"That's all Life really is:"

… "A series of 'MOMENTS'."



((…
(SARCASTICALLY)  "JEEZ!  If there wasn't a movie made about it, it's NOT worth knowing."
(BOTH quotes --'Dogma'))


...

"Where did you get a HAND-GRENADE?"

…
(--Ron Burgundy, 'Anchorman')


D'you hear that

(Mr. Burgundy just exclaimed:
"Tuesdays are 'ARMS & BACK'."

EVERY Tuesday I have a workout with my "UPPER body"-trainer.

Am I "workin' HARD or HARDLY workin''"?
APPARENTLY, my INCREASED range-of-motion, flexibility and muscle-control  indicate that I'm IMPROVING!


...

… CORRECTION/REVISION:

… I MAY have typed the WRONG date of my "Traumatic"-accident.
I was misinformed.

It was July 6, 2008.


(07/06/08)

(… NUMBERS)


...

"Remember:"

… "'HOPE' is a GOOD thing--maybe the BEST of things."
(--'The Shawshank Redemption')

Although SOMETIMES I may STRUGGLE, it's IMPORTANT to think "BIG-PICTURE":

I've accomplished SO MUCH with my POSITIVE, OPTIMISTIC frame-of-mind.
So, KEEP GOIN'!


(My new theme-song:

"DON'T stop …
BELIEEEVIN'!
Hold on to that FEE-HEE-LIN'!
…")


...

(SIGH) I do NEITHER.

… I noticed--during my DAILY morning-WALK from my bed to my bathroom-sink (~75 feet = ~25 yards) that I do NOT follow the instructional-saying:


"Walk SOFTLY, and CARRY a big stick."


1) I step HEAVILY--subconsciously, because I'm just eager to be STABLE.
(I feel "STABILITY"/BALANCE, when I'm SEATED in my chair OR when I'm standing with my have my feet spread shoulder-length apart.
(I'm "ANCHORED".)

2) IF I CARRIED a LARGE (probably wooden) "batting-device", I would--LIKELY--NOT have the balance to PROPERLY, SUCCESSFULLY "WALK".


(… HOWEVER, I AM IMPROVING.)


(DETAILS LATER)
...

NOT "politically correct" … but FUNNY:

… My emotions would/could BEST be summed up by

Kim Fong-Il in the HILARIOUS film, 'Team America: World Police':


"I'm So Ronery
So ronery
So ronery and sadry arone 

There's no one
Just me onry
Sitting on my rittle throne 
I work rearry hard and make up great prans
But nobody ristens, no one understands
Seems like no one takes me serirousry 

And so I'm ronery
A rittle ronery
Poor rittle me 

There's nobody
I can rerate to
Feel rike a bird in a cage 
It's kinda sihry
But not rearry
Because it's fihring my body with rage 

I'm the smartest most crever most physicarry fit
But nobody else seems to rearize it
When I change the world maybe they'll notice me 
But until then I'rr just be ronery
Rittle ronery, poor rittle me

I'm so ronery."


(… Ergo, I ALWAYS appreciate guests …. to "shoot the (proverbial) SHIT".


... 

It's "Just another MANIC MONday."

… "Wish it were SUNday.
'Cuz that's my FUN-day."



…

… GREAT ADVICE!

…
One of my recent visitors--"The Creator" (of my blog)--AGAIN reminded me of my POOR neck-posture (subconsciously tilting my head to the right).
So, I DECIDED to email MYSELF a reminder.
Email-topic/subject:

"SUBCONSCIOUS habits"

It's been VERY HELPFUL!



...

Why EVERYTHING takes ME a TAD LONGER:

…

"I'm suckling from 'the feet' of modern physics."

(--'The Big Bang Theory')

… That comment is not only HILARIOUS, but it's also SOMEWHAT TRUE (METAPHORICALLY).

Before EACH and EVERY one of my activities/"significant movements", I HAVE TO visualize/"plan out" exactly WHAT I'll do and HOW I'll do it.

...

... MORE "angles":

... They're EVERYWHERE!

So, earlier today I DISPLAYED my 30 (+2) squats to my two buddies.
I noticed that for MOST of my squats, I bend my legs at (APPROXIMATELY) a 150 degree angle.
(THIS is by using my "standing STRAIGHT-BACKED at my hand-rail in my shower as my 0 degree plane.)


HOWEVER, I probably only focused on "putting MOST of my weight" on my LEFT--WEAKER--leg on ~20 of my squats.


…

I'm a "PEOPLE-person".

…
Today two of my GOOD friends visited me.
As a result, I was INSPIRED--NOT to "show off" but to display my PROGRESS!

1) I did some "WALKING"--with my walker.

2) I did PLENTY of "TALKING" (VERBALLY).

3) … I explained some football-jargon.  ("three & out", "give him CUSHION")


...

QUESTION: Would you RATHER be "Gumby" or "Stretch Armstrong"?

...
My answer: "Neither.  I'd be 'Inspector Gadget'."


LATE last night I awoke from my slumber, 'cuz I had an ANNOYING itch on my LEFT lower calf.


(Also, my LEFT mid-level back ITCHED.)

Alas, I've gotta THANK my 21+ years of "martial arts"-training (karate AND 'jiujitsu') AND my eight years of wrestling for giving me the FLEXIBILITY to "REACH ease and tranquility" (Pun intended.)

Also, it doesn't "HURT" that I have an amazing "grasp" of TRIGONOMETRY (the study of ANGLES) and PHYSICS (the study of the laws/principles of MOVEMENT).


...

Was Latin POPULAR even in 1899-NYC?!

…
I JUST watched the film, 'Newsies'.
In the movie, the newsboys sing:

"Let us SEIZE the DAY!"

(… Latin translation:
'Carpe diem.')

(… I THINK that's the CORRECT "English-Latin" conversion.
I took four years of SPANISH in high school!)

(… HOWEVER, my college-degree in "BioMEDICAL Engineering and my "SICKENING"/"CRAZY" obsession with MATHEMATICS has given me a thorough ("LAYMAN"'s) understanding of the CLASSIC language!)


...

I'm NOT a "HATER".

…
"WHY would you WANT to go to a school that's OLDER than the United States?!"
(Yale)
--'Sportscenter


(… I attended the University of Pennsylvania.)

QUESTION:

…
Is it BETTER to be more

"ACCURATE"

or more

"PRECISE"

?

BOTH descriptive-adjectives require MULTIPLE trials.
"ACCURACY" indicates that attempts are close to the DESIRED/"CORRECT" result.
"PRECISION" indicates that attempts are close to EACH OTHER.
(Sooo, if my trials are "PRECISE", then they're "CONSISTENT".)



Well, this 'pregunta' (Spanish for 'question') is VERY CIRCUMSTANTIAL.
(… OF COURSE, I ask a MATH-related question.)
(… That's just HOW MY MIND "operates".)


In my CURRENT state, I'd RATHER be more "PRECISE".
Since I always use LOGIC, then I feel that I'm PREDOMINANTLY (WITHOUT seeming ARROGANT) QUITE EFFICIENT in terms of conserving my ENERGY.

(… PART of my thinking/REASONING is that by thinking my "problems" through and ANALYZING the BEST procedure, I can LIMIT my number of "DO-OVERS".)

(… HOWEVER, my way of energy-conserving, LOGICAL thinking MAY have PARTIALLY contributed to my LACK OF endurance.)


...

These (BACKWARDS) instructions--STRANGELY--apply to ME.

…

((Since I USED TO (or "STILL DO") (??) have metal IN/ON my LEFT KNEE, it can be PAINFUL sometimes to "CRAWL", since I'd be supporting my ENTIRE body-weight--~143.00 pounds (~65.00 kilograms)--DIRECTLY with/ON my kneecaps, PAIN seems VERY LIKELY/PROBABLE to ensue.))


"I know that I will never be politically correct
And I don't give a damn about my lack of etiquette
As far as I'm concerned, the world could still be flat
And if the thrill is gone, then it's time to take it back
If the thrill is gone, then it's time to take it back

Who am I? Why am I here?
Forget the questions, someone gimme another beer
What's the meaning of life, what's the meaning of it all?
You gotta learn to dance before you learn to crawl
You gotta learn to dance before you learn to crawl

So sign up all you raw recruits,
Throw away those designer suits
You got your weapons cocked,
Your targets in your sights
There's a party raging somewhere in the world
You gotta serve your country,
Gotta service your girl
You're all enlisted in the armies of the night

And I ain't in it for the power,
And I ain't in it for my health
I ain't in it for the glory of anything at all
And I sure ain't in it for the wealth
But I'm in it till it's over and I just can't stop
If you wanna get it done,
You gotta do it yourself
And I like my music like I like my life
Everything louder than everything else,
Everything louder than everything else,
Everything louder than everything else,
Everything louder than everything else,
Everything louder than everything else,
Everything louder than everything else,

Wasted youth! Wasted youth!
Wasted youth! Wasted youth!

They got a file on me and it's a mile long
And they say that they got all of the proof
That I'm just another case of arrested development
And just another wasted youth

They say that I'm in need of some radical discipline
They say I gotta face the truth
That I'm just another case of arrested development
And just another wasted youth

They say I'm wild and I'm reckless,
(wild, wild, wild)
I should be acting my age
I'm an impressionable child in a tumultuous world
And they say I'm at a difficult stage

But it seems to me to the contrary
Of all the crap they're going to put on the page
That a wasted youth is better by far
Than a wise and productive old age
A wasted youth is better by far
Than a wise and productive old age
A wasted youth is better by far
Than a wise and productive old age
A wasted youth is better by far
Than a wise and productive old age
A wasted youth is better by far
Than a wise and productive old age
A wasted youth is better by far
Than a wise and productive old age

If you want my views of history
Then there's something you should know
The three men I admire most
Are Curly, Larry and Mo!
If you don't worry 'bout the future,
Sooner or later it's the past
And if they say the thrill is gone,
Then it's time to take it back
If the thrill is gone,
Then it's time to take it back

So sign up all you raw recruits,
Throw away all those two-bit suits
You got your weapons cocked,
Your targets in your sights
There's a party raging somewhere in the world
You gotta serve your country,
Gotta service your girl
You're all inducted in the armies of the night

And I ain't in it for the power,
And I ain't in it for my health
I ain't in it for the glory of anything at all
And I sure ain't in it for the wealth
But I'm in it till it's over and I just can't stop
If you wanna get it done,
You gotta fight for yourself
And I like my music like I like my life

Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else
Everything louder than everything else"



--Meat Loaf


(I JUST watched the HILARIOUS movie, ''That's My Boy'', and THIS song is in the background toward the end.)



...

"'SCIENCE' is NOT about HUMAN RELATIONS."

… "It's about RESULTS."
(--'House')
(… Two doctors were arguing about the TACTICS/METHODS/PROCEDURE of a "DOUBLE-BLIND"-study.)


As a "MEDICAL/THEORETICAL-anomaly", I can only WISH that my INITIAL POST-accident doctors WOULD'VE taken this conclusion MORE into account.


NEVER did I display ANY indications of "SEVERE MENTAL-DEFICIENCIES".
(… Yes, I have MEMORY-problems.  But, I would NOT be surprised, if THOSE SAME DOCTORS regarded/classified EVERYONE OVER ~80  YEARS of age as "RETARDED".
(… THAT's what they called ME!)




...

"So, you're tellin' me there's a CHANCE!"

… --'Dumb & Dumber'


…
"EVERYONE possesses the 'strength' to change (his/her) OWN FATE."
(--'Mortal Kombat: Annihilation')


Even though I STRUGGLE to WALK--CURRENTLY, I've working to IMPROVE/INCREASE my PATIENCE.
Alas, I MUST ALWAYS remember:


"GOOD things come to those (ME) who WAIT."


...

I SHAN'T LIE!

…

I'm not ALWAYS in a GREAT mood.

Granted I AM--for the MOST PART--a JOVIAL, OPTIMISTIC … (I'm locating my EXTERNAL genitalia.  Ah, yes.  There's the CONFIRMATION!) … MAN. 

I just tend to get VERY FRUSTRATED, 'cuz MANY of my "staff"--even, sometimes a FAMILY-member--will MISTAKE my frustration for ANGER.

(… This MIS-understanding may LIKELY be due to my TENDENCY to EXHALE DEEPLY with AUDIBLE "HUFFING and PUFFING".)

(… I've GOTTA better CONTROL that!)

UH-OH!  I may or may NOT be drifting toward "The DARK Side" in 'StarWars'.

"The Emperor" keeps "HISSING" at me:

"GIVE IN to your ANGER!"

I'm TRYING TO RESIST!

ALAS, Master Yoda says:

"DO or do NOT.  There is no 'TRY'."

...

"Why change a GOOD thing?!"

…
"If it AIN'T BROKE, DON'T fix it."


Even BEFORE my HORRIFIC, "TRAUMATIC" car-accident, NUMBERS "governed" (METAPHORICALLY) my life.

NOW, it's APPROXIMATELY 6.48 FULL YEARS LATER.  When I maneuver in/about my rather ROOMY abode, I STILL regulate myself.

My MOTORIZED-wheelchair has a SPEED-regulator.
When I'm turning or backing-up, I generally travel at "Speed-ONE".
(The "SPEEDS" range from "ONE" to "FIVE".)
When I'm in a room, I go "Speed TWO".
When I'm moving through my "CAVERNOUS" family room, I USUALLY "move through" at "SPEED THREE".
HOWEVER, if I am feeling particularly "BADASS", I MAY "CRANK UP" the/my "SPEED" to "FOUR" … or even "FIVE".


IF I were to CRASH into something, let's HOPE I can--YET AGAIN--talk my way out of a ticket from authorities.
(Cross your fingers.)


(… Oh, wait.  I'M the "AUTHORITY" in MY HOUSE!)
(… WHEW!)



...

"I don't KNOW the future."

…
"I'm NOT here to tell you how your life will END.
I am here to tell you how it will BEGIN."
(--Neo--The ONE, 'The Matrix')



… ACTUALLY, I am DETERMINED to make "MY WALKING"--PART--of my future.

Ergo, if/should--WHEN--I WALK, I would accept the alias of

"Punxsutawney Phil--the SEE-er of see-ers, the PROGNOSTICATOR of prognosticators".
(--'Groundhog Day')



P.S. Do I relate my ISSUES/PROBLEMS/SITUATION/LIFE TOO MUCH with/to movies?


...

(I'm tapping my foot.) ANY TIME NOW.

…

"Well, as Nietzsche said,
'From DIS-order comes order.'"
(--'Blazing Saddles')


Well, I've had PLENTY of DIS-array over the last ~6.416… years.
So, I am IM-patiently waiting for "OGIC"/"DEGREE"/"REGULARITY" (… Ha ha HA!  THAT was a Poop-Pun!) (… "Alliteration aside."--'Dodgeball') to "settle in".



...

"Do you believe in 'FATE'?

…
"No.
… 'Cuz I don't like the idea that I'm NOT in control of MY OWN life."
(--'The Matrix--which I'm watching right … NOW.)


… SO OFTEN in the last SIX+ YEARS, I've felt as if OTHER PEOPLE were making decisions regarding MY LIFE.  Only AFTER said choices were decided, was I informed.

Now, that's some hardcore-B.S.!


…
"What IS 'REAL'?
How do we define 'REAL'?"
(Morpheus, 'The Matrix')


I'm GETTIN' THERE.
("GOOD work takes TIME.")



...

INSPIRATION!

…
I JUST watched ''A Knight's Tale''.

The film "voices" my LIFE-motto:

"I WILL 'change the stars'" … in regards to my MOBILITY/WALKING.

"Do NOT judge, lest YE be judged."

… Now, I am NOT a theologic man,
DESPITE my graduating 'summa cum laude' ('with HIGHEST honor'--for those who do NOT  understand Latin) (… SSSHHH!  I took FOUR YEARS of Spanish.  I just know A LOT … of RANDOM "CRAP"!) from a PRESTIGIOUS Catholic high school.
(… TRANSLATION: I was VALEDICTORIAN.)

… So, that whole Latin "TANGENT" (I HAD TO sneak in a MATHEMATICAL term!) was just a way to STALL, while I researched that quote.


AH, yes.  HERE it is!

It's in Matthew 7:1 of the Holy Bible.
(… "'HOLEY Bartender', I get it.  That's GENIUS!"--Jay, 'Dogma')


… So, I ABHOR when people

-- see my wheelchair
-- see my NOT speaking and INSTEAD pointing to letters on my "letter-board"
-- hear "T.B.I." (Traumatic Brain-Injury") and shutter/CRINGE

and just "ASS-ume" that I'm "RETARDED"!
(I APOLOGIZE for the "politically IN-correct" term, but I'm JUST QUOTING some of the IGNORANCE I've actually HEARD … about ME!)


… I have some "CHOICE-WORDS" for/about you DOLTS, but I'm gonna "hold my tongue".




CONCLUSION:
I'm an ANOMALY!
I KNOW I'm SMARTER than MOST people.
"I just 'SEE IT'."
(--'Good Will Hunting')

(… That MAY SEEM condescending!  But, I'm just "VENTING".)


...

"You see 'US' as you want to see 'US':"

…
"a BRAIN,
an ATHLETE,
a PRINCESS,
a BASKET-CASE,
and a CRIMINAL."
(--'The Breakfast Club')


UNFORTUNATELY/FORTUNATELY, EACH of THESE TERMS would apply to ME.


("BRAIN" = I was valedictorian.
"ATHLETE" = I have trained in martial arts for 21+ years.
"PRINCESS" = I like to be PRETTY.
"BASKET-CASE" = I have a "Traumatic Brain-Injury".
"CRIMINAL" = I talked my way out of a ticket for CAUSING a fender-bender.)





P.S. I "WRESTLED" for EIGHT YEARS, and one of the students in detention in the film (Emilio Estevez was a "WRESTLER".

P.P.S. …
"The EDITORIAL ('us').  The EDITORIAL …"
(--'The Big Lebowski')


...

DAMN my "FAULTY" memory!

…
I get very frustrated when I have a GREAT WORKOUT--at my gym ("NeuroFit 360")--but FORGET the details of my exercise-routine to describe it to y'all!


(… NOT today!)

I worked on my BALANCE, COORDINATION and TRUNK-CONTROL by sitting on a LARGE rubber ball in front of a mirror, while my trainers did assorted things to OFF-BALANCE me.

(… SUCCESS!)



...

"START strong. FINISH strong."

…
THIS is my motto during EACH of my FOUR WEEKLY workouts.

(.. My "exercise-slogan" MAY/PROBABLY caused my NOTICEABLE IMPROVEMENT in my ENDURANCE.)

((… ALSO, my LONGTIME involvement with my Karate-dojo (… Heck, ALL my athletic-participation contributed.)

We ("The ROYAL 'we'--the EDITORIAL …"--'The Big Lebowski') MUST KNOW how to PROPERLY, EFFICIENTLY breathe!

(… AGAIN, THANK YOU, martial arts!)


...

Mt "Traumatic Brain-Injury" has SIGNIFICANTLY decreased/DIMINISHED my PATIENCE.

…
(  : (  )

You would THINK that I'd get VERY FRUSTRATED … with MYSELF, 'cuz I have 0 out of 2 "GOOD" legs and ~1.6 "GOOD" hands.
(My RIGHT pinkie and ring finger are VIRTUALLY useless thanks to a PRE-accident "BOTCHED" surgery.)

But, I've come to tolerate, understand and ACCEPT my SLOWED timing.
I EVEN "factor in" (I've GOTTA have some mathematical "JARGON" in MY post!) EXTRA time, when I'm PLANNING my DAILY schedule of ACTIVITIES.
(I add 10 to 15 minutes to EVERYTHING.)
(… That'd be
600 to 900 seconds OR
1/6 to 1/4 of an hour OR
~0.1667 to 0.25 of an hour.)

… My LACK OF patience applies more with--UNFORTUNATELY--my peers.
I've learned to "HARNESS/LIMIT my FRUSTRATION" with "new"/UN-knowing people.  (YAY!) But, when it comes to FAMILIAR people--who SHOULD KNOW of "my SITUATION"/DISABILITIES, then I get REALLY UPSET/ANGRY.
(I WANNA--SARCASTICALLY--SCREAM:
"Uuummm, did you FORGET that I'm in a wheelchair AND struggle to speak COGENTLY, Captain OBVIOUS?!"


...

… (SIGH) 5:34 am EST

… /
It's entirely TOO early!

That (STPID, ANNOYING, AGGRAVATING) dog is REALLY (NEGATIVELY) affecting MY "rehabilitation"!
THUS--THEREFOR--HENCE--ERGO--CONSEQUENTLY, that DAMN dog is DETRIMENTAL to MY HEALTH!

I wonder WHY I'm CONSTANTLY so TIRED.
HHHMMM …

(THAT was "DRIPPING with SARCASM"!)


...

"WARRIOR-Spirit"

… --one of MY shirts from my Karate-dojo

…
"WHAT we do in life echoes in eternity."
(--'Gladiator')

(… "The ROYAL 'we'--the EDITORIAL."
--'The Big Lebowski')


Now, I'm NOT TECHNICALLY a "GLADIATOR".
However, I feel that as I continue my LONG, PERILOUS, ARDUOUS journey toward a COMPLETE "recovery", I'm feeling MORE and MORE like a METAPHORICAL "GLADIATOR"/"WARRIOR".


...

… "AAAHHH, the timing!" Part II

…
My FAITH/BELIEF/RESPECT for "ye WHITE-COATED medical-'professionals'" is SLOWLY being RE-stored.

Yesterday I saw my "primary-care physician" for a "checkup".
He noted … to me:
"WOW!  What a GREAT improvement you've made in six months!"


(Not to BRAG, but I

-- lifted up AND took down the footrests on my wheelchair, using ONLY the "CALCULATED maneuverability" of my FEET.  (I WANTED TO yell:
"Look, Ma.  NO HANDS!"
(--Sir Elton John)

-- CONSTANTLY adjusted my head-/neck-placement to NOT lean/tilt to my right.
(… I've become SLIGHTLY more SELF-aware.  Although I still can NOT feel it, I just KNOW when I'm NOT straight.)
(… "No homo.")

-- leaned forward and down--in my wheelchair--to demonstrate my "trunk-control".



MY Conclusion

… AGAIN, "It's ALL angles."


...

"AAAHHH, the timing!"

… (an inside-joke between my ex-girlfriend and me)

… For the THIRD CONSECUTIVE DAY/MORNING, my mom's (EXASPERATING) dog has awoken me … ALWAYS at 6:08 am.
I NEED my "BEAUTY-sleep"!
I WANNA--LOUDLY--inquire:
"WHO DISTURBS MY SLUMBER?!(--'Aladdin')

(… But, I already KNOW the answer to THAT.
The CONSTANT, LOUD, NON-threatening, just ANNOYING barking is KIND OF a "DEAD-GIVEAWAY".)

MY CONCLUSION:
The EARLY wake-ups contribute to the reason WHY I feel SO FATIGUED by ~5:00 pm.
(… ALSO, the fact that I'm CONSTANTLY SITTING--in my wheelchair--FURTHER "adds in" to my "lethargy".)


This LACK OF effort and energy is in STARK CONTRAST to my TRUE-SELF … PRE-accident.

I WAS … "the LIFE OF THE PARTY"!

(… Even in my wrestling-matches in high school and college, I didn't ALWAYS WIN.
But, I PRIDED MYSELF on NOT getting tired, "rolling over" and "getting 'STUCK'/'PINNED'".)


...

Even when I'm NOT teaching class, I still LEARN IMPORTANT stuff (at Karate class)!

… Tonight, my Karate-professor lectured:

"You EXHALE when your muscles CONTRACT.
The contraction works STRONGER, QUICKER, BETTER, when you make an AUDIBLE sound."

(… That's GOOD to know, "Prof"!)


...

… Graphing my STEADY (PHYSICAL) IMPROVEMENT (at "NeuroFit 360"):

…

I thought it was IMPORTANT to put my PHYSICAL-PROGRESS in a "form"/"lexicon" I BETTER understand (MATHEMATICAL-GRAPHING):


Since I can NOT draw an ELECTRONIC/COMPUTER-GRAPHIC picture (… Watch, "the Creator"--of my blog--will explain how I COULD.), just VISUALIZE the graph.


ENDURANCE
(minutes on "I-Care" before a break)

(On WEEKLY intervals:)
3, 4, 7. 8, 10, 11, 12, 15, 17
(slope = rise/run)
(slope = m = 17 - 3 = 14 / 9 trials/dates)

(m = 14/9)



SPEED
(revolutions of leg-device per minute)

(On a WEEKLY basis:)
10, 12, 15, 17, 20, 22, 24, 26, 27
(slope = m = 27 - 10 = 17 / 9 recordings

(m = 17/9)



… Ergo, my ENDURANCE is IMPROVING at a rate of just OVER 1.5 TIMES per week.
(m =~1.56)
My SPEED is IMPROVING at a rate of ALMOST TWO TIMES per week.  (m = ~1.89)

(… Yeah, I "ACED" A.P. Statistics in 12th grade … as an ELECTIVE.)


("I just 'SEE' it."--'Good Will Hunting')


(… NERD!)


...

"Give it your BEST shot."

…
Despite my CONSTANT "obstacles", I ALWAYS "give it my ALL"--NO MATTER the task/"obstacle".

(I think that THAT "type of thinking"/outlook is ESSENTIAL regardless of the "conditions".)

(… "The glass is half-FULL.")


...

((WARNING) No more "HIDING behind your PRECIOUS '"white coat".

… Yesterday I "evacuated my bowels"

THREE SEPARATE TIMES.

(I've never done that.)
(… My GI-doctor said that if I do NOT "go" ("#2) "EVERY DAY", then I'm "probably sick".


Well,

1) I COMPLETELY DIS-agree with your HALF-ASS medical-"OPINION"!

2) I PRIDE MYSELF on NOT being "REGULAR".
(Poop-pun)
(JEEZ, I'm funny!)
So, thanks for introducing me to THAT!
(… That was SARCASTIC.)
(In mathematics "THREE negatives STILL equal a negative".
So, even in MY lexicon, I FAIL to see his LOGIC.)

3)  … "The GOD-DAMN PLANE has CRASHED into the MOUNTAIN!"
(--"The OTHER Jeffrey Lebowski.  The million-AIRE.". 'The Big Lebowski')

4) In the words of President Warren Harding, this was HARDLY "a return to NORMALCY".



(The above facts have to do with MY HEALTH.
Ergo, they are RELEVANT.--hence the "WARNING".)



...

"Can YOU understand the words that are comn' outta my MOUF?!"

… --'Rush Hour'

Recently, I used the BRILLIANT advice of my Speech Therapist to VERBALLY tell my "Neural-psychologist" that

"I'm spea-king more EH-LOH-quent-lee (eloquently)."

Her advice/tips:
-- Take a DEEP breath.
-- Separate words into SYL-LAH-BUHLS (syllables).
-- ENUNCIATE.


...

… He's TALKIN' to ME!

…
"Morpheus" is saying TO ME:

"I can only SHOW you 'the door'.
You have to 'WALK THROUGH IT'."
(--'The Matrix')


(… I'm interpreting that quote as both LITERAL and METAPHORICAL.

(…
I am "The ONE".)



...

"Easier SAID than DONE."

…
I've GOTTA "FREE my mind!"
(--'The Matrix')


(… "Traumatically Injured" as it is, I feel like I'm a TRAPPED ANIMAL--'cuz I struggle to CONSISTENTLY COGENTLY/CLEARLY speak.
But, I'm making GREAT PROGRESS in my Speech Therapy!

Oh, I shall SYMPHONICALLY call out:
"Ah!  How the caged bird SINGS!"

(… ALL in due time)


...

"Since (I) like SCIENCE,"

….
"Maybe (I) could develop a cure for being a DORK."
('The Big Bang Theory')


Ah, yes--'Dorkis Maximus'.
It's a very COMMON "infection".
(I--myself--have been "SUFFERING" from the "AFFLICTION" since grade-school.

…
My rih-search seems to be to NO AVAIL.
:(


...

THANX, "NeuroFit 360" (my gym)!

…
During the course of the past few weeks, I've

-- SIGNIFICANTLY IMPROVED my trunk-ROTATION and -CONTROL

-- IMPROVED my NECK- and BACK-POSTURE

-- developed a STEADY, STABLE and COMFORTABLE STRIDE/GAIT.


…

"You're so WISE. You're like a miniature Buddha covered with hair,"

…
(--'Anchorman')


…
"Drop all your PRE-conceived and fixed ideas."
(--Bruce Lee)


I only wish that MOST people be SO ignorant/UN-knowing!

EVERY TIME I notice that people start speaking to me very SLOWLY and LOUDLY, I wanna quote  Andy Dufresne from 'The Shawshank Redemption':

"How can you be so OBTUSE?!
Is it deliberate?"


...

ALWAYS sitting (in my wheelchair) promotes LETHARGY.

…
However,
"I'm TIRED.  I'm NOT DEAD!"
(--'Stigmata')



This is YET ANOTHER example of how SOME movies can/will "just tell it like it is" … and NOT lie.
(This "code of conduct" remains in STARK CONTRAST to the acts/beliefs of my previous DOCTORS.


...

SSSHHH! I could be Kurt Russell.

… Mr. Russell starred in the 2004-film,

'MIRACLE'.

...

"I CAN'T be hiding under the bed."

… "Only a WIMP would do that."
(--'Home Alone')

1) I am NOT a "wimp".
((Actually, I have BIG (METAPHORICAL) "BALLZ"--meaning: I'm VERY "BRAVE".))

2) My G-tube, my 206 bones and the fact that I'm NOT "Mr. Fantastic"/'Reed Richards"/"Rubber-Man"(--'The Fantastic Four')PREVENT/DIS-allow me from committing such a :bone-CRUNCHING" act of FEAR.

3) ONLY my mom's (ANNOYING) canine-companion "SNEAKS" under MY bed.
(It's HARDLY "sneaking", when the dog CONSTANTLY, LOUDLY, RANDOMLY barks.)


...

… MORE 'Titans'-quotes:

… My staff/employees OCCASIONALLY upset me.
So, I guess they could quote the film as a RETORT, whenever I criticize 'em:

"ATTITUDE reflects LEADERSHIP, Captain."


…
Well, "I'm not saying I'm PERFECT, 'cuz I'm NOT.  NONE OF US ARE!  …"


But, I can't/WON'T fault 'em, if they, at least, TRY.

(… I just want to SEE an EFFORT!)


...

To ALL my HATERS/DOUBTERS:

…
"I'm HURT.  I ain't DEAD."
(--'Remember the Titans')


… Those "HATERS" INCLUDE my doctors who said--and I'll QUOTE:
"He (A.J.--I) will spend the rest of his (MY) SHORT life as a 'VEGETABLE'."


Ergo--Hence--Thus, in lieu of my ASTOUNDING, CONTINUING RECOVERY, I say to those now INFAMOUS "DOUBTERS":

"Pardon my French.  But, 'EAT MY ASS!'"


...

MY "motor-vehicle"-ACTIVITY:

…
Y'all: "Can you DRIVE?!"
Me: "I KNOW HOW TO drive.
I choose NOT TO."
(--'The Big Bang Theory')


… It was a WISE MOVE of the government to NOT allow ME to drive an automobile.
Although I HAD my driver's license PRIOR TO my accident, I--RANDOMLY--STRUGGLE with my leg/foot-strength.
Also, my astigmatism is--only SLIGHTLY--WORSE.


...

HOW INSIGHTFUL!

…
(I'm TERRIFIED!)



"What TRADITIONALLY categorizes a person as 'DECENT' is …

FEAR."
(--'Dogma')

Am I … a MAN?!

… No, I am NOT questioning my GENDER!

…
"'Mankind' FEAR what they DON'T understand."
(--'X-Men')

I don't mean to BRAG (Actually, I DO.), but since I'm a TAD BIT of "an ANOMALY"(--my doctors), NO ONE understands me.
ULTIMATELY'CONSEQUENTLY
My LOGIC and REASONING are (metaphorical) "LIGHT-YEARS"  (CONTRARY to what the NAME indicates, they are units of DISTANCE.) "AHEAD of its time".

I have a MUCH LOWER degree of MENTAL-strength of a Dr. Jean Grey, the LACK OF leg-strength of Professor Charles Xavier, the fast-healing ability of Logan/"Wolverine" (NOT fast ENOUGH), , the "four-eyed" (He--TOO--wears glasses.) CONCENTRATION of "Scott Summers"/Cyclops, etc.



So, in CONCLUSION:

As of RIGHT NOW, I'm a HALFIE.


...

Application of the (MY) GREAT work at "NeuroFit 360" (my gym):

…
This evening I went to my dojo.  I viewed some of the Adults' martial arts class.
(I was NOT teaching, JUST OBSERVING.)

After ~60 minutes of OBSERVING some QUALITY techniques, I felt INSPIRED.
As I was leaving, I chose to DISPLAY just HOW I'm IMPROVING!

I slid my butt forward in my wheelchair.
I pulled my legs back, so my hamstrings were TOUCHING my chair.
I leaned my UPPER-body FORWARD and DOWN.

FINALLY, I STOOD MYSELF UP--ALONE, WITHOUT assistance--for ~FOUR SECONDS!
(GRANTED, my legs were touching my wheelchair for support, but they were BARELY TOUCHING it!)
((… I'd say that I did AT LEAST 24.65% TIMES my # of limbs (4 x 24.65 = 98.6%) of the work.))

(… WHAT?!  I like to "SHOW OFF" my PROGRESS!)

YAY!


...

My weight (as of 12/3/13):

…
= 141.6 POUNDS
= ~65.76 KILOGRAMS



I REALLY don't know HOW TO interpret my "body's gravitational 'push' down upon Earth's surface".


Y'all: "Big surprise.
The ONLY thing you KNOW how to do is ASK ME how to do stuff!"
(--'Tommy Boy')

I have "the MIND of a (wrestler).  …
I keep it in a jar on my desk."
(--Stephen King)

My senior year of HIGH SCHOOL, I wrestled at 135 pounds.  So, I WAS rather muscular.
HOWEVER, muscle weighs 2.2 times MORE than fat.

(…
"It's SCIENCE!"--'Anchorman')


...

"You know what hurts the MOST?!"

… "The lack of RESPECT.
Well, that hurts 'the most'.  But, you know what hurts the SECOND-most?
It's the lack of respect."
(--'Dirty Work')


… At my workout--at my FANTASTIC gym, "NeuroFit"--on Monday, my trainer put ALOTTA duct-tape on my lower left thigh to (SOMEHOW) test my stride/nerve-connection.
Unbeknownst to him, he FORGOT to REMOVE the duct-tape from my (HAIRY) leg.
So, I had to "SACK IT UP"(--sang for MALES), "grind my teeth" and RIP OFF said tape that evening in the shower.


But, the actual workout was GREAT--as usual!


...

"AESTHETICALLY PLEASING"-cereal (WORDPLAY)

…
At the PINNACLE of my WRESTLING-career (PRE-accident, PRE-discovery of the wonders of REPEATEDLY imbibing alcohol in SOCIAL-situations, so SENIOR year of high school), I was

"apple-'JACKED'"!
(--'Tosh.O')


...

I just CAN''T seem to "BRUSH THIS DIRT OFF MY SHOULDER"!

…
STRANGELY, I DEVELOPED this SERIOUS "eye-shaking condition" (USUALLY, people are BORN with "nystagmus".  But, I'm FAR from "NORMAL"--METAPHORICALLY.) from MOCKING my brother, when I was ~7 years old.
Karma's a bitch!
(… "Of course I believe in 'karma'.  KARMA's a WORD … like LOVE."--'The Matrix Reloaded')


… DESPITE my sight-problem, I devise ways to "HURDLE the OBSTACLE".
(THAT's just what I DO: Tell me I CAN'T DO SOMETHING, and I'll make you "EAT YOUR WORDS".)
In THIS CASE, I either CLOSE MY EYES for a few seconds, OR I tilt my head to MY RIGHT.
(This tactic is VERY ODD, 'cuz my "nystagmus" is DEFINITELY WORSE in my LEFT eye.
But, I guess my LEFT eye has learned to better "SHOULDER the LOAD" of focused-sight/vision.


… ANYWAY!  I JUST beat the "Expert"-level of "Minesweeper"--WHILE being "fed" via my G-tube.  Also, my eyes were being ESPECIALLY "RAMBUNCTIOUS"!


Until we meet again ….

LOGIC 'nerede'?!

… (THAT was a HALF-English, HALF-Turkish question.)
(… The Turkish word--pronounced 'NEHR-deh'--means 'WHERE'.)
(… Ergo, the topic translates to 'Where's logic?')


… My EVENING-nurse (I employ TWO nurses.), exclaims EVERY DAY that I "MUST BE getting' sick",  JUST because I TEND TO cough, when she begins to feed me my "food" and meds.
Yet, SHE coughs MORE than I DO.
By HER (LACK OF) reasoning, SHE's VERY ILL!
She DOESN'T EVEN cover her mouth, when she has these "episodes".
Thus, SHE's turning MY bedroom into a "germ-CESSPOOL", TEEMING with health-deteriorating bacteria"!





… Oh!  THERE'S the "LOGIC.
When she OPENS my G-tube, PHYSICS (and COMMON SENSE) indicates that AIR now has an open tunnel through which to travel (ENTER/EXIT my body).
(… COUGHING is ONE form of this "air-travel".
Another "form" is GAS.  But, I'll spare y'all the tales of my NOXIOUS fumes.)

It's … STILL … ALL angles.

…
In an effort to "work on" my WEAKNESSES,  I do squats--holding onto the hand-rail in my shower-area.
USUALLY, I do 20 squats.

Using my "STANDING UPRIGHT"-position as a 0-degree plane:
NORMALLY, I:

-- "DIP" ~120 degrees.
-- lean almost ENTIRELY on my LEFT, INJURED, weaker-ER leg for my last FIVE reps.


However, for the last week or so, I've been doing

--  30 squats.
-- AT LEAST ~135 degrees on my "DIPS".
-- 15 squats with the MAJORITY of my weight on my LEFT leg.

("You're ONLY as GOOD as your WEAKEST 'player'.")
(… My "players" = my LEGS)



…

POSSIBLE line (for me) during my MATH-tutoring:

…
"MUCH to learn you STILL have."
(--Master Yoda, 'Star Wars III')



(STRANGELY/ODDLY, I learned A FEW of my QUICK "number-playing"-TRICKS simply from watching (American) FOOTBALL.


...

I STILL have A LOT to learn.

…
"MENTORS have a way of seeing our FAULTS."
(--Queen Amidala, 'Star Wars: Episode II')


(… I must REMEMBER/UTILIZE  this quote once I begin my MATH-tutoring.)


...

"TRU DAT", AND reverse it!

…
"The ability to 'SPEAK' does NOT necessarily indicate INTELLIGENCE,"
(--'Star Wars: Phantom Menace')


(So, I STRUGGLE to CONSISTENTLY, COGENTLY/UNDERSTANDABLY talk.
Contrary to POPULAR belief, I am FAR FROM "NOT smart".


...

… (OBVIOUSLY) I am NOT Batman.

…
"It is NOT who I am UNDERNEATH.
But, what I DO that defines me."
(--'Batman Begins')


… Since I do NOT "run around" (DUH!) in a MASK, I'm gonna DIS-agree with the METAPHORICAL sentiment of this statement.
(I'll admit that my actions are not always the BRIGHTEST of "moves".  But, my intent is always "TRUE".)
(… My friend, Linus, who occasionally forgets my name, notes"
"You're a GOOD man, Charlie Brown.")


...

"Why do we FALL?"

…
"So, we can learn to 'pick ourselves UP'."
(METAPHORICALLY)
(--'Batman Begins')




… I KNOW what I MUST DO.
("I'm doin' the work.  I'm NOT a slacker.  PLEASE!"
--'What About Bob?')



… "GOOD things come to those who WAIT."


...

"T.G.I.F."

…
I have NOTHING IMMINENT on my schedule TODAY.
(I just "knocked on my WOOD-en table" … SERIOUSLY.)

Hence--Ergo--Thus--Therefore--Concordantly, I MUST/WILL devise MY OWN methods of PHYSICAL and MENTAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL exercise.

(… SELF-therapy)



"It looks like the STUDENT has become the TEACHER."
(--Mr. Miyagi, 'The Next Karate Kid')


...

YUM-YUM!

…
I had 13 SIZABLE bites of assorted Thanksgiving-foods prepared by my mother and brother earlier this evening.

(I had turkey, some veggies and--I'm PARTICULARLY proud of--and some SOFT, STICKY cranberry sauce.)

In honor of TODAY,

… I'm gonna offer my "THANKS" to"me, myself and I" for "GIVING" me the determination, (PRE-accident) EXEMPLARY physical/mental/biological/chemical/anatomical-strength and physics-COMPREHENSION to SIGNIFICANTLY aid/assist me in my recovery/rehabilitation!

We ("The ROYAL 'we'.--the EDITORIAL …"--'The Big Lebowski') APPRECIATE your (A.J.'s) recognition of OUR contributions!

(… Is it A BIT condescending of me that I'm thanking MYSELF?!)
(… I'm just "giving CREDIT where credit is DUE".)


...

I'm watchin' the (GREAT) film, 'Newsies'.

…
Pulitzer TRIED TO raise the price of newspapers for the "distribution-apparatus":

((Pulitzer (Robert Duval) calculated ALOUD.)

"A tenth of a cent TIMES 40,000 weekly papers DIHJUH, DIHJUH, DIHJUH" in New Yahk TIMES 52 weeks in a year =
0.01 x 40,000 x 52.2857… =
400 x ~52.29 =
~2091600 =
~$20,916

(… Almost 21 "grand" in 1899-NYC--let alone any-TIME, any-WHERE--is a SIZABLE amount!)


MORAL:
I need a NEW HOBBY-0BESIDES watching movies and doing math.

NOW, I'll speak in third-person.
…
"Oh, (A.J.K.)?  Yeah, he was here.  But, he put an egg in his shoe and BEAT IT."
--'Newsies


...

"I just think it's better to have IDEAS than BELIEFS."

… "It's MUCH easier to change an 'IDEA'."
(--'Dogma')


I have an "IDEA" of my walking AGAIN.
(… I "BELIEVE" that it will come TRUE … EVENTUALLY.)

(WARNING) "NOT up in here!"

…
So, my Gastral-Intestinal Doctor said that if I do NOT "relieve my bowels" EVERY DAY, then I NEED an enema!
(Pardon my IMPLIED expletive and "political IN-correctness", but THAT "THEORY" on human-health is just FRICKIN' RETARDED!)

I have an undergraduate-degree from the medically-ESTEEMED college of "University of Pennsylvania", so I KINDA know about what THE HELL I'm talkin'!
((… Even though that LANGUAGE is NOT my forte' (MATH is.), I KNOW that it's "frowned upon" to conclude a sentence with a preposition.))

(… Wait, wait, WAIT!  Don't I--SUPPOSEDLY--have a "Traumatic Brain-Injury"?!)



(… Granted, I do NOT wear the COVETED "white coat".  But, "IT'S the PRINCIPLE!"--inside-joke between my ex-girlfriend and me.)

RANDOM thought:

… "How does Edward Scissorhands go to the bathroom?"
(--'Seinfeld')


… That's a VERY VALID/LEGITIMATE question!


(… HHHMMM)

THIS is HOW I think/"operate":

…
Since my "neurological-impulses/messages" are SLOW to reach my respective muscles--IF AT ALL, I OFTEN compare said predicament to



"an inverse-tangent function approaching an asymptote".




(For readers who are NOT mathematically-inclined, this translates to

"I'm STUCK.")







… ONCE AGAIN,
MATH = UNIVERSAL language.

As we enter the wintery COLD-months, people WILL sneeze more.

…
"It's SCIENCE!"
(--'Anchorman')

… Ergo, I could EITHER be polite and cultural by saying, (PHONETIC Turkish:) 'CHOHK-yah-SHAH'--'Bless you'.

OR,

I could try to "lighten the mood" by quoting 'Seinfeld':
"You are SO good-looking."






CONCLUSION:
"Bundle up!"

"If you WILL it, 'Dude', it is NO 'dream'."

… I like to quote Walter Sobchak--who's quoting Theodor Herzyl's 'State of Israel'--in my FAVORITE film--'The Big Lebowski'.

… This quote summarizes my outlook on my recovery/"rehabilitation".
(I recite it to myself, before I "WALK"--with my walker.)


Unfortunately, not everyone can be as OPTIMISTIC as I AM.
((… I won't mention any names, but (cough, COUGH, cleating my throat) ALL of my (IDIOTIC) PESSIMISTIC doctors--RIGHT AFTER my accident--said that I would "DEFINITELY spend THE REST of (my) SHORT life as a 'VEGETABLE'".))
Well then, by THAT "reasoning" (HA!)--AND the transitive property of mathematics (If A = B and B = C, then A = C.), I should NOT be "functioning"/"processing info" so WELL--or, AT ALL--right now.


Also, since--according to THEM--I'm a "vegetable", then why don't y'all just "EAT ME!"(--slang)?

(… PARDON my obvious DISDAIN/"LACK OF respect" for MOST "medical-chiefs".
I had to "VENT".)


P.S. Do I--SOMEHOW--prove mathematics WRONG?!
(… I really am 'Good Will Hunting'.)

WHOA! I can just "SENSE" it.

…
So, my "caregiver" is SUPPOSED TO arrive at my house at 6:00 am EVERY MORNING.
For the last THREE DAYS, my "internal clock" has awoken me (at between 5:57 am and 5:59 am),--early enough to "monitor" (Well, I can't really "GET UP, WALK AROUND and OBSERVE".) (… Ha ha HA.  I made a JOKE about my DISABILITY.) (… If you DON'T laugh WITH--not AT--me, then "NATURE"'s winning.) their (I "employ" two MAIN guys.) arrival-time, setup, etc.

Now, PRIOR to my "trial-run"/"experiment", I THOUGHT I was waking up that EARLY, 'cuz of my "SUPERSONIC hearing".  Their "moseying about" my house was sometimes A BIT too LOUD for my SENSITIVE, EXTRAORDINARY ears.
However, on EACH of the last THREE days, I've noticed that they've been TRUANT.

Ergo, I must shift/"MORPH" into "BOSS-mode".
(I must "crack that whip".)


...

"GOOD times. GREAT oldies. Magic 102.7"

…
Yesterday evening I went OUT to watch the Cardinal Gibbons v. Coconut Creek HIGH SCHOL (folk style) wrestling dual-meet.

Gibbons is/was ALWAYS an ARCH-RIVAL for MY high school.
(I wrestled ALL FOUR YEARS of high school.
PLUS, I wrestled ALL FOUR  YEARS of undergraduate-college.)

I had PARTICULAR interest, 'cuz a good buddy of mine--one of my 'Sempai' ('Sehm-PIY') ('Assistant martial arts instructor')--wrestles for Coconut Creek High.

So, ALTHOUGH Gibbons's varsity TEAM won by a lot, my buddy WON HIS match.
("1 WIN"/"14 matches" = ~0.071457…)
HIS match CAN contribute ~7 % to HIS team's score.


… He didn't JUST win.  He won his match via PIN--which counts as DOUBLE the team-points as a win by "decision" (margin of victory is between 1 and 7.
(A PIN = 6 TEAM-points.  A "DECISION" = 3 TEAM-points.)

Also, the opposing coach is STILL a HUMUNGOUS JERK to opposing (HIGH SCHOOL … KID-) wrestlers!

"THIS is why I was born.

… I THRIVE under pressure."
(--Bill Murray, 'Space Jam')


(I play-ED basketball for my middle school.)

So, "take THAT", "Doubters"!
(Also, I'm CAUCASIAN--like Larry Bird.)
(…"Larry's not 'white'.  Larry's CLEAR."--'Space Jam')
(… Comedian Daniel Tosh would ask "IS It Racist?")

The BRILLIANT staff at my gym--"NeuroFit 360"--CONSTANTLY sets a mirror in front of me.

… Wait.  Don't y'all DARE sing,

"You're so VAIN!
You probably think this song is ABOUT YOU."


… ACTUALLY, the mirror allows me to SEE when I'm tilting my head/neck--which I SUBCONSCIOUSLY do since my accident.

I'm a VERY "VISUAL-learner.
(… PLUS, I have "FOUR-eyes" (glasses).


So, I APPRECIATE the "cuing"!


...

I wonder if I have "Tourette's".

…
(WARNING:
"Pardon my 'French'.)

I STRUGGLE to speak COGENTLY/UNDERSTANDABLY.
Yet, I seem to have a MUCH EASIER time saying curse-words.
(Perhaps I'm just more RELAXED/CARE-FREE.)

I'm KINDA like the bartender in the (GREAT) film, 'The Boondock Saints':
"FUCK!  ASS!"

"There's NO USE gettin' ALL RILED UP every time some IDIOTS give you a hard time."

… "The universe tends to 'unfold' as it should."
(--'Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle')


This quote seems to REALLY "sing the praises" of KARMA.
Well, I'm a GOOD-natured guy, and I'm SLOWLY--yet STEADILY--improving my PHYSICAL "health"!  (THANK YOU, "NeuroFit 360"!)


...

BRILLIANT life-motto:

…
"Look SHARP.
Live SMART.
Stay CLASSY."
(--Ron Burgundy, 'Anchorman 2')


(I try to MIMIC/EMULATE/"PRACTICE" those aspects in my EVERYDAY-living.)




…
"… It's SCIENCE."
(--Ron Burgundy, the FIRST 'Anchorman')

WAY TO GO, "NeuroFit 360" (my FANTASTIC gym)!

…
The OWNER of my gym and a staff member helped me do some GREAT exercises today!
(… Yeah, that's RIGHT.  I work with the OWNER.  "I don't know if you heard, but I'm KIND OF a BIG DEAL."--'Anchorman')



…
So,

1) I did some one-legged kneeling with "my opposite leg bent at a 90-degree angle from/on the floor".
(I forgot the NAME of that position.)
THEN, I would push myself up to a STANDING-position--by SHIFTING my body-weight onto the "raised leg"-side.
(My two "helpers" would only "SPOT me", in case I stumbled.)
(My PRACTICALLY PAINLESS LEFT knee--which has METAL in it--"performed" EXEMPLARY!)

2) I STOOD--with my back against a LARGE plastic/rubber ball--with my legs spread shoulder-width and SLIGHTLY bent, to do LIGHT "wall-sits/squats".
(I hadn't done THOSE since wrestling-practice in high school!)

3) I got up onto a cushioned table--WITH ASSISTANCE--to lie on my back, and do weighted (LEFT) leg-liftting exercises.  This exercise helped with my STRENGTH, ENDURANCE and "CONTROL".
((I STARTED at TEN pounds (~4.54… kilograms).  But, THAT was TOO EASY.  So, I ASKED to INCREASE the weight to TWELVE pounds (~5.45… kilograms).  AGAIN, I ASKED for MORE WEIGHT (FIFTEEN pounds =~6.81… kg).))



Moral:
I have a(MY) body by "HANZ and FRANZ" (old-school 'SNL').

… "IGNORANCE is (NOT) bliss."

…
"Your (DOUBTERS'/HATERS') 'IGNORANCE' is VERY dangerous."
(--'Hulk')


As a (2-time) black belt in martial arts, my hands are registered as "lethal weapons".
Yet, I have the CONTROL, DISCIPLINE and WHEREWITHAL to KNOW when to "USE my Karate-knowledge--employing it ONLY in defense of my LIFE, my FAMILY and my COUNTRY".

Karate is a form of self-DEFENSE.
Through my 21+ years of "martial arts"-training, I've learned to "harness"/CONTROL my emotions--specifically "ANGER"--in/for certain occasions.







Conclusion:
…
"You wouldn't like me, when I'm ANGRY."
('Hulk')



Y'all have been WARNED.

… GREAT workout (continued):

…
I REPEATEDLY stepped--maintaining EXEMPLARY neck- and back-posture--on the "I-care".
Once I started using said machine, I "stepped" for ~7 minutes.  (Actually, it was 6:58.)
Then, I had to rest, 'cuz my legs were fatigued.
After my "break" of ~2 minutes, I did my dramatic-interpretation of the film, 'Step Up Revolutions', for another EIGHT minutes and one second.
(So, I did FIFTEEN TOTAL MINUTES of STEPPING--with only ONE "break".)
(… I USUALLY only do TEN MINUTES … with TWO breaks.)
So, my ENDURANCE is IMPROVING.
YAY!


Also, I did some STANDING, leaning on my hands ON SAID TABLE and WALKING--SLOWLY, STEP-by-STEP--AROUND the table.
I made it ~9/8 of the way AROUND the ~8 feet by ~2 feet table, before I sat and rested.
THEN, after ~2 minutes, I SUCCESSFULLY, PAINLESSLY completed the last ~7/8 of my "trek" for TWO COMPLETE TRIPS AROUND the table.
(~8 x ~2 feet x 2 cycles = ~32 square feet
 = ~32 square feet x 12 inches/foot = 384 square-inches)


Conckusion:
MORE improvement = YAY!


...

AAAH, the TIMING! (How APPROPRIATE!)

…
After a GREAT workout at my FANTASTIC gym ("NeuroFit 360"), JUST as I entered the car to return home, I heard Bryan Adams singing:

"EVERYTHING I DO, I do it FOOORRR YOOUUUUUU!"


Thus--Therefor--Ergo, I IMMEDIATELY tapped each of my thighs--as a "THANK YOU".

(… YES, I--MENTALLY--"speak" to random body parts.
That's NOT weird.)
("My Spider-sense detects" some SARCASM.)

(… Is THAT egotistical of me?)
(… No.  On the contrary, it would've REALLY been "SAD"/HAUGHTY, if I kissed my biceps after a display of GREAT ARM-strength.)
(… SSSHHHHH!  I do THAT.)


...

TRUE STORY:

…
"I have a HIGHER-than-normal 'bone-density'-level.
If my bath-water is too high, I can drown."
(--DR. Sheldon Cooper, 'The Big Bang Theory')



(… PSYCHE!
Oooh, that was a "SICK" "BURN"!
I'm actually VERY--PHYSICALLY--HEALTHY!)

(… EXCEPT FOR my "Traumatic Brain-Injury" AND
my PARTIAL-use of my OWN LEGS)


(… But, GREAT show!)

…

A tenth of a cent per "PAPE" times 365 days/year times times ~2,050,600 NYC citizens on June 1, 1900
= $0.01 x 365 days/year x 2050600 NYC citizens in 1900

(… "It adds up."--'Newsies')


=             365
    x 2050600

=          219000
+      18250000  
      730000000

=   748469000
=  ~$7,484,690.00



Joseph Pulitzer wanted to make an EXTRA/ADDITIONAL almost 7 and a half MILLION (American) DOLLARS in turn-of-the-20th century (1899) America.

(… That's 'MUCHO DINERO' in turn-of-the-20th century U.S.A.)

"You can do anything (within REASON) you set your mind to."

…
That's an INSPIRING philosophy.


…
I ENVISION my STANDING, WALKING and (COGENTLY) SPEAKING.
(… "I just 'SEE' it!--'Good Will Hunting')


My CONFIDENCE in my STANDING and WALKING is continuously BOLSTERED by my SLOW but STEADY PROGRESS/IMPROVEMENTS at my gym ("NeuroFit 360").
Thanks to my GREAT Speech-Therapist, my speaking-abilities are IMPROVING!


...

Pardon my (ALMOST) truancy.

…
In honor of TODAY:


…
"Have you ever heard of 'Vietnam'?"
(--'The Big Lebowski')

… Hey, they can't ALL be winners.

…
Although I "gave it my ALL"--produced A LOT of effort/"output", I did NOT have my BEST performance at my FABULOUS gym--"NeuroFit 360", I still had my FEW "bright spots".


1) I did the "I-care" (step-machine).  I was told at the onset to go for FIVE minutes, which I completed with NO PROBLEMS.  THEN, I went for MORE/LONGER.
HOWEVER, after 6 minutes and 4 seconds, I became tired.  (… NO pain, JUST fatigue)

2) I performed MANY ONE-LEGGED squats in/on the "Total-gym".
AGAIN, my  (LACK OF) endurance "struck".


(SIGH)

...

IF it were 730 days prior to NOW.

…
(WAIT!  Was 2012 a "Leap Year"?)

… it'd be ~11:11 '11 EST.



(I am--numerically--RANDOM.)


(… HHHMMM, maybe my "RANDOM"-ness is NOT JUST "numerical".)

… "It's (STILL) ALL angles."

… For EACH of my 30 squats was APPROXIMATELY (~) 135 degrees.
(The y-plane is my straightened, "STANDING" body.)
(I must APPROXIMATE the angle, 'cuz I forgot my protractor ,,, in my "Algebra II/Trigonometry Honors"-class … in TENTH grade … in 2001.)


(… FYI: I'm a "Math SUPER-nerd"!)



… AGAIN, I believe that my "Traumatic Brain-Injury" has actually IMPROVED my quantification/"number-crunching" abilities.



(ATTENTION, DOUBTERS/HATERS:
Once again, I'm an ANOMALY.)

(…. I'm sorry I'm NOT sorry!)

… Sunday (TODAY) is SUPPOSED TO be my "RELAX-day"!

…
However, I say, "NAY!"

So,

1) I walked--aided/assisted by my walker--not my USUAL once from my bed to my bathroom-sink, but TWO SEPARATE times.  Also, to conclude BOTH walks, I maneuvered my feet in front of my chair to position myself accordingly.   I made sure I could let go of my walker with my (BETTER) RIGHT hand to reach back and grasp my wheelchair-armhandle.  Then, I'd--SLOWLY--lower my butt/rump/'gluteus maximus'/"BEE-hind/"money-maker" down onto my wheelchair.
I was NOT content with the speed of my "butt-lowering" on my first attempt.  So, I grabbed my walker and pushed myself to a STAND-UP to REPEAT my "sit-down procedure".  I STILL was NOT satisfied with my "sitting-form/etiquette".  So, I STOOD UP and REPEATED the sitting-procedure until I was satisfied with my effort … which was FOUR MORE times.

2) I have NOT really CONSISTENTLY done squats in my bathroom since I started my GREAT, PRODUCTIVE, EXHAUSTING leg-work at my EXCEPTIONAL gym ("NeuroFit 360").  Yet, TODAY I'm feeling ENERGETIC.  So, instead of my USUAL 20 squats, I did 30 squats--SLOW, DEEP and PAINLESS.


CONCLUSION:
YAY for my--SEEMINGLY weak--legs!


...

… "I have a DREAM!"

… I wanna/WILL quote Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., WHEN I WALK:

"Free at last.
Free at last.
Thank GOD Almighty, we are FREE AT LAST!"

((… Of course, I mean "the ROYAL 'we'--the EDITORIAL"
(--'The Big Lebowski'))


(… I attended an ESTEEMED Catholic high school, so I understand/comprehend the concepts of "FAITH" and "HOPE" and "BELIEFS".


I plan on doing an EXTREMELY "large" amount of "leg-work" TODAY--SUNDAY--my "CHILL-day" to BOLSTER my CONFIDENCE.)


...

I'm "SURROUNDED!

…
It's EVERYWHERE!

I'm a "glass is half-FULL"-kinda guy--an OPTIMIST.
I DISDAIN//ABHOR DOUBTERS/"HATERS"!

In my CURRENT condition, I've HAD TO deal with NUMEROUS/COUNTLESS PESSIMISTS.

"It's NOT rocket-science" to REALIZE that I'm REALLY an ANOMALY!
Yes, I have a "Traumatic Brain-Injury".
But, I'm one of the VERY FEW cases in which my "disabilities" are almost COMPLETELY PHYSICAL and MEMORY-related.
(… Yes, my LACK OF consistent, cogent SPEECH is PHYSICAL.)
Actually, since I STRUGGLE to write LEGIBLY, I MUST DO almost all of my math-work MENTALLY.  Ergo, I strongly believe that--out of NECESSITY--my MENTAL-math quantification and comprehension is BETTER than EVER!


… Anyway, "HOPE" is ALL AROUND ME!

1) The word "HOPE" is painted on the ceiling at my TREMENDOUS gym ("NeuroFit 360") above a machine I use ~THREE times per week.

2) In one of my favorite movies--'The Shawshank Redemption', the main character says (writes):
"'HOPE' is a good thing--maybe the best of things."


Ergo, I've gotta continue to BE STRONG, OVERCOME adversity and "HURDLE" obstacles.


...

I should have a CELEBRATORY party soon.

…
I SHOULD purchase a "SNAZZY" suit to look extra HANDSOME for said par-TAY.


My inner-monologue: "Let me let you in on a little secret.
K-Mart sucks."
(--'Rain Man')

What did I do to DESERVE … the LOSS of a GOOD AMOUNT of MY LEGS?!

…
"INNOCENCE is a HIGHLY overrated commodity."
(--'The Hurricane')

(… On second thought, I won't "play the BLAME-GAME".
"The DAMAGE has been done.")

(… I'm SLOWLY yet SURELY on my--METAPHORICAL--"path" to RECOVERY.)


...

WOW! I must've done SOMETHING right!

…
When I just "roll into" my "martial arts"-dojo/school JUST to WATCH--NOT TEACH--class (as I did last night), I get treated with such GREAT RESPECT.
I didn't even HAVE TO quote Eric Cartman from 'South Park' and yell,

"RESPECT my AU-THOR-IH-TAY!"

I guess word "got around" of my "trials and tribulations", and ALL I've had to OVERCOME.

As my "thank you"-message to the Professor, I demonstrated my standing--WITHOUT ANY HELP--from my wheelchair.
(… Granted, my "FEAT" only lasted for a few seconds.  But, it's the PRINCIPLE!)



(… In actuality, the LOYAL, RESPECTFUL students are a reflection of the GREAT, DETERMINED, RESPECTFUL manner in which my Professor teaches.)

"Do as I SAY, not as I DO."

…
Although I feel that I'm a GOOD person OVERALL,  I KNOW I'm NOT a "stand-up" individual.
I don't ALWAYS "practice what I preach".



UNFORTUNATELY, (I'm speaking in 3rd person.):

"It is not who you are UNDERNEATH, but what you DO that defines you."
(--'Batman Begins')


I KNOW I've DONE some regrettable, unfortunate, UN-wise things that I REGRET.
Alas, we CANNOT change the past.  We can only LEARN from it, so as not to REPEAT our MISTAKES.


...

Based on my LONG, VARIED history of athletic PROWESS,

…
I've learned that the MOST IMPORTANT part of being GREAT at ANYTHING is

…

HAVING FUN!



Ergo, I NEVER dread my workouts!
(I "see the light at the end of the tunnel".)

I REALLY enjoy TEACHING Karate/'Jiujitsu'!
(… Even just WATCHING it)

I NEVER turn away from a "SOLID" wrestling match!
(… "Amateur", NOT that "professional"-"Entertainment", FAKE "CRAP")

I actually "LOOK FORWARD" to my MATH-tutoring!
(whispering) (I'm a nerd.)


...

(Personification:)

…
"NeuroFit 360", you're my MOST BENEFICIAL, INSPIRING, INFLUENTIAL friend!

During my workout today, I focused on my standing.
My favorite staff-member--BESIDES the OWNER--first helped me gain, gather and MAINTAIN my confidence.
(MUCH of my IN-ability to WALK is--UNFORTUNATELY--psychological.)
(  : (  )
(… aFTER ALL, I DO have a "Traumatic Brain-Injury".)


I did some trials of my STANDING--ALONE.
I would push myself up and out of my/"NeuroFit 360"'s wheelchair and STOOD alongside a table--with most of my weight on/in my HANDS, AGAINST/ON the table.
After getting situated in a STABLE STANDING-position--with my back and head/neck STRAIGHT and legs spread and "CEMENTED"/STABLE, I'd lift FIRST my LEFT hand to ~pectoral-level.
THEN, I'd lift my RIGHT arm.
After a few seconds of supporting me, the staff-member would LET ME GO.


So, I was STANDING … ALL BY MYSELF … for ~FOUR SECONDS!
(… Well, through SEVERAL trials, my BEST TIME was "FOUR SECONDS"!
I ALSO had A BUNCH of ONE and TWO SECOND attempts.)




Conclusion:
YAY!
I'm getting' there!

(WARNING:) GOOD to know!

…
Early this afternoon I was hunched over my "porcelain throne",  and it was a bit UN-evenyful.

So, I decided to "take matters into MY OWN HANDS"--literally
I began to--NOT violently--HIT MYSELF in the stomach … between my FIFTH and SIXTH RIGHT "TRUE ribs" (Humans have SEVEN … PAIRS of "TRUE ribs", along with FIVE … PAIRS of "FALSE ribs".)

Almost IMMEDIATELY, I/"this abdominal contact:" "triggered" an Excretory-Evacutory Extravaganza ("Alliteration aside."--'Dodgeball').



I MUST commit THIS "bowels-EMPTYING"-strike to memory IN CASE I get into a situation in which I must use my 21+ years of "martial arts"-training "… in defense of my LIFE, my FAMILY, or my COUNTRY"(--Karate School Creed).




(I'm not gonna lie: It'd be WILD to strike an Attacker--thus causing him/her to CRAP his/her pants!)


REVISION:
It was NOT so much of a PUNCH/STRIKE.
It was more of a CONTINUOUS, FORCEFUL … RUB with my RIGHT thumb-knuckle.



...

My SEVERE car-driving accident may SEEM to prove OTHERWISE.

…
However, upon GREATER inspection, one would learn that my FRONT-LEFT car-tire EXPLODED and EJECTED ME over my seatbelt, out my car-window and onto the highway.

I suffered a "Traumatic Brain-Injury", which--IRONICALLY--makes this comparison MORE APPROPRIATE.


…
"I'm an EXCELLENT driver."
(--Raymond Babbitt, 'Rain Man')



…

… "Things could be WORSE."

… "I could've gotten MY NOSE BITTEN OFF …
by a SAIGON WHORE!"
('Dirty Work')



(… Although, my recovery-process is a bit of "Dirty WORK".)


...

"Take the GOOD with the BAD."

…

It's

"Just another MANIC MUHN-day.
(I) Wish it were SUHN-day,
…
'Cuz that's my FUN-day."



(… No, ALL in ALL, I have NO complaints.  I just wanted to SING.)

… EVERYTHING is a test of my PATIENCE and DETERMINATION, because with--ESSENTIALLY--NO (WORKING) legs and only 1.6 hands (I can--INDIVIDUALLY--open ONLY THREE of my five fingers on my RIGHT hand.), EVERYTHING takes me LONGER to do.

(… That would be the BAD.)


… The GOOD would be that

-- CONTRARY to ALL medical-opininion/prognosis/diagnosis/prediction, I'm ALIVE,  and my immune system is STILL WAY BETTER than average.
(I can't remember the LAST time I was deemed/regarded "sick".
DON'T say: "Oh, that's just 'cuz you have MEMORY-PROBLEMS."
Both my mom AND my nurse SUPPORT my claim!)
-- I have an EXCELLENT "economic-team" that helps me PROPERLY/RESPONSIBLY "manage my finances".
-- From the help of my FANTASTIC gym--"NeuroFit 360", my Speech-"Therapist" AND my neuropsychologist, I'm IMPROVING--slowly but surely.


...

"Payback's a (FEMALE DOG)."

… My mom just TRIED TO punch me in my LEFT shoulder.
(I WANTED TO yell,"BAD FORM,  Smee!")
(--'Hook')


1) She NEGLECTED TO PROPERLY "CHAMBER" her punch.
(Having 21+ years of EXCEPTIONAL martial arts training, I'd THINK that I'd KNOW PROPER "punching-etiquet".)

2) WHY would she PUNCH her OWN SON?!
(SSSHHH!  She has PROBLEMS/ISSUES.)

3) NEED I remind her/y'all of the PLETHORA of metal in/on my LEFT shoulder?!






P.S. I HAVE TO clarify:

My mom AND I like to JOKE AROUND, when she PLAYFULLY hits me in the shoulder.
She ONLY does that, 'cuz she KNOWS it will NOT "phase me".
She NEVER means ANY harm!

Actually, she's GREAT.

"What IS 'REAL'?"

… "How do you DEFINE 'REAL'?"


"'FATE' can't help but be defined with a sense of IRONY."
(--Morpheus, 'The Matrix')


((The "IRONY" of my accident is that I was driving home from KARATE-class, and I COULDA/WOULDA/SHOULDA done a "shoulder-roll"--that I learned and REGULARLY practiced IN said Karate-class--upon my being EJECTED from my flipping car and onto the highway.  It was July 6, 2008--"a date which will live in INFAMY"(--President FDR).))


(…
Am I IN 'The Matrix'?!

"I know … 'JIUJITSU'?"--'The Matrix'

(… I already KNOW and TEACH "IT".
… It only took me ~15 years.)

In-GENIUS outlook on LIFE!

…
"Think like a proton:
Stay POSITIVE."

(--Dr. Sheldon Cooper, 'The Big Bang Theory')

… This premise is very "glass is half-FULL"/OPTIMISTIC, which is how I like to think.



((Then again, people should still KNOW of the "WORST case scenario" to devise/prepare a SOUND strategy/plan.  (I'm ALL ABOUT the hypothetical: What IF?)
But, DON'T RELY on it like it's "SET in STONE"--as SO MANY of my doctors have been doing!))


To my doctors: I apologize for "breaking this to" y'all, but--CONTRARY to POPULAR belief--y'all are NOT "IN-fallible"!

(… Actually, I'm sorry I'm NOT sorry.)

"So, you're tellin' me there's a CHANCE!"

… --Lloyd Christmas (Jim Carrey of 'Dumb & Dumber')


Since I'm a Bio'(MEDICAL)engineer, and Dr. Gregory House--of the television show, 'House', is a (MEDICAL) doctor; I do NOT think that it's POMPOUS to HOPE that--ONE DAY--I could POSSIBLY emulate him.



Also, NEITHER one of us AMBULATES/walks particularly well.
(He uses a CANE.
I use a WHEELCHAIR.)



Also ALSO,  we BOTH  are BEYOND smart/bright/logical.
(Was THAT condescending?
… Do I care?!)



Finally, we BOTH use SARCASTIC humor FREQUENTLY to deal with UNCOMFORTABLE situations.

But, HE can/did!

...
"You KNOW there's NOBODY in the WORLD who can 'count a SIX-deck chute'."


--'Rain Man'


(I can "count" ONLY one deck.
Ergo, I'm 16.67% of 'RAIN-Man'.)


(… According to comedian Daniel Tosh, my IMAGINARY name--if I were a meteorologist--would be "Penis DRIZZLE".)


(… Ha ha HA!
Given my SUB-par "state of affairs", I'm gonna JOKE about my DIS-abilities.  
After all, "LAUGHTER is the best medicine.")

"I think I'm ENTITLED to it."(--'A Few Good Men')

After my workout yesterday at "NeuroFit 360",

… I realized the quote from 'The Matrix'--both LITERALLY and METAPHORICALLY:

"There's a DIFFERENCE between KNOWING 'the path'
and 'WALKING' it."

(Only TIME will "tell".)


...

"If Momma ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy."

…
(My mom's a Speech-Pathologist.)

I made the INTUITIVE observation that--strangely/oddly/IRONICALLY--the word, "lisp", has an "s" in it.
So, it'd be a "LITHP".

VALID point

...
"Maybe it's called 'the beaten path', 'cuz it can be BEATEN."
(--Acura-car commercial)


I've had SO MANY "DOUBTERS"/"HATERS" since my TRAUMATIC injury, that I feel SO MUCH pride and confidence for just the LITTLE things I accomplish!

... Ergo--Thus--Therefore--Consequently--Heretofore--But, I do NOT feel that I'm "BRAGGING", when I note my daily/weekly TRIUMPHS!


Although I AM a BIO-engineer (from the HIGHLY ESTEEMED University of Pennsylvania), I've lost almost ALL respect for so-called "DOCTORS".
According to THEM, I SHOULD "spend THE REST of (MY) SHORT life as a NON-functioning 'VEGETABLE"!

(… Since I'm OBVIOUSLY NOT a "vegetable", I HAVE TO question the PRESUMED "integrity" of a "MEDICAL degree".  Our RIDICULOUS "respect" and "admiration" for such "PHONIES" is RIDICULOUS "pomp and circumstance" that INFURIATES me!)



P.S. On a LESSER note (forearm compared to BRAIN), I have NOT been able to--WITHOUT ASSISTANCE--OPEN THREE of my right-handed fingers!

...

I've GOTTA stimulate BRAIN-activity!

...
So, I arose EARLY this morning (~5:42 am EST).
I needed something to do.
After checking the SPORTS-news and concluding that NOT MUCH had changed from LATE last night, I decoded to do some (MENTAL) "WORK".


I did something I've NEVER done before--even PRE-accident!

I BEAT the "Expert"-level of 99 "BOMBS"/"MINES" in (16 rows x 30 columns =) 480 "spaces" ...

THREE CONSECUTIVE TIMES.
(NO restarts.  NO break-time.  NO exaggeration.)

Just STRAIGHT-UP VICTORY!

...
Then, again.

...
Then, AGAIN!


(I've GOTTA do more MATH!)

99 "bombs" in
480 "spaces"

=

0.20625


APPROXIMATELY (~) one fifth (1/5 of) the "board"/"minefield" is "BOMBS".


PLUS, I have TWO--no, THREE--"handicaps":

1) Thanks to a PRE-accident surgery-MISHAP on my right forearm, I LACK the manual-dexterity/control to FULLY open THREE of my FIVE right-handed fingers.  So, I can't "MARK" certain spaces as "bombs".  (3/5 = 60 %)
HARUMPF!

2) I have SWVERE astigmatism in my LEFT eye.
(I developed this optic-lens curvature in BOTH eyes, but it's WAY worse in my LEFT eye.)

...

3) OH, YEAH!
I have a "Traumatic Brain-Injury" that SEVERELY limits/decreases my "memory-capacity/intake".
(... Further HARUMPF!)


Nonetheless, I'm singing:
"Ain't nobody gonna HOLD ME DOWN!"

"I was INSPIRED!" (Part II)

... One of the staff-members at "NeuroFit 360"--my PHENOMENAL gym--was/is GREAT for my mental-toughness/confidence!

This particular worker (Out of respect, I MUST maintain BOTH the name- AND gender-anonymity.) had MAJOR neck-surgery for a SIGNIFICANT neck-injury.
Yet NOW, this "NeuroFit 360"-employee stands, moves, WALKS and trains--WITH well-timed and appreciated HUMOR (a MUST-HAVE)--quite admirably!
Said worker likes to CONSTANTLY remind me to maintain PROPER neck/head-positioning.
I WELCOME this CORRECTING, 'cuz ALOTTA times I don't even REALIZE that I'm tilting!


Ergo, I APPRECIATE the cues!
...

"I was INSPIRED!" (Part I)

... On my way to my VERY HELPFUL gym ("NeuroFit 360"), I heard a song on the radio that got me PUMPED/"PSYCHED":

Bryan Adams's '"(Everything I Do) I Do It For You"  .


(I was thinking in 3rd-person: The "You" is ME.)



(... EXCUSE ME!  It'd be "The 'You' is I", 'cuz it's a predicate-nominative.)

HOW do I accumulate such an EXORBITANT amount of $$?!

...


"What would you do
If you were asked to give up your dreams for freedom?
What would you do
If asked to make the ultimate sacrifice?

Would you think about all them people
Who gave up everything they had?
Would you think about all them War Vets
And would you start to feel bad?

Freedom isn't free
It costs folks like you and me
And if we don't all chip in
We'll never pay that bill
Freedom isn't free
No, there's a hefty f---in' fee.
And if you don't throw in your buck 'o five
Who will?

What would you do
If someone told you to fight for freedom?
Would you answer the call
Or run away like a little (female dog)?
'Cause the only reason that you're here
Is 'cause folks died for you in the past
So maybe now it's your turn
To die kicking some ass

Freedom isn't free
It costs folks like you and me
And if we don't all chip in
We'll never pay that bill
Freedom isn't free
Now there's a hefty f---in' fee
And if you don't throw in your buck 'o five
Who will?

You don't throw in your buck 'o five. Who will?
Oooh buck 'o five
Freedom costs a buck 'o five!"

(--'Team America: World Police')

... YET ANOTHER "SHOUT-OUT" to my trainer(S):

...
My "LOWER body"-trainers at "NeuroFit"have aided me SO MUCH in building/developing my LEG-STRENGTH and LEG-MOBILITY!


It's tough to explain my PROGRESS without NUMBERS (MY language) or pictures (I'm NOT an artist.), so I'll work on a LEGITIMATE, LUCID explanation.


...

"Ignorance is BLISS."

...
WORD-PLAY!

(Let's PRETEND that "ignorance" does NOT mean a "LACK of knowledge".
Let's IMAGINE it means "the ability to KNOW but IGNORE".)


... Under SAID stipulations/guidelines, EVERY TIME I get out of the car when travellingl,  I look up at the "handle".
After GLARING at it and thinking: "You TEASE me, yet I'm BETTER than you", I DELIBERATELY harness my chi, gather my balance and swing out my legs.



I KNOW PHYSICS!
I UNDERSTAND "LEVERAGE"!

However, in an effort to be more INDEPENDENT, I like/CHOOSE to do AS MUCH AS I CAN--ON MY OWN.

...

"Some things NEVER change."

... -- 'The Matrix Revolutions'


... During my DAILY--WALKER-ASSISTED--"walking", I've noticed that my stride/gait is becoming QUITE smooth.  But, it's STILL sub-par in strength.

It's like my martial arts:
I may not have always displayed GREAT POWER.  But, the FLUIDITY was ALWAYS there.

"I'm talkin' about FORM.
I'm talkin' about FUNCTION.
God.  The devil.
Hell.  And heaven.
(--Harding, ''One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest'')



...
"But, some things DO."  (This is a glimmer of HOPE that I'll 'change' my CURRENT/TEMPORARY disability.)
(--ALSO from 'The Matrix Revolutions')

... MORE 'Rain Man':

...
(ME) Raymond: "Uh-OH, fart."

(MY) Younger brother: "How can you STAND that?!"

(ME) Ray: "I don't MIND it."


...
((Since "The Creator"(--'The Matrix Reloaded') recently CONFIRMED--AT my last NEUROLOGIC-rehab institute/facility--that I CAN--in fact--"COUNT CARDS", I STRONGLY believe that my EXTRAORDINARY "FLUENCY" in/with "NUMEROLOGY" coupled with my "Traumatic Brain-Injury" makes me a GREAT/PRIME candidate/example of a REAL-LIFE 'Rain Man'.))

(... Ergo, Vegas BEWARE!)

... "Of course. Today's Monday. (It's) Definitely not SATURDAY."

... "Dad lets me drive SLOW on the driveway.
But, ONLY on SATURDAYS."


...
"Twenty-seven minutes 'til 'Jeopardy'.
Practically    twenty-SIX."


...
"Of course, I don't have my tapioca pudding."


...
"Of course, MONDAY night's 'ITALIAN Night.
I have pepperoni PIZZA."


...
"Uh-OH, Vern.  V-E-R-N Vern.  My main man, Vern."

(I had a Physical Therapist named "Vern" at my last rehab-facility.)


...
"'QUANTUS'.
'Quantus' NEVER crashed."




(--'Rain Man')

I apologize. I WAS gonna write MORE.

...
"But, I gotta see about a girl."


(Robin Williams--about ME:) "He STOLE my line."



(... --'Good Will Hunting')

"Confucius say WHAT?!"

...
"Find a job you love, and you'll never work a day in your LIFE."(--Confucius)


IF this holds true, then I must ALWAYS be "working".




(... Yes, I AM IMPLYING that I do NOT even LIKE my "job" of rehabilitation.)

(... However, I DO understand that it's a "NECESSARY evil".
I am DETERMINED to prove any/ALL DOUBTERS "dead-WRONG"!)

Chronological order:

...

"You GOTTA learn to DANCE, before you learn to CRAWL!"
(--song by Meat Loaf--played in the film, ''That's My Boy'')


(...Well--PRIOR to my accident,  I was QUITE the (GOOD) sight on the dance-floor!)


HOWEVER, "crawling" may be A BIT of a TOUGH-TASK with my LEFT-knee problems/injury.

I am a TEACHER.

... DESPITE my INABILITY to CONSISTENTLY, COGENTLY speak,
I STILL managed to teach my mom the PROPER "form" for punching.



1) Clench your fingers TIGHT in a CLOSED fist.

2) Lay thumb OVER CLOSED, TIGHTENED fingers.

3) ... The thumb SHOULD BE resting on the CLOSED middle finger.

4) The TIGHTENED fist SHOULD rest along the SIDE of the body.
It's STILL TIGHTENED--palm UP--along the ~FOURTH rib.

5) INHALE air BEFORE striking to "oxygenate"/"fuel" muscles.

6) When striking, the CLENCHED fist SHOULD drag along the side of the stomach--with the fist STILL fingers facing UP.

7) RIGHT BEFORE striking the target, one OVERTURNS the fist to 'front punch' desired target with an OVERHANDED strike/punch.

8) Make sure to EXHALE during the contact.

9) BE SURE to maintain a TIGHT, CLENCHED throughout the strike to protect OWN fingers.

...

(Granted, my mom didn't execute a PROPER punch until her 14th try,)
(1/14 = .71428 = ~71.43%)


(... Japanese '"martial arts"-teacher' = 'sensei')
(... I AM one.)

... "GREAT workout!" (Part II)

...
Yesterday I further demonstrated my ONGOING improvements in

range-of-motion,
strength,
endurance
AND flexibility.


(... These "betterments" were/are ALL done so by my UPPER-body.)

(... "Tuesday's 'ARMS and BACK'."
--'Anchorman')

NOT up in HERE!

... Maybe it's from my 21+ years (and counting ...) of "martial arts"-training,
OR maybe it's YET ANOTHER side-effect/consequence of my ACCIDENT.

But, I feel VERY UNCOMFORTABLE, when other people TOUCH my face.
(... UNLESS said "toucher" is a BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.)
(... Okay, the fact that I'm using my blog to "drop LAME 'pick-up lines'" on INNOCENT females is just SAD/PATHETIC!)
(... But, "to each his own".)


... However, this/my discomfort HAS INCREASED my INDEPENDENCE and desire to do things MYSELF.

...
"So, I've got THAT goin' for me--which is nice."
(--'Caddyshack')

GREAT workout! (Part I)

...
YESTERDAY, I sat in a machine that stretched and "worked" my INNER-THIGHS.

Also, I was flat on my back on the floor as I "pedaled" my feet/legs on a machine over me as I lifted the opposite-sided arm SIMULTANEOUSLY.


(This exercise REALLY helped me CONTROL my tendency to hyperextend my LEFT leg.)

I am NOT "Patrick Bateman"!

...
Despite my "T.B.I." ("Traumatic Brain-Injury"), I am NOT the/an

'American Psycho'!



((GREAT film ... for FUTURE-Batman (Christian Bale)!))

PHYSICAL evidence:

...
"... 'SCARS' are EVIDENCE that the past actually happened."
(--Hannibal Lector in 'Red Dragon')


... My VISIBLE injury--"evidence STILL includes

-- a THREE-inch long surgical "SCAR" along my right forearm
-- a 3/4 of an inch "SCAR" around my left big-toe
...

SLOWLY yet SURELY

...

... (Mr. Kaynatma--ME) REBORN.  Do you see?!"
(Thomas Harris's 'Red Dragon')


... RELAX!  I mean that METAPHORICALLY.
In terms of the film, I am--OBVIOUSLY--NOT dead--just EMOTIONALLY.
("The lambs have been silenced."--Thomas Harris's 'Silence of the Lambs')


... Thanks to the FANTASTIC help from the staff of/at my gym--"NeuroFit 360"--I'm noticing TREMENDOUS--metaphorical AND literal--"steps" toward my PROPER, UN-assisted standing/walking.





P.S. I am NOT a "DIRTY, little BEAST"!
(--'Red Dragon')

GREAT (funny) point! (I wish I'd have thought of that!)

...
"Old MacDonald was a REALLY BAD speller."

"Spell 'cow'."
"C-O-W-'E-I-E-I-O'."
(Buzzer for IN-correct answer)


(--GEICO commercial)


In comparison--not to brag, but I WON my elementary SCHOOL-WIDE Spelling Bee in fourth grade.

... ANOTHER INSPIRATIONAL film:

... I WILL "change the stahs".
(--''A Knight's Tale'')

(SIGH) Need I remind y'all?

...
I actually ENCOURAGE/WELCOME "comments"/"feedback" on my blog-posts.

I've ONLY received ONE "comment" thus far, and I THINK I figured out how to "reply" to said "commenter".


...

I am a man

... of MANY talents.

My brother commented--AFTER one of his Turkish-reviews with/for his girlfriend--IN MY BEDROOM (... on the whiteboard) about ME:

"His pronunciation of TURKISH is better than ENGLISH!"


(It probably HELPS that Turkish is PHONETIC.)


(Also, I'm VERY HAPPY that I REMEMBER much of the language!)



P.S. In addition to my "MASTERY" of the ENGLISH language, I ALSO know a GOOD PORTION of

-- Turkish
-- Spanish
-- Japanese
and
-- Latin
.

... "MY 'POINT'"

... "is 'DESTINY' is what we MAKE of it."
(--'The Bone Collector')

I can REALY relate to this SPECTACULAR film!


Approximately five years ago, I was doing my (SECONDARY) job (teaching martial arts), when a TERRIBLE, UNFORTUNATE, TRAUMATIC accident happened.  Since I'm an ANOMALY, I--like "Lincoln Rhyme" (played by actor Denzel Washington)--WAS VERY INTELLIGENT PRE-accident and STILL AM.

Mr. Rhyme was/is a LITERARY "junkie".
While my area of expertise is more MATHEMATICAL.

This film--SOMEWHAT--shows some of the UNFORTUNATE, AGGRAVATING (ILL-SPOKEN) ASS-umptions that people can make about SEVERELY disabled people--like myself.


...

... REVISION!

...
My "neural-psychologist" does NOT "loathe" that I do SO MUCH mental math SO WELL!
She merely gets amazed at my accuracy.
Also, she tends to get SLIGHTLY bewildered/befuddled by/at my CONSTANT (MENTAL) "number-crunching".

It is just WHAT I DO.

(SOME people are more ARTSY-FARTSY.
Personally, I prefer it STRAIGHT-UP, "CUT N' DRY".)


(NUMBERS don't/CAN'T lie.

Granted, they may be "open to INTERPRETATION".
But, THAT ONUS "falls upon" each respective viewer.)





(... WHOA!  That was DEEP.)

GREAT day!

...
1) I fed MYSELF---via MOUTH--~1.5 cups of peaches in ~SEVEN minutes.
(NO problems!)

2) My Speech Therapist INTUITIVELY noted that my LACK OF feeling my CONSTANT tongue-biting is due to my nerve-DISconnections.  Her LIKELY TRUE explanation falls in DIRECT CONTRAST to MY (HOPEFUL, EGOTISTICAL) theory that my 21+ years of "martial arts"-training    have gotten me just USED TO "dealing with" and IGNORING pain.
(... SEMI-related: I'm gonna "IGNORE" my "SEMI-"run-on sentence.)

3) I had a FANTASTIC workout at my STUPENDOUS gym ("NeuroFit 360")!
-- I did SEVEN "sit-to-stands", WHILE I maintained PROPER, STRAIGHT neck- & back-posture.
-- I "made/took GREAT strides" (BOTH LITERALLY and METAPHORICALLY) on the treadmill.

4) I discussed--and RESOLVED--some issues of MY business.
(MORE on THAT later ...)


P.S.    The sum of the first 16 squares (INCLUDING 0) is a multiple of the FIRST EVEN square.
( 1240)

(I JUST wanted to include #s in this blog-post.)
(... PLUS, I wanted to display the "STRENGTH" of my "mental math"-"POWER".)
(... "Knock on wood.")

... "You know as well as I do,"

... "there's work on nerve-regeneration EVERY DAY."
(--'The Bone Collector')


(Well, I'm PATIENTLY waiting--and DILIGENTLY, FERVENTLY laboring--to have MY "day" of WALKING, TALKING, TASTING, SMELLING, etc.)

(I have the word BRILLIANTLY painted on the ceiling at my WONDERFUL gym, "NeuroFit 360"--"HOPE"!)

SSSHHH! D' ya hear that?

... My neuro-psychologist LOATHES/SULKS when I do (MENTAL) math.
So, basically she loathes when I ... BREATHE.

(This is VERY RANDOM.))

I was born on April 8th, 1985.  Let's say my birth was (IRONICALLY) at ~"HIGH NOON".
So, as of RIGHT NOW (October 1st at ~5:00 pm)), I'm

~28.4924 years ~ 10,220 days + 175 + 7 (Leap Years) = 10,402 days ~ 208040 + 41608 + 5 = 249,653 hours ~ 14,979,180 minutes "YOUNG"


P.S. I JUST figured out 30% (3/10) of that--in my MIND--in the car on my way home from my most recent neuro-appointment.
(She INSPIRED me!)


...

... GENERALIZED "theme":

...
Since NUMBERS are an ESSENTIAL, NECESSARY part of MY ORGANIZATIONAL, BALANCED thinking, my viewers may notice the FREQUENCY of/by which they appear in my blogging.

ALSO, I'm a BIG "movie-buff" (No, my diction/word-choice does NOT imply that I'm an AVID viewer/participator in the workout-videos of "Hanz and Franz" from old-school 'S.N.L.'.).  But, REMARKABLY, I'd STILL consider myself to have an ATHLETIC-build.
So, I'll tend to quote movies and/or television shows and relate them to my PROGRESS.

(... I'd ESTIMATE that EITHER of these topics are included in ~7/8 (87.5%) of my blogs.
(MATH-"strength" + brain-injury = TEXTBOOK film: 'A Beautiful Mind')


In summary, I am like the film, 'Phenomenon'--without all the religious WHAT-NOT.

SELF-applicable MATH:

...
IF the saying,

"EARLY to bed and EARLY to rise makes a man HEALTHY, WEALTHY and WISE"

holds true, then by only fulfilling HALF (1/2) of said requirements, I accomplish two thirds (2/3) of the predicted results.
(Was THAT a RUN-ON sentence?!
OR, am I just a bit VERBOSE/WORDY/LOQUACIOUS//GARRULOUS/TALKATIVE/RAMBLING?)
(... I stay awake LATE.  I'm a "night-owl".
My LACK OF properly walking AND/OR talking indicates that I'm NOT 100% "HEALTHY".)


... WOW!  Am I just THAT GOOD that--with HALF the "FIREPOWER"--I produce an ADDITIONAL 0.166(repeating) of the PREDICTED results?!


"Sur-vey SAYS"(--'Family Feud):
YES, I AM!

... "Do you like APPLES?"

...
"I GOT her NUMBAH.
How 'ya like 'DEM APPLES?!
(--'Good WillHunting')


((... Her number is "the BEST number--73"(--'The Big Bang Theory').))

Oh, WOE is ME!

...
Since I'm OBSESSED with any/ALL SPORTS, it's the time of year in which JUST ABOUT

THE ONLY viewable sport (PRO/COLLEGE football) is on the WEEKENDS.
So, I MIGHT be bloggin' more OFTEN.

...

... "Consumption-Log": Week 2:

...
(9/223- 9/27)


Amount                                                              Time

Day 1
 ~1.75 cups of fruit-cocktail                             ~8.00 minutes
(pears, peaches and APPLE SAUCE)

Day 2
~3/4 of a cup of apple pie                              ~4.00 minutes
(from McDonald's)

Day 3
~1.5 cups of carrots                                      ~4.00 minutes

Day 4
~1 cup of peaches                                       ~3.00 minutes

Day 5
~1.5 cups of "sweet potatoes"                    ~7.00 minutes
("yams")




"BREAKDOWN"

5 days/6.5 cups of food/~26.00 minutes

(26/.0/6.5 = ~4 minutes/cup)

On average, I ate ~ONE cup of VARIOUS food per FOUR minutes.