')

...
"There are TWO kinds of people in this wold--those who LIKE Neil Diamond & those who DON'T."
(--Bob Wiley, 'What About Bob?')
(… I LIKE Neil.  In fact, I REALLY LIKE the faux-cover band "DIAMONDS in the Rough" from the movie 'Saving Silverman'!)
(… However,
IS there 'A GOOD Kind of LONELY'?!
Also, MIGHT you have ANY ALTERNATIVE-directions, … 'cuz 'Home is a Wounded Heart'?)


...
MY Neural-psychologist asks me HOW I'm doing.
MY reply: "Well, I get DIZZY-spells, nausea, COLD-sweats, HOT-sweats, FEVER-blisters, difficulty-BREATHING, difficulty-SWALLOWING, blurred-vision, IN-voluntary-trembling, 'DEAD-hands', numb-lips, fingernail-SENSITIVITY, pelvic DIS-comfort."
…
Doc: "So, the REAL question is, 'What is the CRISIS, (A.J.)?  What IS IT you're TRULY AFRAID of?"
ME: "WHAT IF my heart stops beating?  What IF I'm looking for a bathroom, I caN'T find it & … my bladder EXPLODES?!"

…
ME: "You ever hear of ''Tourette's syndrome''?  IN-voluntarily shouting profanity?"
MY Neural-psychologist: "It's exceptionally-RARE."
ME: "SHIT-eating bitch!  Dingleberry-butt, Numb-nuts, Vulture-VOMIT, SNOT-face!"
Neural-psychologist: "Why, EXACTLY, are you doing this?"
ME: "If I FAKE it, … then I doN'T HAVE it."
…
ME: "Good bye, green-puking, dog-pissing BARF-breath!"
Neural-psychologist: "Bye, SHIT-for-brains!"
ME: "Considering your JOB is to analyze & inspect said 'BRAIN', … I am 'HURT'!"
(… SINGLE tear)
Neural-psycologist: "I'm SORRY!  I was ONLY playing-along"
ME: … "Also, APPARENTLY, you're 'as BLIND as a BAT', if you couldN'T 'SEE' that I was JOKING!"

…
So, I'm watching the U.S. WOMEN's National soccer team (… They could SO beat the U.S. MEN!), &
"It reminds me of my FAVORITE poem, which is,
'Roses are red.  Violets are BLUE.
I'm a schizophrenic …
& so am I!'"

…
ME (to my KIDS' Karate-class): "Hi, I'm ('Sensei' A.J.).  Would (ANY of) you knock me out?  PLEASE!  Just hit me in the face."

ME: (telling a JOKE … TO & ABOUT my Neural-psychologist) "The DOCTOR draws two circles & asks ME, 'What do you SEE?'  I reply, 'Sex.'  … So, the DOCTOR draws trees.  'What do you SEE?'  I say 'sex'.  The DOCTOR draws a car, owl, house.  'Sex.  Sex.  Sex.'  The DOCTOR says to ME, 'You are OBSESSED with sex!'  I reply: 'Well, YOU are the one drawing all the DIRTY pictures!'"
(… Ha ha HA!)

…
Back to my ACTUAL day:
So, I arose at my USUAL--for ME--time of ~6:00 am.  SHORTLY thereafter, I "exercised" my "participating-in" my DAILY "Morning-jaunt(S)" 'a mi banyo a' "RELEASE the URINARY-stress" of ~1/3 of "an EARTH-day" (= "eight hours") of INactivity.

After checking my emails & reading ALOTTA SPORTS-updates, I HAD TO "keep an eye on" (… maybe TWO) my "HOUSE-cleaners" … who are ALL (four) Hispanic.  (… 'Cuz they're NEW … to working/cleaning at MY house)
-- NO SKIPPING "CRAP"!
((… 'Comprendo un pequen(tilde)o espan(tilde)ol.  Oí que ella decía:'
'SSSHHH!  NO.  No, limpiadamos."))
TRANSLATION: I understand a little Spanish.  I HEARD that she said:
'SSSHHH! NO.  We doN'T clean.'

-- MUST they ALWAYS (… FOUR CONSECUTIVE visits!) OPEN my bedroom-door, when my caregiver SPECIFICALLY hold them to "KEEP it SHUT!"?
(… Their CONSTANT-vacuumong is SO LOUD that it HURTS my VERY SENSITIVE ears!)

-- UUUGGGHHH!  AAARRRGGGHHH!  (HEAVY AUDIBLE-SIGH)
My POOL-cleaner--FINALLY "dropped-by" today … after NOT coming for OVER a month.
1) LAST TIME--in APRIL--he put SUMTHIN' in the water that turned my pool GREEN.
2) He said my filter--that HE installed--is BROKEN.
3) He "caN'T return for about a MONTH".
4) He's gonna charge ME "BUKU bucks" for HIS mistakes on/with HIS product!

…
My housemate--of ME: "Looks like SOMEONE's got a BAD case of 'the MONDAYS'!"
(--'Office Space')
My IMMEDIATE (JOKING-)response: "Very CREATIVE analysis of my GRUMPY-attitude.  Why doN'T you go-BACK into that PUBLIC-pool, & PRACTICE 'FAUX'-drowning.  Call me , when you've MASTERED it."

…
"HIND-sight's 20-20":
To "keep my KARMA 'in-check'/'tilted SLIGHTLY toward the BETTER", I gave my MAIN-nurse AND one of my caregivers a small-BONUS in/on the last PAYCHECK as a "Thank you" for their HELP in accompanying me to/through my "tube-SWITCH" this past Tuesday.
(… I NEED company WITH ME … EVERY TIME I visit the hospital now!  Since,UN-fortunately, I doN'T really TALK, I OBSERVE A LOT!  … I've "noted" that … SOME medical-employees are GROSSLY-INCOMPETENT!  … Yes, as a "Bio-MEDICAL Engineer" & as a FREQUENT patient w/ SIGNIFICANT injuries, I'd say I'm DEFINITELY entitled to knowing, understanding (BETTER) & analyzing THEIR MEDICAL-JOBS.)

… "Those who caN'T DO, … JUDGE,"
(--contestant on the PHENOMENAL show, 'Lip Sync Battle')
(… Yes, the quote was ORIGINALLY-made with a NEGATIVE-undertone.  But, I meant it as:
"I RESPECT & APPRECIATE what you're doing.  But, I'm NOT an idiot.  So, why don't YOU STOP acting like one?!")

….
"BABY-steps to (twelve) o'clock."



P.S. ALL quotes are DIRECTLY or REVISED quotes from the movie, 'What About Bob?'--unless otherwise noted.


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