Monday, August 17, 2015

ME: "SSSHHH! 'Do you (ALL) KNOW what the SECRET of LIFE is?'"

… ME: "THIS."
(I hold up ONLY my extended, right index-finger.)
My housemate: "Your … FINGER?"
ME: "One THING.  Just ONE thing.  You stick to that, & the rest doesn't 'mean SHIT'."
Housemate: "But, what's the 'ONE thing'?"
ME: (Smiling) "THAT's what YOU hafta find-OUT."
(--'City Slickers')


TODAY
-- My MAIN Nurse returned from her "Vacation".  
(… WHEW!

Upon her RETURN, she said that my "peg-tube"-SITE still "looks very GOOD".
However, she also gave me the BAD-news that--after seeing a PICTURE-of my POTENTIAL "site-COVER/-WRAP" for in the POOL--it's NOT SUFFICIENT.
(  : (  )

(… "BACK to the 'ol 'DRAWING-BOARD'.")

-- UUUGGGHHH!
This (SUPPOSED) "CLEANING-company" ("The Maids") REALLY kinda-SUCKS.  They CLAIM-to 'comprender SOLAMENTE espan(tilde)ol'.  
Bull-SHIT!
''ENTONCES, porQUE' LES escucho FRECUEMENTE hablan INGLE'S … AL UNO DEL OTRO'?!
(… 'THEN, WHY do i frequently hear them speaking ENGLISH … TO EACH-OTHER'?!)
… Yes, 'MENTIROSOS, comprendo MUCHO'.  So, if you doN'T STOP YOUR "SHENANIGANS", I MIGHT just "FORGET" to PAY y'ALL.
(… For their--SUPPOSED--understanding: ''No se' CO'MO pagarte TODO.''

… 
I REALLY-appreciated this AMUSING, OPTIMISTIC quote from COMEDIAN Sheng Wang: 
"I'm a POSITIVE-person.  To ME, 'going-bald' is not about 'hair-LOSS'.  … It's about 'face-GAIN'."

No matter ALL the times I ERR, … ESPECIALLY since my accident DRASTICALLY "F--D-UP" MANY of my muscle-nerves, I just think:
"RELAX, (A.J.)!  'Screwin'-up is a part of 'LEARNING'."
(--'NUMB3RS')

… "EVERYTHING should-be made as SIMPLE as possible … but NOT 'simplER'."
"'LIFE' is like 'riding a bicycle': To keep your 'BALANCE', you MUST 'keep-MOVING'."
"I very-RARELY think in WORDS … at-ALL.  A thought comes, & I MAY TRY-to express it in WORDS AFTERWARDS."
(… I THINK/process/analyze/hypothesize & CONCLUDE "NUMERICALLY".)
(… ALL above MEMORABLE-quotes were made by the GREAT Albert Einstein.)



"EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE if one is willing to do what it 

takes and to let go of what holds you back.  

… 

When it comes to 'making a BIG-change in your life', you 

HAVE-to 'WANT-it' MORE-than you 'FEAR-it'."

(--Author UNKNOWN)






So, I recently watched an old-episode of the HILARIOUS 'Comic Relief'--starring Robin Williams, Whoopi Goldberg & Billy Crystal.  Then, I thought: 
"Ya know what was a GOOD "Billy Crystal"-movie that I haveN'T seen in a WHILE?!
… 'City Slickers'.
So, I RESEARCHED the film & ADAPTED/REVISED/EDITED some lines … to relate to ME.
ENJOY: 


ME, MYSELF & I--to my brother's RECENT party-guests:
"YES!  We're 'TRAUMATICALLY-disabled, AND we're SEMI-mute.  YET, we're PROBABLY smartER than ALL y'all.'  Let's not make an issue out of it!"
My brother's retort: "Eh, they're NOT making an ISSUE of it.  YOU're makin' an issue of it!"

My housemate--to ME: "It's nothing to be ASHAMED-of … I had the SAME-problem."
MY reply: "'What--being a MUTED, MISUNDERSTOOD GENIUS'?!  Didn't you feel stupid?  … I mean ...IN-adequate?"
Housemate: "'JUST the SECOND two.'  But, yeah, for a WHILE, but then I OVERCAME it.  Can I explain it to you again?  … I mean, … now PROMISE-me you woN'T get-UPSET."
ME: "OK, it's NOT gonna do any GOOD."
HIM: "OK, if you WANT to 'convey your MATHEMATICAL-MASTERY but AVOID seeming like a DICK, then use your DynaVox'."   


(As my housemate glances-over my RECENT-pix, identifying ME, for my brother in Turkey.)
HIM: "Well, look at it--it's got your NAME & your PICTURE on it.  It's a little GROTESQUE."
MY retort: "I'm PROUD of what I do."
HIM: "So is the PRESIDENT.  … He doesN'T wear his PICTURE on his SUIT."


HIM: "You remember when we were 'in high school P.E.-class', and we were playin' ball, and we hit the ball OVER-the-fence & OUT-of-bounds, and we YELLED, 'DO-OVER!'?"
ME: "YEAH!"
HIM: "Well, your LIFE is a 'DO-OVER'.  You've got a 'CLEAN-SLATE'."



... Dating-BACK to WHEN I watched 'The Theory of EVERYTHING'--which I watched PARTS-of VERY-LATE last night, I was REMINDED of how I view MYSELF:
('Tis REVISED/EDITED.)


"a 'mathematician' FIRST, popular 'blog'-writer SECOND, 

and, in all the ways that matter, a (DRASTICALLY UN-) 

normal human being with the same desires, drives, dreams, 

and ambitions as the next person (who's ALSO an 

ANOMALY)."



...

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