"A.D.L."

... = "Activity of Daily Living"  EACH and EVERY morning, I put on my "outfit" for the day.  Regarding my shirt, I--ALONE--do ~5/8 (62.5%) of the work.  (I, OBVIOUSLY, like numbers.)  (I "created" THAT fraction by separating the "shirt-process" into FOUR parts--RIGHT sleeve, LEFT sleeve, head-hole, back-pulldown--then dividing THOSE PARTS EACH by TWO--"location" and "completion".  Ergo, there were EIGHT steps.) ... HOWEER, for the past THREE mornings, I've--BY MYSELF--accomplished ~7/8 (87.5%) of said "shirt-task". (I STILL struggle to pull the back of my shirt down--which is DIFFICULT for ANYONE SEATED!)   BOTTOM LINE: I'm IMPROVING!

... "The student has become the master/teacher."

... --Annakin Skywalker in one of the 'Star Wars' films/'also, Karate Kid'  ... I had to VERBALLY explain the word, "onus", to my SPEECH Therapist.  So, I separated my definition into syllables: "BAD RE-SPON-SI-BIL-I-TY" (I coulda/woulda/SHOULDA just said,  "BUR-DEN of proof".

INSPIRATIONAL song-lyrics:

... "I get KNOCKED DOWN. But, I GET UP AGAIN. You're NEEEVVVER gonna keep me down!"

Holiday(s)!

FIRST OFF, I apologize for NOT recognizing the GREAT CELEBRATION of "Festivus"(--'Seinfeld') two days ago.  ("Festivus" ALWAYS occurs on December 23--Christmas eve EVE.)    I celebrated with my "Feats of Strength"(--'Seinfeld') last night by RANDOMLY going to the movie theater last night and REALLY HELPING with all my "transfers".   As part of my "Airing of Grievances", I'd like to express my unhappiness with the tire company that sold me an EXPIRED, DEFECTIVE car-tire which subsequently EXPLODED as I drove home--on a highway--and left me in a wheelchair. ENOUGH BAD/SAD THOUGHTS!  To quote Peter Pan:  "Think of the happiest THINGS! It's the same as having WINGS!"    ... OH, YEAH!   MERRY CHRISTMAS~

(THIS is TOTALLY hypothetical:)

... I've been doing fairly WELL lately with my ""slightly assisted, (MOSTLY JUST guided), walker-stabiling" "WALKING" during my Physical Therapy. However, WHAT IF I NEVER walk again?!  WHAT IF I ALWAYS HAVE TO depend on someone else to help me sit over the toilet to "go #2"?!  ... (This realization was PESSIMISTIC--which is NOT how I am. But, it's just a REALISTIC POSSIBILITY.)

It's a tough balance.

In my workouts, my trainer and I agree that I SHOULD focus MORE on muscle-TONE rather than muscle-BULK.  When exercising, more repetitions enhances muscle-TONE.   Conversely, heavier weight causes greater muscle-BULK.   I'm trying for greater TONE.  But, I'm ALSO trying to improve my ENDURANCE, because I've noticed that FATIGUE tends to set in rather quickly during my Physical Therapy.  So, with "more reps", I'm actually trying for TWO GOALS.  Long story short, my trainer INSISTS that he's noticed some improvement on my ENDURANCE AND overall STRENGTH.   YAY!

"THIS is HUGE!" Part II

... While at the gym, my Karate-instructor informed me that my weekly techniques--that I devise and review have been SO GOOD/HELPFUL that he's going to have me start RE-teaching in ~two weeks.  (I said "RE-teach". because I WAS an instructor--before my accident.) (It'd be APPROPRIATE to steal a dance from the 'Ren and Stimpy' show:   "HAPPY, happy, JOY, joy!")

This is HUGE!

... ("THAT'S what she said!"--Michael Scott, 'The Office')    ... RELAX!  I ONLY mean the subject FIGURATIVELY.      Explanation: Yesterday, I made my weekly trek to a nearby gym.  1) As I both got in AND out of the car--going TO and coming FROM the gym, I was able to--with NO,ZERO assistance--  swing my legs out of the car and onto the ground.  PREVIOUSLY, I've needed to "LIFT" my legs with my arms, and scoot my legs out of the car.  But for this ADVENTURE, I set my glasses and hand-towel on the dashboard, reached up with my RIGHT hand, grabbed the hand-grip, leaned drastically to my LEFT, concentrated on the task at hand, then "let nature take its course".   I accomplished this "FEAT" FOUR SEPARATE TIMES (going TO the gym, arriving AT the gym, LEAVING the gym, arriving AT home) that day.  So, I'm "on Cloud NINE".

Keep my body guessing.

Today I had my second of three WEEKLY "workouts". My trainer said that he's "DEFINITELY seeing a greater range of motion and strength in" (my) "left side".   YAY! So, my trainer recommended I try a new exercise on my "OFF-days": I park my wheelchair alongside/"parallel to" my parallel-bars.   My "assistant" will help me lift my LEFT arm up, so I can grab and hold a bar with my LEFT hand.    THEN, I--ALONE--drag my LEFT, INJURED hand ALONG a metal bar.   I push my LEFT arm as far forward as I can.  Then, I pull it as far BACK as I can.   THIS EXERCISE will--over time--increase my range-of-motion.   (I REALLY LIKE THIS NEW EXERCISE!)

MORE for the DOUBTERS"

... To ALL the NAYSAYERS who--INITIALLY--declared me a MEDICAL "lost cause", I mock you by quoting the KILLER in the movie, 'The Bone Collector': ""What kind of "vegetable" do you want to be? A carrot?!  ... No? How 'bout a zucchini?!"   ...  "LIFE's a game of chess. I ALWAYS win!"

Take THAT, doubters!

... (WARNING!  Do NOT read this, if you just ate:) I JUST sat over my toilet and excreted a plethora of fecal "WASTE"  ... INTO my toilet.   What makes my bowel-movement so EXCEPTIONAL was that I COULD SMELL IT!  (Granted, I couldn't tell EXACTLY "what the smell was"/"what I ate".  I could just tell that it REEKED!)   ... (The subject was my RETORT to the medical staff INITIALLY after my accident who said that I'd NEVER regain ANY of my senses and just be a "vegetable".)   PARDON ME ... for being a medical ANOMALY!  (Actually, I'm sorry I'm NOT sorry!)

INDEPENDENCE!

So, over the last few days, I've decided to "push it".  (By "it" I mean my "capability-level".)  So,  I'm laying (EXCUSE ME!  The "Grammar-Police" just corrected me and gave me a citation.  It's " ... LYING".)--LYING--in bed, and I've dropped too close to the end of my bed.  So, picture my feet practically sticking off the end of my bed.  Without any assistance, I use my little controller to RAISE the LOWER half of my bed, and make the UPPER half.  (THIS PROCESS allows GRAVITY to assist me in resolving said predicament.)  It's ALL angles!  ((Yeah, I took Trigonometry (study of angles) class my sophomore year of high school.))    Also, when I'm exiting a car, I PREFER to prepare to do my car-exit MYSELF.   First, I'll place my glasses and wipe-towel on the dashboard.  NEXT, I'll unbuckle my seatbelt with my better, stronger, UN-injured RIGHT hand.  THEN, I'll REALLY lean to my LEFT as I swing my legs/feet UP/OVER and OUT of the RIGHT side of the car.  (To my FELLOW Physics-NERDS, that would be "angular momentum".)  FINALLY, I patiently wait for my "escort" to put my wheelchair together.

INSPIRATIONAL words

"Momma always said that miracles happen everyday. A lot of people don't think so. But, they DO!" (--'Forrest Gump')   ...  "That's all I have to say about THAT."(--'Forrest Gump')

Consecutive Catastrophies

... "Alliteration aside." (ACTUALLY, it's the EXACT OPPOSITE of two straight unfortunate Physical Therapy sessions.  I just wanted to use that 'Dodgeball' quote.) I've "walked"--WITH my walker--at least SIX times (EACH TRIP included a U-turn.) in my lengthy living room.  ((I "walked" VERY WELL 12 (six times two + SIX U-turns) times across--lengthwise--my living room last time and 16 (eight times two + EIGHT U-turns) times this time.))  ... So, I demonstrated IMPROVEMENT. YAY!

"ONLY time will tell."

... Today's Physical Therapy session was VERY ENCOURAGING! I did some GREAT "walking"--WITH my walker--PAIN-FREE!   THAT gives me 'A New Hope' ('Star Wars' reference) that I'll ONE DAY walk again! Moral: YAY!

RELAX! I'm no longer GREEN.

... My Physical Therapist called off my session this morning and rescheduled for LATE this afternoon.  However, he was STILL ~34 minutes and 26.58 seconds (I approximated so much, because "People today have attention-spans that can only be measured in NANOseconds!"--'Baseketball') LATE!   Nonetheless, I was NOT happy about his truancy!  However, I used my unhappiness/disappointment as "FUEL" for my EVENTUAL Physical Therapy.  My Physical Therapist said: "THAT might have been THE BEST walking" he'd "seen" me do.   (The subject concerns "The Incredible Hulk".  He turns GREEN and BULKS UP when he gets VERY ANGRY.)  (Ladies, in my case, substitute an "N" in for the "L".) (Ergo, I'm the "Incredible HuNk".)

GREAT "Speech Therapy" session!

... I beat my "care-giver", 10-6 AND 10-1, in Connect Four, WHILE I spoon-fed MYSELF!

OVER-compensation BE DAMNED!

Almost every day, I do 20 squats along my shower-rail, before I shower.  (RELAX!  I'm CLOTHED during tis workout/activity!  T.M.I.?)  But, TODAY, "I took matters into my own hands."   I, consciously, deliberately, leaned MORE on my WEAKER, INJURED left leg during all 20 squats in an attempt to "combat" my INVOLUNTARY muscle-favoritism.   The exercise FELT helpful.  But, "only TIME will tell" if the leaning works.

"If--at first--you don't succeed, TRY, try again."

After some rather SUB-par attempts at "walking"--WITH my walker--last week, I "responded" by "sucking it up" and "walking" A LOT better today.  ALL of my "walking"-trials--six--included a U-turn.  (One "trial" even had TWO U-turns--which I had NEVER done before.    (Scorekeeper? A.J.--1 Injury--0)

"Break it down."

... ((OOPS!  Grammatically, it is frowned upon to conclude a sentence with a preposition, and I just did ("down"))   By adhering to the subject, I VERBALLY, AUDIBLY said the word, "particular". ((I said (spelled PHONETICALLY), "PAR-tick-YOU-lahr".)) So, if my audience is PATIENT, I'm getting more cogent.   YAY!

""What's the opposite of "SUCK"?""

... ""DE-suck"?  "UN-suck"?""(--''Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations'') While y'all ponder THAT QUESTION, enjoy THIS:  I've been doing SO WELL in my workouts that my personal trainer HAPPILY agreed to INCREASE my exercise-sessions from two to THREE times per week.   (Granted, THIS SCHEDULE-CHANGE will come into effect POST-Thanksgiving-week.)

"differentiation"

... No, I'm NOT using the subject-term in a mathematical sense (Although, I COULD.).   When I brush my teeth, I've noticed that I'm able to--SUBCONSCIOUSLY--separate my EXCESS saliva from my toothpaste.  THANKFULLY!  The fact that I don't even have to "THINK ABOUT"/"CONCENTRATE ON" this process is quite the relief!  I have ENOUGH "ISSUES" about which to worry!   Plus, I HAVE A BRAIN-INJURY!    ((NOW, I have to get back to "deriving some Calculus problems" ("differentiation").))

"I'm SO hungry! I want some CHOCK-O-LIT!"

... --Augustus, 'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory' Today, I ATE--by forking the food MYSELF then placing the food in MY MOUTH--some scrambled eggs.  (Also, I forked a few "bites" of eggs and fed them to my dog.) (He deserved it.) ("ALL WORK and NO PLAY make Jack a dull boy."--'The Shining') Granted, I--STILL--didn't TASTE anything, but I've GOTTA keep TRYING! Yesterday, my girlfriend helped me prepare/make/cook an omelet.  Granted, I did NOT eat any of the omelet.  ALAS, I'm just happy I remembered the little chef-NUANCES!  My girlfriend said that the omelet was "DELICIOUS", so I guess I've STILL got it.  Conclusion: Job WELL DONE!

"Baby Steps"

.... ((The subject is the title of a book written by the psychiatrist/psychologist-character, Dr. Leo Marvin (played by Richard Dreyfuss) in the movie, 'What About Bob?'.)) ... During my "transfers" IN and OUT of a car, I've noticed that I NO LONGER drag my LEFT, injured foot along the ground.  I actually LIFT my left foot UP off the ground a SHORT elevation for a SMALL distance then GENTLY set it down (NO STOMPING!) on the ground.   So, SOME--only A FEW--"messages" are ACTUALLY "surviving the trip" from my brain to my muscles.  YAY!   "So, I got THAT goin' for me, ...  which is nice."(--'Caddyshack')

?!

... During my Physical Therapy today, I NOTICED a--NOT SEARING, but still irritating and nagging--pain in my injured, surgically-repaired LEFT shoulder.  After I "walked" across my "family room" five times, I changed my stance.  Instead of leaning so heavily on my--STRONGER--RIGHT side, I stood up straighter (... which I SHOULD'VE been doing all along).   WHAT A RELIEF!  I felt "A LOT better" (Read: "painless".) during my next/last three "walks".    "Riddle me THIS"(--'Batman Forever'): How/Why does my LEFT shoulder hurt when I lean on my RIGHT FOOT, while I WALK?!

Was it the shirt?!

... I just had six EXCEPTIONAL walks--with my walker--across my "family room".  My FIRST walk of the day included--for the FIRST TIME since my accident--TWO U-turns!  My SECOND walk included ONE U-turn.  ("Start STRONG.")  My sixth--and final--walk also included a U-turn.  ("Finish STRONG.") ((I COULD HAVE walked more (My endurance is improving.  YAY!), but my LEFT, surgically-repaired shoulder started hurting (BOO!). ... (My shirt--APPROPRIATELY--reads, "GOAL MASTER".)

"Anything YOU can do, I can do BETTER"

... said my LEFT, injured leg to my right, STRONGER leg.     I--not my Physical Therapist--not my Personal Trainer--developed a new exercise to strengthen my LEFT leg.   DAILY, while lying on my back in bed, I lift my STRONGER right let off my bed and HOLD IT--motionless--in the air.    (Usually, THIS TACTIC is done/conducted while my "care-giver" changes my socks in the morning.)   My WEAKER, INJURED left leg will then DUPLICATE the feat: lifting the leg to the SAME HEIGHT with the SAME MINIMAL SHAKING.    I've been doing THIS EXERCISE for only LESS THAN A WEEK.  But, ALREADY I've noticed a strength/endurance-improvement.   ... YAY!

"TRUE DAT!"

... I attended my Karate class last week, and the--my--teacher ("Professor" is his TITLE.)had some INTERESTING WORDS: "... You've gotta LEARN how to learn."    ... You have to "create" your own positive/productive learning environment/atmosphere.

MMM-MMMMM!

... So, my girlfriend (RELAX!  She's a nursing student.  So, I AM maintaining SOME safety.) JUST fed me--via fork--into my MOUTH--a BITE of salmon w/ pesto.  (UNFORTUNATELY, I couldn't TASTE it.  But, IT'S THE PRINCIPLE!) I required THREE swallows to get it ALL down, but "Baby Steps"(--'What About Bob?').

GREAT workout!

... Yesterday my personal trainer came, and I did some mat-work. He was VERY HAPPY with what a "GREAT JOB" I did with my "triceps-dips" with BOTH ARMS--separately.   Also, I was SURPRISED at how EASILY and PAINLESSLY and HIGH I was able to lift my left--INJURED--leg--while lying on my mat, on my back. ...

Which way's the beach?

... Is it OVER HERE (I'm flexing my right bicep as I point.) or OVER THERE (I'm flexing my LEFT bicep as I point.)?   I had my FIRST session with my personal trainer yesterday.  (It was MERELY an assessment, so it was a lighter exercise-session than my workouts will be in the future.)   I did some shoulder-stresses, and I was surprised at how much/far I could maneuver my LEFT shoulder.    (more later ...)

WOW, I CAN SEE!

(THIS doesn't seem like MUCH, and it ISN'T related to my "therapy". BUT, it IS a sign of my INDEPENDENCE--which is one of my ultimate goals!)   Lying in bed just now, I sneezed.  Then, I--BY MYSELF--with NO assistance--grabbed my hand-towel next to me and blew my nose.  YAY!   I soon noticed that my glasses were dirty. So, I grabbed the CLEAN area of my hand-towel and SUCCESSFULLY wiped the smudges off of BOTH sides of BOTH lenses ... SINGLE-HANDEDLY ... practically ('cuz I've only got one "GOOD" hand)!   (Sometimes, I surprise even myself with what I can do.)

trivia

Not today, but during my last session, I--RANDOMLY--asked my Speech Therapist, "What's the STRONGEST muscle in the HUMAN body?"  (The CORRECT answer is "the tongue".)

"Let's get phy-si-cal. PHY-SI-CAL!"

... --Olivia Newton-John   1) I did TEN laps of GREAT walking--with HIGH-QUALITY form (VERY FEW back-posture corrections, LONG strides) across my LENGTHY living room.  I EVEN--UNASSISTED--set myself up for--AND WALKED--a U-turn.  Also, during one walk, I walked ALL THE WAY into my bathroom.  (THAT'S ~90-100 feet.)  2) Despite the FATGUE that inevitably "settled in" immediately after THIS "TREK", I did 20 UNASSISTED squats while holding onto my shower-rail.   3) I went to watch my Karate class.

PROGRESS

On THREE different days this past week, I have grabbed onto the hand-rail in my shower-area (It's about waist-high.) and PULLED MYSELF up to a standing-position.  (I VEHEMENTLY denied the USUAL HELP I get in standing, 'cuz I wanted to test myself.) After I SUCCESSFULLY stood, I did my "NORMAL" twenty squats.  (CALM DOWN, LADIES!  I do THIS EXERCISE fully clothed.) I did THIS after I threw 16 rubber balls of varying sizes across my living room--as an Occupational Therapy exercise.  (The routine stretches my RIGHT fingers and enhances/develops/builds my hand-eye coordination.) P.S. I USED TO only have the energy to do TEN squats per day. NOW, it's RARE if I do LESS THAN 20.

I KNEW I liked THIS MOVIE!

... (I'm pretty sure I've blogged about THIS FILM before.  Nonetheless, it's applicable.)      I ALWAYS "look forward" to my "Physical Therapy", because I REALLY WANNA walk AGAIN!  (I would do "P.T." MORE OFTEN than JUST twice a week if I could.) EVERY SESSION, my Physical Therapist asks me what I want to do.  EVERY TIME I choose to practice "walking"--alongside my walker.    Although, last Thursday my LEFT--INJURED--shoulder was hurting.  (I think that my left HAND was just awkwardly positioned on my walker, and I tried to compensate.  I TEND to DO THAT.)      I HAVE CONFIDENCE that I'll EVENTUALLY walk AGAIN.  I just don't know what MORE I can do!     "HOPE is a good thing--maybe THE BEST of things."--'Shawshank Redemption'

"Baby Steps"

...     1) The subject was a pledge name for/of a guy in my fraternity.   2) The subject is the name of a book written by Dr. Leo Marvin (fictional psychiatrist played by actor Richard Dreyfuss) in the comedic film, 'What About Bob?'.  ENOUGH TANGENTS! 3) While doing my "car-to-wheelchair ...AND back" transfers this past Thursday evening to and from my Karate class, I noticed that I was actually able to LIFT my left--"injured"--foot, instead of just DRAG it along the ground.  YAY!   4) My psychotherapist told me last week that "barring any major denials/objections/obstacles", she would like to soon begin my rights RE-gaining process.  YAY, YAY!    Moral: "Patience is a virtue."

A.D.L.

... (Activities of Daily Living):   For the LAST THREE days (NOT YET including today), I have  brushed my hair  put toothpaste on the bristles of my toothbrush (two separate times per day)   I am "WORKING" to "NORMALIZE" my everyday-life.   (WHAT'S "NORMAL"?!) (... THAT'S BORING!)

Improvement

Ever since my "G-tube" ("gastric tube") was relocated along my stomach, I have been in SEVERE PAIN any time I lie FLAT--on my back--in bed.   HOWEVER, LATELY, I have been able to tolerate being FLAT for longer lying FLAT on my back.  (Yes, my bed-rest adjusts its inclination-angle.)   Ergo, I'm thinking that my stomach-area is improving/healing.  YAY! (Either THAT, or I'm just being more BAD-ASS!)

... OH, YEAH!

... My girlfriend JUST reminded me that I was chewing on and swallowing Cheerios.   (I had requested Multi-Grain Cheerios, because the name just sounds HEALTHY.)

"THAT'S what SHE said!"

... Today, my Speech Therapist--a FEMALE--instructed me to "SPIT!"  So, I did.   In actuality, my accident made it VERY DIFFICULT for me to "expectorate" (GOOD WORD!), so THIS OCCASION (Actually, I completed the task THREE times.) ((ALSO, my girlfriend's dog jumped up and ate the (DAMNIT!  I FORGOT WHAT THE FOOD WAS!) "substance" from right between my lips.)) marked the FIRST TIME in OVER FOUR YEARS that I have been able to SUCCESSFULLY spit out a food/substance.

No side-effects!

(WARNING: THIS ENTRY is NOT for the "weak-stomached".)    So, medical instructions were for me to "consume"/"imbibe"--via "G-tube--large amounts of this white liquid.  (I forgot what it was.) The medical technician warned me that my excrement ("poop") MAY TEMPORARILY become white, as a result.   However, I JUST "pooped"--at ~6:55 PM Eastern Standard Time--and I--FIGURATIVELY, JOKINGLY--"released"--out of my rectum--my BIG "Brown-Eyed Girl".   REVIEW: My "fecal deposit" was BROWN--NOT WHITE.   Thank you.   I'll be here all week.   Be sure to tip your waitress.

All's clear.

... WHEW!   I JUST got home from an EARLY-MORNING C.T. Scan (at ~ 7:30 AM) of the "skin-growth" (like a blister) near my old "G-tube" insertion-site. THANK GOODNESS my girlfriend "knows her ass from her elbow", 'cuz the "nurses"/medical technicians there didn't know WHAT I was getting "scanned" and WHERE exactly!   Obviously, my girlfriend doesn't know the results of my C.T. Scan--YET.  But, she said the images looked promising.  (The purpose of the procedure was to identify the CAUSE of my "skin-irritation".)    Also, APPARENTLY, I'm THAT charming--which upsets my girlfriend.  The main-scanner said that should I need to return to the hospital, he would give me a Bayern Munich soccer jersey.

I know he CARES/TRIED!

... However, I would think that my G.I. ("Gastro-Intestintestinal") doctor would think something's "afoul" when I tell him--AT LEAST a week or two AFTER my G-tube relocation procedure--that the area STILL hurts when I cough or clear my throat.    I did NOT see THIS "OBSTACLE" coming in my "path to RECOVERY" ...

"KEYS"

So, I went to a Karate seminar today at my old dojo.  (EXCELLENT, IMPORTANT lessons.)  The MAIN instructor--VERY INTUITIVELY--said, "There are three aspects of martial arts:  1) how you LEARN it  2) how you TEACH it  3) how you DO/"PERFORM" it   As a "former" (PRE-accident) long-time "student"--and later TEACHER", I concur with his analysis.

... Can you BLAME ME?!

... OF COURSE I'M GONNA BE IN PAIN!   A guy INCISED a GASH in my "stomach area-epidermis".  (I THINK there are more "procedures" involved, but I'm getting sick just THINKING about it.  Excuse me, while I BARF/VOMIT/REGURGITATE/RALPH!)

(Regarding my last blog)

... UPDATE: MY NURSE (who comes to my house three times per day to "feed" me via "G-tube") JUST mixed some pain-medication in with my normal "meds".  "Low and behold" ("Knock on wood."), I am NOW in A LOT LESS pain!   MORAL: Have PATIENCE--which I've been struggling to "overcome"/"beat".  (I'm blaming my recent LACK OF patience on my brain-injury.) (SSSHHH!  Don't tell!)

OW, it HURTS!

... So, I went to the doctor today (Tuesday, July 31) and had my G-tube site relocated along my stomach.   (Yes, I was knocked unconscious via "drugs".  But, UPON "WAKING UP", I was in SCORCHING PAIN!)  I didn't cry--'cuz I'm a MAN.  (THAT was chauvinistic!  MY BAD!) The doctor offered me a "painkiller", but, since the nurse said that I would have to stay longer (I'd already been at the hospital for ~FIVE HOURS!), I declined.   NOW, I'regretting my decision.

Changing outlook

Recently, I started pondering, "WHAT IF I NEVER WALK AGAIN?!"   (I don't know WHY I thought THAT!) ... I mean, my walking--STILL with SOME help--albeit MINIMAL--in my "Physical Therapy" seems to be improving each week.  MAYBE I'm just REALLY EAGER to maneuver myself via MY LEGS again.  (I'M SHRUGGING.)  WHEN DID I BECOME A PESSIMIST?!   (I apologize.  I was "talking to myself"/"speaking aloud".)    But THEN, ALL doubts were dashed last night when I watched a GREAT film!  I heard THIS QUOTE:   "Hope is a GOOD thing--maybe the best of things."(--Andy Dufresne, 'The Shawshank Redemption')   THAT QUOTE invigorated/revitalized me into "HOPING" that I could ONCE AGAIN (When I FIRST got injured, NUMEROUS doctors said that--AT BEST--I would remain a "vegetable".) prove ANY/ALL doubters/haters incorrect.   MORAL: I WILL WALK AGAIN!

... Follow-up to my last blog:

... (This is ALSO from 'Revenge of the Nerds II'.)

... "What if, uh, C-A-T really spelled dog?"   

DID I JUST BLOW YOUR MIND?!

Isn't THIS

... from the poem/short-story, 'Jabberwocky'?  (I don't know, 'cuz I'm reciting THESE WORDS from my MEMORY.)  "... One-two, one-TWO and through and THROUGH.  The vorpal blade went snicker-SNACK.  ... went galumphing BACK." ((I couldn't remember ALL THE WORDS.  PLUS, I'm not POSITIVE that's the correct title.  (Nonetheless, I support my intuition!) So, judges?))  A.J.'s memory -- 0.75 BRAIN-INJURY -- 0.00 (In tennis I'd be up 40-love ... 'cuz I'M serving!)

For SHAME!

... So, I JUST got home from observing my Karate class.  There's this one TINY girl (~4 or 5 years old) who kept shutting her eyes as she kicked while sparring.  The teacher/Professor told her, "Jasmine, don't shut your eyes." Naturally (I WOULD THINK!), I IMMEDIATELY thought of the lyrics to "A Whole New World"--a romantic song from the Disney animated film, 'Aladdin': "DON'T you DARE close your eyes!" I GREATLY enjoyed THIS CLASS, and soon I'll be teaching class AGAIN--as I did PRE-accident.  (Thursday night Karate class could VERY WELL be a regular, continuing thing.)   Bottom line: DON'T JUDGE ME for KNOWING the 'Aladdin' songS!

Food for Thought:

... (I KNOW THIS doesn't NECESSARILY have to do with my "therapy", but THIS is just SOMETHING about which my TRAUMATICALLY-INJURED brain ponders:)   How can perpetual BIG-ness exist SIMULTANEOUSLY with perpetual SMALL-ness?   "Easy.  Take an ASYMPTOTIC line, and extend it."    (Yes, THAT ABSTRACT ISSUE is from 'Revenge of the II', but I still pondered it.)

HOLIDAY

http://mathematicianspictures.com/PI/CASUAL_PI.htm   (What's so "casual" about PI?!)   (... OH, I GET IT!  I had a "brain-fart"!   It's "casual", because 22/7 is JUST an APPROXIMATION--UNLIKE 3.1415026535987.) (... Yeah, so I've memorized the first FOURTEEN digits of pi.   SO?!)    (... PLUS, the date REVERSES the numbers.)

Thanks, Angelina (Jolie)!

... Apparently, my Botox injections--into my arms, NOT my lips--worked!  Yesterday, before stretching, my "caregiver" said to me, "WOW, your (MY) fingers are definitely moving better!" (Yes, my doctor gave me some finger/shoulder/arm-"stretching" exercises to help me get more/BETTER maneuverability.  I do THESE every hour for ~five minutes.) In conclusion, YAY!

Why, YES! I HAVE had some "work" done!

... Yesterday, I had a doctor's appointment.  While there, I received FIVE Botox injections (four in my LEFT--"bad", injured--arm and--strangely--ONE in my RIGHT--stronger, better--arm).  I received the injections in the hopes that the "drug" may RELAX my muscles into more, BETTER, pain-free movement.   So, as for results: "Only time will tell."   TANGENT: Strangely (?!), the doctor DENIED my request for some Botox in my lips.  Apparently, UNFORTUNATELY, I can't be "Angelina Jolie"-esque. BUT, I WANNA BE BEAUTIFUL!

It's difficult to explain without SEEING it.

... In my Physical Therapy, FIRST I tried this exercise/routine against a wall.  I would position my wheelchair VERY CLOSE TO AND FACING a wall. THEN, I would press my toes--through my shoes--against the wall.  NEXT, I would position my hands on my wheelchair accordingly. (My "caregiver" helps move my "STUBBORN" left pinkie.) FINALLY, I lean forward and push my body up and OUT of my wheelchair.  So, I'm STANDING--with NO ASSISTANCE--YAY--against the wall! (So, it looked like I MIGHT BE "making out" with the wall.) (... I WASN'T.) (I'm not gonna lie: I felt like I was in TIME-OUT.) (I thought: WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!"  "WHY ARE YOU--MY PHYSICAL THERAPIST-- PUNISHING ME?!")    NEXT, I "performed" THIS exercise along the outside of one side of my parallel bars.  I STILL had SUCCESS.  YAY! PLUS, I would reach back and down--with my LEFT, WEAKER, INJURED hand--and grab my left wheelchair-armrest to SLOWLY, STEADILY sit myself down in my wheelchair.  (I've been underestimating the STRENGTH and CONTROL of my LEFT hand.)   MORAL: NEVER doubt ME! Pessimism/Doubt = BLASPHEMY!

"A WHOLE NEW WORLD!"

... --'Aladdin'    So, last night I attended my Karate class.  My old Karate/"jiu-jitsu" ("jujitsu") instructor would like me to FIRST "shadow" him, THEN I may AGAIN teach.  (PRE-accident, I was a REGULAR instructor for Kids' classes.)   The class went VERY WELL!  (I EVEN--quietly and off to the side--corrected one of the TEACHER'S movements after he taught a technique.  He thanked me.)    ((I'm ALREADY devising lesson plan(S) for when I teach.))    P.S. For those of you NOT "in the know, 'jujitsu' is Japanese for 'flexible/pliable art/technique'.  (REALLY, it's essentially 'ground-fighting'.)    P.P.S. "Don't you dare close your eyes."  (THAT'S the next line in the subject's 'Aladdin' song.)    P.P.P.S. Why/How do I remember THAT?!    Brain-injury, WHAT?!

"MISS INDEPENDENT!"

... (Alternate the GENDER of the subject, because ... I'm a "MISTER".) Last night--upon my getting in bed after my trip to Karate class, I--SUCCESSFULLY--pulled down and off my shorts.  (Ladies, RELAX!  I'm "TAKEN"--MUCH to your chagrin.)   Honestly, I didn't think that I could accomplish SUCH A TASK.  But, with "some" (Read: "A LOT of".) perseverance and effort, I "made it work".   Moral: "MIND over MATTER."    Scorecard: Will power-1 Brain-injury-0

Due to some scheduling-mishap,

... I had both Physical Therapy AND Speech Therapy today (Thursday, 6/28/12).  Actually, my Speech Therapist arrived toward the end of my P.T.  So, my Speech Therapist had THE PRIVILEGE of watching me "WALK"!  (Granted, my Speech Therapist HAD TO do "her JOB", so she made me SPEAK as I "WALKED".) (I counted ALOUD EACH STEP.)    ... I "hope" (Scratch that: "KNOW") she enjoyed my "SHOW"!   (MISSED OPPORTUNITY!  She SHOULD'VE quoted 'Zoolander' by yelling, "Yep, it's a WALK-OFF.")     (Ergo, my therapy today: MULTI-tasking.)

"I'm doin' the work. I'm not a slacker. PLEASE!"

... --'What About Bob?'  Today, my Physical Therapist ASKED ME what I'd like to do during my session this morning.  Provided with my options, I selected the most difficult task--FOR ME: WALKING.  So, I walked--while leaning on my walker and stabilizing myself via my Physical Therapist's grip--SIX LENGTHS of my LARGE living room/den.     GOOD STUFF!

... My LAST blog

... is evidence of my MENTAL strength! (WHAT "brain-injury"?!  SSSHHH!)

"Oops! I Did It Again!"

... I beat "Expert"-level of Minesweeper (TWICE) yesterday afternoon.  Then, I had Speech Therapy.  So, I was in a good mood for Speech.  My Speech Therapist said that my tongue-movement has "DEFINITELY IMPROVED!"  (The judges are still debating on whether there's a DIRECT CORRELATION between Minesweeper and the flexibility of my tongue.) (... F.Y.I.: The tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body.) (Ergo, Minesweeper gives me "INNER" strength.)  P.S. Although I quoted a Britney Spears song, I SWEAR I'm HETEROsexual!

HOW APPROPRIATE!

... I JUST defeated the "Expert"-level of Minesweeper--WITHOUT "marking" any bombs--in between the ending of the film, ''One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest'' (about A BUNCH of mentally-STRANGE people) and the beginning of the film, 'Rain Man' (about one patient with SEVERE autism) (But, he's great with numbers--LIKE ME.). However, I do NOT have "behavioral problems".

Pardon my truancy.

... Last Wednesday I fed myself--WITH A SPOON--WITH NO COUGHING!  THIS might NOT seem like BIG DEAL to all y'all "NORMAL" folks.  (But, WHAT'S "NORMAL"?!  ... NOT ME!  THANK GOODNESS!)   So, I'm "recovering". ...

My "observation":

... I think that my "situation"--CONSTANTLY either SITTING in my wheelchair or LYING DOWN in my bed--"promotes" lethargy.  Now, by NO MEANS am I "lazy"!  But, UNFORTUNATELY, I've noticed that I get tired easier.   Using my mathematical mastery--"Alliteration aside"(--'Dodgeball')--the "CONSTANT" here would be my UNFORTUNATE LACK of leg-strength/activity.   (Check my math.) (...  HA HA HA!)   (... I'm laughing, 'cuz I KNOW I'm correct.)

The Dude Astride

Everyone,
I visited AJ on 5/31/12 and captured this video of him walking in his home. It's fantastic. Notice how much (really how little) support Leeann and James give AJ. These are clearly steps in the right direction.
- Grant


AJ asked me to add his own commentary:


Notice that I periodically glance up/forward--to make the "walking" more "NATURAL".  (People DON'T look down while walking.)
ALSO, I'm still trying to LIMIT my "Frankenstein-steps"--in which I somewhat LOUDLY slam my heels onto the floor.  ((SSSHHH!  I was hiding my stick.  As the saying goes: "Walk SOFTLY," (NOT ME!) "and carry a big stick."))

↵ Use original player

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Walk 4 - 5/31/12 on Vimeo.

THIS may not SEEM like a BIG DEAL.

... But--EXCUSE ME FULLY-FUNCTIONAL humans, I'm A BIT "disabled"! Yesterday, once in the morning and once in the evening, I used my LEFT--INJURED--hand to push down my left wheelchair-brake after I was pushed to my desired location.  (The "brake" prevents any wayward movement.)  BOTH TIMES I was alongside my couch.  So, the couch-cushions were in my way.  (HA HA HA!  THAT was MERELY an obstacle!) TODAY, I put on my LEFT-brake AGAIN!   So, scorekeeper: THAT'S A.J. 3, Brake 0.   "Write that down."--Michael Scott (Steve Carell), 'The Office'

VERY PRODUCTIVE "P.T."

... ("Physical Therapy")   I told my Physical Therapist that I didn't feel comfortable standing and walking, because of my SLIGHTLY painful but REALLY IRRITATING "G-tube" "blister".  In lieu of THIS, he (DAMNIT!  So much for anonymity.  Now, I've revealed HIS gender.) just STRETCHED my LEFT (BAD) shoulder and my LEFT (BAD) leg.   1) My Physical Therapist said that my (LEFT) shoulder/arm-movement "is GREAT" and "has REALLY IMPROVED". 2) THIS STRETCHING caused my "G-tube" "blister" to BURST.  So, now I sit here at my computer as my blood/puss leaks onto the gauze around my stomach. MORAL: Know your limits. (THAT ALSO has a mathematical application.) (Ywah, I'm a nerd.)

I have a "Latin" problem.

... Well, I've "got NO BEEF" with the language.   I have a RATHER LARGE "blister" (?) that has "sprang forth" in the area near my "gastric-tube" bodily-input.  So. I visited my doctor today, and he diagnosed it as a "'dermis'-infection".  ('Dermis' is Latin for "skin".) THANKFULLY, Doc said that I "have nothing to worry about".  It's NOT that I'm "WORRIED" about it.  It's that it's just VERY IRRITATING to try to not touch the area.   I'll LIVE. ... HOPEFULLY!   (Cross your fingers.)    MORAL OF THE STORY: Latin sucks.  Take Spanish.  (I did.)

"Riddle me THIS. Riddle me THAT."

...--The Riddler, 'Batman Forever' So, my Physical Therapist stretched my FINGERS on my left HAND.  THIS limb-manipulation SOMEHOW improved my WALKING--WITH my walker.  (At the end of my session my Physical Therapist said that THAT was my BEST WALKING!) Ergo, HOW could/did "relaxing" my fingers IMPROVE my walking--with my FINGERS? ... My Physical Therapist concluded--and I concurred--that stretching and relaxing my fingers will STOP my diverting my attention AWAY from my "walking" and ONTO my sweaty, sliding hands.   So NOW, I must stretch my fingers DAILY.    In conclusion,  YAY, SCIENCE/PHYSICS!

My NEW philosophy

... --regarding my recovery/rehabilitation: ""DO or DO NOT.  There is no "TRY".""--Yoda, 'Star Wars'   ... Granted, I'm not leaving myself much margin-for error.  But, I'M DETERMINED to overcome my "T.B.I." ("Traumatic Brain-Injury").

NEW exercise

This afternoon, I tried a (See subject.) that my Physical Therapist recommended.   I sat on a NORMAL chair--with NO arm-rests--for ten minutes.  After ten minutes, I was feeling fine.  So, I shifted into Gear 3/2 and continued the sitting for another five minutes.   Ergo, in summation, I sat--with my arms hanging down at my sides--for three halves of the "allotted time" (1.5 times "10 minutes" = 15 minutes = 900 seconds).   In conclusion, "I'm doing the work.  I'm NOT a slacker.  PLEASE!"--'What About Bob?'

"EIGHT Days a Week!"

... Everything's going very well with my "therapy", so there ain't much to report there.   Ergo, I'll give a BRIEF synopsis of my "therapy"-schedule:  1) The subject is FIGURATIVE and EXAGGERATED (OF COURSE!) to stress my CONSTANT--NECESSARY--"work". 2) I have Physical Therapy twice a week (Tuesday and Thursday). 3) I have Speech Therapy three times a week (Monday, Wednesday, Friday). Also, I see my psychologist EVERY Thursday afternoon.  (MORE on THAT another time ...)

Movie(s)

So, in my Physical Therapy just now, I did some "walking" SIX SEPARATE TIMES--with the help of my "hemi-walker". I struggled at first, but then I figured it out.  My Physical Therapist remarked, "WOW!  'How Stella Got Her Groove Back' (movie #1)!  "For God's sake, ---, I'm a doctor NOT A POOLMAN!"--'Ace Ventura: Pet Detective' (movie #2) After my P.T. (Physical Therapist) noticed that my left side (my BAD, INJURED side) was OBVIOUSLY struggling while my right side was doing VERY WELL, he jokingly (HAHAHA!) commented, "It's 'The Man with Two Brains'.  (movie #3) Overall, I'd say that I walked FAIRLY WELL.

... However,

... my Physical Therapy is DEFINITELY HELPING! I noticed that my left leg can DEFINITELY bear more of my weight--during transfers--than in the past.  Ergo, : )

: (

In lieu of my recent (NON) Emergency Room fiasco, I decided to cancel the rest of my "Therapy" for the week--fearing that my EXTREME ANGER/FRUSTRATION might affect my "performance". Oh, well!  Next week, I'll begin anew ...

SEVERE CRISIS SEMI-"avoided"/"minimized

So--last night, the area surrounding my "gastric-tube" would just randomly/sporadically "pumping out" A LOT of blood.  Ergo, my nurse drove me to the Emergency Room. Or, according to my treatment, I'm NOW calling it the "LACK of Emergency Room".  I waited IN the "EMERGENCY" Room--WITHOUT seeing a doctor/nurse for ALMOST FOUR HOURS (ACTUALLY,THREE HOURS AND 51 MINUTES)! A nurse told me that they were "KINDA busy".  Yet, she also told me that they had 33 beds, and THROUGHOUT MY WAIT, I STARED at an EMPTY, UNOCCUPIED BED! Survey says: The E.R. staff-members were both LAZY AND STUPID!

NOT my BEST output

I JUST completed today's "Physical Therapy". Although, my steps during my "walking" weren't PERFECT--EVERY TIME, at least I didn't fall.  Also, YET AGAIN, I had NO PAIN.  THAT'S the thing about my stepping: when I struggle, it's NOT that my left leg (my BAD, INJURED leg) hurts.  The "message" to step just ISN'T getting to my leg.  (THAT'S the nature/extent of my brain-injury: blocked impulses/"muscle-to-muscle COMMUNICATIONS".) Post Script (P.S.) ('After Writing'--for ALL those Latin-nerds): I AM a Biomedical Enginer.  Ergo, ebonically speaking ... I KNOW MY SHIT.) (Also, I AM AWARE that "ebonically" is NOT a word, but it delivers the message.)

DAMN THIS FATIGUE!

So, I walked the length of my BIG living room--along my "walker"--EIGHT TIMES this morning.  PLUS, I, PHYSICALLY, turned around TWICE! However, later, I remarked that my LEFT leg felt WEAKER than normal.  THIS was evident during my transfers in/out of my mom's car, when I couldn't even bear SOME weight on it without my left leg BUCKLING.  ( :( ) I felt like I "took a step BACK" (FIGURATIVELY), like I tried too hard. But THEN, I thought, "Lightning has just struck my brain."(--'Hook') MAYBE I was TIRED from so much "walking" this morning.  PLUS, I hadn't even TRIED the turning-procedure since my injury/accident, so I'M SURE that my UNEASINESS about THIS NEW TECHNIQUE caused my muscles to work EXTRA HARD to COMPENSATE.   (Logic AGREES with me.)

"MOMMA SAID THERE'D BE DAYS LIKE THIS!"

... (THOSE are song lyrics.)  I was tired, because I woke up early this morning, but ALAS "Rule #76: No excuses.  Play like a champion."(--'Wedding Crashers') I STILL "walked"--WITH MY "WALKER"--the length of my BIG living room ... EIGHT TIMES.  THEY weren't ALL ALWAYS PRETTY, but I had my moments.  Also, I DIDN'T fall!  (THANK GOODNESS!) (My left hand was VERY SWEATY, so I had difficulty maintaining my grip.) (NONETHELESS, I persevered.)

"NO PAIN, NO GAIN."

... Well, I'm not hurting. ON THE CONTRARY, I--personally--think, and my Physical Therapist concurs, that my left leg/knee keeps "buckling" today because I've been working' it so much/hard.   I don't have P.T. again 'til next Tuesday, so that nice little break should provide AMPLE time to "recover". OH, YEAH! I did SIX MORE walks--WITH my "hemi-walker" as a leaning support--across the length of my BIG living room.  My Physical Therapist is physically supporting me--as I walk--less, because he says that he thinks that I have been improving lately.  He feels that I can handle the EXTRA workload.   So far, so good ...

MORE P.T.

... (of MY OWN design):   I did 10 reps of 1.5 minute-stands (THAT'S 90 seconds ... for those who are NOT mathematically-inclined.) (May God have mercy on your souls!) (FAKE tears) (SOB, SOB!) while gripping the railing in my shower.  (RELAX, LADIES!  I was FULLY-CLOTHED!) I normally do ten reps of 60-second stands, but I felt GOOD, so why not "up the ante"?!

not QUITE "LUCKY SEVEN"

In my Physical Therapy just now, I--with the aid of my leaning on my "hemi-walker" AND the "holding-onto-me" assistance of my Physical Therapist--WALKED ACROSS my BIG living room (~40-60 feet) SIX TIMES!    (I've noticed that my MIDDLE STEPS are usually my best ones.) (It takes me a few steps to "develop a rhythm", and towards the end fatigue "sets in", but in-between are some QUALITY-STEPS.) (Yes, I'll "toot my own horn".)

""THE FORCE" is strong with THIS ONE.""

... --'Star Wars'   I am referring to myself in that I have the self-control to NOT yank out my "peg-tube"/"G-tube"/gastric-tube--out of which I eat--that sticks out of my intestinal/stomach-area and leads INTO my stomach.   So, I've been ignoring "the Emperor" ('Star Wars' reference), when he says, "Give IN to your ANGER!"   (I'm greatly displeased with my whole BODILY-SITUATION.)

"Beware the Ides of March."

--soothsayer, 'Julius Caesar', by Billy Shakespeare   I had my TYPICAL Thursday today: wake up, brush my teeth, do some "walking" along my parallel-bars during Physical Therapy, "watch my mouth" ("figuratively") in Speech Therapy, pedal on my ARM-bike, shower, etc.    From the words of ol' Willie, I'm "keepin' my guard up" for a DANGEROUS POTENTIAL HAZARD.   (THIS was a joke--HA HA.)  ("Knock on wood.")

It's IMPORTANT!

... HAPPY PI DAY! ("3/14" = pi = ~3.14)  ACTUALLY, pi ~3.141592654 ...   Ergo, the fear/worry would be more appropriate in three years--3/14/15.    OR EVEN 420 years ago (3/14/1592)

"THAT'S what SHE said!"

... --Michael Scott, 'The Office'   I'm not wrestling anymore--as I did throughout high school.  So, I'm not TRYING TO "cut weight", but my FEMALE (Hence, "SHE said".) nurse told me that my G-tube (Gastric-tube) ("peg-tube") (stomach-tube) is getting loose.  She said--with her medical KNOWLEDGE--that "it's probably getting looser from the all the exercises (I) do and muscle (I'm) developing". BEFORE THAT, how could I have GAINED WEIGHT by simply "consuming" liquids?! I'll answer my own question: It depends what's IN my LIQUID "formula"--in terms of my CALORIC INTAKE.  (I'm not gonna argue with her "diagnosis".) (... Besides, I have an appointment for a tube-change tomorrow morning.)

"EIGHT Days a Week!"

... (FIGURATIVELY) So, my Physical Therapist--due to scheduling conflicts--couldn't see me Thursday, Friday, OR today.  Ergo, I will have P.T. on Sunday--TYPICALLY my OFF-DAY.   THAT'S "commitment".  (NO pun intended!)

RANDOM OBSERVATION

So, while I was showering (CALM DOWN, LADIES!), I noticed that I can raise my LEFT shoulder--my injured one (with ALL THE METAL IN IT)--to ~ (approximately) a 120-degree to 135-degree angle.  THAT'S ~4/3 to 3/2 of a "RIGHT ANGLE" ("90-degree angle").   (DO THE MATH, AND CHECK ME.)

QUESTION:

... Am I slacking? PERISH THE THOUGHT! This morning I stopped my FOOT-bike ('cuz I DON'T have "Physical Therapy"--thus, "walking"--today) at 14 minutes and 59 seconds.  I was JUST shy of my designated 15 minutes.  (DON'T GIVE ME THAT "Almost doesn't count" CRAP.  I say THAT!) But, I FINALLY pushed for EVEN "STRENGTH-DISTRIBUTION"--50% LEFT leg and 50% RIGHT leg! "So, I've got THAT goin' for me, ... which is nice."--'The Big Lebowski'

Another one bites the dust.

I FOOT-biked for 15 minutes ... + two seconds.  (So, THAT'S 902 seconds.) I had 100% Activity with a strength-distribution of 53% LEFT leg 47% RIGHT leg  I set the Resistance (against me) at Level 1. (I can FEEL my LEFT leg gaining strength.)

I create MY OWN (WORKOUT) SCHEDULE!

... So, I devised WHEN and WHAT I do to PHYSICALLY exercise each day--for seven days.  Ergo, it's a DAILY schedule--FOR THE WEEK--organized mainly by WHEN I have Physical Therapy.  On those days, I give my legs a break, because I tend to do some "walking" (Really, I JUST stand, and take steps within my parallel-bars.) during my Physical Therapy.  So, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I pedal on my HAND-bike ... for 15 minutes EACH TIME.    On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, I pedal on my FOOT-bike ... for 20 minutes EACH TIME.  I gave myself the weekend (Saturday and Sunday) OFF.    Also, EACH NIGHT--INCLUDING on the weekends--before my shower, I do AT LEAST ten 90-second stands while holding my shower-rail. I printed out my exercise-schedule for my Physical Therapist's approval, and he said, "It looks GREAT!"

That little EXTRA

I "rode" my "FOOT-bike" this morning for 20.0 minutes--instead of the recommended 15 minutes.  WHAT?!  I had NO PAIN and NO FATIGUE, so I did MORE!  I had ...  100% Activity Strength/Power Distribution: 51% LEFT leg                                                49% RIGHT leg ... NIIICE!

Lance Armstrong ain't got nothin' on me!

... (Except, of course, the fact that he contracted testicular cancer) ( :( ) I "rode" the "FOOT-bike" for--JUST--15 minutes ... AND two seconds.  I had 100% activity--so, I "worked" THE ENTIRE TIME.  Strangely,

AGAIN!

This morning I pedaled on my foot-bike, while I watched television.  OVERachiever that I am, I did 30 minutes--NOT the recommended 20 minutes--of "biking".  Full Report Duration: 30.05 minutes (THAT'S 30 minutes and three seconds.)   Activity: 100%   Power Distribution: 51% LEFT leg                                 49% RIGHT leg

... JUST TO CLARIFY:

... It was NOT my girlfriend NOR my mother who took away "my rights".  It's THIS "democracy" (I use the term "LIGHTLY".)!  Am I REALLY the FIRST case/example/instance in the ALMOST 236-YEAR HISTORY OF THIS COUNTRY who has survived and persevered through such a horrible wreck?! ... Before I seem too communist/nihilist, I want to add that my mother and girlfriend ARE in the painstakingly slow, arduous process of Regaining my SUPPOSEDLY "inalienable rights".

ARE WE IN AMERICA IN 2012?!

... OR, COMMUNIST RUSSIA IN THE MID TO LATE 20TH CENTURY?! I ask, because my mother and my long-time girlfriend recently informed me that I NO LONGER have the LEGAL RIGHT to MARRY--let alone VOTE.  IS IT BECAUSE I HAVE A BRAIN-INJURY?!  I AM ALMOST ENTIRELY "PHYSICALLY"--NOT "MENTALLY"--DISABLED!  (Need I mention that--within the last two weeks--I scored in the 99th percentile--out of 100--on my Psychological Evaluation?!) Now, this God-forsaken country is BEGGING for a CHALLENGE!  I DARE someone to "BRING IT" in a bit of Random Jeopardy.  (I feel like Stephen Hawking.) (Or, is his name spelled, "SteVen"?)

The difference

... between "ordinary" and "extraordinary" is that LITTLE "EXTRA". This morning I was supposed to pedal on the foot-bike for 10 minutes, as instructed by my Physical Therapist.  But, I felt STRONG, so I "biked" for 20 minutes and six seconds.  (THAT'S 20.1 minutes.) Did I disobey my P.T.?!  On the contrary, I feel that it was a BONUS. Analysis: Time -- 20:06 minutes Distribution -- 54% LEFT LEG, 46% RIGHT LEG  Activity -- 100% (CONSTANT)

"JUST ANOTHER DAY IN PAR-A-DISE!"

... So, I JUST "FOOT-biked".  My goal was my standard--20 minutes.  But, I was feeling "TOTALLY GNARLY!"  (PLUS, I was watching ''Bill & Ted's Amazing Adventure.) So, I biked for 30 minutes and five seconds.  I "fought" fatigue to maintain 100% Activity!  My power-distribution was, again, 53% left foot and 47% right foot.

I first made sure that I was positioned at the proper distance, so my left knee wouldn't ache--AGAIN--from being too close.

"PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER!"

... --'Aladdin'  This morning, I FOOT-biked again for 20 minutes.  (Actually, FIRST I biked for three minutes and two seconds.  THEN, my chair had to be scooted back, because I was too close to the machine-base, and my proximity was hurting my left knee.) Again, I had 100% activity--for BOTH SETS.  I had a 53%-left leg, 47%-right leg DISTRIBUTION.  So, I'm "fightin'" my "tone".

"I'm doin' the work. I'm NOT a slacker. PLEASE!"

... --'What About Bob?' Yesterday morning, I foot-biked for 20 minutes and three seconds.  I had a 52%-left leg, 48%-right leg distribution.  Also, I had 100% activity, so I was pedaling the WHOLE TIME.  (The machine never took over.)

It's come to my attention,

... (I've gotta push up my glasses.) that my SHOULDER-BRACE does ALMOST more harm than good.  I KNOW it's supposed to further LIMIT the subluxation in my left shoulder, BUT if it's put on INCORRECTLY, then it's more of a NUISANCE than a NECESSITY.   I believe that I've developed enough of an anatomic understanding to know what DOES and DOESN'T work for MY body. But, hey, if those around me WOULD LIKE me to wear it, then I will.  I'm just saying' that I don't NEED an arm-sling to let me know of my physical limits.  I KNOW what I CAN and CAN'T DO!

THIS is what I do ... in my SPARE-/FREE-time:

...

THIS may not seem like a big deal to all of my FELLOW-NERDS, but my lack of "manual" ("by hand")-control prevents me from marking "bombs".  Ergo, I rely ENTIRELY on my memory AND reasoning.  (BRAIN-INJURY, WHAT?!) I ALSO saw my neuro-"therapist" for an E.E.G.--THAT'S an "ElectroEncepheloGram for those of you are NOT "BIOengineers"--"like myself".   During my ~30 minutes of just sitting alone--in my chair--in the doctor's office--WITH MY EYES CLOSED, I pondered about math.  "How many seconds are in a week?"  I asked myself.  HERE are my calculations (ALL MENTAL): 7 (days in a week) x 24 (hours in a day) x 60 (minutes in an hour) x 60 (seconds in a minute) = (7 x 24) x 60 x 60 = (168 x 60) x 60 = 10080 x 60 = 60,480 SECONDS ... THAT'S how I amuse myself! GOTTA GET BACK TO "TRYING" TO BEAT MY "TIMES" ...

""The Force" is strong with THIS ONE.""

Yesterday evening, I was doing my "exercises"--in which I hold a bar attached to the wall of my shower and do 10 sit-to-stands, EACH ONE involves my standing ALONE, UNASSISTED. So, THREE different, separate times my "tone" ("involuntary muscle spasms") set in.  But, I paused and SETTLED IT DOWN--while still standing. I DID NOT GET FRUSTRATED.  I have accepted my physical condition, and I continue with my activities.  (Like THIS instance shows.) Basically, I've ignored "the Emperor", who said, "GIVE IN to your anger!" (THAT LAST QUOTE and the subject are lines in one of the 'Star Wars' films.)

... I apologize

... to my readers for NOT "blogging" about my progress in my last report. But, THIS IS MY BLOG!  So, you're just gonna HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT! On a MORE APPROPRIATE note, my left-leg movement IS increasing/improving. My Physical Therapist recently introduced me to a "hemi-walker".  It doesn't LOOK very stable, so I was hesitant to use it--AT FIRST.  But, it abides by the old adage: "Looks can be DECEIVING."  It works well. More later ...

ANOTHER "RAPE"!

... (Notice the quotation marks.) So, I JUST "destroyed" my "caregiver" ... YET AGAIN ... in Connect Four, 13 games to 0. Ergo, I was "cooking".  (I had "a baker's dozen" wins.)