…
"It is NOT the STRONGEST of the species that (WHO) survives, NOR the MOST INTELLIGENT that (WHO) survives. … It is the one MOST ADAPTABLE to CHANGE."
(--Charles Darwin)
…
So, after my completing my "MORNING DAILY-Activities", I BEGAN my "SPEECH-homework" by EATING--via MOUTH--ONE scrambled egg.
… (MORE "SPEECH-Tongue Twister" HOMEWORK:
"A hundred hirsute hyenas hastily-hurried in the Himalayas to heartily-howl."
"My silly yet stupid stomach-surgeon stressed that swimming could strain my tube-site."
…
STRANGELY/"VERY 'ENIGMA'-like, even AFTER my DEVASTATING "T.B.I." DELETED so MANY of my AMAZING MEMORIES, I STILL MENTALLY-possess an INORDINATE number of movie-quotes.
ME: "Do I have an original thought in my head? … Maybe if I were happier, my hair wouldn't be falling out. Life is short. I need
to make the most of it. Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
I'm a walking cliché. (… EXCEPT, I doN'T really "WALK"
INDIVIDUALLY … YET.) I really need to go to the doctor and
have my legS checked. There's something wrong. … A bump. (…
OH! … THAT's a testicle.) If I stop putting things off, I would be
happier. All I do is sit on my ass. If my ass (weren't ALWAYS
parked in a chair) I would be happier. I should start jogging
again. Five miles a day. Really do it this time. Maybe rock
climbing. I need to turn my life around. What do I need to do? I
need to fall in love. I need to have a girlfriend. I need to read
more, improve myself. What if I learned Russian or something?
Or took up an instrument? I could speak (Turkish … AND
Japanese). I'd be the screenwriter who speaks (Japanese) and plays
the oboe. That would be cool. I should get my hair cut short. Stop
trying to fool myself and everyone else into thinking I have a full
head of hair. How pathetic is that? Just be real. Confident. Isn't
that what women are attracted to? Men don't have to be attractive.
But that's not true. Especially these days. Almost as much pressure
on men as there is on women these days. Why should I be made to
feel I have to apologize for my existence? Maybe it's my brain
chemistry. Maybe that's what's wrong with me. Bad chemistry. All
my problems and anxiety can be reduced to a chemical imbalance
or some kind of misfiring synapses. I need to get help for that.
But, I'll still be ugly though. Nothing's gonna change that."
(--'Adaptation')
ME--to my NeuralPsychoTherapist: "There are too many ideas
and things and people. Too many directions to go. I was starting
to believe the reason it matters to care passionately about
something, is that it whittles the world down to a more
manageable size."
(--'Adaptation')
…
On a BAD-note, I DID UN-intentially MIS-direct my "ANGER at an employEE" at my MOM.
In HINDSIGHT, I RECOGNIZE/REALIZE that I--EMPHATICALLY--erred.
BOO, A.J.!
(… EXPLANATION:)Yesterday, my caregiver FORGOT to SHUT my INNER-"garage-to-laundry room" door.
Today, as I was exiting my house … through the SAME-door, my mom--who was HERE for her BI-weekly workout--walked-AWAY, as I exited via SAID door. She LEFT said door AJAR.
… I got ENTIRELY TOO-UPSET over HER forgetfulness.
(… SHAME on ME!)
…
SSSHHH!
As a result of my BRILLIANT Law-team's JUDICIOUSLY- & RIGHTFULLY-WINNING my lawsuit AGAINST the DREADED car-tire company, I JUST checked my MONTHLY-"EARNINGS".
… I JUST checked my MONTHLY-earnings. I WAS going to "POST"/"SHOW my work" … a la MATH, 'cuz "THAT's just WHAT I DO." "Per MY checking FIRST with my mom (She's so WISE!), I withheld my EXACT-calculations, 'cuz … WHAT do I HAFTA prove?!
… I'm monetarily-"VERY COMFORTABLE".
… Yes, I'll SKIP the NUMERIC-values. But, I WILL describe the "STEP-by-STEP process" I used to DETERMINE said "variables":
1) I researched my financial-DEPOSITS into my "checking-account".
2) By comparing EACH of FOUR separate months, I determined the RECURRING MONTHLY "Deposits" & "Withdrawals".
3) … Provided the payments "IN" and/or "OUT" are "REGULAR"/REPEATED, I "spread the INDIVIDUAL-transactions" across a 12-MONTH interval.
… Ergo, TECHNICALLY, my "salary" is
"ONLY" … "ENOUGH".
(… By the way, I WILL "get" SAID financial-ADDITIONS, EVERY MONTH 'til I'm 75 years old.)
((… THAT's (45 YEARS x 12 MONTHS =) 540 months.))
… No, I am NOT "bragging"!
(… Besides, 'tis HARDLY a BRAG-WORTHY amount!)
I am MERELY stating my--OPTIMISTIC--"RELIEF" that,
SOMETIMES,
"GOOD things CAN happen to GOOD people."
(WHEN--not "IF"--I WALK, THAT'll symbolize the
"CONCLUSION" of this "SECTION" of MY "LIFE-film",
entitled 'THEE Turkish DELIGHT … OOZING with Flavuh'.)
ME--to my mom: "I'll tell you a secret. The last act makes a film.
Wow them in the end, and you've got a hit. You can have flaws,
problems, but wow them in the end, and you've got a hit. Find an
ending, but don't cheat, and don't you dare bring in a 'deus ex
machina'. Your characters must change, and the change must
come from them. Do that, and you'll be fine. … Am I … not a
PERFECT-example of some 'FAUX'-'deus ex machina'?!"
Pessimistic ME--INTERNALLY … before I PUNCHED myself
in the face:
"It's over. Everything's over. I did everything
wrong. I want my life back. I want it back before everything got
fucked up. I want to be a baby again. I want to be new. … I
WANT TO BE NEW."
(… ALL quotes are from the GREAT … & APPLICABLE film--
'Adaptation'.)
…
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